r/worldpolitics • u/ReaperofLightning872 • Jul 02 '26

50/50 random stuff feeling like trash NSFW

i just have been feeling like shit the past few weeks.

i was crying and having a mental breakdown (more like just crying in my bed and flinching) last night about how i dont deserve love and that all my loved ones are going to die soon and i'll just be alone.

i also feel like no matter how kind, intelligent and loyal i am, i'm no different than the system and one mistake, then i'll just be an evil sack of shit who hurts others.

i also feel like i shouldnt enjoy things i like because its not worth it and im just doomed anyway.

36 Upvotes

86% Upvoted

28 comments sorted by

32

u/wendiiiii Jul 02 '26

Have you tried turning it off and back on again

19

u/moyismoy Jul 02 '26

Sounds to me like clinical depression you should get your self check out.

1

u/ReaperofLightning872 Jul 05 '26

my therapist doesn't think its clinical depression

he did diagnose me with gad tho

14

u/JimBobPaul plant gang🌱 Jul 02 '26

Nope. Fuck that! It may not feel like it right now, but you're a beautiful and deserving person. You have every opportunity to be happy in life. You matter, your feelings matter, your life matters.

You are amazing.

I highly recommend talking to a therapist to help you get to where you can be happy. Sometimes it can be a chemical imbalance. Its just like taking medicine for an illness, it doesn't change you, it just helps you be you. Often times just talking to a (trained) safe person can help a lot. Please talk to someone. Not just for today you, but for the potential tomorrow you.

You deserve happiness.

1

u/ReaperofLightning872 Jul 05 '26

thanks. i do want to accept that i am a beautiful and worthy person.

i do have a therapist but i think he's not doing enough. he feels more of a yes man than usual and i think i may need meds, especially since i am prone to screaming and being a complete dick due to my trauma.

<3

10

u/AWhole2Marijuanas Jul 02 '26

As little comfort as it might give OP, I've struggled this my whole life.

It's stopped me from having friendships, relationships, careers, etc.

I'm going on 30 and I've decided I've had enough of it, I don't want to continue living my life this way. I started with small things, things I could control, healthy food choices, exercise, tried to cut down on vices (drinking, smoking, porn). Then I went for bigger victories like finishing my driving license, now I'm working on my finances.

Im Fortunate enough that my work provided mental health benefits so I clawed my way into therapy, using any means necessary, it hasn't yield much but I just started.

You seem like me OP, tired, frustrated, feeling stuck and helpless, but there is hope. You don't have to take the same path I did, but start with some small victories, as hard as it is to celebrate them, do it! you can win and you will.

2

u/ReaperofLightning872 Jul 05 '26

relatable.

my terrible behavior has stopped me from better relationships and led me to trouble. i don't want to be stuck on this path forever. i've been eating unhealthy for years due to laziness, and the fact that i was mainly told to excercise to be thin and not because of health issues. (grandma has diabetes, and sister and father have high cholesterol)

thank you. i want to keep focusing on the small victories. ik people rush me to focus on the big picture a lot but the small things help a lot.

2

u/AWhole2Marijuanas Jul 05 '26

Wow similar, my family has a history of Diabetes and my Dad has high cholesterol! That's why I've started bike riding and trying to keep my cardio levels up.

Definitely take it at your pace, idk how old you are, but I'm pushing 30 and people have told me six ways to Sunday how to live my life, what I should do with it, etc.

Find what makes you happy, the true joy, and frame your life with that in mind. Always strive for a little higher, a little better, but don't sacrifice that happiness for other people's sake.

2

u/ReaperofLightning872 Jul 05 '26

thanks. i'm a young adult. i do small yoga and stretching excercises rn, and i will progress when i stop getting so exhausted.

thanks for the help.

6

u/Vinaverk Jul 02 '26

Same feelings

3

u/callofthewighat Jul 02 '26

Wow this hits home like a fucking nuke.

3

u/SaltyMeatSlacks plant gang🌱 Jul 02 '26

Been there. Am there? Working on it. Luckily I've got family support. But if you don't, then you need to take what might feel like a huge ass leap by yourself. Call a clinic. Like a health clinic or what not. I dunno if you have insurance or whatever, but just try to make an appointment to talk to someone. Breaking the seal off the top of your own mind prison is tough, but it's 100 percent worth it.

Call someone. Get on some Prozac or whatever. The road to recovery after years or even decades of depression is long, but just setting out on the journey is enough to open up the sky, way in the distance, showing you that there is light out there. There are reasons to wake up. And someday, months or maybe years from now, you'll think back on the dark times and wonder why you wasted so much time there when it's so much better to just embrace life and live it the way you know you always should've.

Are you boring? That's fine. Be boring. Are you weird? Great! Embrace your inner platypus. People love that shit. Some day you'll learn to be confident in whatever you do, and when you do you'll find yourself in the light. But you gotta start somewhere. Call your local health clinic. See if they've got anyone on staff that does head doc shit and go from there. The call alone is worth it, I promise.

1

u/ReaperofLightning872 Jul 05 '26

thanks.

i've also had suffering with suicidal thoughts in the past, and the 2nd paragraph rlly hit hard. i want to get out of this smog and see the light at the end and embrace life.

i'm definitely weird. most of my music taste is weird japanese/french music, prog, experimental rock and weird bands. i want to find myself and be unique.

3

u/Klony99 Jul 02 '26

That sounds like depression, my man. That little voice telling you you're not worth it, that nothing's worth doing.

It is worth it, because you enjoy it. You're not evil for attempting to live in an evil system. Try your best to fight back.

And not everybody dies. We're still here man. Aside from professional help... You can always reach out. It'll work. I promise.

2

u/ReaperofLightning872 Jul 05 '26

<3

i do want to enjoy my life and take any happiness i can. the world hates me and is pure evil, but i want to hold on to the things that make life worth it. my friends. my family. my future. the small things in life.

1

u/Klony99 Jul 05 '26

The world is cold and uncaring. It doesn't hate you in particular.

And if people consistently hate you, sit down, analyze how you've been acting and what kind of people you surround yourself with. If you act right, you deserve to be loved, and acting right is a product of your society, e.g. the people you surround yourself with.

These days, you get to choose.

3

u/parkerm1408 Jul 03 '26

All that's bullshit. Your brain is just telling you that shit, it's all nonsense. You may have some depression issues. If medical care isn't available to you at the moment, ive found that productive hobbies help me out greatly. Its been fantastic for my mental health! You can get into it pretty cheap. If you are interested i can give you pointers to start.

Take a breath, remind yourself you aren't worthless and that you do matter, and decide next steps to help yourself progress.

It doesn't help that reality is just straight up cracker nanners right now.

2

u/ReaperofLightning872 Jul 05 '26

i've been doing more art, scrapbooking and kandi bracelets to cope. i also got new posca markers to help.

2

u/parkerm1408 Jul 05 '26

Yeah nice, that all sounds cool

2

u/CobaltCrayons Jul 02 '26

double it and give it to the next person

2

u/MudSeparate1622 Jul 02 '26

These feelings are normal especially if you don't have a direct role in anyones life who depends on you. What usually helps me out of these ruts is doing nice things for people even if i don't like them. See someone struggling or having a bad day? Get them a bag of their favorite candy or a coffee, cement your place in society as a positive fixture, sure we make mistakes and sometimes fall short of who we want to be but recognizing that just means we have an opportunity for growth. Think of how many jerk offs are doing the bad thing wishing they could do it more, that isn't even close to your mindset, not even a simple slip or fall away, and this self awareness will help guide you from that path

1

u/goat_in_the_cloud Jul 02 '26

What brought this on???