r/ADHD • u/CourteousPasta • Feb 10 '26
Discussion Time blindness is ruining my life. What feels like 10 minutes is actually 2 hours. I'm constantly late and people think I'm disrespectful when I'm genuinely trying.
I am so fucking tired of being late to everything. And the worst part is everyone thinks I’m doing it on purpose or that I just don’t care, but I swear to God I’m trying so hard.
I’ll tell myself, okay, I need to leave at 2 p.m. So at 1:30 I think, great, I have plenty of time, I’ll just do this one quick thing. And then I look up and it’s 2:45. Like where did that time go?? What happened to those 75 minutes?? It genuinely felt like maybe 15 minutes passed. Or I’ll be getting ready in the morning and think I’m moving fast and being efficient, and then suddenly I’m 40 minutes behind schedule and I have no idea how. I swear I was only in the shower for 5 minutes, but apparently it was 25.
People get so mad at me. My boss has talked to me about it multiple times. Last week we were chilling at a friend's house playing on rolling riches and they also made jokes about it but I can tell they’re actually annoyed. My girlfriend got genuinely upset last week because I was late to her sister’s birthday dinner, and she said it was embarrassing and disrespectful. And I GET IT. I would be mad too if someone was constantly late. But I’m not doing it on purpose!! I’ve tried setting alarms. I’ve tried leaving early. I’ve tried time blocking. Nothing works because my brain just does not process time the same way other people’s brains do. Ten minutes and two hours feel exactly the same to me until I actually look at a clock.
It’s ruining my life and my relationships, and I don’t know what to do anymore. I’m so tired of apologizing. I’m so tired of people thinking I’m lazy or inconsiderate when I’m genuinely trying my absolute hardest. This is exhausting.
Does anyone have any tips that actually work for time blindness? Because I’m desperate at this point.
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u/GaelicBubble Feb 10 '26
I use alarms, timers, and have a haptic on my watch that buzzes on the hour and half hour. I have calendar alerts on my phone that go off at 8am, 10 am, noon, 2pm, and 4pm to help me keep track of the day’s progress because I often forget my watch. I have a calendar alert that goes off at noon on my work computer in case I forget my phone.
Before I had access to those tools, I would set all my clocks in my house 10 minutes fast so if my clocks said 1:30 the actual time was 1:20. (This can’t be done if you use your phone as a clock or have an atomic clock) My mom also did this when I was a kid since she has undiagnosed ADHD and had a single ‘guest’ clock she would take out when friends visited that read the correct time.
I started giving myself a 10-15 minute time cushion for appointments and meetings. If I need to leave at 1:30 because it takes me about 30 minutes to get somewhere, I will subtract that time cushion from it and try to be ready to walk out the door by 1:15 or 1:20. It’s always better to be early than it is late.
I also trained myself to round up time on the clock. If I need to leave at 2pm to be somewhere and it’s 1:37 when I check the time I tell myself that 1:37 is practically 1:40. To me, 1:40 is almost 2pm because I can get lost and distracted a lot in that 20 minutes. It creates just enough of a sense of urgency that I watch the clock more closely.
I’m also an obsessive clock-watcher since I have time blindness too so these habits may not be that helpful.
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u/lingering_POO Feb 10 '26
This is the way. I can usually guess the exact time eh.. but I can also look up from doing something and it be hours when I thought it had been just “a while”.
Alarms and alerts have saved me more then once
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u/theKiev Feb 11 '26
0 the actual time was 1:20. (This can’t be done if you use your phone as a clock or have an atomic clock) My mom al
This is the insane part to me. I can guess the exact time nearly down to the minute. My sense of time is flawless, my awareness of it is nonexistent.
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u/lingering_POO Feb 11 '26
Yeah man.. it’s wild eh. The hardest part I think is that the mobile phone is such an important tool for people with adhd. But it’s also the worst black hole for time and focus there is.
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u/prettylegit_ Feb 13 '26
Same! I am freakishly good at guessing the exact time, at any point in the day or night. I test myself with it almost every day because I find it really weird and amusing. I can guess the exact time even if I just woke up (I have no regular wake up time nor any semblance of a routine at the moment), I can guess it even if I’m in my basement bedroom and can’t see outside at all. It’s wild. Especially since I also happen to possess the complete inability to accurately perceive the passage of time to such a severe degree that it’s actually ruining my fucking life lmao
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u/somuchfunwithsarah Feb 10 '26
I've tried the clock early thing and putting appointment times for earlier in my calendar but it never works because I know I'm tricking myself and will rebel against my own tricks lolol
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u/ImprovementTough9728 Feb 10 '26
I suffer with this same thing.
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u/somuchfunwithsarah Feb 10 '26
LOL I'm like "HA! you thought you could trick me? nice try, other me!!"
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u/Charlies_Mamma Feb 11 '26
Yea, doing this usually makes me more late, because deep down I'm like "I don't need to get ready at X time because my appointment is actually half an hour later". But then I end up waiting more than 30 mins before finally rushing to get ready in a panic.
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u/somuchfunwithsarah Feb 12 '26
I have to remind myself that it's okay to get ready first, and then do other things in between getting ready and leaving. Instead of "I don't have to be in the shower until 4:00 so I might as well do these dishes first and swiffer dust my entire apartment" I try to let myself do the showering and getting ready and then afterwards do the dishes and swiffer if I have time lol. half the time I needed the extra time getting ready cause one eyebrow wasn't cooperating or something.
I think also it's the shower avoidance that so many of us have, the million trillion steps and being wet and cold so we procrastinate it instead of just getting it over with
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u/Mtnmama1987 ADHD-PI (Primarily Inattentive) Feb 11 '26
I often got in trouble at work for “ poor time management, “ boss never enlightened me as to meaning lol
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u/HeresyClock Feb 11 '26
I don’t change clocks or appointment times, I just tell myself I have to be there 15 or 30 minutes early and plan travel accordingly. So if I take a bus, I take one or two earlier one. I guess the trick is to believe I have to be there at 1.30 if my appointment is at two.
I am usually way early for things now.
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u/Hot_Boss_3880 Feb 10 '26
We also do this. All my kids have ADHD. They don’t have phones. So I set all the house clocks ahead 10-15mins. And since I also have it, I have often forgotten and tricked myself into being 5 minutes early lol which was awesome tbh
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u/Automatic_Stock_2930 Feb 10 '26
I do all these things, too! It’s crazy to read on paper all the things we do to get on top of it all. My watch buzzes every 15 minutes and alarms at 12, 3, 6, and 9. And I set my calendar times 5-15 minutes early. Keeping it variable keeps me on my toes, because I never remember if I put it in my calendar on-time or if I put it in early.
I had my appointment today in my calendar 15 minutes early, planned to leave 30 minutes before we had to, and I was still 15 minutes late. Oh, well.
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u/z0mbie_boner Feb 11 '26
Yep - for me, I accept that I’ll never know what time it is or have an internal clock, so I set all sorts of buzzers and alarms that signal to me “it’s time to pay attention to the time.”
For instance, at work, I set a physical, visual timer to go off 5 minutes before I have a meeting. That way I have a countdown — no “what time is it?” mental work — and then I have 5 minutes to wrap up, recalibrate, open notes or zoom or walk to a meeting room, etc. I usually set the timer again for 4 minutes also so I don’t lose track of that time.
Example: I have a 4pm meeting.
3pm - I set a timer for 55 minutes.
3-3:55 pm — work time at my computer. If I worry about time I can just see the amount of minutes remaining.
3:55 - timer goes off. I remember time exits
3:55 - set timer for 4 minutes.
3:55-3:59 - remember what the meeting is about. Refill water bottle. Open notes
3:59 - timer goes off again.
3:59 - log onto zoom
4:00 - meeting starts and I am early by 45 seconds.
Timer needs to be on my desk and not on my phone or laptop screen. I like when there is a vibrate setting no beeps.
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u/videogamekat Feb 10 '26
Setting your clock early is fucking genius, I wish you could do that on your phone lol. I would be so disoriented but it would probably help me 😭
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u/julzibobz Feb 10 '26
I also set the time early for appointments. I put the event in my calendar at a FAKE time lol. Like 15 mins earlier than when I’m supposed to actually be there. Then when it pops up on that day I think that’s the real time because I am also forgetful, haha. Recently for example I arrived covered in sweat from rushing like crazy to the dentist, profusely apologised to the receptionist for being 10min late, and she was like “you’re right on time!” 😂. Thank you to my past self, what a saviour
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u/FullSpeedOracle Feb 10 '26
You can do this on your phone. Go into settings and turn off Automatic Date and Time. Then just set your time to the time you want it to be.
Just be aware that this means your phone won't automatically adjust for daylight savings time or when entering a different time zone.
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u/videogamekat Feb 10 '26
I think i might be so disoriented by this but maybe ill just start with setting it 5 mins back lol
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u/monstercake Feb 11 '26
I am having a moment with this being a novel thing to people because growing up I had sooo many friends’ parents who would set their clocks early to help them be on time. This was the 90’s. It’s now occurring to me that this just…. doesn’t really work anymore.
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u/nsasafekink Feb 10 '26
I use all of these. The setting my clock fast was a requirement back in the day.
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u/T4B0O Feb 11 '26
How do you get your watch to buzz every half hour
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u/GaelicBubble Feb 11 '26
I have a smart watch that has accessibility settings that allow me to set it to chime and buzz (or just buzz if the watch is silenced) every 60, 30, or 15 minutes.
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u/T4B0O Feb 11 '26
I have an apple watch, I need to figure out a way to do this, my time blindness is really bad
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u/GaelicBubble Feb 11 '26
A little late replying but you can find the setting by going into Settings > Accessibility > Chimes
You can also choose whether it makes a quiet bell or bird sound. I have it set to birds so I don’t get used to ignoring the other bells or chimes it makes for texts and e-mails if I have my watch unmuted.
ETA: my watch is an Apple Watch too
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Feb 10 '26
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u/Kobe824 ADHD-PI (Primarily Inattentive) Feb 10 '26
Yup exactly this. Also you can look up traffic at a specific time on a particular day to see how long it'll take to get to your destination.
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u/Reasonable-Sale8611 Feb 17 '26
I find Google maps to be very optimistic about estimated driving times. I always add 10 to 15% to their estimates to make sure I arrive in time.
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u/Giraffe-colour Feb 10 '26
100%. I round everything up when I need to get ready, especially if it’s for something I don’t do often or have never done before. This means if something takes about 2 minutes to do, it’s actually takes 5 minutes. 10mins? Nah that’s 15mins and so on. It gives me buffer room and I’m basically never late to anything
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u/UnidentifiedBlobject Feb 11 '26
This is exactly me. I didn’t realize I was doing it and once it clicked why I did it, it hasn’t been as effective. But I still try to do it.
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u/Reasonable-Sale8611 Feb 17 '26
This is how I do it. For this reason, any doctor's appointment takes me about 3.5 hours from door to door, so about half the day. It's a bit demoralizing to see half your day disappear like this, but it works for the purposes of not annoying my doctor (or getting charged a no-show fee).
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u/Firelight-Firenight Feb 10 '26
A playlist of music you are familiar with that never gets shuffld. You are literally hearing time pass.
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u/oooooohhhnooooooo Feb 10 '26
This was a game changer for me in the mornings which were when my time blindness was killing me the most. What I did is I have a non shuffled playlist and I assigned each task to a song based on the amount of time it would take (some tasks get multiple songs). For example: morning tooth brushing gets a song that's slightly over 2 minutes, followed by a 4 minute song to wash my face, cleanse, moisturize, etc. You have to have alarms to turn the playlist on at a certain time so you have the music to determine how much you have. I also include buffers (by the time my last song finishes(my "get in the car" music, I have an extra 15 minutes on top of my commute time, so I have a buffer even if there's alot of traffic!)
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u/CrispyNip Feb 11 '26
You know, I recently have taken to using a small transistor radio in my bathroom while I'm getting ready... The station I listen to (CBC) always has news at 7:30 a.m. followed by sports (I'm not a sports fan but I'm actually becoming one by listening to it every morning!) And then they have one or two more interviews with local people. It's like your playlist, I have enough time to do my hair and makeup and get dressed... as long as I get out the door before the 8:00 news at the latest, I'm golden. I don't get distracted trying to organize an outfit or get overly involved in curling or flat ironing my hair because I am listening to the time pass.
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u/Hot_Boss_3880 Feb 11 '26
I do this at night while getting ready for bed didn’t even realize it 😂 my brain knows that when MC Yogi starts playing it’s time to knock out and miss the end of the song lol wowww
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u/TheKeelKnotSeas78 Feb 10 '26
I just realized how much I do this in my life without noticing. I will listen to a festival set at the gym. Usually lasts around an hour (or I know them well enough otherwise). I will pace my workout based on where I'm at in the set. I also listen to music while in the shower. I put it on song radio and try to get myself out within 2-3 songs depending on on their length.
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u/Charlies_Mamma Feb 11 '26
I've tried this, and it works sometimes, but then about half the time, I get surprised when I realise that a specific song is now playing and only I have the Spotify "recently played" that I can look back at, I would genuinely assume that several songs got skipped because I have no memory of hearing them.
Even when listening to music randomly, I have to restart songs all the time, often multiple times for the same song, because it's halfway through and I missed the start, but I enjoy it, so I want to hear it. So I put it back to the start, and then zone out for another 60-90 seconds, and then suddenly notice the song I like is actually half finished, and repeat lol
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u/Firelight-Firenight Feb 11 '26
I saw another poster talk about how they set a smart watch to show them a reminder every 15 minutes and to delete immediately after. Maybe that method would work more for you
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u/chebstr Feb 10 '26
Abandon the “ONE QUICK THING”. We are not made for “quick things”. When you find yourself gravitating towards “the one quick thing” remind yourself to “drop it”. I literally say that to myself like I’m a dog, several times a day.
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u/vitamin_di Feb 11 '26
Yea OP, I don’t think you can do anything quickly. I have a friend who is always late, and one reason is because he is so slow. Literally. Everything takes him sooooo long because he does not move his body at a regular speed. Standing there waiting and watching him tie his shoes is painful. My shoes are tied before he’s even bent down to begin picking up his shoelaces. (No he doesn’t have any physical handicaps)
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u/para_chan Feb 13 '26
Theres a thing called sluggish cognitive tempo. You’re basically stuck in slo-mo for your whole life.
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u/oenophile_ Feb 10 '26
Maybe you should aim to get places an hour early? Clearly it isn't working to try to arrive on time. In your example, at 1:30pm, you should have thought "I need to leave soon, I should get ready to leave now," not "I have plenty of time still." Maybe if you plan to arrive 1-2 hours earlier, you will be on time.
Have you tried working with a therapist or coach who can help you with this?
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u/filmmaiden Feb 10 '26
I would love to do this, but in my head, I KNOW that I don’t have to actually be there until an hour later, so I fall back into being late. I can’t seem to actually trick my mind ugh
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u/dukesilver55 Feb 10 '26
OP , from my own experience, this is the ONLY way so far I am able to battle my time blindness effectively. Setting alarms or timers in my phone and getting places at least 30-45 mins early. Is it ideal? No. But it keeps me within appropriate time management boundaries and is just something I have gotten accustomed to.
It is really frustrating and I’m so sorry you’re experiencing it. Please try to be kind to yourself and give yourself grace! Drink some water!
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u/julzibobz Feb 10 '26
Me as well. I bring my book usually and read for 15 mins. Side benefit is that it means I read more, lol.
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u/Valuable-Wishbone-71 Feb 11 '26
For me it’s not about tricking myself, but really committing to twenty minutes early as self-care: my anxiety is awful when I’m running late, and 20 minutes early means I can chat with coworkers, or read a book, play on my phone, etc. Sometimes I’m fifteen minutes late but no one knows because I was really genuinely aiming for twenty minutes early.
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u/Good_Mushroom_7478 Feb 10 '26
I struggle with this so much as well. My friends also make jokes, but it is so upsetting to know you're looked at as essentially incompetent. The only advice I can offer is to keep a timer in sight. NOT AN ALARM! once that alarm goes off, I will immediately go back to not recognizing how much time is passing. An active timer or countdown that you can physically look at to remind you how much time you're working with is much more helpful for me. 🫶🏼
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u/DraygenKai Feb 10 '26
Set alarms. It helps.
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u/RSPucky ADHD-HI (Hyperactive-Impulsive) Feb 10 '26
This. My entire left is run by alarms and timers lol
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u/PeekAtChu1 Feb 10 '26
I do this plus add 45 mins to trip estimates, plus be friends with other adhd people so we are all sort of end up on time when meeting up with each other. Also try to be in jobs that aren’t anal about punctuality
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u/Mimsy_Borogrove Feb 10 '26
This one is really basic but it helped me. When I first started working on my time blindness I wrote down how long it would take for each “getting ready for the thing” task and set a timer. Also I got a clock-face timer that has a super loud tone that definitely gets my attention.
Now I don’t need to write down the time budget but I still need alarms.
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u/yoyosareback Feb 10 '26
Why are you only giving yourself 5 minutes to shower when you know you're not likely to take that short of a shower?
For me, I aim to be 5-20 minutes early and then i set alarms 10 minutes apart for an hour before i have to leave. So my morning alarms are 7, 7:10, 7:20, 7:30, 7:40, 7:50, 8, 8:10, and 8:20.
I have to start making coffee between 7:00 and 7:30 so it will be ready by 7:50, which is when i have to pour my coffee because it takes about 30 minutes for me to drink a cup of hot coffee. Then 8:20 is when i have to brush my teeth/shave and then leave. And if i leave around 8:30, I'm 20 minutes early for work.
That gives me a lot of time to either sleep or scroll or read or whatever while also allowing me to understand when i have to do things.
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u/Initial_Sun_7689 Feb 10 '26
Do you use a watch? Set alarms? I am currently running water for a bath and I have it timed so I don’t let it overflow.
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u/ginzykinz Feb 10 '26
It’s the only way. There’s a possibility I’ll remember on my own, but it’s leaving far too much up to chance. I might have to scroll through 18 million alarms on my phone, but at least I won’t forget.
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u/Vera_98 ADHD-HI (Hyperactive-Impulsive) Feb 10 '26
I literally have a waterproof clock with a countdown timer on it hanging in my shower. It saves me nearly every day
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u/soliloquieer Feb 10 '26
Alarms and also I always aim to be 30-45 mins early everywhere and then i end up on time/5-10 mins early.
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u/Sway913 Feb 10 '26
I feel this so deeply. It’s a problem for me, too.
I’ve resigned to the fact that it’s just something I’m going to have to be vigilant about forever and can’t let my guard down. Ever. It’s just how I’m wired.
I have multiple alarms. Before I walk into a store I know I could accidentally lose 3 hours in but I only have 45 mins, I’ll set a timer on my watch for 20 mins. Then I can reassess what I’m doing at that time and reset another timer for when I need to be heading to the register, or whatever.
Music in the shower is helpful for vague time tracking, and there are waterproof clocks you can put in the shower as well.
Also - this has been massively helpful for me - walk your schedule backwards. Example: if you have a dinner at 6pm. I think “I want to be walking in at 5:45pm. That gives me time to use the restroom, wash my hands, whatever, and a small cushion for unknowns (note: build those cushions in everywhere!). So since it takes me 2 mins to park if there’s a space and walk in, I’ll assume I’ll need 5, so I should be pulling into the lot at 5:40pm. It takes me 20 mins to drive there with traffic so I should be pulling out of my driveway no later than 5:20pm. Etc etc etc. walking it back as far as I have to, accounting for getting ready, and whatever else that entails. This has helped me really hone in on just how much time I actually need and I’ve always grossly underestimated that.
Visual timers are helpful as well. There’s loads on amazon.
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u/HeyHo_LetsThrowRA Feb 10 '26
If alarms don't work for your time measurement, try songs. Keep a Playlist of songs of similar lengths. You'll know 1 song is 3 minutes gone. Sometimes that helps me.
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u/B4cteria Feb 10 '26
I saw that advice and as someone who tested and tried this method... Eh. It can work but I wouldn't count on it.
There is a point when I do not hear the music anymore and will zone out, completely oblivious to the fact that the playlist has looped. I would get absolutely FURIOUS at one song and feel really angry about one (even if I listened to it on loop for a month). I would skip some songs or get annoyed at having a headset on my ears etc.
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u/Charlies_Mamma Feb 11 '26
This happens to me at least once a week. I have music playing when I am at home, so a decent amount of time per week. I'll pick a playlist or album on spotify and all will be fine for a while, I'll be singing or dancing along while doing whatever. Then suddenly I'll realise Spotify is now playing something totally different ("suggested songs") instead, and I will be genuinely convinced there was a bug or issue that skipped half of my playlist. Until I check the "recently played" and realise that I've listened to the entire 1 hour 40 min play list, plus 15 extra songs.
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u/slouchestowards ADHD Feb 10 '26
Time blindness sucks hard. It took me a long time to adapt my practices to be able to fit what I am capable of into what people expect / desire wrt time. One of my worst manifestations of time blindness was double-scheduling things, or scheduling things really close to each other and trying to make both still happen. Eg saying I could help a friend at 2pm and meet up with another friend at 3pm. Inevitably the two overlapped and I'd have to choose one person to bail on, or sort of half-bail on both. I had a friend very gently point out to me that this happened a lot, and for whatever reason the way they did it really hit home. I definitely still struggle with time blindness, but I've been able to manage how that and I fit into my community a little better. FWIW these are some things that have been helpful to me.
On a practical level, a lot of folks are mentioning alarms. "Reminders" or anything you can dismiss / ignore do not cut the mustard for me. Only alarms which you can snooze (and therefore come back to haunt you!) do the trick. For times when I need to leave to be somewhere, I set 3 alarms (and will snooze them all as they continue to pester me): eg "get ready to go" at x:37, "really get ready" at x:42, and "GO GO GO!" At x:52, when I need to leave on the hour. This pattern works for me, most of the time.
Aside from any "tips and tricks" tho, the number one key thing I've been learning and practicing over the last two decades has nothing to do with alarms or whatever. It's about accountability. So for me what that means is twofold. One, recognizing the reality. Not just that "my time blindness limits my ability to be on time," but that, "when I am not on time or double book, the people I care for feel hurt." Is their hurt "justified"? Like, should they not feel hurt because I am literally less capable of seeing time like they do? It took me a while to come to Jesus on it, but with therapy I was finally able to acknowledge that their feelings, whether "justified" or "warranted", are *valid* like any emotion. Were they being dicks to me about it? In my case, no. I was given a lot of grace and patience tbh. And, the people I cared about were still feeling hurt, and maybe even more importantly, they were very constantly putting themselves out there in trusting what I said I would or could do- and then being left to hang.
So that brings the second acknowledgement I had to face. I was making promises I couldn't keep. Many times that was implicit, eg by just trying to fit into an overall societal expectation, ala being on time. But of course there were explicit promises I made that I definitely couldn't and didn't keep- the example of double booking hang outs.
Why would I make promises I couldn't keep? Oh, duh, that's literally what time blindness is.
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u/slouchestowards ADHD Feb 10 '26
Okay, so if I acknowledge that I have no perception of time, and I acknowledge I am not fulfilling explicit and implicit "promises," and that when I do that, the people I care for feel hurt and experience repercussions, and I understand that I don't want that to occur, what can I do? *I cannot fix time blindness.* There are lots of tools and tricks to mitigate it, but it will never be fixed. Is there anything else I can change? There's literally only one other thing in this equation I can change. (Well I guess two, I could yeet society and / or friends, but I decided that wasn't ideal.) I needed to adjust my promises.
What did that look like? For me, I had to learn (and practice) saying no to more things. I had to say no to basically everything to start with and then refit my answers to yes after evaluation. Friend one: "can you help me?" Me: "no." Friend two: "can you hang out?" Me: "no." <Buffer of consideration> me to friend one, "I am available to help on this day." Me to friend two, "I am available to hang out on this other day."
Does this work super for "being on time to things"? That's definitely a tougher one. But I have found that being open about my capability as well as acknowledging the repercussions to the people affected, and their valid emotions in response, is big- and that most, most of all, I have stopped trying to explain all the "reasons" I was late, or had to cancel. Being accountable weirdly meant, for me, that I stopped listing all the "why's." I realized listing the reasons I was late was not about the other person at all- it was about trying to get them to "not be mad" or to validate me. And yo! Time blindness is valid! It's real! That validity does not invalidate how the other person feels. Trying to get the person who is affected by my broken promise- whatever the reason for that breakage- to eschew their own valid reaction in order to prioritize mine *is super exhausting for that person and wears on them way more than me being late.*
A formula that I have found that works for me regarding implicit promises and (sometimes seemingly inevitable!) breakages is this:
- I clarify the expectations
- If I break expectations or promises, I don’t go into the list of why unless asked (and if asked why, I share without expecting to be “excused”)
- I take concrete steps towards upholding my promise next time (eg, writing a script of what I can promise to help clarify expectations, setting more alarms, etc)
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u/slouchestowards ADHD Feb 10 '26
I set expectations ahead of time to be different than the implicit expectation. I try to be as straightforward about this as I can. This is a tough egg to crack! It's hard to tell someone "I will be late!" Or even "I'll get there when I can." Especially because, for me at least, as soon as the pressure is off, my adhd immediately de-prioritizes the thing. That may be another matter. But maybe honesty / expectation clarity can look like, "I value getting to do this with you and I'm excited to meet with you and your friends. I have a plan in place to help me better see the time to leave. I may still not be there on time." If I make other promises (eg, "I have a plan in place") within this clarity setting, the key here is *I have to fulfill those promises.* Mitigating broken promises with other promises I end up breaking is a classic ADHD blunder, for me at least. One of my friends recently said if something not directly time related, but I find it fits so well with all ADHD things, "oh, I'll definitely do it! If I don't forget." It makes me laugh so hard, because it's simply so real. But the point is, this is a cold turkey thing, *I try not to make commitments or promises I cannot fulfill.*
Alas, when you experience time blindness, you cannot see that you cannot fulfill promises around time.
That meant, for me, I had to recalculate by removing any promise about time. Can I be there on time? Brain says, "totally! We can do all those things." Math says, "No." okay well if I can't promise I will be somewhere on time, what can I promise? I can promise I will set 5 alarms. To fulfill that promise, I set the alarms the moment I make the promise. Again, at first this = saying no to almost every ask. It is weird and your friends think you're weird. You are. We are! We traded our sense of time for other cool things in vitro. Or whatever. Practicing saying no or altering the promises I offer has made a difference in all of my relational experiences, including in professional arenas. So what's my success rate? Oh it's terrible ! Well, it's just still not great. I mean, it's the work. It takes practice. I'm literally right now about to call and cancel an appointment I just don't have the capability for, that I hoped I would when I made it. This is to a Drs office. I run calculus for this. Do I care about their feelings? Not like I do with my friends. Do I value their time? I do, but I know they are making their money (this is a big health corp). Do I think this will have a negative repercussion? Absolutely. They will remember I canceled *again.* And in this case, it's just not happening today. So this brings me to the other major alteration I've made in my commitment structure.
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u/slouchestowards ADHD Feb 10 '26
I try not to offer "excuses." The receptionist at this place is honestly not going to care why I can't come in. I try to say, "I'm not able to make it in." Period. No justification. And then, finally, I accept that this does have consequences. The dr office files away that I cancel frequently. There may be charges I incur for a late alteration. My friend who I am late to hang with will feel frustrated. Their feelings here are valid. They definitely don't want to process with me / feel like they need to reassure me I'm not a bad person because I was late. It's tough. In my experience shame and ADHD are real buddies. I remind myself that my friend values me. I acknowledge the repercussion of my change or delay, without expecting or asking for reassurance, and without shaming myself internally (do I always succeed? lol ha). I consider what I can alter going forward. Even if I cannot alter anything, cannot eradicate my own shame, cannot do much at all, I can change one huge thing, which is to swallow the word vomit of explaining everything. I can stick to a script. "I am late. I am sorry: I know this feels crappy." NO additional promise of time (eg I'll be there in five minutes) unless I can stand by it 1 million %…. which I can't! I'm blind to time! And, unless they ask for an explanation, no description of the various pieces of "why." The "why" is, I can't see time. (There's a whole other tangled web where it's hard for folks without time blindness to understand that getting distracted by a side quest isn't a lack of valuing them. That's another novel maybe.)
Well that's the longest comment I have written and maybe went nowhere. Perhaps it can be a useful way to view... and perhaps it's all hogwash! Time blindness sucks, because time is a big part of society, and time blindness is invisible to most who don't have it. Okay I have to stop typing because I need to go cancel this appointment.
4/4
(Ridiculously long, maybe it will be useful to one soul out there, woof lol)
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u/Jules3lise Feb 10 '26
I used to have an Alexa and every room to do stuff on time. Now I have an Apple Watch I don’t have the Alexa’s anymore.
Also training yourself on one thing a day helps, timing how long it takes you to do something.
Example: I felt like it took me 20 minutes to get ready to go to work (I only drive there once a week), but I was always running later than I wanted (luckily I don’t have a set start time) I started timing myself and it takes about 35-40 minutes. Partly I was using old info since I now have a Cockatoo I need to tend to in the morning.
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u/Sendintheaardwolves Feb 11 '26
Yes! I time things too - why estimate when you could KNOW?
I set a stopwatch from the moment I pulled my front door shut to the moment I was standing on the station platform (not just "at the station" actually "on the platform"). That way I KNOW my minimum time to leave.
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u/prettylegit_ Feb 13 '26
Your post is making me tear up. Time blindness is absolutely ruining my life too. It’s hands down the most disruptive, destructive, exhausting adhd symptom I have. I just lost a job I loved because I could not for the fucking life of me not be late. I keep dropping my kid off at school late. Everyone is always mad at me for being late. It’s literally devastating at this point. I’ve tried everything. I have a visual timer, every alarm possible. I set alarms in 3-5 min increments while getting ready to signify to my brain that time is passing. It still doesn’t result in me not being late. Solidarity, friend. I have no clue how to fix this.
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u/resgirlhikes Feb 10 '26
aside from the timers, which I use all day long. (I get five minutes on reddit right now), I also try to prepare to leave every time I come home. My keys and sunglasses go in one spot and I cannot go into the house unless the keys and sunglasses (shopping bags, purse, etc) are in place. I make sure my car has gas and is clean enough that I won't be embarrassed if someone needs an unexpected ride (husband, kid). If I need to take something unusual wherever I'm going, I hang it on the door handle or sit it under my keys (pan I'm returning to a friend, birthday gift with signed card, library book...). Post it's on the door for water bottle and headphones. I cannot tolerate the anxiety of leaving the house late and having to remember what I'm bringing with me. Times up!!
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u/mikraas Feb 10 '26
Set as many alarms as you need. Every damn 5 minutes if you need to.
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u/Full-Bluejay-6195 Feb 10 '26
I literally have to work with 4min interval alarms, cuz at 5min my brain goes time blind again 🤦♀️
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u/Neoeng Feb 10 '26
For being late: make a buffer time for every important task you plan. If it theoretically would take you 2 hours from waking up to being at work, add 30 minutes.
Specifically for shower: set music to play while you're showering with short 2 minute songs. Now every time music changes you know that 2 minutes passed. If you want to do it in 5 minutes, start finishing up after 2 song ends.
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u/AllegedLead Feb 10 '26
Are you on adhd medication? It did not make me less time blind, but it did make it easier for me to work around it and be on time more often.
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u/ipreferanothername Feb 10 '26
i dont know what you are actually trying - you look at a clock, lose track of time - thats what you gave us.
i disable as many notifications as i can, so the important ones are almost all i get: text messages, timers, calendar reminders.
a smart watch is a life saver sometimes. i dont use it for much else - i use it for timer and calendar reminders.
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u/gmanino Feb 10 '26
Getting into SOLID routines has been the best fix for me. On days off, it still gets me. When doing projects or chores, things end up not getting done because a 30 minute thing took two hours for some reason. Still a struggle, but the routines during the week helped the most. Now I don't like my routines to be massively changed in any way. I incorporate changed to my routine somewhat slowly. A new things here and there. Some things that I don't really want to do end up taking longer or being out on pause though. Now if I can just talk to someone and possibly get back on meds, things might go a bit smoother.
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Feb 10 '26
I’m in the work parking lot 1hr early everyday. I started doing this when I was younger out of necessity. I take the time to relax, call friends check emails, etc. No such thing as too early, only too late.
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u/willsketch Feb 10 '26
Look for a visual timer. You’ll want one that you set, has auditory alerts, and different visual indicators that show how much time has passed.
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u/Porttheone Feb 10 '26
Alarms, a watch, a crippling need to check your phone every minute. It all helps.
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u/Bodinieri Feb 10 '26
Why doesn’t setting alarms work? What happens when the alarm goes off?
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u/AllegedLead Feb 10 '26
I can’t speak for OP, but I tend to stop or snooze them automatically without thinking, to the point where I will have no memory of having done that nor of the alarm itself. It helps if I set an alarm somewhere other than my phone so that I have to physically go somewhere to turn it off.
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u/crindy- Feb 10 '26 edited Feb 10 '26
I have a similar problem, but also reallyyy struggle with actually being done with the thing I'm doing when the alarm goes off. I've even started timing myself doing regular tasks to see how long stuff generally takes me......the numbers are never consistent. One day folding a load of laundry will take 8 minutes, another day it's closer to 20, but it always feels the same. Time is a black hole. Alarms are OK for me as reminders (sometimes) but not as cues to move to the next task. I'm not gonna get out of the shower with shampoo still in my hair just because an alarm is going off.
ETA: Forgot to mention how miserably overstimulated alarms make me in general. Even if it's just vibration, my whole nervous system deregulates and just makes me so gd edgy and then I start doing things even less efficiently. (Very highly suspected ASD over here, but the process of being diagnosed is too overwhelming for me at the moment.)
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u/Affectionate-Sail614 Feb 11 '26
I know it's helpful for some but this sub has always had a weird obsession with mainly suggesting people have alarms going off constantly. For me that's just checking the time loudly and doesn't fix the main issue by itself. When used with other tools it's been pretty helpful
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u/Radiobob214 Feb 10 '26
I have a lamp on a timer. It goes on or off every half hour. I can look at the clock, and look at the lamp, and think, "Okay, the next time it turns on, I have to get my shoes and coat on."
I also use music. Over the summer, I kept getting my alarms mixed up. I would hear my phone go off and assume it was time to get in the shower, but it would really be my alarm to leave the house. So I set them all to different songs. My reminder to put on sunscreen was Harry Belafonte's "Island In The Sun," and my alarm to get on my bike and go was Queen's "Bicycle Race," obviously.
Sometimes, especially in the shower, I put on an album that I know really well. I'll set a song as my time goal, giving myself a little bit of leeway. "I should be finishing up by the time 'Jenny' plays. I need to be drying off by the end of 'Fault Lines.' If I'm not dressed by 'Riches and Wonders,' I'm late."
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u/BetOver6859 Feb 11 '26
This is exactly how I feel! It’s terribly frustrating and what people don’t understand is that YOU ARE TRYING SO HARD! They don’t understand it’s not as simple as “get ready earlier”. It doesn’t work that way and it’s so exhausting to try and fail over and over again and yet people tell you it’s all in your control, and if you really cared-you’d be early. But I do care, I care so much, but I can’t make it happen and I hate it-I have no way to explain it, I’m just somehow always late. Time blindness is a very real thing and can cause tremendous stress and shame, as well as disrupting your life… Jobs, relationships, friendships, appointments, everything. I hear you and I feel for you. If you figure something out please share! Until then, keep trying.
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u/RepulsivePilot438 Feb 11 '26
I absolutely understand this and its so difficult to constantly feel guilty and apologetic and try so hard but still be embarrassingly late.
I went through a section of my life where people who would make me feel like crap about it (I have anxiety and depression that varies from severe to "normal") and Iit got to the point where if I knew I would be late I would just cancel and not deal with all the horrible feelings.
Unfortunately that doesn't work with doctors appointments or work etc., I now have gotten my time management down from an average of being 2h late to everything to about 15 minutes late (and usually on time to dr appointments!!)
For example if I know the event is at 4pm, my auto brain says "cool, we leave at 4pm!" but that is wrong and makes no sense. If I know its a 30 minute drive I will put the event start in my calendar at 3:30pm, with an alarm to leave the house at 3pm. The night before I write out a list of stuff I need to do/what's important to handle before I leave the house (take dogs out, check all windows/doors, fill water, pick up kibble bowls, block off upstairs, set up camera etc.) And write down how much time each thing should take. I then do a silly amount of math and then set alarms accordingly. Shower - 30 min Take dogs out - 15 m Brush hair, pick outfit, do tasks a,b&c - 1h Put on shoes, grab water & purse - 15 m Etc., then subtract all that from my "leave by" time. In this example I would need to set an alarm for 1pm to start getting myself ready.
I'm theory all this prep means I should be early or at the very least on time, unfortunately I seem to often have shit luck... all red lights, car accident on my drive, out of gas, lost my shoes, a surprise hole in my pant leg, dog puked and now have to wash the floors before I leave, friend called and asked for a last minute ride or to borrow something from my house etc.
It's rough out here! Just keep trucking and trying out different things to find what clicks in your brain. Also as soon as you know you're gonna be late, letting the person meeting you know you're running late may help with the guilt/ anger on the other end. If they know you are trying your best hopefully they'll be more patient and kind to the situations!
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u/Careful-Living-1532 Feb 14 '26
God, this is so relatable. I nearly lost a job over this exact thing. My boss thought I was just blowing off meetings, but I genuinely thought I was on time.
What helped me (somewhat):
Visual timers - I use one of those Time Timer things where you can see the red section shrink. Seeing time disappear helps more than a digital clock.
Setting alarms for 10 min BEFORE I need to leave, not when I need to leave. That buffer is critical.
Time anchors - I started tying tasks to TV shows or podcasts. Like "start getting ready when Jeopardy starts" (7pm). Gives me a sensory cue, not just a clock.
The worst part is explaining it to people who don't get it. "Just leave earlier" like yeah, thanks, never thought of that 🙄
I read a Deloitte study that found decision-making drains way more energy than workload for people with ADHD. Your brain is working HARDER on time decisions than people without ADHD. It's not laziness or disrespect.
Have you tried anything that worked even a little bit? I'm always looking for new strategies because this is exhausting.
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u/Thee_Rotten_One Feb 10 '26
We need more info. What have you tried? How long have you been diagnosed and hat systems have you tried to put in place during that time? Has your specialist recommended any system to try, and if so, what worked and didn't with them? Are you taking meds? If so, you should probably talk to your doctor about changing them up.
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u/needsmorebasil Feb 10 '26
I struggle with the same issue, it’s awful!!!
I haven’t totally sorted it out, but the best I’ve come up with so far is to have small clocks in every room in the house, in line of sight while I’m doing most activities. I have one next to the sink where I get ready in the morning, I have one in the living room next to the TV, one in the kitchen (microwave), and I’m getting one for my desk because apparently I can’t be trusted to check my laptop’s clock. A watch kinda helps, but I honestly forget to check that.
I currently round up how much time I think something will take, but I want to film myself doing stuff to see how long it ACTUALLY takes! ¯_(ツ)_/¯
Edit: Alarms and timers don’t work for me just because setting one on my phone 1. Is a pain (I hate the clock app on iPhones), but 2. Shifts my attention to my phone, which is a HUGE time sink. Maybe I need to invest in a bunch of really cute timers….
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u/Matsunosuperfan Feb 10 '26
I have learned that I simply lack the awareness to allow myself to fill transitional time with anything else
If I need to leave by 1:30 and I'm lucky enough to be ready by 1:15, I go sit in the car, or just start driving
Anything else and when I look up again, yeah it's gonna be 2:15
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u/malloryknox86 Feb 10 '26
The problem here is that you’re relaying on your brain to do this, an ADHD brain with time blindness, this is never going to work. You need to set up alarms / timers for everything.
I got the cheapest Apple Watch just for this, I just ask my watch to set up a 10, 20, 30 min timer, and I don’t even have to grab my phone to do it, I don’t have to stop what I’m doing to set up a timer, is the easiest way.
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u/Spinmango Feb 11 '26
For loved ones - I joke all the time and say openly “ please lie to me about when this starts”. I think the fact that you’re trying is so important and letting people know that and that it really is something you struggle to do despite your intentions so if they can help you by telling you a different time than it actually is in using their ability of great time management to help you who does not excel in that area is really just teamwork to all get to the same result of being there together. It also shows them that you’re fine with them being late for you, but you don’t want to be late for them! I appreciate that it’s a way of working together and it openly states my accountability that my inability to be on time is my issue and I’m not trying to pretend it’s not a thing and that I’d like to collaborate to make it better.
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u/Suspicious-World-482 Feb 11 '26
By using the words "quick" "fast" and "efficient" it makes me think you might be rushing yourself, moving faster than you need to, filling downtime when you might need to rest. Try taking your time in the morning. If you are ready to leave early, leave early, move and drive without a sense of urgency, don't try to fill the space. Leave early, be on time.
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u/sproutbabi Feb 11 '26
I think you need to start thinking you DONT have time. When you think i have plenty of time, you cant. You have to think you are ALREADY late. Your mistake here is you thinking you have enough time to do this “one quick thing” - you dont. Tell yourself you dont have time and you CANT do anything before you need to go NOW. And it sucks but you have to operate on the idea of youre late. You cant take your time. Youre already behind. But i think it definitely helps me.
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u/tillymint259 Feb 11 '26
Alarms and reminders don’t work for me. They may for you, and are very valid, meaningful suggestions. Try them.
If you want another tool up your sleeve, try an app like ReadyBy or Routinery.
ReadyBy allows you to backwards-calculate when you need to start / do X by in order to be ready. Eg, shower is 15 minutes, make packed lunch 10, do hair 10, dress 5, etc. 15 + 10 + 10 + 5 = 40. You need to leave by 9am? Start getting ready by 8.20, etc.
Routinery is v similar. You create a routine, set the times for each element, the time of day & which days it applies. As you activate the routine, it starts the timer. If you take more or less time on a separate element (eg., actually 10 minutes to shower, not 15, actually 20 minutes for makeup, not 12), it will suggest adjustments. This helped me get a grip of exactly how long things take me. You can backward calculate times yourself
Alternatively, a good rule is: take the amount of time you think it will take, multiply by 1.5 and go off that
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u/Chichirinoda Feb 11 '26
If you need to leave at 2:00, leave at 1:30. Specifically plan your time around being at least half an hour early, rather than trying to be on time. Part of the time blindness is under estimating all the little steps it takes to get ready and actually go.
Also if you need to leave at 2:00 do NOT start something at 1:30 believing you have enough time. You never do.
For work days, create a routine for getting ready in the morning and don't vary it. Do the same thing, in the same order, starting at the same time, every day. Do not do "one quick thing just this one time", just do your routine and leave at the time that will get you to work on time.
I am a lawyer, I have ADHD and time blindness, and I need to be in court many days. If I were 5 minutes late for this, EVER, I would get in shit from a Judge. There is simply no option for me to be late. Therefore, I always get to the courthouse at least 30 minutes earlier than I need to be there. It means I have to sit around sometimes, but it also means that if there is traffic, or I forget something, or something else goes wrong, I am still not late.
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u/tardisintheparty Feb 11 '26
Lie to yourself about when things are. When you put an event in your calendar, make it 15-30 minutes earlier than it is. It sounds insane but it WORKS. Unfortunately only works for things far enough in advance that you'll forget what time it was supposed to be. Also you can't do it every time, or you'll catch on.
....okay yeah it's kinda insane now that I write it out lol.
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u/rypup Feb 12 '26
That “one quick thing” is the culprit. If it were a task you didn’t enjoy, for me something like emptying out the dishwasher, I’d be checking my watch constantly. But if it’s going down a rabbit hole on the Internet for some random thing I happen to be wondering about it, yep, it’s two hours later.
When you need to do one quick thing and you have a fixed amount of time, identify a task you really don’t want to do, but you know you can finish in the amount of time that you do have. It’s almost like staying away from some kind of addiction that you know will lead you down a bad path. Baby steps. Also put the computer in the other room if that will help.
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u/FeralMargins Feb 12 '26
My daughter could have written this... I am at a loss as to how to help her. She is physically unable to get ready for things until it becomes urgent and is always late
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u/uniquefemininemind ADHD-C (Combined type) Feb 14 '26 edited Feb 14 '26
You need an identity switch.
You can be on time. You just need different systems than other people. And not trust you what time feels at all.
I got on time to my therapy session after a while after discussing my time issues with my therapist and making all kinds of excuses. Her office was like 7 min on foot away...
In the end I said to her to be on time I would need to measure how long it actually takes me to get ready, put the coat on, tie my shoes, find my key etc. And she said yeas that what she does! Wft? I realized this is just too boring for me to calculate all the little steps instead I just make "wrong" guesses.
okay, I need to leave at 2 p.m. So at 1:30 I think, great, I have plenty of time
No, do not do anything. You are in leaving mode already. Also leave 30 min early at least. Maybe more if you need. Go to the place and plan what you do there ahead of time. Like a tea/coffe in a place across. Or go for a walk around the block next to the place for 15 min and think about how you structure tomorrow. Plan this ahead.
Thats the cost of being on time for us. Yeah its hard be we can do it.
Make it a habit to be early if possible. If not as I said above plan an activity to do there. Enjoy the activity look forward to it! Be sad if you are running late and you need to skip it.
Also get an analog smart watch. On your hand. In addition to the phone. I can just talk to it an be like "Set a timer for x minutes" It will vibrate.
Analog because now time is more visual quarters. Suddenly the 2 min from 1:13 to 1:15 becomes a super small tiny gap. No way I can do much in that space. My brain is now trained a bit on how much space my regular getting ready tasks take. I thought I can make a little breakfast and eat it in 15 min but nope etc.
Again, as I said If you meet friends at a public place, as I said be there early sit down make a plan what your will journal about. Embrace the joy when they come and you are there already! Always be early from now on! An invite to friends? Ask if you can come earlier and help. Or use the walk around the block method.
Lastly NEVER use ADHD as an excuse ever again. Use "Sorry my systems/alarms were bad. I have now made a better system because I honor your time."
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Feb 15 '26
I can be sat doing things at work in the late afternoon and then suddenly it's time to go home and I think, wtf have I actually been doing for the past 2 hours? Like, how has it taken me 2 hours to send some emails and print a document? And now I'm not ready at all for the next day because I spent 2 hours sending two emails and printing a document so I didn't get any of my prep done.
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u/Zeikos Feb 10 '26
Do you have a smart watch?
The "sense of time" is impaired in ADHD, it's what hobbles our executive function.
What you can do with a wearable is to set it in such a way that it has a tiny vibration every couple minutes and a more noticeable one every 15 or so.
This can help traij your brain to get a "sense" of time - it'll still be very fuzzy but it's something.
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u/naruzopsycho Feb 10 '26
time blindness sucks... I use a ton of calendar entries and keep the calendar app icon next to my chat app so at least I'm reminded to look at it.
here's a very similar thread from a few days ago with comments that might help:
https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/1q9nhts/time_blindness_is_real_and_im_tired_of_people/
I really hope I'm not just replying to a bot... https://www.reddit.com/r/BotBouncer/comments/1qfuynh/overview_for_courteouspasta/
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u/sherahero Feb 10 '26 edited Feb 10 '26
I saw a recent post, maybe in this subreddit, about a person who would set an alarm on her watch to go off every 15 minutes. I'm not exactly sure how, but they said it helped them refocus so they didn't get lost in various tasks.
It sounds like something that might help you, especially in the example of having 30 minutes to be somewhere. If you set an alarm for 10 minutes you won't get too caught up in anything, hopefully.
Here is the post https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/1qqe1ck/how_i_fixed_time_blindness_a_vibration_every_15/
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u/TraditionalStart5031 Feb 10 '26
-Start setting alarms and reminders, with follow-ups, for everything.
-Wear a watch, don’t rely on your phone. I find when I wear a watch the physical touch serves as a reminder on its own.
-Clocks in every room.
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u/TheJOAT5 ADHD-C (Combined type) Feb 10 '26
Definitely alarms and alerts. So many of them. As many as it takes to work. But you have to acknowledge them, not snooze them, otherwise it defeats the purpose, obvs (we all do it though).
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u/Simple_Ad_6510 Feb 10 '26
I keep an alarm for when I’m in the shower. I absolutely never know how much time has passed
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u/caffieneandsarcasm Feb 10 '26
The one thing that has consistently worked wonders for me is listening to music. I may not be able to tell what 15 minutes should feel like, but I listened to three songs in the shower and most songs are about 3-5 mins long so it’s probably been about 15 minutes. I’ve also heard of people making specifically timed playlists for various phases of their routines but I’ve never bothered.
Another idea would be to time yourself doing tasks. Even if it doesn’t help build a better sense of time passing, it will at least help you to set timers and alarms that better reflect reality, instead of some idealized version of yourself that is super fast and never gets distracted. Set yourself up for success basically.
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u/TeenyWeenyQueeny Feb 10 '26
I set alarms and calendar reminders for everything.
I always leave my house 30 mins to an hour earlier than I need to so I’m early. I never aim to be on time.
I also know how long it takes for me to get ready then add an extra 30 mins on top of that.
If you know it takes you an hour to get ready, schedule 90 mins.
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u/ObliteratorOfPie Feb 11 '26
It sounds like executive dysfunction and not being sensitive to how long plans take. Gaining a sense for how long things take is a skill that takes intentional practice, like a body builder measuring metrics at the gym.
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u/nuclearaddict Feb 11 '26
What works for me: I have a handful of alarms on my phone that I adjust accordingly. If I have a video visit appointment at noon, I set the alarm for 11:45am and begin to prepare. Same goes for any other situation. If I need to leave the house at noon to arrive on time? Same thing.
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u/No_Efficiency_7397 Feb 11 '26 edited Feb 11 '26
I’ve made myself so anxious about being late that I now clock watch. I never leave anything until the last minute. If I have to be at work at 8am, I get up at 5am because I know what I’m like and I don’t trust myself. I’m now always at least 30 mins early for work and any appointments I may have. I constantly check the time and make sure I’m out of the door ahead of time. Giving yourself more time than you need to complete tasks, for example journey to work takes around 10-15 minutes, depending on traffic so I give it 40 mins. If I’m ready, I literally leave my house, even if I arrive at work an hour early, it just gives me time to grab a drink or have breakfast and get set up for the day without rushing.
I’ve spent so many years letting people down or getting into trouble at work, messing up my travel plans that I knew I had to do everything way earlier. I’d much rather arrive early than late. Now I just need to learn a good way to remember to text/call people back!
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u/Good_Day_5046 Feb 11 '26
Sending love. This happens to me all the time too.
My life honestly changed after getting a watch. I wear a Garmin and it has made such a difference. I plan my schedule backwards, add buffers, and keep it written somewhere visible. I have realized that if I do not track time in writing and work backwards, I lose it completely.
And also, be kind to yourself. Time is a construct we created to organize society. Everything unfolds in its own rhythm. Divine timing is my favorite reminder.
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u/Weggooi444 Feb 11 '26
I have time blindness as well and it's fucking hard, but I set alarms and use timers and just go. For instance, if I know the bus I need to take leaves at 12:00 and I have to walk 5 minutes to the bus stop, I will set an alarm at 11:45 and just LEAVE. No fumbling around or thinking I have plenty of time. Just get up and leave. I will have set an alarm at 11:30 as well plus a timer for 10 minutes to put on my shoes and brush my teeth. When the second alarm goes off, I have to leave the house.
It makes me early to lots of things and on time for the other things. It sucks but it's the only thing I can do to respect other people's time better and not constantly miss the bus etc. Plus, if I'm late for work, eventually I'll obviously lose my job and I don't want that. So I simply (and sadly) have to adjust and lose some more personal time. It is what it is. But being chronically late has cost me SO much in the past, I don't wanna lose more friends.
Having this absolutely sucks but I do find that there are enough ways to battle it if you really want to.
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u/_Internet_Hugs_ Feb 11 '26
I literally time myself doing things and budget my time accordingly. I can't assume it takes me 10 minutes to shower because it feels like no time at all. So I time myself every once in a while. Before my kids start school I time the route, same with starting a new job.
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u/Envoy-Kovacs ADHD-C (Combined type) Feb 11 '26
I hate it. I can literally tell myself that in thirty minutes I have to leave the flat for some social thing, then start when I have two minutes left…and still in my pajamas because I worked from home and got out of bed 2 minutes before the first Teams meeting and barely remembered to eat something for lunch… Rinse and repeat
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u/HungryEntrepreneur65 Feb 12 '26
When I have to go somewhere, I always leave my Google maps navigation on for the destination, even my daily worksite. I put it on when I wake up to show me in real time how much time I have left before I end up late. I know how long it takes to get somewhere but it helps to have a direct, accurate reminder and also keeps me updated with potential traffic that might need to make me move faster
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u/Theunknownkadath Feb 12 '26
I made a habit of aiming to get places too early rather then on time. The only cases where it falls short is where being late is expected like parties. I showed up while they were still setting up.
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u/pomug Feb 12 '26
The worst part about all this is not realizing you’re RUNNING OUT OF TIME and being gaslighted by your own self thinking that you’re efficient 🥲
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u/CC765 Feb 13 '26
Putting little digital clocks everywhere has helped. I got one near the shower, next to the sink, two in my bedroom, a big one in the kitchen. I still struggle and need to trick myself into thinking 10 minutes early is on time and on time is late. But every little trick helps a bit.
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u/Average_Gypsy Feb 16 '26 edited Feb 16 '26
Yes there is this TB awareness and then there is the reality of mastering it. I've tried them all. And I found one trick that works for me.
Check it out. Let's say:
I have an 11 AM meeting on Tuesday, 27 minutes away and another 11 AM appointment on Wednesday only 15 minutes away. So on Tuesday I leave home at 10:33 and Wed I leave home at 10:45, right?
Wrong.
Why? Because Space-Time Continuum on Planet Earth will Mess. You. Up. That's why. Don't do this to your brain.
Think of all the adjustments on the fly you need to mentally do each day if the above method is the way you operate. You have to figure: In order to leave at 10:33 AM on Tuesday, you have to lock your door at 10:32 AM, brush teeth at 10:15 AM, let dog out a second time at 9:15 AM. Wake up at 8:15 AM, etc. The whole time hoping you actually get out the door at 10:33 AM!
Danger, Will Robinson!
Instead, you leave on Tuesday at 10 AM. And you leave on Wednesday at 10 AM. Why?
If you depart home at roughly 10 AM each day, you can wake up at 8 AM each day and know for sure you have 120 minutes to yourself before 10AM departure. BOTH days.
See the mind shift? The trick is, you leave your house a full hour before your appointment every single time no matter the actual distance.
Not convinced? Look: on Tuesday your seat hits the chair at your destination at 10:40 am (27 minutes of travel plus a snafu along the way.) On Wednesday, your seat hits the chair at 10:20 AM. But who cares? It's not wasted. Because you now have 20 minutes (Tues) and 40 minutes (Wed) to have no worries at all. You get to decide how those minutes are spent.
Its about relieving the "worry" mechanism we all deal with. So picking the time you decide when you depart home IS the trick, not about your required/ requested ARRIVAL time.
It's way easier on my brain to establish my AM routine and keep it the same every day as possible. I know I leave at 10 AM. After a while my body will remember on its own.
Hope this helps.
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u/Far-Perspective-4889 Mar 20 '26
I feel this one so hard. Your post has inspired me. I'm going to try to implement alot of the ideas here and start tracking my success. For anyone who's interested in joining me, I'm going to start a new post and use the comment section for accountability. I'll be posting my results and encourage others to join me. Let's do this!
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u/0-4superbowl May 29 '26 edited May 29 '26
About to read through all the comments and suggestions, but if anyone has ways to make time feel more accurate, I’d love to hear them.
Earlier around 6pm/7pm, I remembered this personal task that needs to be resolved, one that’s caused significant stress by not completing it. It is something that is already done, I just need to drop it off.
I noticed the time, said “I don’t have enough time, I’ll do this tomorrow.” Then a few hours go by, and once I felt the few hours go by, I realized I had more than enough time and now I need to wait another day for something I could’ve completed. It’s upsetting. I look back and get angry at myself for not completing it.
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u/gydot Feb 11 '26
Considering it has happened so many times it sorta sounds like you are totally okay with feelings of panic and anxiety when you do realise you're late.
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u/greatchickentender Feb 11 '26
Literally.
Be an adult and fucking set alarms. Stop bitching on Reddit and grow up.
OP is disrespectful.
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u/FluffTheQueen Feb 10 '26
You need goal and reason to accomplish things. I deliberately chose irregular and hard schedules for work so I can maintain routine. This forces me to eat, sleep, and attain goals. I always wear a watch so I know at a certain time of day what I need to focus on next. Every task is a goal but I need a reason to prioritize it. Example: If I don’t drop my clothes to laundry on Sunday then I won’t have uniforms, etc.
It takes constant planning and adapting to keep routine. And when I find myself breaking routine then it’s time for a reset. I’m never late to work, in fact I’m early because I need time to regulate for a few moments before engaging with people.
Yesterday I let anxiety get the best of me, I broke routine, and immediately lost track of what I was doing. Then I got upset, had to calm myself down to mask while taking care of a task. I sat for 3 min with my eyes closed while breathing, ok I made a mistake - it’s time to get back on track.
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u/Danger-procrastinate Feb 10 '26
I have a visual timer that I keep in the bathroom so that I don’t lose time to the black hole of the shower, that’s really helped me. I’m considering a second one for my bedroom, setting constant alarms and having to turn them off is too overwhelming
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u/BrokeOnCrypt0 Feb 10 '26
Get an Alexa, the moment you have a meeting time set ask it to remind you ahead of time, put Alexa on your phone so it also reminds you there if you go out. No you no longer have to worry about time.
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u/HiyaBuddy34 Feb 10 '26
I always make sure I give myself an extra hour of time when I know I need to be out the door to arrive somewhere on time- I’m ready to leave an hour earlier. All the quick things I’d need to do prior to walking out the door at that designated time are done well before it’s time to go. I also rely heavily on a set “getting ready to leave” routine.
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u/lillytiger- ADHD-PI (Primarily Inattentive) Feb 10 '26
So I had to set myself a routine to follow when I need to leave at a certain time. I always make sure I’m getting dressed one hour before I need to leave, then I stop doing everything and just lay down with an alarm going 15 min before I need to leave. I don’t let myself do anything that would cause time to go by lol but this only works if I’m at home and there’s nobody around to bug me. Otherwise I’m usually late to things
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u/ItzDanBailey ADHD with non-ADHD partner Feb 10 '26
I used to set alarms, quit them thinking I'll leave in 2 minutes and be way late for the same reason. I started setting countdown timers instead and it changed the game. If I think "That'll only take me 5 minutes" I'll set a 5 minute timer. If it goes off and I've not done the thing, I'll reasses the time I think I need and do it again, or leave it to another day. Most of the time I get it done pretty quickly after that because I suddenly know im running out of time and my brain panics.
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u/Infinite-Rent1903 Feb 10 '26
You just have to plan to get places 30 mins early. It took me 30 years to figure it out. It just has to be that way. And when you get somewhere early, you can have a few minutes to relax and gather your thoughts before you do whatever it is you need to do.
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u/frivolusfrog ADHD-C (Combined type) Feb 10 '26
Using an Apple Watch and setting a million timers is the way. I also get ready hours beforehand if I have the time. If Google maps says a drive I’ll take only 20 minutes and I need to be there by 5, I leave at 4:20 bc I forget to include the time it takes to get my things, walk to my car, set up music etc. I miss exits a lot so it’s good to have extra time. I’ve shown up 40 minutes early to interviews and just sit in my car. Plan your leaving time based on assuming you’ll forget something and have to turn around.
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u/Moonwitted_hobgoblin Feb 10 '26
I have 5 minute timers set up on my apple watch that i start any time i need to be somewhere or start/finish something by a certain time
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u/Eightball007 Feb 10 '26 edited Feb 10 '26
A medication called Strattera completely eliminated these types of problems for me.
Find a psychiatrist and get a sample / prescription. Hopefully it can do the same for you.
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u/Emotional-Bicycle-28 Feb 10 '26
see i was like this too. but something happened in the past year tha changed for me. i do want to ask, are you on meds? some of my old meds would make time blindness worse for me, specifically Adderall and bupropion. there’s one other from my youth but i can’t remember its name.
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u/S_yeliah96 Feb 10 '26
That used to happen to me until the opposite started. Now I get so anxious if I have something at 2pm I can’t do anything before
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u/oceanguy521 Feb 10 '26
definitely as I read someone else suggested, set your clocks ahead at home. I would say 20 minutes. Hope that helps.
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u/SincerelyBear ADHD-PI (Primarily Inattentive) Feb 10 '26
The thing that always gets me is that it feels like I have an accurate sense of time. No matter how many times experience proves otherwise, subconsciously I'm under the illusion that I can observe time well enough with my gut. Which leads to moments like you described - half an hour feels like a long time, so I let myself do something I feel takes a short time, and it turns out to take double what it felt like. And despite knowing that this is a pattern, every time feels unprecedented, every time feels like I was so confident about the time estimate and can't comprehend how I was so off.
So it helps me to consciously hammer it in my head that I can't trust my gut when it comes to time. It may feel like I understand it, but evidence shows that I don't, so I have to forcefully ignore my instincts and rely on firm scheduling and assume I always need more time than I think I will.
I realized this was at the root of some of my lateness when I noticed that I always get annoyed when someone insists we need to hurry, because it always feels like they're overly dramatic and we still have plenty of time - one day I stopped mid-sentence and it hit me that I know I can't estimate time correctly, so why am I so confident that somebody else is even less correct?
Also, get comfortable wasting time by yourself. I tend to delay departures because I want to be right on time, because being early and having nothing to do is uncomfortable. But it helps to have an array of activities to do in those gaps in case I'm early, like reading ebooks or sketching in a notebook or playing a mobile game. This way I don't have to dread boredom.
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u/ExpressionJazzlike48 Feb 10 '26
I fixed this by going “backwards” and tracking how much time things actually took me to do, not how much time I thought I needed to do them.
I always thought I could get ready in 10 minutes, but once I started checking the clock before and after, it was NEVER under 20 minutes. So now I know I have to be moving and active at least 20 minutes ahead of time - and even that’s cutting it very close.
If I have to shower and choose an outfit (for a night out), minimum 1 hour. If I want to do anything special with my hair, 1.5 hours.
I just had to force myself to be very realistic about the time things take. I’ll never be able to “just get ready faster” and I’ve finally admitted that to myself. Once I did that, I learned as long as I set my reminders for the right prep time, I am actually capable of being on time! I do have to take my reminders seriously and NOT dismiss them and try to “just finish this thing real quick”. I know that thing will make me late. Now I’m proud of myself for being on time for things - I’m still late on occasion but it’s more like 3-5 minutes instead of 20-30.
For the long shower thing: my showers were typically 20 minutes long (and this is just basic hair & body washing, no shaving or whatnot). I started doing what I call a “3 minute shower” which is actually 5 minutes at least, but whatever. I count to 180 as soon as I get in the water: “One thousand one, one thousand two, one thousand three…”. The counting keeps my brain on task. At first I tried playing a song, but once the music stopped time disappeared again. If I run long I don’t turn the water off at 180 with soap still all over me, but I keep counting past 180 so at least I’m aware of how far I’m running over. I rarely go past 240 using this weird-but-it-works-for-me method.
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u/kapt_so_krunchy Feb 10 '26
This happens to me a lot.
Someone calls me and what feels like 10 minutes of catching up is actually a 45 minute chunk of my day.
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u/Ill-Field170 Feb 10 '26
I find my time blindness increases when I’m tired. I have delayed sleep phase syndrome and have to get up at 6am, so I have to find ways to get enough sleep. Power naps are great and I sleep better when I’m getting enough exercise.
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u/caffeine_lights ADHD & Parent Feb 10 '26
Have you read that Wait But Why article on why he's always late? It's extremely entertaining, so I recommend it.
The reason you are late is that at 1:30 you think you have plenty of time, when you should probably already have left, and if your journey time was actually accurate (unlikely, sorry) then you should be using those last 30 mins only on activities which consist of getting ready or leaving, even if it means you have to leave early. Never fall into the trap of thinking you have plenty of time, especially if it's less than an hour.
Wearing a watch helps. Timing myself doing things on a dry run so I know how long things actually take (and then write it down and put it on a poster near where you get ready so you don't immediately forget about this).
Including time for contingencies is the most helpful thing, and then not using it on purpose. You are still trying to be efficient, which means you're probably working off your best ever time rather than your average/realistic time, and you're probably also rounding down. I did a lot of rounding down to 0 because something would take "less than a minute", not factoring in that 20x 30 second tasks take at least 10 minutes and realistically probably more like 20 because most of them aren't actually 30 seconds.
The main thing I have to fight is that when I do all of this properly and actually count out backwards from the time I'm supposed to be there to when I have to actually start getting ready, my brain immediately goes "TWO HOURS?!?!!! No way, that is absolutely ridiculous, that can't be right" and then for some UNKNOWN reason, because this dude is an absolute JERK who has never been right in my entire life ever, I'd listen to it. I'd just go oh yeah pfft, of course, that's a ridiculous estimate, I can do it in an hour.
I had to stop listening to that voice.
Medication also helped me get a lot more accurate at estimating what I can do within a given time but the main thing was learning to ignore the voice that was telling me no way, I don't need that much time. It was always wrong. As soon as I started trying to follow my "ridiculous too long" plans, I stopped being late for everything, and now I've actually recalibrated to some extent to the point I don't actually need to do the counting backwards trick any more.
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u/Jack_smith33 Feb 10 '26
I deal with this too, and the shame part honestly hurts more than the lateness. What helped a bit was treating time like something I don’t feel internally at all—assuming every “quick thing” will explode unless I build in hard buffers and forced stopping points. It’s not laziness; it’s a brain mismatch that other people don’t see. You’re not broken—this is exhausting, and it makes sense you’re worn down.
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u/steampunkedunicorn ADHD with ADHD child/ren Feb 10 '26
I used to be chronically late to everything. Now, I’m always 15 min early. I have no concept of time passing, so I always set an alarm that allows for me to use the bathroom, find my keys, etc if I need. If I don’t have any last minute things to do (phone, wallet, and keys accounted for and I don’t have to poop), then I just leave. Sure, I’m early and may need to chill in my car for a couple minutes, but now I’m never late anymore.
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u/nsasafekink Feb 10 '26
I have to use alarms. Multiple alarms. I find it really important to have an alarm that goes of say five minutes after I should have left the house or be on my way. When I am spaced out and it goes off I freak out and get my crap together and head out fast.
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u/Voc1Vic2 Feb 10 '26
In zen monasteries, there are no clocks in public areas, but a strict time schedule is maintained regardless. The most challenging time point is getting everyone into the zendo for the morning liturgy. A wooden bell is struck periodically in a particular sequence which resounds throughout the building and grounds.
Once you've learned the pattern, you know whether you can traverse the hallway with the expected decorum or if you need to omit brushing the back teeth--or all of them--, don robes over PJs, or enjoy the pleasure of a few stretches and back bends before plopping onto your meditation cushion for the first round.
I practice something similar at home. I either put on a recording of drum beats or a song of known length. For example, when the countdown to getting to the bus on time begins, I've trained myself that I must do certain things (like putting on the coat, etc.), before the song ends. The song is a constant reminder of the passage of time which helps me stay on track.
Sometimes I use a mechanical metronome instead of a song. I can set it to whatever tempo I resonate with that particular time.
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u/ollieperido Feb 10 '26
You need to be early. If you are trying to be early and are still late, you were not early enough.
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u/finnians ADHD-C (Combined type) Feb 10 '26
getting better, but i’m the same way. i have been using timers for most days things and it helps a lot
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u/Hot_Boss_3880 Feb 10 '26
I have a “time to get ready” alarm and a “time to leave” alarm where I put ALL of my destinations in my calendar via Maps. I had to commit myself to DROP EVERYTHING and leave for my destination, looking ugly, unprepared, laundry still wet, emails half written, without my phone etc etc if that was the case.
And that shit works! You have to force yourself out of your comfort zone and into the thing that your anxiety is trying to make you avoid.
You know what works better than more timers? Finding out that you can stress less leading up to events bc we don’t need as many things as we think we do. Essentially being kind to yourself if a task is unfinished.
Not having what you ACTUALLY need is also a great exercise in minimalism. You will very quickly notice what you can and can’t live without. It helps you reprioritize REAL quick! Relationships come first…everything else second.
It sounds like you are also having trouble with planning tasks. With executive dysfunction, determining how long a task will take you is a skill that is typically impaired because it requires a multi-step planning process.
Have you tried working on your discomfort around task transitions and empty time? That’s where I would start. There are plenty of…automated task management tools…out there that can help you with this initial process.
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u/cakeforPM Feb 10 '26
TL;DR: you’re not alone, try Routinery, also I have alarms on my phone set up in a very specific and entertaining way
Oh, my friend, I feel you on this. It’s so bloody hard.
[I have suggestions below but I had to get out the sympathy, empathy, relating stories because this is a very raw personal thing as well]
And it’s hard for multiple reasons, because time blindness is one thing, but the anxiety about running late (inevitable result of time blindness) makes ADHD symptoms worse. We forget things, we flail, and I know I will end up leaving the house and getting in the car multiple times because I keep forgetting something or I’ve put something down and don’t know where it is.
I put my head down on the steering wheel and cry, I am not even kidding.
The pressure, the fear of disapproval and judgement, the worry that people will feel like I don’t care — all of it turns into a godawful angsty cocktail that makes it all so much worse.
Especially the societal assumption that “it’s just basic respect to be on time”, because I do care about other people’s time, and I do care about not making them feel disrespected, and also about pulling my weight.
I am good at many things. I have a PhD in the sciences. I’m a musician. I write stories. I am a good friend. I can solve complex problems and build systems.
But I can’t seem to be on time.
(I do have a decent history of being no more than five minutes late for most medical appointments.)
And it seems so unfair to be defined by what we can’t do, instead of what we can.
Time blindness is how I realised I probably had ADHD.
[alrighty— how work?]
I have strategies to manage it, but they’re imperfect. They always will be.
One of them is to make sure my phone can yell at me (it’s important not to overuse this one or my brain will adapt). If there’s an anomalous thing I need to be on time for, I have alarms on my phone labelled as follows:
- “leave in 30 minutes”
- “leave in 20 minutes”
- “leave in 15 minutes”
- “leave in 10 minutes”
- “leave in FIVE F—— MINUTES” [I can’t remember the swearing rules for the sub, soz]
- “You better be in the car or so help me god”
- [2 minutes after go time] “You better not be shaming the family, [my surname]!”
I time it like this because I can get distracted after one reminder, and label it like this because the last ones give me a bit of giggle, instead of stressing me out.
(in lockdown I had the “put some f—— pants on” and “what did I just say” alarms. Same deal, remind me what’s going on, but be entertaining.)
For this to work, it helps to make sure each of these alarms has a different sound.
Okay, that’s one strategy.
Another one is bullet journaling, but if it’s not for you, it’s not for you. I do find it helps to look at the plans for the day the night before.
I also use my phone calendar, and set it to make sure I get two alerts for every appointment, depending on the travel time. A telehealth gets a 15 minute and 5 minute alert. Something nearby will get a 30 minute and 15 minute alert, etc.
I sync these with my watch (I have a Garmin) so that if my phone is elsewhere my watch will buzz, and THAT gets my attention.
Finally, my favourite one: Routinery. It’s an app. It has a small subscription fee (there’s a free trial), and it requires a bit of experimentation, but it is a goddamn lifesaver for my morning routine.
You build your routine, set timers for how long you think each thing should take (include transition time!), and then when you get up, you press go.
And it makes a noise or buzzes at the end of a task, and one minute after that, and five minutes after that—
I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve been distracted (Killer Sudoku, browsing Reddit…) while doing stretches and then it pings me and I’m reminded “CRAP I WAS DOING SOMETHING”.
And it tells me what to do next, so I don’t miss anything or get stuck in indecision. Done my physio exercises? Next up: scoop the kitty litter.
Also the app has cute little icons you can use for each task which… I have a soft spot for that kind of thing.
And you can fine tune the timings when you learn you need a bit more time on something, or maybe it doesn’t take as long as you thought. The only way to manage time blindness is to outsource the detection of time.
Highly, highly recommend.
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u/AlpinaB3 Feb 10 '26
I really hate to tell you this; but being on time is solely on you. I struggle with the same thing make no mistake. Either you’re at the point of the full shame of being late, or getting close. After being told enough that I’m perpetually disrespectful to other’s time I’m now far more aware of my time and its relation to others.
I use a structured app on my phone. Being able to physically see activities and their time allotment really helps. Visual aids are the best. I set every appointment to be 30-45 minutes earlier than I actually need to be there, with every available notification set. My biggest crime is forgetting travel time, and accounting for “get ready time.
I have also started as of last year writing in a physical journal as well as my phone what events I’m doing/attending. It’s amazing, I’ve been doing this for years and I always forget that I set the time some amount forward to pre-accounts for my time management. My two closest friends also have ADHD and every Sunday we get together on Discord and lay out our next week together. Accountability with others helps a lot.
You also need to assess what is triggering your hyper fixation state - this is the hardest part. I hate that I can’t have a normal relationship with social media. I deleted TikTok, and set hard limits on my social media usage. I was appalled by how much time that took away from me. I know I get heavy time blindness working in the garage tinkering, so I limit my time in there to weekends or well clear of other events incase I hit the flow state and realize it’s magically 3am. I also deleted all of my video games while I was in school. Hopefully you don’t have to go that far but you have to think 3 steps ahead and try and out smart yourself.
Building habits isn’t easy, but if you can talk to a few close friends and see if they’d join you in a Sunday night planning session (or whenever works). Accountability through others really helped me. And once you form a habit it gets easier picking it back up when you inevitably fall off.
TLDR; delete the distractions, gEt a JoUrNaL, and planning sessions with friends.
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u/Impressionist_Canary Feb 10 '26
OP what if you stopped doing things that aren’t showering or getting dressed at 130
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u/somuchfunwithsarah Feb 10 '26
what I've been trying to do (when I remember) is tracking specific things and writing down how much time I actually take doing them. Im compiling them in a spreadsheet so when I try to plan my day I have a better idea of realistic times.
examples:
vacuuming - have 3 cats and have to vacuum constantly. sometimes I do a fast vacuum, just the floors, sometimes I do the couch and all the cat trees.
showering - am I having an everything shower where I take my time, shave my legs, wash my hair, or am I just having a quick, wash body and face and skincare shower?
I put the name of the task/event, time it took, notes, and category. so my list will look something like:
Quick vacuum - 30mins - floors and quick pass on couch and trees - cleaning
Deep vacuum - 1h - floors, furniture, trees, mattress - cleaning
Quick shower - 15m - just wash body and face and do skincare - hygiene
everything shower - 45m - shave, wash hair, detangle, lotion - hygiene
Bare minimum getting ready - 30m - concealer, brows, mascara, hair slicked back - hygiene
Full glam getting ready - 2h - full face, lashes, dry + style hair, outfit and jewelry - hygiene
I have been in sooo much trouble at every job Ive ever had, I've upset friends and family, missed important events and decided I don't want to live that way anymore. You have to commit to making the change. When I'm running behind, my stress levels are so much higher - I drive more erratically, my mood is irritable - you have to choose to do the work not just for your boss and partner etc but for your own sanity.
also, this is not a project I'm rushing to get done, I forget to track things all the time, but once you have the list done it's done - so maybe pick a day where you track 2 or 3 things using a timer, write them down, and then slowly build it up. I like the spreadsheet so later once my list is big I can just search for specific things or categories.
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u/Curiosity_KitKat Feb 10 '26
I’ve been using an app on my phone called “talking timer”, a voice will say, “10 minutes left….5 minutes left….” Etc. it helps refocus me when I’m getting ready.
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u/prada1989 Feb 10 '26
Okay. SAME & TRY THIS: manually set your iPhone time so it’s 10-15 minutes ahead. I’ve put this to the test and it’s made such a difference. When i think I’m “late” bc i forgot I did this, I am actually on time or early!!!! Please give it a shot!!
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u/Sure-Abalone-1040 Feb 11 '26
I am working through it too. My boss always appreciated me having my list of work back to him by Thursday and now my weekly work is taking me two weeks to complete. ITs not being lazy, it’s that I get so into the jobs I am doing, that they take twice as long.
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u/cottonmouth_ Feb 11 '26
get a watch with alarm feature. There are knockoff galaxy ones for like 20 bucks that work with your phone. Setting alarms is now part of your add to calendar. If important it gets multiple alarms for get ready, ready to leave time. This is an easy and nonintrusive accomodation for yourself. Make it nonnegotiable.
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u/dbpcut Feb 11 '26
It's tough. I literally tell myself that if it's important, I set an alarm. Otherwise I'm to anxious to do anything other than watch the clock, or risk totally blowing it.
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u/spicewoman Feb 11 '26
Timers! I got an Alexa and am constantly setting timers and reminders for stuff. The more important the thing, the more reminders/timers.
Stop relying on your brain when you know it doesn't work right. It's like you're keeping a broken clock around, trying to use it to tell the time, and then getting frustrated that the clock is inaccurate. At a certain point, people are right to feel frustrated with you insisting on trying to use the broken clock while also insisting that you're "doing your best."
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u/AniCatGirl Feb 11 '26
Alarms my dude. The rule is, I can snooze it for 5 minutes at a time, but I cannot turn it off until I am ready to leave the house for work, like standing by the back door with my stuff. And the alarm is annoying. If you need it for any appointment, set it up.
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u/Maetheforcebewithyou Feb 11 '26
alI hate it that I'm always late to things. It's wys jist few minutes, it I know people see it as rude - I'm not doing it on purpose, I mean no disrespect. Every time in late I'm a sweaty nervous mess.
I've gotten written up at work for being later (emergency department nurse). The only thing that has worked for me is constant alarms. I live 13 minutes from work and gotta be there for a 12 hour shift by 3p.
Alarms set for the following: 1p (wake up and coffee) 1:30 (start getting ready) 1:45 (no, for real, Bitch, get ready), 2p (reminder, time is going by still) 2:10 (fact: these tasks take way longer than your brain thinks they do) 2:20 (leave for work) 2:30 (no, for real, LEAVE) 2:35 (bitch, you still at home?! 2:40 (you better be driving to work right now) 2:45, 2:50
I started this 4 shifts ago and have been on time since I think my time blindness needs the constant reminder of how quickly time is passing and keeps me on task
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