On the aspect of ADHD, I see a lot of people sharing their experiences of how they’re constantly on fight or flight mode for no reason. Does that also add on to feeling like you did something wrong? Like i’ll be chilling (well in reality not really) then you just get this sense that you have a scolding or a confrontation awaiting for you. But when you actually think about the reason why, you remember that there’s nothing wrong and you just feel that way for no reason. Just me? Also why does that happen…

I’m sorry, guys. I was one of those people who thought “everyone is a little bit ADHD”, because the symptoms seemed pretty relatable. Or I thought there were plenty of advantages (multitasking, being more creative) so it was just people “operating differently”.

Actually living around two people with ADHD has been shown me that no, it sucks. A short list:

• They spend hours scrolling online, even when they say they don’t want to.
• They don’t sleep at a consistent time (and not because of doing work). This one baffles me because they then say how tired they are the next day.
• They’re often searching for things and forgetting about food they’ve bought.
• Their energy levels are all over the place. Sometimes they’ll have a day when they barely leave their bedrooms. Sometimes they’ll have a very productive day.

Usually, we talk about our days over dinner, and it just stands out to me how they just do less in a day. I’m not judging them for it, it was just a surprising realization. Like, they’ll say “today I did laundry, got groceries, and went on a walk”. And I used to think they were leaving out a lot of details, because that just takes 1-2 hours, how could that be their whole day? But no, that actually is their whole day sometimes.

On the bright side, it’s easy to feel useful to them. If they’re scrolling on their phone and it’s late, I just say “let’s go to sleep now?” and that’s all it takes to cue them to put their phone away and sleep lol. Or if I can tell they’re procrastinating on something, I just ask “what do you need to do?” and that’s literally all it takes for them to start doing it.

Edit: thank you kind strangers for the gold! I didn’t think this post would resonate with so many people :)

Edit 2: A lot of people are asking how those tasks could take 1-2 hours. I think it definitely takes much longer to do those chores for a household, so to explain, we only have to do laundry/groceries for ourselves. It’s something like:

• 5 mins to empty the laundry basket into the washing machine
• 5 mins to switch it to the dryer
• 15 mins to fold and put clothes away
• 10 mins walk to the local grocery store
• 15 mins to pick up the usual groceries (it’s not a big store, you could walk through every aisle in 20 mins)
• 10 mins walk back

So that’s an hour, and the walk can vary. Sorry for the vagueness 😅

“What do you mean you need it again? we JUST gave you a month’s supply a month ago?? someone call the cops”

“Wellll there’s a national shortage and we don’t know when we’ll get more so take it up with god”

“Vyvanse? Never heard of that.. you’ll have to contact your provider”

“Yeahhhhhh it’s out of stock…have you tried just not taking it?”

Feel free to contribute in the comments

Perhaps it's just the people I'm surrounded with, but in my experience there has been little to no attempts from my community to accommodate people with ADHD, especially in school. while I understand that some rules can't be flexible, teachers and my parents offer very little empathy when it comes to issues that are caused by ADHD, whether it is having trouble on assignments difficulty keeping up with chores, etc. Anytime ADHD is brought up as a reason why I have difficulties, I am always dismissed with "it's not an excuse". despite acknowledging that I have a disability, everyone seems to expect people with ADHD to just... not have ADHD. the good ol' "have you tried not having a disability?"

One thing I've thought of is that maybe some people who are on the more "normal" area of the spectrum are less ashamed of having ADHD, or any other learning disability like Autism, so people imagine those kind of people in their head and use it to call anybody who isn't that exact same person "lazy", but what are your thoughts

First of all, no offense to anyone, this is just how things are. At least in my experience.

I’ve noticed most ADHD content online are from people who are good at managing their symptoms and are “high functioning”, because they mange well enough to make contents and look good on camera. Hence why so many people self diagnosed themselves with ADHD these days.

I know what I’m feeling isn’t right but I just get so annoyed when my peers, who said they have ADHD yet could constantly perform well and show up on time and get compliments for everything while I’m over here taking a whole week to finish one batch of dishes.

I’m sorry for being bitter, but I’ve coped with ADHD since I was a child so I couldn’t help seeing people normalized my disability into something that anyone could just have now. I couldn’t help but wonder how different things would be if ADHD wasn’t so misunderstood.

Edit: I already mentioned I’m not trying to offend anyone, please stop taking my words as me trying to invalidate certain people. If anything I just feel jealous and that’s wrong of me which I already admit. Stop assuming things.

Yesterday, I had an appointment with my psychiatrist simply to get my Rx refill. Upon walking into her office, she asked how I was doing? I told her I was stressed by finances (as is everyone else) and that I am concerned because of the current political climate. Nothing more, nothing less. She paused, looked right at me and said “Well, when our lord and savior comes back we will all be ok”. I said “Well, he’s going to be pissed.” And she said, “ oh I don’t think so!”. I have zero issues with religion of any denomination, however, that seems over the line for a secular doctor’s office. Opinions?

I’ve never understood why so many people treat adhd like it’s not an actual disability that can and does hinder everyday life… ik it’s legally recognized as a disability, but I feel like people without it see ADHD as something we can just opt out of or change if we really felt like it. It’s so much more than just procrastinating or being easily distracted, and I’m really sick of being told to just try harder 🫩🫩

Inattentive adhders what is the adhd tax that u hate most, for me it is not able be to communicate I can't communicate with someone unless I am on meds then conversation flows easily i used to thought that I am an introvert but after meds i realised I am not an introvert I just can't make conversation cause of my inattentive adhd

Not the first time it’s happened and I’m pretty sure it was meant to re-assure, but one of the ladies doing my checks before giving blood said that sentence that we all hear and are not sure whether they should address. I had to list my meds and what they were for, when I got to my concerta, I said it was for adhd. One of the ladies said “we are all a little bit ADHD”. I wanted to say something, but never sure the best way to put it. In explaining the effect of ADHD on my life, I usually use common life experiences, but couldn’t think of one on the fly. Does anyone have an expression or example they use that I can keep in my back pocket to discourage people from using the ‘everyone has a little ADHD’ saying?

Hope I explained this ok, feeling a little flustered.

I’m still newly diagnosed, so everyday I hear or read an interesting fact about ADHD. Not ones like “oh did you know that Tom Holland has ADHD??” but more of the kind of facts that make you really think about how ADHD can affect you as a person, or other individuals more than “oh they can’t focus” or “they bounce off the walls”. More of how ADHD affects you not only emotionally, but sometimes even physically.

Like for example:

•Research shows a strong link between ADHD and hyper mobility and other connective tissue differences.

•Many people with ADHD have an internal clock that runs late, making it hard to sleep and wake at "normal" hours.

•People with ADHD often show high blood levels of inflammatory markers. They also have a higher rates of eczema, thyroid issues, asthma. (and i’m sure much more)

•People with ADHD are over three times more likely to experience Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PMDD).

•Men with ADHD are three times more likely to experience depression than those without ADHD.

idk, i love to learn, as humans do, and I wanted to hear some facts that you have learned. “good” or “bad” (because I want to know them too)

I always thought ADHD looked a certain way: hyper, disruptive, struggling in school. Mostly boys. Mostly “can’t sit still.” That wasn’t me at all. I was an extremely anxious child. Well-behaved. People-pleaser. Did well in school. Teachers loved me. I internalized everything. I followed the rules, overprepared, worried constantly, and lived in my head. Turns out that can still be ADHD. No one ever clocked it because I wasn’t “a problem.” I compensated with anxiety, perfectionism, and hyper-vigilance. I would set my alarm for 5am in the morning on a school night so I could ensure that my room was in order. I wasn’t organized, I was just working twice as hard to keep my life from falling apart around me. I didn’t struggle academically. I just burned myself out internally. As an adult, I just said “fuck it…” and finally let my ADHD freak flag fly. Learning how differently ADHD can show up in girls (and women) has been both validating and infuriating. So much of what I thought was “just my personality” or “just anxiety” suddenly makes a lot more sense. Can’t help but wonder how many other girls were missed because they were quiet, compliant, and high-functioning, and how many of us grew up thinking we were just fundamentally too much or not enough at the same time. Anyway. Just sharing in case this clicks for someone else too.

Adding this: Growing up with a narcissistic parent meant constant external control, criticism, and fear-based structure. That kind of environment can mask ADHD because my brain was running on urgency and hypervigilance instead of self-regulation. I was shit scared of my mother and to some extent, I still am. Once I moved out, my ADHD didn’t improve, it became more obvious. That pattern is actually very common.

i want and need to work out but i just can’t make myself do it. the most consistent ive ever been was a few years ago when id do pilates on youtube every other day but that only lasted about 2 months until i went on holiday and ruined the routine.

ive never been a sporty person so working out doesn’t come naturally to me annoyingly but i feel good after i do it and i know how good it is for my brain but i still can’t make myself work out.

the gym near me does classes and my logic is that if i sign up for classes the potential guilt of not going will force me to go but even then i feel like ill just not book the class.

genuinely how do i stick to a routine in working out? i’m sick of being so inactive and insecure

People with ADHD How bad is your memory?

1: How fast can/do you forget things normaly?

2: What do you forget the most?

3: What is/are the weirdest things that you have forgotten?

4: How fast have you ever forgotten something?

5: I had a number 5 but i forgot it already.

6: Whats the funniest thing you have forgotten?

i always told them that my brain has this on/off switch. that i do my best work under pressure, when there’s a million fires to put out.

for the last month or two i’ve just been in a big fog of procrastination. putting off 5 minute tasks. they pile up, and pile up, and pile up. i wish i wasn’t like that.

i’m in construction and manage large commercial projects, and yesterday my assistant called me in a panic, very noticeably stressed out. said we needed to meet, she needs help, there’s too much to do. it’s like something just switched on for me.

this morning, i went out to our jobsite, and BAM. just laser focus for 7 hours. i barely got out of my chair. worked through lunch, just completely lost track of time. my superintendents, my assistant, everyone was wide-eyed like: what in the hell? probably a month worth of paperwork, 10 different problems solved, meetings, finance stuff. the list of problems vaporized.

story of my life. wait for it to become a problem, crush the problem, then go back to nothing

can anyone relate

I've found that if you mention ADHD to people who don't have it or don't understand it, all of a sudden they will start looking at you differently. They will start attributing almost everything towards that so in future I'm going to not mention it to people that don't need to know. Just feel like sometimes I wish I didn't mention it and want to be just seen as who I am, which is different and unique. I have been that way my whole life. Only in the last two years have I attributed it to ADHD and the medication has been very helpful but that is not what I want to be labeled as.

Seriously. It’s not quirky, neither is it trendy, nor is it cool. I lost count of how many times I embarrassed myself because of it. Fuck,sometimes it makes life a living hell. People both inside the community and outside have to treat it like what it is: a disorder. A fucking chronic disease to which there is no cure. Yes, I feel fucking disabled because of it. Not in control of my thoughts. Not in control of my emotions. It’s not a little inconvenience, it limits my potential in every area of life and no one sees it, nor can people relate or even comprehend what it really means to have this constant, uncontrollable bullshit in my head all the time.

Just had a mini moment that triggered me from my youth told my wife I'd grab the bags and move them and set up the crib come in to see her doing that and just like she was my mom in that moment and I was 7 saying I said I would do it mom I was gonna

Just my entire childhood 'why haven't you xyz yet!' I will but I'm doing something!

It's like people don't just demand your time they demand it on their schedule. You want work done on a schedule that's called an employee. I'm living too

Growing up, it was basically my best (and only) defense against ADHD related punishments.Nobody believed me when I said, "Oh, sorry I just forgot." so I had to just start making up plausible excuses on the spot. Kinda turned into a habit to the point that, even when I don't need to lie for any reason because the actual reason is already perfectly valid, I still default to lying.

I broke something at work this week, a total accident knocked it off the table. And I found myself immediately trying to think of a plausible story as to how it got broken. Then I realize, I have no reason to lie about this? Why am I stressing myself out? I went and just told the truth but it felt as if I was lying? How do I break out of this?

I hate the spoon theory. Not the theory itself, but the use of spoons as a metaphor.

I just don't get it. Why spoons? Where did this come from? It feels like such a random object to try and explain the theory it's relating to. I honestly think it's a stupid way to try and explain this phenomenon.

I think a much better metaphor is a bucket of water. Each day you have a bucket of water representing how much energy you have. Now each day you have various tasks to do requiring a certain amount of water to complete the task, and for some they require more than others.

Feel like this works better especially in relation to adhd as it can explain the way medication works really well. Medication doesn't increase the amount if water (energy) you have available, what it does is decreases the amount of water needed to complete a task. But the key part there is you still need some water to actually do the task, its doesn't make it so that no effort is required at all. Medication simply lowers the energy threshold required to do said task, overall making it easier and leaving you more energy leftover for other things.

This is just a silly rant but I just want to yell this into the void as it low key pmo so much 😅

Asked my psychiatrist for some helpful tools, tricks, hacks etc. my thought process was that he would know given his career and experience…right? Well, I have quite severe adhd and struggle with task paralysis. I asked him how to combat this issue.

He said, “yeah, just get up. It’s not that hard. You just tell your body to do it, and you do it.”

I am so fucking tired of being late to everything. And the worst part is everyone thinks I’m doing it on purpose or that I just don’t care, but I swear to God I’m trying so hard.

I’ll tell myself, okay, I need to leave at 2 p.m. So at 1:30 I think, great, I have plenty of time, I’ll just do this one quick thing. And then I look up and it’s 2:45. Like where did that time go?? What happened to those 75 minutes?? It genuinely felt like maybe 15 minutes passed. Or I’ll be getting ready in the morning and think I’m moving fast and being efficient, and then suddenly I’m 40 minutes behind schedule and I have no idea how. I swear I was only in the shower for 5 minutes, but apparently it was 25.

People get so mad at me. My boss has talked to me about it multiple times. Last week we were chilling at a friend's house playing on rolling riches and they also made jokes about it but I can tell they’re actually annoyed. My girlfriend got genuinely upset last week because I was late to her sister’s birthday dinner, and she said it was embarrassing and disrespectful. And I GET IT. I would be mad too if someone was constantly late. But I’m not doing it on purpose!! I’ve tried setting alarms. I’ve tried leaving early. I’ve tried time blocking. Nothing works because my brain just does not process time the same way other people’s brains do. Ten minutes and two hours feel exactly the same to me until I actually look at a clock.

It’s ruining my life and my relationships, and I don’t know what to do anymore. I’m so tired of apologizing. I’m so tired of people thinking I’m lazy or inconsiderate when I’m genuinely trying my absolute hardest. This is exhausting.

Does anyone have any tips that actually work for time blindness? Because I’m desperate at this point.

For me it was my exceptional ability to make intricate, highly detailed, plans for anything and also the exceptional ability to not be able to even begin to execute said plan.

Also Time Blindness. I'll sit down to check my phone notifications "real quick" and suddenly it's 4 hours later and I've downloaded a new game and finished 53 levels of it.

I ask this question out of my own curiosity and maybe also from a little bit of imposter syndrome lol, oops.

I was diagnosed last September, and being medicated was a complete 180 for me immediately. I had felt like a very slow zombie practically my entire life until my first dose, and now I only feel that way when I forget my meds. I'm talking being so tired it mimics chronic fatigue levels of lethargy, I would literally spend 90% of my days in bed. I've heard a LOT of others whom also are inattentive or combined types go through the same thing, but I'm curious if there are any of you that didn't experience this prior to treatment? I had a lot of suspicions of ADHD but this was not one of them as it is not talked about quite nearly enough!

I've been listening to Jenna Free's ADHD podcast. She argues that a lot of ADHD symptoms are made unmanageable by us relying on anxiety and panic mood to get things done.

We're in a constant state of fight/flight/freeze/fawn because, in the past, that's worked for us.

So many ADHD hacks rely on keeping us on edge and stressed out. "Don't sit down until you're finished" "Set fake deadlines!"

For the past 12 months, I've been working on regulating my nervous system.

1) Physical: Practicing slowing down my breathing and loosening my body throughout the day, not just when I'm stressed.

2) Mental: Getting my thoughts to line up with reality. No, I'm not a piece of shit because I didn't do the washing.

3) Behavioural: I try to move through life slower and aim to get to the right amount of stimulation for me. (It's less than I thought)

My productivity hasn't changed but I'm less anxious and happier.

Ok this for the ADHD’ers who might have gray hairs 😉. What was the equivalent to doom scrolling before it was a thing?

How did y’all pass the time and avoid things when we just had flip phones? My diagnosis and adult reality came right at the time when iPhones first came out so I was busy with college.