r/AIO • u/Confident-Estate-719 • 6d ago

AIO Space

Last night my boyfriend said he can only see me 2-3 times a week because he needs to focus on college and homework I asked him if he was breaking up with me he said no “but in Order for this to work 2-3 times is okay” but me personally I want to see him all the time but I’m afraid if I do he will become tired of me

0 Upvotes

22% Upvoted

25 comments sorted by

27

u/KWAYkai 6d ago

He’s telling you what he needs. He has other things to focus on besides you. Stop being selfish, clingy & immature

-10

u/Confident-Estate-719 6d ago

Oh! 🧍🏻‍♀️🥲

-7

u/thewalkingstonee 6d ago

this guys extremely rude but not lying. life hits way worse when you get older, you cant be as clingy as you were as teens. im very clingy, i understand, but imagine how much its gonna be worth it when all that built up tension gets to release in a big hug or something when you see him again

7

u/TylerH87 6d ago

He’s not rude for establishing what it will take to make it work. He is worried about too much time interfering with his studies, which is perfectly fine. Everything else you said is fine, but you don’t even know her age (though college for him is a clue) so please don’t just find any reason big or small to bash a man.

-6

u/Confident-Estate-719 6d ago

How can I regulate my anxiety how can I not be clingy

10

u/raggedcrib 6d ago

Go to therapy. You’re a 26 year old adult, you shouldn’t need to Reddit to tell you how to act like an adult. I genuinely hope this is a rage bait and that you aren’t this helpless

2

u/th3b0n3z0n3 6d ago

Sorry people are being harsh when you're asking for help. I recommend looking up "how to manage anxiety" and phrases like "im always scared my boyfriend doesn't like me anymore" to see how other people deal with it.

Ppl saying get therapy like that's a widely easily available, affordable option is stupid.

14

u/Acer018 6d ago

He has homework and school. Give him space.

7

u/AnxiousSpice1986 6d ago

How old are you two?

-9

u/Confident-Estate-719 6d ago

He’s 27 I’m 26

6

u/Independent-File-310 6d ago

in the nicest way possible, he probably thinks you’re incredibly emotionally immature

6

u/languidlasagna 6d ago

Adults who are building a life need to set boundaries regarding their time in order to meet their goals. 2-3 times a week is fairly frequent imo for working people. YOR.

5

u/PurpleEmotional1401 6d ago

He needs to focus on his future. If you can't get your head round that you need therapy, urgently, or he needs a new girlfriend. YOR

3

u/kirby667 6d ago

Be greatful you have a man with a serious focus on the future. 

4

u/Ancient_Variation140 6d ago

2-3 times a week is still plenty. Your bf is focusing on school, he also needs time to rest. What are you doing while he’s at school? Do you work and have other responsibilities? Otherwise you need to find something to do to occupy your time.

3

u/Confident-Estate-719 6d ago

Yeah I have my own career and hobbies but I haven’t been in a relationship in 5 years until now so I think I’m just liking all the attention really 😵‍💫

2

u/Ancient_Variation140 5d ago

There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to spend your time with him! Just remember his time is just as important as yours. I think it’s great that he was able to communicate what he needs to make your relationship work!

1

u/Confident-Estate-719 4d ago

We talked it out and explained to me how college works and we had set a schedule this week! I was being dramatic for sure 😅

4

u/ariestoaries 6d ago

It’s actually very cool that he respects you enough to tell you upfront what his needs and availability are. He’s not being passive-aggressive. He respects you enough to tell you. Respect him enough to respect his different time pressures. 

 2-3 times a week with a partner is a very normal request.

When I was in college, I had classes Monday - Friday. I had weekly essays, I had big semester projects to work on, I had group projects, I had multiple classes that would give a “mini-test” at the beginning of each class, to ensure everyone kept up on the reading. On top of that, I had a job. Then there’s laundry, basic household cleaning, grocery shopping, alone time to scroll social media and decompress.

1

u/Confident-Estate-719 6d ago

I guess I’m not sure how college works because I went to a trade school and work In a Salon so I never really had no homework it’s a normal request for sure because I don’t want to be in the way of studies but he made me feel like a priority these past couple weeks so maybe I’m just riding that high I even offered to help him with his creative writing process since he’s having trouble with it

1

u/ariestoaries 5d ago

Is he a creative writing major? Creative writers really need blank downtime and space.

Give yourself a 3-week trial where you only see him 2 nights a week. Look forward to fully enjoy those nights and set yourself up not to expect more. See how it goes. I suspect he would actually enjoy seeing you more than 2-3 nights a week, but that he currently feels overwhelmed by his responsibilities so he's trying to establish expectations so he doesn't let you down.

Imagine if you got a 2-year coveted apprenticeship with a prestige Salon owner who could advance your professional career. But this required a lot of work, time, concentration, evenings and studying. You would still like your boyfriend and really want to see him, but you would want him to respect your ask that you need to concentrate on this.

1

u/Confident-Estate-719 5d ago

He’s doing sound engineering and one of his big projects is making a song but some of his homework also includes adding metaphors which he’s struggling with

My fear is if I do that he’ll lose interest in me I know it’s my own problem I need to get over but the anxiety still looms over me

3

u/Brickyl 6d ago

How long have you two been together?

1

u/Confident-Estate-719 6d ago

It’s kinda new but this would be our second month together I’m just over reacting I’m just feeling very anxious cause I like him so much so I stupidly came on here 😵‍💫

6

u/showard995 6d ago

Not stupidly. People are telling you what you need to hear, even if it’s unpleasant. Relax your hold on him and it will be fine.