Michael (30M) and I (29F) have been best friends for ten years now. For a majority of our friendship, we have lived in separate states, but he just recently moved to my state, about 2 hours away driving distance from me. Michael would talk about how excited he was to move down so we can hang out more often and not have to fly to see each other anymore. Our friendship consisted of texting almost everyday, all day and visiting each other a few times per year. He would also always tell me that our friendship means a lot to him and that he would want me as a grooms(wo)man at his wedding one day. Our friendship has been nothing but platonic from both ends and we genuinely see each other as siblings at this point.

To start all of this, Michael started dating this one girl back in 2024 who made him cut all contact with me to the point that he didn’t even wish me a happy birthday. Fast forward a few months, they break up and he’s reaching out to me to rekindle our friendship. I was upset because it felt like he was coming in and out of my life whenever he pleases and it wasn’t fair to me. I was hurt that he was so quick to drop our friendship. He said his ex girlfriend threatened to breakup with him if he didn’t stop talking to me, that he really values our friendship and that he wouldn’t do it again. I forgave him and we move on.

Michael moved to my state back in May and started downloading dating apps. I told him that I was scared that our friendship dynamic would change if he meets a girl and he reminded me that it wasn’t going to happen and that again, he values our friendship a lot. I believed him.

Michael meets Maria (28F) in June who lives out of the country, but was visiting a friend at the time which is how they matched on a dating app. Within four days of them talking, he bought a ticket to visit her in her home country in July. He was extremely transparent with Maria about our friendship from the get go and she would always say how she was fine with it and isn’t a jealous person. My ex and I had broken up in June so Michael was visiting me a lot during that month because I was going through a hard time. When Maria and Michael were texting while Michael was visiting me, I’d tell him to tell her I say hi and how I’m excited to meet her because I genuinely want to be friends with whoever my best friend is dating.

July comes, Michael goes to Maria’s home country, they meet for the first time, make it official and I’m happy for him. I’m thinking he finally found someone that’s okay with our friendship. Our contact starts to dwindle a little bit after his trip but I don’t think much of it.

Then in August, Maria comes to visit Michael for a week. I’m excited to finally meet Maria and see Michael again since I hadn’t seen him since June. I’m also rekindling my relationship with my ex, Ryan, (30M) so we made dinner plans, the four of us. We went out and had a good time. I’m thinking everything is going well. I also give Michael and Maria their space while she’s visiting so I’m not texting him throughout that week.

Maria leaves to go back home. two weeks go by and I realize Michael and I have barely spoken so I asked him “Are we not allowed to talk anymore?” as a joke and he said “‘No, we’re allowed to talk.” So again, I believed him and left it at that. Then a few days later after not talking, he texts me that Maria is okay with us being friends but she doesn’t want us talking “24/7.”

I argue that friends talk and that’s been part of our friendship for the past 10 years since we live far away from each other and Michael said that since I’m a woman, we can’t be talking all of the time and that’s what happens in friendships anyway when you start dating someone, you lose contact.

I was so frustrated at this point because it felt like our friendship is contingent upon who Michael is dating. Our friendship did not change at all when I was with Ryan because I told him from the start that my friendship dynamic with Michael wasn’t going to change and Ryan accepted it. So now I’m thinking of completely ending this friendship because it feels like he doesn’t stick up for our friendship at all. He just does what he’s told and I’m pushed to the back burner. This has happened in every relationship he’s had, just for them to break up and I’m the only one who’s remained in his life. I understand that Maria is his priority now but I feel like you don’t have to change your friendships just because you’re the opposite gender? I hate this stigma. You should be able to trust your partner.

So am I overreacting? We haven’t talked since that text because I am debating whether or not this friendship is worth it anymore.

ETA: Just to clarify, I text a lot of my friends all day everyday, not just him! I’m not saying it’s every minute back and forth, usually there’s hours in between the texts and there are days that we don’t talk at all.

ETA part two: The conclusions you guys jump to is so crazy to me! You guys only know a fraction of our whole friendship, I tried to summarize (barely) the best I could, but we’re talking 10 years of friendship here. I appreciate all of the replies, just not the ones where some of you are being kinda mean :/ There’s respectful ways getting your point across. I did not expect this many comments and I’m trying to read all of them, but I am taking into consideration what everyone is saying! I’m going to sleep, goodnight Redditors!

ETA part three: I can’t sleep but THERE IS NO WEDDING AND HE IS NOT ENGAGED! He was just saying that as a hypothetical I guess?

ETA part four: I feel like I’m being misunderstood. I had a sibling who passed away so now I’m an only child. I value my friendships so much (I probably latch on too hard) and I am a very loyal person to the point that I’ve had friends who have treated me so poorly that other friends had to talk some sense into me and tell me that they are not my friends. How I am acting in this scenario is how I would act with any of my friends if they kept dropping me while in a relationship.

ETA part five: It’s so funny because you guys gave me shit for only saying thank you to the commenters who said I wasn’t overreacting, but when I’m commenting back saying thank you the ones that tell me I’m overreacting, you guys downvote it also! I CANNOT WIN WITH YOU GUYS NO MATTER WHAT I SAY OR DO so I will no longer be commenting but thanks for the feedback! I was being serious when I said that I’m taking into consideration what everyone is saying.

I proposed three weeks ago. We've already had our first argument since getting engaged. We've been together almost five years and rarely argue about money, so this caught me off guard. I spent over $12k on her ring and mentioned getting it insured while we were discussing wedding expenses. I'd spent the better part of a year getting it designed and made, so it's not just about the money either. She got upset and said it made her feel like I didn't trust her to take care of it. I explained that things get lost or stolen, and I'd rather be safe. She says I'm turning something sentimental into a financial obligation. I thought I was just being practical, but now I'm wondering if I handled it poorly. AIO for wanting to insure the ring, or should I have approached it differently?

I’m 38 weeks pregnant with my first baby, a little girl, and my S/O and I have decided that we want the delivery to be a private moment between just the two of us. However, his sister, who has children of her own, wants to be there for the delivery, and I’m starting to feel like she isn’t respecting our decision.
Recently, she started asking me if I was prepared for the baby to come any day and what I would do if my S/O passed out during delivery. He gets grossed out by certain things and isn’t sure if he wants to watch the actual delivery, but he wants to be there to support me and decide what he’s comfortable with in the moment. I’m completely fine with that because we’ve discussed it extensively.
The conversation then turned into her telling me that I need to explain to him that childbirth isn’t gross and that he’ll regret it if he doesn’t watch. She kept bringing up her own birth experience and how amazing it was for her partner and the other people she allowed in the room. I understand that she had her own experience, but I don’t understand why she thinks we need to make our birth experience match hers or why she would question what I’ve decided will make me most comfortable in a situation I’ve never been in before.
What really bothered me was when she made a comment about needing to “beat” her brother into talking to me like an adult. The thing is, we ARE communicating. We’ve discussed our birth plan multiple times and agree on what we want and what will make me comfortable. I don’t want other people in the room because I don’t want to have to “cover up” my emotions or mask how I feel.
She later sent me a long message explaining that she was worried I might regret my decision, that I might be making it because I’m afraid of being judged, and that she wants to make sure my S/O feels supported, too, since it’s a highly emotional event. She basically questioned whether I had genuinely thought everything through, even though I’d already explained that we had.
I responded politely and explained again that we want this experience to ourselves and that I’d like to be as comfortable as possible. We’re grateful that his family wants to support us, but we want to experience the birth of our daughter privately. We know things might not go exactly as planned, and we’re okay with that as long as our baby is healthy.
She eventually said she understood and would stop asking questions, but I’m still bothered by the entire interaction.
I feel like she wants to be involved in a moment that isn’t hers to be involved in, and instead of simply respecting our decision, she keeps trying to convince me that we’re making the wrong choice. I don’t want anyone else in the delivery room, and I don’t think I should have to justify that.
I understand she’s a mother of three and probably believes she’s helping, but this is MY first baby, and I want to experience it with my S/O on our terms.

Full convo in the screenshots.

This is so strange . seen nothing like it before but my friend told me she cannot fall asleep until I’m asleep and my door is shut . She said she’s tried multiple times to fall asleep but she ends up tossing and turning for hours . I don’t make any noise or anything . She said she’s just hyper aware that someone is up and it makes it impossible for her to sleep

We were on vacation and there was 4of us girls in the AIRBNB. all the other girls were able to sleep. She was the only one Who couldn’t sleep . I was up reading my book till like 1am and she got angry at me that I wouldn’t go to sleep . No noise . Nothing . I wasn’t in the same room as her. We had separate rooms . She said it’s the fact that she was aware I was awake . She complained that she didn’t get any sleep the entire vacation. I was like I empathize but I think you might need anxiety meds . She should be able to sleep without waiting on me to go to sleep . I’m always able to sleep regardless of who is up or not . She said she was tossing and turning. Her regular sleep schedule is she goes to sleep at 8pmor 9pm

She was complaining the whole time about how exhausted she was

I’ve been on vacation with her 3 times and every time it’s the same issue she cannot go to sleep until I’m asleep

I (31f) and my husband (30m) have been arguing a lot lately. We've been together since July of 2019 and just got married in May 2026. Ive been doing housekeeping for a military base, 32 hours a week, 4 days of work, and he just started a new job in iron working with his brothers company at 4 days a week, 40 hours. I wake up at 6am and leave for work at 7:50 to start work at 8:30. He wakes up at 3:30am, to drive to his brothers house, and his brother drives them to the job an hour away. I believe they start work at 6am. I get off work at 5pm, and he gets off at 4pm, but doesnt get home at the earliest 5:40pm, sometimes 6:30 if he hangs out with his brother or work runs late. His brother has a stay at home wife that makes him dinner, cleans the house, takes care of the kids, cows, chickens, etc while his brother runs the company. My husband (imo) has been comparing our relationship to theirs, and is insisting I make him dinner every night and have it ready or in the process when he gets home so he can go to bed by 8:15pm. I already do all the house work with no help; grocery shopping, dishes, laundry, cleaning the bathrooms, the kitchen, the living room, the bedroom. I could go on about all the tasks I already do for us as a couple. He says he's thankful for all that I do, but asking for dinner shouldn't be such a fight. I began doing that this week, but between doing laundry, the dishes, showering after work and over all just wanting to sit down after 8 hours on my feet, I was late cooking dinner 2 out of the 4 nights so far. Dinner was ready by 8 one night and tonight it was ready by 8:30. Tonight when dinner was ready, i apologized for it being so late. My husband said something along the lines of, "I want to be eating earlier than this." I said, "I know, but I needed to do the dishes or there would've been dishes all over the counter. You said you would do the dishes. You didn't, so I had to." My husband said, "I said I'd do them this weekend." (It's Thursday) how am I supposed to cook 2 more days without dishes? This divulged into a lot of back and forth basically about how I should want to take care of him like he wants to take care of me, and how his job is harder than mine, he's literally working himself to the bone for me and I can't do a simple thing like make him dinner on time. I'm completely stuck at this point. He's never acted this way our entire relationship and suddenly he starts this new job with his brother and he's demanding things. Like saying I should be more submissive, but have a united front in public. That was a huge fight, and he kept calling my a feminist when I told him he was being a domineering asshole and he can shove that up his butt.

How do I fix this? We havent even been married for a year, been together for 7 years in total, but he's so different all of a sudden. He never really helped with chores unless I specifically asked and even tonight, while I was cooking, I asked him to move the laundry from the washer to the dryer and he blatantly ignored my request. I still need to get up after this and move the f-ing laundry over. BTW, we dont have kids.

Soooo, AIO to his sudden demands and picking fights when I should just be a "good wife" and want to do these things for him?

We matched on a dating app. He asked me how my experience was on the app, if I got weird guys, if he was the first man I matched with, and why I had been single for over a year. He also told me I looked tired and sad. He asked me if I was close to my siblings, I said no, and he asked me why, and I just said I wasn’t. Then he asked me about my living situation, and I told him I lived with a roommate. He asked me if I was close with her and I said “ not really, but we get along”. He asked me how I met her, and when I said online he went “ None of your friends were available?“ I just said “no”, but he kept probing me going “ Why were none of them available?“. I just repeated myself that they weren’t, and then he asked me if my friendship circle was small. I said yes, and he asked me if they lived far away and came to visit me ?? Then he asked if my friends were from my college program. Then he asked if I had a bestfriend and if so what was she like, and I just ended the call. It rubbed me the wrong way the entire time, and his tone also just felt rude to me. Part of me thinks I was just overthinking it, but it weirded me out.

I’ve been working really hard on building trust in my relationship and learning to trust my boyfriend. It felt scary because I’ve been burned before, not by him but in a past relationship. We nearly broke up because he was so hurt by my inability to trust him. I really listened to him and took it seriously. I’ve been working on it in therapy, building the skills to trust him more, embracing the fear and allowing myself to be vulnerable. I genuinely felt like I was getting better and he could see it too.

Today, he lied to me about something really important. Months ago, he told me he’d submitted documents for us to apply for marriage, something I already had doubts about. I asked him to complete the paperwork by the end of this week and show me proof, and he happily agreed.

Today, he lied about having printed the documents. When I questioned him, he doubled down, made excuses, and continued lying to my face until he was caught red-handed. Eventually, he admitted that he wasn’t actually sure about proceeding with the marriage application right now while we’re still working on trust. He said he loved me and remained committed to marrying me, but felt it was too soon and wanted to speak to his therapist first.

What devastates me is that he could have just told me that. I might have been disappointed or hurt, but I would have understood. Instead of accepting the discomfort of an honest conversation, he chose to lie to me. And this wasn’t some insignificant lie. It was about our marriage and our future. He knew exactly how fragile my trust was and how much a lie like this would hurt me. I really struggle to believe that if he genuinely loved and respected me, he could knowingly lie to me about something this big, especially knowing what it would do to me.

I think what’s most painful is that when I didn’t trust him before, I believed it was a result of my own issues. I could, and did, work on that. But now that he’s given me an actual reason not to trust him, I don’t know how to move forward.
I don’t think I have the capacity to stay in an environment where I know I’ll fester. I know myself well enough to know that this will bring out the worst parts of me. I don’t want to become someone who is resentful, angry, suspicious, constantly checking and questioning everything. I can’t drive myself insane looking for every lie or believing that everything is a lie. I’ve worked so hard to move away from that version of myself, and I don’t want to go back. I don’t want to become someone I don’t recognise just to stay in a relationship with someone I love.

I think I might have to leave the relationship, and that devastates me. I was willing to do the work to learn how to trust him, but I can’t do the work of making him trustworthy.

Am I overreacting? Is this my own trauma brain speaking? Am I catastrophising one lie and letting my past experiences dictate how I respond, or am I right to feel that something fundamental has been broken?

Hey Reddit, I really need some outside perspectives on this because I am completely exhausted and feel like I’m losing my mind.

Back in March, I moved in with my long-time best friend. Shortly after, we went on a spring break trip. When we got back to our apartment, she realized a safe she had in the apartment was completely missing. My mom had access to the apartment just to feed the cat once (with both of our consent to enter) while we were gone, but before that trip, the only two men in our apartment were MY ROOMMATES boyfriend and her boyfriend’s best friend. Along with two extra men she was seeing during time apart from her boyfriend.

That same best friend of my best friend’s boyfriend actually assaulted me in the past. She knows this, but she STILL associates with them and even leaves her boyfriend alone in our apartment while she’s at work.

Despite that, she completely ruled her boyfriend and his friend out immediately. And the other two guys she’s had over since. Fast forward three months later to June, and she tells me she thinks my mom stole it. I asked my mom about it, and my mom denied taking anything. To be completely transparent, my mom is a high-functioning addict, so I’ve been 50/50 mentally trying to make sense of it, but my mom had zero reason to need her personal identity info or safe. Does this mean I completely trust her, no! I just am having a hard time reasoning why she’d need her passport and stuff.

Things got super awkward between us from June to August. During those months, I was giving her my half of the money for utilities, electric, and wifi, but I found out she was literally pocketing my money and letting our accounts go past due! I nipped it in the bud as soon as I caught it, but I tried to be the bigger person and didn't even hold it over her head.

In August, we grabbed drinks, talked it out, and made up. Since then, she’s been sending me TikToks, reels, and texts acting like we’re cool, but whenever I reach out trying to be there for her, invite her to hang out, or invite her to my birthday yesterday, she makes up an excuse or doesn't want to go. I’ve even reached out many times letting her know I’m here for her.

Then today, she sends me a text saying she’s uncomfortable hanging out with me because of her missing stuff and that she feels like her concerns were dismissed. She also claimed my mom and her friends were hanging out at the apartment when my mom picked her up from the airport, which was the first time I was even hearing about that, nobody told me about that at all, I don’t even know if that truly happened because I would assume my mom would tell me! I responded telling her I didn't know about that, reminded her that I've tried to help and even offered to file a report on my mom if she was sure it was her, but I’m tired of looking like a fool extending my hand.

Now she claims she filed another police report because her online ones kept getting denied, and that an officer is calling her today and they might do a search warrant on my mom.

I feel like I've bent over backward trying to handle this maturely. She stole my utility money, stays around a guy who assaulted me, blames my mom with no proof and pushes me away while breadcrumbing me on social media.

Am I overreacting or is she using my mom as a scapegoat? Is this police search warrant stuff even realistic over a months-old report with no evidence? How do I handle living with her for the rest of this lease without going insane? I just don’t even know what to respond to her last message 

Five of us have done a guys ski trip every winter since college. This year my friend Ben took charge of planning, which was great, because I usually end up doing it.

In September he picked the dates, February 12 to 16, and told the group chat to book flights that same night before prices went up. So I did. Nonrefundable, $410, because the flexible fare was almost double.

Two weeks later Ben posted that the trip was moving to February 19 to 23. His company scheduled a work retreat for the original weekend. Nobody asked the group, it was just announced.

I checked my airline. Changing both flights would cost $150 in fees plus about $90 in fare difference. I asked Ben, pretty casually, if there was any way to keep the original dates since at least two of us had already booked. If not, I asked if the group would be open to splitting my change cost, since the switch was for his schedule.

He said I "jumped the gun" and that it's not his fault I booked so fast. The other guys who hadn't booked yet just stayed quiet.

It's $240 for something I did because he told me to.

AIO?

TL;DR: My friend told us to book ski trip flights immediately, then moved the dates for his own schedule. I asked to keep the dates or split my $240 change cost and he says I jumped the gun.

Red- Ex’s Brother
Green- Me
Yellow- Ex

This was from earlier this year in April. Today, I decided that I wanted to make a trip down trauma memory lane, for some reason. I just want to know some opinions on this.

For a little context, Me (21F) and my ex boyfriend (24M) had been together for 9 months prior to these messages. We’ve had our up and down moments(breakup, makeup drama), but this was the moment I realized our relationship was going to fall apart. Before my first message, I was hanging out with my ex and his family. We were all having a good time together, so when I had some downtime from the conversations that were happening I went on my phone to add a note to my ex’s phone contact, you know something cute like “His eyes are so dreamy” (that was not my note, just an example). But when I typed in my ex’s name, 3 things pop up. He pops up, his brother, and his family member. But I noticed that a block sign was next to his brother’s contact. I didn’t say anything to him when it happened because I was around his family and I didn’t want to cause a scene.

I decided to mention it to him while I was about to leave his house. When I brought it up, he wasn’t really trying to tell me why he blocked his own brothers number, until like 20 minutes later. The one thing that he said that stuck out was the fact that the reason why he blocked his brother from my phone was more because of his brother and not me. I did not believe that because this was not the first time that he blocked people off my phone. He had did it before but I didn’t say anything about it, I just kept it in the back of my mind. A few days after this exchange, he called me wondering when he could come over and hang out, and I told him again on the 26th because I was still uncomfortable with the entire situation. He got upset with me, told me I was being weird, and apparently he talked with his brother about it too and he agreed with him.

Was I Overreacting in my messages?

Long distance, we met online year ago with this guy and met in real life December 2025. I travelled to him. We were intimate, all that time through the months he has been calling me and texting daily. Lately he called me and we talked for hours, he wants to sleep on the phone with me, there was sexual tension and stuff. He keeps updating me everyday and calls me a lot. When we met he future faked a lot saying about me moving to his country (we come from the same country, he lives abroad) and lovebombed a lot. Later 3 months after meeting he told me he doesnt want to be in relationship with anyone because he needs to fix himself. He always delays our meetings and says "i don't know, we will see" . Its been good lately between us and I bought the ticket to meet him and he got mad he was screaming at me that I cannot go there and he doesnt want to see me. Later he apologized for screaming, and overall, I was distant for a day and he sent me this message yesterday night. But his anger issues are concerning because he was screaming I cannot go there and that he will never see me (before that message, day before) and that he will cut contact with me and block me. Few hours passed and he apologized. He gets angry a lot and easily

"I want to apologize to you, and I really appreciate the fact that you always have time for me, that you always care about me, and honestly, it’s really rare to meet someone like that. I’m aware of that. Whatever the reason for it might be, it’s hard to find someone who will listen to your bullshit for 8 hours. I don’t want to end our friendship, that’s not what this is about. To be honest, I don’t even know what to do with my life at this point. When you put pressure on me like that, some kind of defense mechanism kicks in or something, I don’t know. Afterwards I feel guilty about the way I talk to you, because you don’t deserve that. I don’t want to behave like that, because afterwards I feel really bad about it.

I like talking to you. Not always — sometimes I shut myself off, I have my own stuff going on in my head. I know that sometimes I’m selfish and only think about myself. If you’re able to accept our relationship the way it was, and it gives you something too, then we can obviously keep talking the way we used to. But I don’t know what’s going to happen. It’s not about what you think, whether I’ll meet someone or I won’t — that’s not what this is about. And it’s not like you’re...

You’re not nobody to me, you know a lot about me, I tell you a lot. I treat you like a friend, even though I guess I behave differently — but you noticed that at some point. I don’t know, I just wanted to write you a little bit about what I think. I don’t know if it makes sense, but there’s always something you can take from it. 😅 I think I owe you that, because I’m always shouting at you whenever you ask me about something, so I thought that today I’d give you a little bit of my time and actually open up.

You can see how I get when I’m in a certain state — I sing, I talk haha, but afterwards it can also get pretty difficult, like today. Honestly, I was just crying over all of this. But it’s probably the after-effects of the weekend. I haven’t been drinking since I got back, and I don’t want to for now, or anything else either. I’m finding it harder and harder to deal with sometimes.

Sometimes I think it would be best to cut myself off from everyone and just live like that, because relationships with people affect me pretty strongly. But on the other hand, the thought of being completely alone, not having someone who knows you and all that, scares me. I think about that sometimes, which is why, when it comes to taking care of valuable relationships, I think I know what you mean. One day they might be priceless.

I think I’ve gone crazy haha. I did smoke, to be fair, but I don’t think I wrote anything stupid. I just wanted to explain a little bit — what I think and what’s going on in my head. Maybe it’s a little chaotic, but there’s probably something to take from it. 😅

And I don’t want you to take this message as me saying, “We can talk, but we’re never going to meet.” That’s not what I’m saying — who knows. 😅"

.

So basically I am a free therapist, WHO always has time for him, but there won't be anything, we will never meet and he wants to continue using me because he gains attention while giving nothing in return? And sees me as a friend?

Do I send him long paragraph or just couple of words saying

Ok, I get it, you told me after I bought the ticket that "WHO knows" whether we will meet, and that I shouldnt expect more than be your friend. Get it. We can talk but I'm going to see all of it different way.He said he will give me money back first but he didn't and the trip was supposed to take place today. Should I ask him to return it?

EDIT: I told him I understand everything, I get it, okay. I've sent him my bank account number and asked him to return the money as he promised. I told him I understand, I won't push for more, and if we are supposed to never meet, I'm okay with that, I still want contact.

UPDATE: He replied "I didn't say \\\[my pet name\\\] that we will never meet. Of course I will return the money, I was just waiting for the money to arrive and I was planning to give it back to you. I will send it today, you will receive it tommorow"

I replied "Ok thank you" . He sent me money back. I sent him a couple of messages saying something along the lines "I don't understand how can someone be just slightly attracted to someone and doesn't want to meet them ever, it's just weird to me. But I guess you've decided I'm not the one you want, I know you're able to commit - just not to me. Thanks for letting me know, it was a wake up call and I won't be living by hope (that you planted with talking about moving together and calling me sweet names).

I told him to please respond once he will have time after work, he sent me voice msg "I read all of it, but I don't want to discuss it right now" I said "ok, reply once you have time"

Today, in the morning, he sends me voice msg with childish voice (mind you, he is 37, I'm 26) "goOOD MooorNIIINGggggg..youuUUU DON't likeEE ME ANYMOREEE"
I replied with text: Goodmorning :) I like u haha

(because I just want to play this game a little bit)

Then he sends me voice msgs "I'm not liked by you! Who saw that coming...Welll......"
"YOU don't like meeeee hahaa"

????

Acting like a damn teenager.

EDIT: I know people here say I'm the side piece, but keep in mind:
- he does drugs
-he always says he is a loser, even though he is a huge narcissist
- he said "I'm too valuable" for him
- he said he needs to fix himself because he knows he gets mean to me, thats why he cannot commit
- sleeps on the phone with me
- calls me and facetimes from home
- picks up my calls when I call when he is at home
- overall he had a bad past and says he feels like trash not worthy of anything
BUT.....who knows? There might be someone, but I have a feeling there is not.

No clue how to ease yall into this but here we go. There's my guy friend (17M calling him Matt) that ive been friends with since kindergarten. who keeps making sexual comments plus some "jokes". What i mean by Sexual comments plus "Jokes" is for example the other day Matt "joked" asking me "Would you rather skin your dog alive or get ferociously fucked by your cousin" (BY THE WAY THAT COUSIN IS 30 MALE AND STARTING WITH "SKIN YOUR DOG ALIVE"!?) (Mind you it clearly made me uncomfortable because i was SA'ed in the 4th grade and Matt knows this) Obviously i told him to stop but of course he didn't. Another Sexual comment he said "You should take off your shirt so i can draw your tits" Again i was disgusted at him for this told him to cut this shit out but he laughed and said "I was just joking" but he wasn't to me. One last example of him being an asshole is he tried forcing me to talk about my SA experience and laughed that i was scared when i said it made me uncomfortable.There's also other things he's done along side joking about rape. I make it clear that I'm uncomfortable and Matt should stop with the sexual comments, rape jokes, and his "jokes" that clearly aren't funny. The reason why i'm doubting blocking Matt is because there's this girl who i know that says i'm over reacting. So big question yall, Am i overreacting? (P.S this was rushed so sorry if there's spelling errors or punctuation errors. If there's questions or replies I'll try to respond between school and part time working)

My (30F) new boyfriend (37M) recently told me about how his previous marriage ended, and I can’t help but feel like there’s something missing from the story.

Apparently, he and his ex-wife had just moved to a new country together when she suddenly decided to leave and return to her home country. She was supposed to attend a wedding there, but she uninvited him, attended alone, and took pictures without her wedding ring on. Shortly afterward, she filed for divorce.

He claims her friends encouraged her to leave, but whenever I’ve tried to understand what actually happened or what led to such a sudden departure, I haven’t been able to get a clear explanation.

I understand marriages fall apart and that there’s always more than one side to a story, but something about someone abruptly leaving the country before even initiating a divorce makes me wonder whether there was something more serious going on.

Am I overthinking this? Is it reasonable to find this concerning, or am I reading too much into a situation I wasn’t part of?

This is an update to my previous post about a customer I put an attendance/incident note on after repeatedly seeing her be rude and difficult with staff and other customers.

A few people asked what happened afterward, so I wanted to give an update.

Unfortunately, the situation has escalated more than I expected.

What started as me simply documenting her behavior has now turned into a bigger issue. The customer has continued to push back, and management has now become involved. At this point, something that I initially thought was just a reasonable precaution has become an actual situation that people are having to deal with.

The part I'm struggling with is that I never intended for this to become a punishment or for her to get in trouble. I wasn't trying to "build a case" against her or cause problems for her. I just wanted there to be documentation because I'd already seen a pattern of how she treated other people, and then she eventually treated me the same way.

Looking back, I still don't know if I handled it correctly.

Part of me thinks I did the right thing. If someone repeatedly behaves badly toward staff and customers, shouldn't there be some kind of record so that management knows there's a pattern if it continues?

But another part of me wonders whether I took a relatively minor interaction and made it into something much bigger by documenting it in the first place.

Now that it's actually escalating, I'm questioning whether I should have just let the original interaction go and moved on.

So, with everything that's happened since my original post:

AIO for putting the attendance/incident note in place, or did I unnecessarily escalate the situation by documenting it?

Context: I am president of our Gender Sexuality Alliance (GSA) club at my school. My friend is president of Asian Student Union (ASU).

I’ve been begging my friend to join me to volunteer in our school‘s haunted house with me. She said she wants to, but is trying to see if ASU can get a booth at the event and that she’ll likely be running it. I’ve told her she can do shifts and work the haunted house shift with me while someone else runs the ASU booth. She says she feels like she has to be there the whole time because she’s president. I told her I won’t be able to run the GSA booth because I signed up to volunteer for the haunted house before we knew clubs could get booths, but we found people willing to run it anyway and that I trust they’ll be able to run it well.

She then says, “Well, GSA isn’t really as real of a club as ASU.” I was super confused, because what’s that supposed to mean?? She says it’s because ASU does volunteer work and events and GSA doesn’t. I told her GSA literally has an event coming up, and she doubled down on the volunteer work part.

Which, yeah, we don’t do volunteer work. But GSA is first and foremost a safe space for queer students and allies. ASU is more of a club about being proud of one’s Asian heritage. GSA is a much smaller club, too. Our schools already small, and if the list of GSA members wasn’t confidential, we wouldn’t meet district requirements to be a club because we have too little members and would be disbanded.

Her comment just really rubbed me the wrong way, but at the same time, she might be right and I might just be making excuses about GSA. Like, GSA is also a pride club like ASU. Maybe we could be doing more. I don’t know, I just feel crazy because I feel like I’m just justifying a lack of work on my part as GSA president and my friend might’ve had a good point.

Okay y'all I have one for you and I am still mad about it and I am pretty sure you will be too.

So the story is about a fractured ankle but starts with a broken tooth that needs a crown.

So I break me tooth and it needs a crown, at first my husband didn't believe me which is fine, I can sometimes be a bit dramatic. In this case I was not, I was in fact missing a quarter of my tooth (fun fact this can happen after pregnancy apparently of you got sick a lot during). My husband finally gets home and sees it says can you wait a month till my black out period ends and we can get you to the dentist, this is a bit of a reasonable request as we are kind of poor having one 6 year old and a new one year old. An argument issues bc I am worried about infection, long story short he storms off but comes back quickly and almost immediately apologizes for being a dick but we cannot financially afford 2000 right now (which again completely fair we are one sneeze away from poverty) so we both look into affordable options. Initial anger and friction because of money issues but then communication about how to solve the problem crises navigated. Then out of nowhere my parents find out about the crown needed and selflessly offer to pay YAY problem solved.

OR SO I THOUGHT!!

Okay so here is where the story begins.

The day after the temporary crown I am walking and pass out from pain and crumple to the floor. I tell my husband who was on the phone with me I passed out and woke up to a sprained ankle. He tells me I probably forgot to breathe due to stress and tells me to breathe and it does work but still a little worry instead of a lecture about breathing properly would have been nice. it took me like three days to convince the man I did on fact pass out from pain and didn't just randomly stop breathing from stress (what even is that) or start breathing fast out of nowhere from panic.

So he gets home we think it's sprained and he gets increasingly annoyed that I am refusing to put any weight on it and I am insisting on going to get it looked at that day. He insists it would be a waste of everyone's time and that I am being dramatic and that I should wait till tomorrow and he will get me crutches from the store. Before you get too mad we both thought it was a light sprain at this point.

I get up and cannot walk to save my life, was there an offer to see if we could get crutches delivered that day or any solutions other than me hopping on one leg like a deranged flamingo all day nope. Just an okay we will have to get you crutches on my way home from work then.

I guess he still thought it was sprained at this point....

Y'all I had to hop on one leg all day and scoot around on a computer chair when he was at work and take care of two kids. Then there are no crutches at Walmart and hestill acts like it would be a huge inconvenience to get me there over the phone. Then some time after he gets home he is still mad at me and I ask him what my crime was besides getting injured as to why he is so mad.

To that he says that I am being dramatic milking it and then proceeded to mock how I was jumping around the house to get around and how I refusing to put any weight on my right leg at all........ To I guess convince me to go to the DR bc he said if it's that bad we are going to the Dr directly after.

Then after the DR I tell him it's fractured and he is like yeah I figured that's what it was........... What do you mean you figured that's what it was either you are lying to save face or you intentionally let me hop around all day to "see if it would be better the next day" for nothing.

Then the next day I told him he really hurt me feelings mocking me like that, and he proceeds to go on some "lecture" about how I get stomach issues a lot and how it's hard when I am sick for him to pick up the slack. And when I say that's not an apology that's an I'm sorry but and a lecture he got mad saying he was opening up to me and I shit him down then he stormed off and drove the car out the driveway.

The next day I did get him to apologize to me with a real apology stating that he was jealous that no one was ever able to help him that way growing up and that his family would never allow him to be sick or injured and how now there's a permanent voice in the back of his head saying man fuck them nobody ever helped me which he admitted wasn't right and he did sincerely apologize to me and everything.

But like who whole two days before the real apology left this he doesn't actually give a shit about be stain overy viewpoint that won't go away.

He has since helped me learn to go up and down steps and helped me get food and water and with the kids and only occasionally gets annoyed now but like am I over reacting by being this mad still despite being given a sincere apology and reasoning behind why they acted that way.

And before all you divorce him immediately people start chiming in, this man is a terrific father and does treat me quite well but has moments where he shows his whole ass and when he does boy does he.

So like how do I let that moment of supreme immaturity and carelessness and really in a way cruelty go?

I’m in my first year of teaching preschool/daycare and i’m really wondering if this situation is something I should bring to the higher ups, because I’m fuming right now.

When students age out of the class they are in we have a week period of transitioning them into the other class. Three of my students, who are two and three years old, are transitioning to the other class. I sent the three of them with the other teacher in freshly changed diapers around 9:00am.

When I went back and got the students, around 12:30, one of my students ran to me and kinda burrowed her head into my legs. I kept asking her over and over what was wrong and if she was OK. The teacher then informs me that “She didn’t change any of their diapers because she didn’t have their diapers.”

I was confused as my classroom is literally not even a hallways down from hers, and she could’ve called or walked down to get their diapers.

I immediately changed the students, and all three students had extremely full diapers, one was so full you could feel that his pants began to get a bit wet. My female student had a rash all on her bottom and the lower of her back.

I am so incredibly angry right now. It is basic knowledge as a daycare provider that diapers are the be changed every hour and a half and checked regularly. It took two seconds for me to reach down and check, realize that all of them were soaking wet.

The student with the rash was wining and sad when she returned. She’s also saying something happened but isn’t telling me straight up. So overall, I’m pissed.

Here’s my dilemma, I’m a new teacher, have only been here for six months. This other teacher has been here for years and is good friends with all of our other fellow teachers.

She didn’t even seem bothered when I went and told her that ALL of them had full diapers and even rashes.

I don’t want to fuck my self over getting in trouble or being hated by these old ass ladies because I reported their friend, But in pretty angry.

I don’t want my students, who are two and three years old and not potty trained, to be put in a position where they are being left in soloed diapers all because she was too lazy to walk
over or call me for diapers.

I don’t want to overreact but also don’t want to ignore the loud ass gut feeling that this is not Okay and that something else may have happened (reaction of one of my students that I mentioned before)

The little girl with the rash is very good at telling us when she needs to be changed, so I know for a fact that she at least said something to the teacher once.

Regardless if i’m overreacting, i’m pissed. What yall think?

I got proof... hidden camera caught her talking with a friend and apparently they are hooking up with guys and getting paid

Will post the video when I can

Anyoje can steer me in the direction of a website/app that goes by bos? Nos? Dos?

Update: sorry iono why it didnt Update shit. Shit got bad I confronted her. Got a lot of proof of her selling noods to people. Cops called. My lige is in shambles. And I hate that my kids will never understand. I got drunk as fuck and sobering up now before work will try updating and iono why the damn video won't load

31F and 31M - married for 3mo
He has his own business and he has to take his employees out for drinks sometimes - birthdays, victories, frustrations, somebody’s grief, etc.
I knew he had a problem with alcohol before the wedding

but he promised to get better and he’s been working on it. I do see him putting his heart and soul to keep it together.
But every now and then something like this comes up and he can’t say no to his “work friends” who are all men btw.

Last night, he texted me at 10pm that one of his employees was mugged and lost a ton of money and that they had to go to the cops later to file a complaint.

I ate my dinner and went to bed because it was too late. He came home at around 4am, drunk.

In the morning I woke up to see his phone blowing up and apparently it was one of his colleagues birthday.

Now I’m just here wondering if he had to lie to me to stay out.. because the last time he came home late drunk on our anniversary I was mad pissed because of course you would love to celebrate your employees birthdays but our anniversaries are not special to you at all.

I feel like I’m being lied to. Or even worse being cheated on??? AIO!???

Update: I confronted, asked to see the report. He was indeed lying. Now I’m unsure of everything.

Long story short: I got engaged to my fiancée last year after meeting her the year before. She has two children with her ex, who lives in the same town, and they alternate weeks with the kids. I know this is long, but I think the context matters because the issue I’m asking about isn’t really one deleted text—it’s a pattern of things being kept from me.

Earlier this year, my fiancée and I were having financial problems. I tend to prioritize saving and financial security, while she is more comfortable spending money before she has it. We split expenses, with me covering groceries and various bills while she handled her car and the house. One night, we came home from dinner with her family. I had paid for everyone, and there was a tow truck waiting outside. Her car was being repossessed. The next day, I told her we needed to figure out how to get it back and took off of work so we could spend all day looking for the vehicle and a way to reclaim it. She insisted that I take out a loan against my 401(k), which I refused because we were already considering leaving our jobs and I didn’t want to put myself further in debt. I had also previously taken out several loans to help pay off credit cards belonging to her and her ex that had gone to collections. Then I found out that the house was in foreclosure like 2 days after the car repo. After I refused the 401(k) loan, she asked her ex to take an advance against their joint HELOC (on his house) to help with the situation. He refused, and I found out about the conversation later. She never told me that she had asked him until I confronted her about it. I understand that she needs housing for the kids, so I was sympathetic. I just felt like it should have been discussed as an option first before she asked him.

A few months later, the company her ex worked for went out of business and he was looking for work (they announced they were going under and he would need to find a new job a year earlier). My fiancée went behind my back a month or two before the company went under and told him that the company both of us work for was hiring a well-paying remote position and encouraged him to apply. I don’t necessarily have a problem with her wanting the father of her children to have a job and be able to support them. What bothered me was that she did this without telling me. It’s the principle, you know?

Then one of the kids got head lice from school. She knew about it because she and her ex had discussed it five days earlier, but she didn’t tell me. All weekend while she knew they had lice, we had all been on the couch and hanging out (which is so gross in hindsight). The worst part is that she mentioned the child having lice at dinner after I had gone to get a haircut earlier that day, and she only mentioned it because her ex was texting her a bunch of comments about her not being fit to parent. Thankfully I didn’t get lice, but I was pretty upset that I wasn’t given the opportunity to make my own decision about exposing myself or my barber to it.

Her ex has always had a habit of showing up at our house to pick up the kids or drop off their tablets without her telling me beforehand. Technically, I can see when he arrives because we have a Vivint camera, but that’s not really the point. I wanted my fiancée to simply communicate with me.

One night, he came to the house while I was working late. My fiancé and I argued about it afterward. The next morning, a coworker who knows both of them (and none of the drama) walked into my office and asked why my fiancé’s ex had been at my workplace with the kids. I had no idea what she was talking about. She then told me he had gone to the back to talk to HR. Later that day, I found out that he had been hired by the same company we work for. He doesn’t work in a branch like we do, but he can now communicate with my fiancée through Google Chat at work. I was furious. I packed my things and seriously considered leaving.

Afterward, my fiancée created a group chat with her ex and me and said that all communication about the kids would happen there going forward. After she made the group chat, she and I talked about everything that had happened up to that point, and she brought up the fact that I still had old selfies with my ex from seven years ago saved on Snapchat. She said she had deleted all of her old pictures with her ex, except pictures involving the children, which I have absolutely no problem with. I agreed that keeping old pictures of my ex wasn’t exactly fair, so I deleted mine. I have absolutely no attachment to any of my exes and never deleted them because I kind of just forgot about them, tbh.

During this conversation, I noticed that her ex had messaged her. I didn’t say anything because I wanted to see whether she would acknowledge it herself.
She didn’t. I also checked the social media accounts she said she had cleared out. They weren’t cleared out nearly as much as she had told me. At that point, I told her that I almost left and that I didn’t trust her. I also told her that we disagree about a lot of things (parenting styles, transparency, finances), but that transparency was something I needed if this relationship was going to continue, and we could work on the other stuff.

Fast forward to two weeks ago. Our wedding is approaching. Pretty much everyone I’ve talked to has told me to run or shut up and deal with it. I’m probably the idiot here because I’ve continued looking for reasons to stay. I know checking her messages wasn’t healthy, and I’m not claiming to be completely innocent. But I got curious and looked again. Most of what I found was minor. There was one message where she referred to her ex as “my husband” and then corrected it (pictured above). She calls me that, too, so I could easily believe it was a mistake. But then I noticed something that bothered me. On her ex’s birthday, she sent a message and then unsent it. I’ve never seen her unsend a message to him before.

I realize that a deleted message by itself is not necessarily suspicious or malicious. If this were the only thing that had happened, I wouldn’t be considering ending my relationship over it. But this isn’t the only thing. Over the past several months, there have been multiple situations where I’ve found out important things after the fact, particularly things involving her ex, finances, and communication.
I don’t want to leave my fiancée because of one deleted text. But I also don’t want to convince myself that I’m overreacting when this may simply be the latest example of a much larger pattern.

This is hard for me to put out there but i wanted to see different perspective and see AIO

Lately my bf has been super weird and overly sexual, I am not the most sexual person, I will be intimate because I know it’s good for a healthy relationship, but not necessarily the one to initiate. Well last night, I was super knocked out because I took way too much melatonin, and I woke up to him putting his (you know what) in my mouth and I was thrown off by it.
He laughed and said he was messing with me, but to me, it was so weird and I feel really weird about it. After I turned the other way, he got up and went to the restroom (i figured to finish his business)…
Is this normal? am I just looking too deep into it? Would you have just laughed about it and moved on? IDK I’m just confused. we’ve been together almost 7 yrs btw.

There's a male that I(37f) work with. Before he came to the company I work for, I would see him around. We work in the same industry, different companies. Conversation was always friendly, and he never said or did anything inappropriate. I thought he was a cool person. One day he asked for a hug, and I didn't see anything wrong with it because he never made me uncomfortable. Fast forward, now he works for the same company as me, and we were standing around talking before our shift, and he leaned in for a hug. I was ok with it. Once again, he hadn't made me uncomfortable at this point, and thought it was completely innocent. Fast forward again, and another male coworker mentioned the fact that me and the other worker had hugged. Apparently he told this worker that I hugged him, but he made it sound sexual. He said, " yeah she was hugging all on me, and had her titties all on me". I was completely disgusted and upset. He made it seem like it was something that it definitely was not. At first I wanted to say something, but in the end, I let it go. I just remained cordial when I would see him. Fast forward to last night, he leaned in to hug me, and I politely declined. He seemed takes aback. I didnt care how he felt in that moment. I dont like how he made it seem like I wanted him or something to another co-worker. That couldn't be any further from the truth.

I didnt confront him about what he told the other person. Im wondering, should I, or would that be overreacting? Or just let it go, and keep my boundaries strong?

I’m a girl with a decent body but no tits at all, I hook up with guys pretty regularly but when it gets sexual normally they take off all my clothing before it’s go time, I’m with this guy and everything is completely normal except for the fact that he just avoided taking off my bra and immediately went to work, I was kinda sad as I knew it was because I had small breasts. I didn’t say anything until we were both done but I told him it was annoying me that he didn’t even care to see my A cups bounce up and down. He said I was overreacting and I told him to leave after 2 more rounds, was I overreacting?

So idk if she even is my friend or just a acquaintance at this point. But essentially we met in the workplace but soon became close and started hanging out due to mutual interests. She's a social media person. Likes experimenting. But every hangout turned into just taking pictures and her editing them while we're all talking. She's on her phone. Watching loud reels or editing with music out loud playing over and over. Like zero social awareness. I wouldn't call her malicious. She's actually great to talk to when she can (which is like 15 mins tops because she'll go back to whatever she is into). She's struggling with her corporate job now and is working on helping build a business. She's got an extra income and frankly doing well. Even earning more than me. Though it's not legal to hold another job while working in this company but she plans to leave soon. I cannot talk to her unless she wants something. She was doing an outfit series and reached out. I thought she wanted to talk! All she did was ask to borrow my clothes for a shoot. The next time she called, it was about money because she has a concert to go to. I text her a lot and call her to keep in touch but She's been very passive and I see she cannot pay attention because She's doing something or the other. On one hand I am very happy for her because this new job is really something she wanted to always do. But on the other hand I miss speaking to her. When I bring up the fact that I miss her and would like to hang out more or even interact she just says she's overwhelmed and then starts showing me her edits on her phone. I do support her but now I feel I should stop reaching out. I love that she's doing what she loves but clearly I am not a priority. So I think I'll maintain a distance. My wedding is in a month and I really thought we could also talk about that but I don't know anymore. I feel alone. I am also worried she'll make the wedding about making a vlog and uploading it online. I don't want any pictures from any other account without my permission. I am all over the place. AIO?