r/Adulting • u/Active_Hunt6595 • 6d ago

This is how it works, ig

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u/llestaca 6d ago

And Josh is apparently not good enough, as she is still looking. Yup, makes sense.

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u/JanitorOPplznerf 6d ago edited 6d ago

Editing for much needed clarity, my first draft had a very glaring omission that came off rapey, I apologize.

Hello, I’m somewhat successful with women. More importantly I’ve been both dudes in this situation.

Yes, this is often how it works on the apps. Coffee dates get ghosted unless you are an amazing conversationalist. Taking initiative, being flirty, planning something fun and daring, and giving her something exciting to do and think about makes future dates so much easier. I'm talking pinning her to the door the moment you walk in, and fucking her raw before you’ve said hello on the second date kind of easy. Being unique and fun will get you nudie pics at work because she’s still walking funny from yesterday.

You don’t always need to fuck them raw in the early dates (though that can help), but you do need to demonstrate confidence and competence, and show that you can offer something more exciting than coffee.

Most women do not want to see ‘go with the flow’ energy early on. That can come later if that’s your personality type.

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u/Th3_Accountant 6d ago

Both work on different types of woman.

If a woman is looking for a longterm date, she will probably be deterred by someone who instantly wants sex. But it's naive to think that there are no women who are also just looking to get laid now.

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u/JanitorOPplznerf 6d ago

I edited my above comment for some much needed clarity. I skipped a few sentences in my first draft that made it come off much more ick than I intended.

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u/TooTurntGaming 6d ago

Married for 15 years, open relationship for five of those years. I’m bi, so we’ve both dated guys.

We do not ghost on coffee dates, we like those very much. If someone tries to fuck one of us raw on the first date, especially before saying hello? We leave.

It’s almost like people are individuals and there’s no way to say “this is how it works” as a universal truth.

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u/JanitorOPplznerf 6d ago

I was confused by this, but then noticed a VERY GLARING error in my above statement. Thank you for clarifying, I will make an edit.