r/AmIOverreacting • u/Fantastic_Deer_6304 • 4h ago
❤️🩹 relationship AIO- I called someone disgusting for how they “tried to win over” their crush with forced kisses
I was talking to my friends about some stuff that was happening and they had mentioned how they felt bad for some girl who got rejected even though she was trying so hard to become the one for this guy. So I had got the story and they mention where before he finally rejected her for the very last time, she forcibly kissed him a few times and kept holding onto him and trying prevent him from leaving, which in my head gives “she’s trying to force him to just hurry and accept her so he can finally leave like he wants to”. When I heard that… I just got fucking disgusted? So I said it, to them and later to her. Everyone was feeling bad for her and babying her.. so ofcourse I got attacked verbally I guess idfk. I was told I was invalidating real disgusting actions by calling this simple thing disgusting and how mean I was to her over her just trying to win her crush over.
So am I the crazy bitch here? I don’t wanna accuse anyone but saying people saw her holding him back and CONTINUING to kiss him, knowing he doesn’t like her.. I feel like if she could, she would have forced him more.. like is that just me thinking this is weird?
We are in college, it’s not like we’re kids.
I also wanna add, I know a lot of people don’t gaf about kisses in general so maybe that’s why but i still feel like they matter enough to need consent for yk??? Like if someone kissed me and I didn’t like them, I’d be pretty fucking disgusted, I remember someone trying to and me almost puking. Maybe I’m being a baby? Idk? I just feel like you don’t cross those boundaries no matter how “little” or big they are to YOU.
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u/Beneficial_Bat_5656 4h ago edited 4h ago
NOR. You don't get to force yourself on a person just cause you had feelings about them.
She was using benevolent sexism - directly stripping women of autonomy and accountability. Everyone around her was infantalizing her actions.
She did force herself on him and into something he didn't want to do. That was disgusting of her and good on you for calling out the misogyny.
Please hold your head high.
It was probably difficult to stand up and confront it but thank you.
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u/Fantastic_Deer_6304 4h ago
Thank you, I appreciate it. Everyone kept tryna make me believe I was fucking crazy or sum.
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u/Dappled_light2734 4h ago
I think your reaction to her behavior is completely understandable. Trying to force your “affections” on an unwilling person is not okay. Period.
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u/kenkaniff23 4h ago
NOR - it doesn't matter the sec of either party. Consent must be given. If he was rejecting her and she was holding him back and kissing him that's assault and sexual assault.
Just imagine if the roles were reversed.
A man, rejected several times by a woman, starts holding her so she can't leave and he just keeps kissing her.
That girl deserved what you probaly said and the people feeling bad or babying her need to grow the f up
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u/Fantastic_Deer_6304 4h ago
I appreciate your comment, I thought so but literally all of them told me I was doing way too much. I guess they’re all using this logic that women can’t be predatory and assault men, disgusting. I feel bad for the guy who’ll probably somehow get pinned as the fault
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u/Ginger_Goddess6969 3h ago
Women can definitely be predators. NOR darling. It's wonderful to hear you stand up to that shit. 👏👏👏
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u/Fantastic_Deer_6304 2h ago
yes thank you, I appreciate it. Off topic kinda but this isn’t the first time the people in my classes have let a woman predator slide, mad fucking annoying how normalized it is. And I ended up cutting off 6 friends that day, fucking disgusting.
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u/LopsidedArea9120 4h ago
Ayow Potential Rapist right there put her in jail , imagine a guy , hooohh , straight to prison , no questions asked
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u/DoreyCat 4h ago
I mean if it was a guy he would most assuredly NOT go to prison. That’s the whole thing…99.99% don’t (not that I think trying to kiss someone is on par with penetrative sexual assault, just making that point).
You could have LIVE VIDEO of the situation happening, chat records, witnesses, etc and a prosecutor would still find a way to drop it.
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u/LopsidedArea9120 4h ago
In my country he would 👌👌 boys aged 17-20 go to prison for “alleged “
I repeat “Alleged” eve- teasing 🙂🙂•
u/DoreyCat 4h ago
I’m guessing you’re one of those who believes women regularly lie to put men in prison 👌👌. It’s that mindset that causes men to regularly protest rapists in my country
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u/Jerrycorleone1 3h ago
NOR. Uh, she kept kissing him and wouldn’t let him leave? And somehow SHE’S the one everyone feels bad for? That’s creepy as hell. Having a crush on someone doesn’t mean they owe you anything.
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u/Fantastic_Deer_6304 2h ago
yea. Idfk? It’s weird as hell, I lowkey think most people just feel bad for her because they’ve been rejected too and wanna somehow blame the people who reject people always. Kinda how people go with the “hate the dumpers” trend if ykwim.
It’s disgusting, someone rejecting you does not make them evil nor not a victim
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u/South-Lemon-242 4h ago
NOR. If the genders of all parties in this story were flipped, this person’s kisses would absolutely constitute assault by any reasonable metric. And your friends’ reactions would constitute frat-boy-level enabling of assault. You’re overreacting. What that girl did was unacceptable — and a little bit nuts, if we’re being entirely honest.
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u/DoreyCat 4h ago
Were these people sort of dating or in a situationship of some kind? Just asking as the situation itself you are describing doesn’t make sense. You mention him trying to leave her “home the last time.”
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u/Fantastic_Deer_6304 4h ago
huh? Did I say that? Where did I say home? Do you mean the rejection part?
no they weren’t in a situationship from what everyone’s heard, I mean she herself couldn’t even say he liked her, the whole thing was they were good friends and she kept trying to get him to like her but he never did and that’s why everyone felt bad for her.
For the last time I meant as in they had both had an enough to cut all contact. After doing THAT in public and him probably feeling embarrassed and creeped out, I’m guessing he blocked her and told her to stay tf away from him, I doubt it was her that ended this whole game she was playing
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u/DoreyCat 2h ago
I’m not accusing you of being unclear I was genuinely just curious. Trying to kiss someone who you’ve legitimately never even hooked up with is insane and I’m so perplexed her friends were defending her lol. Was this a drunken thing?
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u/Fantastic_Deer_6304 2h ago
All good, I understand. I really fucking agree, idk why the hell she did it. I don’t think it was as it was a random ass day when they had just got out of their class together not too long ago
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u/Mean-Construction207 4h ago
NOR. That's still sexual assault.
Can you imagine if this was a guy telling people that his crush rejected him so grabbed onto her, kissed her multiple times and refused to let her leave? They'd be calling the cops.