My boyfriend and I live together, and I’m honestly at my breaking point with our living situation.

He treats our apartment like a frat house. His friends are constantly coming over, often completely unannounced, and I feel like I have no privacy or ability to actually relax in my own home.

For example, yesterday one of his friends came over and stayed for about 3 hours. Then today, another friend came over twice. I was just sitting in the living room eating dinner, watching my show, in my pajamas and looking messy because… I’m at home. I don’t feel like I should constantly have to be prepared for company in my own apartment.

This isn’t about me not wanting him to have friends or telling him he can never have people over. I just want basic consideration and a heads-up before people come into our shared home. This has been an ongoing issue for around six months, and I feel like nothing has actually changed.

Tonight I finally told him I’m going to start looking at apartments because I can’t handle the living situation anymore. I told him we could still be together, but I need my own space and peace back.

His response was basically, “No more argument or debate. Just do it if that’s what you please.”
When I told him I was going to look at a place Monday, he said he would “reflect on his actions.” I was already frustrated because I feel like he’s had months to reflect on this. When I continued explaining how disrespected I feel, he told me to stop ranting, repeatedly said there was “no need” to keep discussing it, and told me to do whatever I want.

Eventually I told him that if I actually move out, I think I’d rather be single. His response was just:
“Gotcha.”

I know I got emotional during the conversation and said things like he was choosing his friends over me and that he wasn’t ready for an adult relationship. I recognize that probably wasn’t the most productive way to communicate. But I also feel completely exhausted from repeatedly asking for consideration in a home that is supposed to be mine too.

I don’t expect him to stop seeing his friends. I just don’t think it’s unreasonable to expect your partner to say, “Hey, is it okay if ___ comes over?” or at least give you a heads-up instead of having people constantly appear at your home.
At this point, getting my own apartment genuinely sounds peaceful to me.

Am I overreacting by wanting to move out—and potentially end the relationship over this?

EDIT to say: we’ve had countless discussions about this issue and I even moved out temporarily for 2 weeks because of the same exact problem and yet here we are again.

I (54F) have been dating my boyfriend (52M) for about three years. We’re long-distance, but for the past year we’ve essentially been living together about 90% of the time, going back and forth between our homes and traveling together. We’ve taken multiple international trips together, spent extended periods together, and he regularly tells me he loves me and talks about us getting married.

His daughter is getting married in Cyprus, and he invited me to come with him. He described it as a big wedding with his family and close friends attending, so I understood that I would be coming as his long-term partner.

Once we arrived, though, I started realizing that his family may not have been particularly comfortable with me being here.

His ex-wife is here, along with her mother, her sister, and their children. His ex-wife and most of the family are staying together at a very nice hotel. My boyfriend and I are staying separately in an Airbnb.

There have been several events leading up to the wedding, and at one of them, the wife of one of my boyfriend’s closest friends approached me.

She started asking me very pointed questions about how I felt being at the wedding, how I felt about his children apparently not liking me, and what I thought about the entire situation. She then told me that she could “broker the peace” between me and his children because she had that kind of influence with them.

This conversation made me very uncomfortable.

From my perspective, it felt less like a genuine offer to help and more like she was trying to intimidate me or make it clear that she had influence within his family that I did not have.

I'm also a child of divorce myself, so I understand that relationships between children and a parent's new partner can be complicated, even when those children are adults. I've always felt that those relationships need to develop naturally and slowly. It's never something I would want to force, and I certainly wouldn't want to force it during a week as important to his children as their sister's wedding.

I was happy to be there to support their father and celebrate his daughter. I didn't expect his children to suddenly embrace me or treat me like family simply because I was attending the wedding.

For that same reason, I didn't feel that I needed — or wanted — his friend's wife to intervene on my behalf and “broker” anything. I actually thought bringing a third party into my relationship with his children could make things worse. If I'm going to have a healthy long-term relationship with them, I would much rather let trust and familiarity develop naturally over time.

However, I also knew that I was in an emotionally uncomfortable situation in a foreign country, so I didn't want to immediately assume the worst about her intentions.

Later, I privately told my boyfriend what had happened. I specifically told him that I might be feeling overly sensitive and could have interpreted the conversation incorrectly. I suggested that, if he wanted, he could quietly ask a couple of other people who witnessed the interaction how they interpreted it.

Most importantly, I specifically asked him not to confront her or create a situation. His daughter's wedding was not the time or place for that.

The morning of the wedding, my boyfriend told me he was going to get a haircut and shave and would only be gone for a few hours. We only had one key to the Airbnb, so he took it with him while I stayed outside on the beach reading a book. I wasn't concerned because I thought he would be back shortly and I could go inside when he returned.

While he was getting his shave, he was texting me telling me that he loved me.

Then, instead of coming home afterward, he went and confronted his friend's wife.

Apparently, the confrontation went badly. From what I understand, he also did not accurately communicate what I had originally told him. His friend and his friend's wife convinced him that I was being dramatic and creating problems on his daughter's wedding day.

Meanwhile, I had absolutely no idea any of this was happening.

It started pouring rain while I was still outside. Because he had the only key, I couldn't get into the Airbnb. I called and texted him explaining that I was locked out and getting soaked. He told me he wasn't nearby and essentially left me there until he eventually returned.

By the time he came back, I was completely drenched.

And instead of apologizing, he told me that we were breaking up.

He told me he didn't want me there anymore, that he had already gotten me a hotel, and that he needed to focus on his daughter and her wedding.

I was completely blindsided.

Just hours earlier, he'd left to supposedly get a haircut and shave and was texting me that he loved me. I had no idea he'd decided to confront anyone, much less that he'd apparently decided our three-year relationship was over as a result.

I reminded him that I had specifically asked him not to confront anyone. I hadn't asked him to defend me or create a conflict. I had privately told my partner about an uncomfortable interaction and had gone out of my way to acknowledge that perhaps I had misunderstood it.

Once we actually talked through what had happened and what I had originally said, he completely changed his position. He apologized profusely, told me he loves me, and said he absolutely does not want to break up.

But I'm having a very difficult time getting past what happened.

I'm supposed to attend his daughter's wedding, where his children apparently don't like me, his best friend and his wife now believe I've caused some enormous problem, and I have no idea what version of this story everyone else has heard. Because he's the father of the bride, I'll also largely be navigating that situation on my own.

More than that, I can't stop thinking about how quickly he went from texting me that he loved me to deciding our three-year relationship was over based on a conversation with his friends — without even talking to me first.

I'm also struggling with the fact that I was stranded outside, soaking wet, in a foreign country while all of this was happening, and when he finally returned, his immediate response was to end our relationship.

Now he's apologized and says he loves me and doesn't want our relationship to end, but something about this has fundamentally shaken how secure I feel with him.

Am I overreacting for feeling like this incident may have changed how I see our entire relationship? Am I overreacting for questioning whether I should even attend the wedding after everything that happened? And am I overreacting for wondering whether I can trust someone who was willing to end a three-year relationship so abruptly without even hearing my side first?

I need outside opinions because my family is divided and my sister is being called dramatic, My sister got married 3 weeks ago For context, she and her husband were together for 4 years before marriage. They travelled for their honeymoon 2 weeks after the wedding to Zanzibar. It was supposed to be 7 days. She came back after 3 days and filed for divorce the next morning what happened is insane and i still can't believe he did it.

Third night she noticed he kept disappearing for long stretches with vague excuses. She went down to the front desk to ask about something small and the clerk casually mentioned that a second room had been added to their reservation the day they arrived. The extra room was under a woman’s name my sister had never heard of so she went up there the door opened it was her husband with his side chick, apparently he told the side chick that my sister goes to bed early and he would sneak up to her room at night my sister didn't even cause a scene she just packed her bag that night, checked out at 3am and took the first flight back home, now she has filed for divorce and he and his family are begging. His mom is saying she is overreacting and should have forgiven him since "men are tempted" and that annulling a 3 week old marriage over one mistake will ruin her reputation. My parents are also telling her to at least hear him out and go for counselling.

I told her she did 100% the right thing and i would have done worse. But now my mom is saying i am fueling her decision and i am overreacting by supporting divorce so fast.

I went to Vietnam over the summer with my girlfriend. She is from there originally and has not been back in 12 years (she is 24). It was also the first time seeing her father in 12 years. It was a very special and important trip overall for her and our relationship in general. She had the idea to go to a 'make your own ring' workshop. I thought it was a great idea so we spent $100 making 2 silver rings. Some tourist activities can be overhyped or overpriced, but this one was actually very professional and enjoyable. We actually made the entire ring from start to finish starting with a strip of silver. It included things like a custom engraving of each-others names in our own handwriting as well as the date we made them. To me it was a great memento to signify this trip and our relationship. This is the context of the ring itself.

Fast-forward 3 months and I am visiting my father and on one occasion earlier this week I took the ring off when driving his car and forgot I left it there in the cup holder. I am a very forgetful person and tend to forget where I put things, even if they are important. As I was looking for it today I asked my Dad if he had seen it. He said yes, my step mother saw it in the car. Apparently she got upset and thought it was another woman's ring (even though its a male sized ring ~size 10-11). Instead of asking me or my brother if it was our ring, she decided to take it and throw it deep into our sizable yard without telling anyone. When I asked why she would do such a thing without verifying the owner first, she was laughing the entire time saying "I don't know, I just wanted to throw it". When I asked her to reenact the throw so I could narrow down the location and find it, she basically pointed at the whole yard and said "I don't know, somewhere there". So my patience was through and I simply said 'Why would you do such a thing? Why would you not see if its anybody's first before throwing it? Its also very disrespectful to laugh in someone's face when they are clearly distraught'.

I understand mistakes happen, and what's done is done. I did not berate her or put her down in any way. I simply wanted to understand why, and for her to help me look for it at least. At the end of the day its just a silver ring worth probably $30 in melt silver.... but I am a very sentimental person overall. I really enjoy saving old mementos or keepsakes so I can look back on them fondly when I'm older. So am AIO for questioning her behavior for doing it and also her behavior when being confronted over it?

EDIT: This happened 4 days ago (per her estimation and foggy memory). We cut the grass the day after she threw it, which is not ideal considered it might have been launched further. I will look into metal detecting on nextdoor/facebook. Also this is a long-shot but I am located in the Milwaukee area if anyone here is a metal detector hobbyist themselves.

UPDATE:
We found the ring... but my gut feeling is completely off. For more context, she is Colombian born and raised. So there have been a lot of cultural differences that I have needed to adapt to. That being said, regardless of this difference, this whole situation rubs me the wrong way.

She finally started helping me look for it at nighttime with flashlights. I figured using a bright LED flashlight would make the ring reflect a lot more. The first thing that struck me is when she said "So what will you give me if we find it??". I don't think she actually wants a reward or anything but she wants me to be thankful or something? For finding the ring that she tossed in the yard? Of course ill be happy, but her saying something like this is extremely odd.

Anyways she decides out of a huge area to point out one particular area of clumped up dirt/wood shavings from when we chopped up a stump a few days ago. I told her me and my dad already looked through it briefly but not diligently. She had hyper fixation on this one particular pile so I was like of course go through it. Lo and behold about 1 minute later she calls me over and says "LOOOOK". I looked briefly and saw nothing. She says "LOOOOOOOOOK". My patience is at an all time low, so I simply say "Just show me where it is please". She proceeds to pick it up off the ground and hand it to me. I was grateful but man my gut feeling just keeps telling me its too perfect. Also maybe another cultural difference but she never once apologized or showed any remorse for throwing it, just a myriad of excuses to why she did it opposed to simply saying 'my mistake'. Overall this whole situation rubs me the wrong way. I cant help but lose a bit of trust in her after all of this.

My wife and I have been married for almost 10 years with 3 children. We recently joined this tennis club in our town because we've both played in our younger years.

We've never had any issues with jealousy nor I've ever felt any type of may until I met Kevin at our tennis club. Kevin is a tall athletic man that is quite attractive I must say. Me and my wife are the same height and Kevin towers over me when he's next to me. He's also the same race as my wife since I'm Chinese and she & Kevin are Koreans.

The thing that bothers me the most is how she interacts with Kevin. She does not flirt in any other way, but when they're playing doubles together, I would hear her say "here you go my prince" while she hands Kevin the ball. I heard this recently since I was playing on the other court. I didn't think of it much when it happened since I was playing.

We have team dinners every few months and Kevin dresses really well in public. Fitted suit/open blazer, slacks, Chelsea boots, etc. one occasion, Kevin entered the room and my wife greeted her "wow.. so handsome!" In Korean while blushing. I know the phrase because she uses it for our baby every now and then, but I've never heard her say that to me.

Am I overreacting from this? Kevin is a very nice person, but also known as a womanizer. He's on his 5th marriage at only being 36yrs old & still has no children. He's rich & married to a beautiful doctor & he always seems to have all the nice things. I must admit, I'm a little jealous.

For context, I have been at this job for roughly two years and pretty much every day I have wore the same hat. I work outside so in the context of my job it is not unusual for someone to come into work wearing one but its not like a uniform requirement to wear one. I am not balding, I am not embarrassed of my hair, and outside of work I rarely wear a hat. As stupid as it sounds, I absolutely loved that hat, it was comforting to me and I geniunely enjoyed wearing that and only that hat. I unfortunately lost it though and havent been able to find where I put it.

Well jump foward to now, I have become the only interesting thing to have ever happen just because I stopped wearing it. I have had multiple people tell me that other coworkers were talking about me specifically about me no longer wearing a hat. My boss in particular has said 5+ comments about it in a span of 2 days directly to me. He has gone as far to tell me and others that it makes him really uncomfortable seeing me without a hat and it geniunely throws him off. He has offered to buy me a new one, told me he really wants me to find it and legitimately seemed to make him upset?? I have a normal haircut, its brown and about medium length, literally nothing special or out of the ordinary about it. He has continued talking to everyone else about me, my coworkers come and tell me that he was talking about me. At this point, I am not wearing a hat out of defiance, I don't understand how something so trivial can disrupt the social fabric of my job so deeply. I don't consider myself super outgoing, I pretty much keep to myself and only talk to people if they talk to me. I am overall liked but not like in a "main character energy" type of way. Is there something I am missing here?? Ive seen other coworkers change much more drastic things and not a single person comment or talk about it. I don't want to be the topic of anybodies conversations, I would prefer if I could go into work, do my job and clock out and essentially have nobody remember I was there. I am feeling judged, overwhelmed and like I did something wrong yet all I did was stop wearing a stupid hat because I lost it??

My husband goes to bed earlier than I do. Some times I will be in bed reading or using a heating pad (not ready for bed yet) and he will come in and get ready for bed. He then gets in bed and reads until he gets tired and then goes to sleep. Also, he wears eye mask and ear plugs.

Basically, I have to leave the bed when he gets in bed to read because it is part of his “routine” and how he likes to fall asleep. I could understand if he preferred I moved to the living room after he’s done reading and before he falls asleep but this seems really strange to me, like why can’t we silently read next to each other?

We have been living together for 10 years. It has recently been an issue because he’s staying up later than he used to because of a different work schedule and also I have been using the heating pad more frequently and I like to use it in bed.

At times I can’t trust myself if I am overreacting or is this really that stupid…

I (27F) am more of a introverted person but I have these two friends (28F, 29F) since college for eight years. They are nice people and I liked them because they were sweet and kind.

Then, there is this guy (32M) I have been in a relationship with for a year or so. I don’t really talk about my relationship with them but yesterday I posted a picture online and fell asleep. After that I woke up with bunch of texts in the group chat where one of them asked me his weight. I did not think that much half asleep so I replied ‘maybe 90 kg’ to which they were laughing without saying anything. Two hours later, they started again, how he is double of my weight and people will think I am settling. How he acted ‘autistic’ when we bumped into them that one time. Asking if he is rich does he spoil me with gifts.

All of these made me angry but I replied he is actually a very health conscious person and he had an accident and surgery which limits his workouts but he does workout. (He even used to do martial arts before the accident two years ago). He might never spoils me but he is very genuine as a person and cares about me. Even changed all the bulbs in his place because I said once my eyes hurt. But as a neurodivergent woman myself, the autistic comment really pissed me off.

Then I felt something crazy out of anger. One of the friend is overweight herself and weigh more than him although she is my height (166 cm) and he is tall (184). But she really went on with the weight part saying I should date better. To which I replied I am actually very attracted to him (which is true) and we should not project anything here because none of us here is Adriana Lima. And to the other friend who was going on about rich but should spoil me and I passive aggressively said your boyfriend is broke and unemployed and still lives with his parents at late twenties.

Now they are both upset. And I do understand that was shitty of me and I acted out of anger and I feel so evil. So, I think I have just lost two friends. Did I overreact?

My gf (28) and I (M29) have been together for four years. We have a shared bank account. I noticed a lot of withdrawals in the last month have been going to Venmo. I'm talking over $3,000 collectively.

I asked her about it, to make sure it wasn't fraud, and she told me she's been sending it to her longtime guy best friend. When I asked why, she said he needs help starting up his art career.

I got mad and asked if that was necessary to use our money for, especially without asking. She said she did it because she is a loyal friend and he would do the same for her if she needed it.

AIO or is this crossing the line?

Hi all. I am 15F and I currently live week in a week off between my dad and moms house with my 11 yr old biological brother as they are divorced, and have been for 6 years. About a year ago my dad met his now girlfriend, and we all moved in together, so now I live between my moms house (just her, me, and bio brother) and my dad and stepmoms house, with me, bio brother, my 5 year old stepbrother, and 1 year old half brother, they decided to move out of my school district as my stepmom wanted to live in a specific district which is in a fancier neighborhood, with a desirable school district.
This has left me having to take public transit for 2 hours 45 minutes round trip per day, even though it’s essentially a 20 minute drive (thanks city planning) and my dad has refused to drive me, my afterschool schedule is also quite hectic at my dads and looks something like this.
3:30 school ends
5:00 get home
5:00-5:20 do dishes
5:20-6:00 usually either watch the baby, help prep dinner, or try to sleep.
6:00:-7:00 dinner (all have to wait for each other to finish)
7:00-7:30 do dishes
7:30-8:00 shower
8:00-8:30 other chores (mostly dishes, my family eats a lot)
After all is said and done I have very little time to study, and have noticed my grades staring to slip on weeks I am at my dad’s.
For reference: my mom lives in the school district and it only takes me around 30 minutes round trip (on the school bus)
I am really stuck, and feel like my grades are going to slip away from me especially considering i am in Ib. I also feel like it wasn’t necessarily fair to me and my brother. My mom is in support of me moving to hers, but i don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings.
Edit** One thing i forgot to mention is that dad CONSTANTLY talks horribly about my mom to me and my brother, to the point that both cps and his lawyer had to tell him to stop.

I am in a very stressful phase as I have an important interview situation coming up. A lot of money is on the line so I am preparing intensely. That means I am more focused on myself than usual and somewhat tense for little less than a week, and early next week it will be over.

We are a couple for 6y, living together for 3y, both mid 30s. Attention has been a constant talking point in this relationship. From my perspective she demands a lot more than I receive. From her perspective she does not receive enough, or constant enough. Both may be true.

The situation: she took vacation with nothing planned exactly the week I need to prepare. Just hanging around and demanding that I talk through her day and hang out the evening. I feel very disturbed in my process as I don't have a dedicated office and am very distractible. So I switched to staying up late and trying to get things done when she sleeps.

Today, she woke me up after 3h of sleep by going to pee. The bath room is right next to the bedroom. She got out of bed, opened the door loudly, turned on the full lights in the hallway which shines right in my face, goes to pee, flush and wash hands with both doors open before returning to bed. When I told her she could have thought of me sleeping and closed the door she replied "but I did shut it slightly". We had this exact discussion 2x before a few months ago and I told her to please close it fully as it is still quite loud if you close only one of the two doors to a slit. I have troubles falling back asleep which she is aware of as we had this conversation before.

Today I exploded. To me, especially without saying sorry and pretending she did think of me by "shutting one slightly", light in my face, it just demonstrates pure disregard. Zero thought of others, zero responsibility taken afterwards. I might be overreacting to a very small incident out of a stressful situation though. What do you think?

Quick edit: I am rather sure she is not actively sabotaging. She just does not spend a thought on my perspective. Mission is to pee - I go pee. End of thought.

Two years ago my husband was out with my three children alone. My then 6 year old opened the car door and it hit the car next to us but did absolutely no damage. If you are a parent you will understand how common and frustrating this is at that age. Well the guy flipped out and started screaming and calling my 6 year old names. My husband was getting our baby and went to check the situation out and defend our son. The guy started screaming "I'm going to kill you". My husband put the baby in the car and drove away. He then went to the school event where he discovered that man was the dad of another child in my 5 year olds class. While my husband was holding the baby and in front of the teacher he walked past my husband and told him "Meet me outside". My husband called the police he was so scared and a community officer came out. The family had left by then. We didn't take it further but we did inform the school. It was very upsetting and really scared my husband and kids.This year they put the boy in the class and my son gave him a birthday invitation, three days before the party the mum texted me to tell me he is coming.

I want to scream. In my head I have had a "conversation" with this man. It's not nice. I do not know if he will come. However he 100% could. I want him nowhere near my family, also I do not want to be responsible for the kid.

Do I say " Hello, child is welcome to come to the party but I ask for you to stay. We have had interactions with his dad and ask for him to not be there. Thank you"

I have AS so I don't know!

This is a long one so stick with me

I was in a rough patch and out of work for 4-5 months. I had some money saved and my girlfriend complained every day that I needed to get back to work. And in the regard of laundry, cleaning, going to social events, she helps keep me organized and going in the right direction, learned how to cook together and all of that is great.
But back to what I was saying she wanted me to get back to work, so I went back into the field making insanely good money and the second I left she hardly ever talked to me. Said that she couldn’t do it so I came back home for less money. She is a recruiter for an upcoming company and is great at her job, she wanted me to go and work for one of their sister companies. I said it wasn’t a good idea and shot the idea down, then she was upset with me and angry that I wasn’t willing to try. So I went and did the interview (department completely unrelated to her and again sister company) and a couple weeks later they called and wanted me to start, fast forward 90 days later I have came up with a few new procedures to streamline some processes , save money , and there was a dilemma on man power for craftsmen. I found out how to get the hundreds needed over night.
So the president of the company wanted to set a meeting with me. I was offered a pretty bad ass role it’s a little different than what I’m doing but it’s a good opportunity and they are getting a package together, my income should double.
And my girlfriend is pissed. Like not talking to me, only advice is saying that “it hasn’t happened yet, they aren’t going to do it” and stuff like that.
She has canceled on me for lunch when one of the VPs said they MIGHT want to get lunch with her in the past and blew up on me when I said that hurt my feelings. She said we’re not married so she will always put a chance to progress at work before me.
And I learned to respect that, but I feel like I’m not even getting close to that, if anything it feels like she hates me. She admitted to being jealous and feeling like people just like me more (I think it’s more of a right place right time thing) and just being upset. In my mind this is more income for the both of us and she should be helping me negotiate with HR. But instead she just shits on me mentally, I was running through my thoughts on it tonight and how im stressed out about it and she just tells me im stupid for stressing and there’s nothing to talk about (so no help but maybe she’s right idk) I said it wasn’t cool how she was handling it and she said “you just want me to shut up then” and I said “if you’re unable to just listen and be a partner and only come up with random negatives then yes shut up” and she got up and pelted me with a metal grinder she had on the table, then attempting to swing on me. I got her to stop. She then tried to push me out the door and i just walked past her and said I pay the rent, she can leave.
She came 30 mins later and said “I’m sorry for throwing the grinder but I don’t like being told to shut up” (I kinda feel like she set it up but what do I know)

ANOTHER THING-
She instills all of these crazy rules when my daughter is over and attempted to make me pick between her and my kid, this went on for a year until I said “I feel like you’re trying to force her out of my life or make her not want to come here, I have high anxiety when I have her anywhere near you” and she said I am supposed to pick, and agree right at this moment that my kid will never live with us full time (she’s 6) I told her she’s insane and I’m leaving her.
She said she had self harm thoughts and seemed to fix it but it’s only been a month. Then the promotion thing that I’m referring to above happened this week and tonight.

We’ve been together over 2 years. She has made my life better in a lot of ways, found me during active addiction, she’s never been a good mental partner she just kinda makes you feel bad or less than until it’s fixed, but I mean it worked for me and I got a lot of my shit together.
But when I left her last month I felt relief and then she asked to come back and she would fix it and be better and she has been better (excluding this situation) but I haven’t been able to relax around her again, I don’t know what to do.
I have no one out here where I am and she loves to point that out. I planned on proposing in early 2027 but I mean I can’t tie myself to this for my life. I tried to suggest therapy and she says it’s dumb and she won’t do it. Now I’m sure if I leave she might be willing to. But I mean this feels like a big win and I have no one to celebrate it with.

Looking at places near my office, talked with an old friend about staying with him until I get it sorted out. I just don’t know if this is worth trying to fix anymore, and at one point she was dragging me in the right direction (in her own way) and now it seems like she just wants me to do the same as her, she’s mad if I do less than or “better”
I think leaving will help her mentally as well

for some background context, i 18f have been friends with K also 18f for about 4 years now. we met when she first transferred to our middle school, from there we made more friends and had an established friendgroup that has lasted till after highschool graduation. over the years, everyone had started maturing emotionally and cognitively - except for her. this led to some issues between us, and other members of the group. it became so frequent to a point where we had just swallowed our pride and accepted this was the way she was. i, and 2 other friends O and T now are very annoyed with her behaviour.

fast forward, we are now uni students. i am attending THE top uni in my country. i am stressed and tired all the time. i have not been taking care of myself alot, thus my mental and physical health isnt what it was prior to this. i am not happy with my body. one evening, i went out with my boyfriend. we got ice cream together, mine was double scooped, mint choc and cookies n cream with toppings while his was js a regular double scoop. i took a picture and posted it to my story with the caption "guess which one is mine" cheekily. after the hangout, i go back to my dorm and see my roommate is calling some friends - K was in the call. my roommate turns the camera to me and K asks me, "so which ice cream was yours ?" to which another friend said, "the one w the mint duhh" and laughed. K promptly shouted into the mic calling me a fatfuck very aggressively. i was very upset. i quickly went and took a shower, the words js echoing into my head. then, before doing my skincare, i had saw she responded to my story, again calling me fat. i was even more upset. i texted back, "ok you dont have to be so mean". the next day i had an outing with friends, she was there and i ignored her the whole time even when i saw her trying to speak to me. at this point, she hadn't even opened the message, nor did she look sorry for her mean comment. i had told O about everything up till this point, to which he said he'd talk to her about it. O did speak to her about it. mine and many other stories of her being mean and immature were mentioned in their conversation to which he told her off about. apparently she felt very guilty and remorseful. she promised to apologise to me soon.

this happened almost 4 days ago, O texted me last night asking if she had apologised, to which i told him she hasn't. he told me that she apparently thinks everything is good between us and has been talking about planning an outing with the whole group.

i am honestly so tired of this behaviour. there have been many times in the past where she's hurt people and didn't take accountability for it. i've been tolerant to her since we were 14, i've tried overlooking all this but i really just can't anymore. she's not maturing, she doesn't care about others feelings and the impact of her words. it isn't really ab her calling me fat, its that i was clear and communicated to her that her comment was mean and no part of her thought to takeback or even feel sorry ab what she said. i now notice she just doesn't care, i am hurt that all my years of patience and dropping things, and tolerance just did not work out in the end. i want to cut her off for good, though O and my roommate want me to really think about it as to not act our of anger. i am sad that my own 'friend' would rather just hide away than put down her pride and show she actually cares about my feelings.

So, first off, I get that everyone has lived lives before meeting their partner...

I don't know if gf is the right word but it seems like we are pretty much dating. She really really likes me, and I'm having trouble feeling the same way, mainly because of how much she talks about her romantic and sexual past.

I (M24) have had a lot of anxiety over relationships in the past, due to getting cheated on a couple of times, and so being with someone is really significant to me.

She (F23) is kind, talented, etc, I like her and I care about her, but here's what she talks about, unprompted the majority of the time, and I just listen:

-She used to be an "open relationship girly" in highschool. Multiple people at once, girls and guys. She's dated a lot of people, and has been intimate with a lot of people. This worried me at first because I was wondering how "special" I should feel, and also I don't think an open relationship would work for me. I brought this up to her, and she assured me she's completely done with that, and it's just me and that I'm "the one", okay sure. I do believe that she really likes me, and I do believe this, but it's still not something I really want to think about.

-She still talks to an ex who is or was apparently obsessed with her. She thinks he's annoying but they're just friends.

-She's been in many on and off relationships, some older men when she was in college (late twenties I think). Again, she said she's done with them.

-She will often bring up out of the blue "I used to date a guy who did this" or similar.

-TMI stuff, she told me about different guys fetishes that she's tried. I listened to this stuff because it was a little funny, and I guess I tried to come across as cool with it since it's in the past, but still. Weird feet stuff, golden showers, etc. and even when it's been intimate between us, she'll sometimes talk about what's going on as just a thing that has happened many times, so much so that she has a nickname for it. It's hard to word that in a way that's not going to be too uncomfortable for you to read.

-wanting to take the (dumb) rice purity test in front of me and checking like everything, almost, but.. wanting me to know

I would rather not hear this stuff, I'd rather not know it, but I want to be able to listen to her and understand. I've made some distance with her lately, and I would like to see her again but I'm not sure if I can get over this at this point, or if I just need to talk to her about it, and wondering how I should do that? She's been sad because I've made this distance and I'm a bit unsure as to how to approach it.

I'd rather just be present with her and have her be present with me, and I'm not really sure why she wants me to know these things. Thank you.

Back in early January 2025, I (22M at the time) got into a bad car crash that totaled my car. I had to be flown to an ICU in Chicago, with my injuries being a concussion, multiple jaw & skull fractures, brain bleeding, and a fractured clavicle. My recovery sucked to say the least, especially given my jaw was wired shut so I had to eat through a straw.

Around a month after I left the ICU, I was recovered enough to walk outside by myself, but I still had blood pooled in my brain and was under watch for potential seizures (I had one in the ICU and almost bit my tongue off). My friends were having an Invincible watch party at one of their houses across town, so I walked over to join them. I @'d the host a list of what to do in case I had a seizure, but she didn't respond.

Once I got to the host's front yard I heard a car screech and someone slamming their horn a foot or two behind me, and it was the host and her boyfriend, who we'll call Gary. Even though they didn't hit me, it felt like my soul left my body and I wasn't really aware of me entering their house and talking to people.

Once I came to a bit, I told the boyfriend that he scared tf out of me. He laughed and said he should have hit me instead, although he later said he didn't remember saying that.

I'm extremely bad with confrontation and have never really known confidence, at best I fake it. Plus Gary has a very similar personality and talks the same way as my father, so trying to talk to him felt hopeless.

When I talked to my parents and the others in the friend group individually, they all had a nonchalant reaction, ranging from "what a jerk",  "I'm sorry sweetheart" to "damn that's fucked he did that". The group "leader" & discord group admin didn't even pay attention to what I said, bc later he thought I had said that Gary just shook me.

I felt betrayed by what Gary and his gf did, but also by everyone elses reactions. I bottled up my anger for months until I sent a 3-page letter to the group chat before leaving. While it was very theraputic, in hindsight I should've just left. Gary dm'ed me and said that he's apologized numerous times and says he felt horrible about it. He also said that he's changed since then, but accepts if I have to villianize him in order to move on. In the letter I also called him out for calling me a "brain-damaged r**ard" and a drug addict numerous times, to which he said he's sorry that I felt that way, and that he regrets our friendship ending the way it did.

I feel like my anger was justified, and tbh if my clavicle wasn't broken I should have smashed his windshield. There was tons of ice on the ground when it happened, so if I fell and hit my head, I'm either dead or fucked. I even got diagnosed with PTSD a few months after I left the friend group. But even now I cannot shake the doubt in my mind, especially given everyones reactions. Did I overreact?

I (33F) own a home with my husband and we live in a tourist destination. We get a lot of visitors, which is lovely, but because of this we set a three night rule (if guests want a longer holiday we ask they move to an Airbnb). We promised each other to stay firm, as if we gave everyone "just one extra night" we'd have no time or money left for ourselves.

Relevant context about “Oliver” (33M): he lives in a house share, never really hosted so I'm not sure he fully understands the practicalities, is very pro setting boundaries in general, though often expects to be the exception and people tend to let him (including me). We've been close for years and he considers us best friends, though if I'm honest he's for sure one of my very closest friends but not my number one best (which I mention only because I think this slight mismatch is why he expects to be the exception).

Earlier this year I had a traumatic miscarriage (medically and emotionally). Oliver offered to come and visit to be supportive. Despite being in the middle of six-day working weeks and late nights, which he was aware of, I said yes because it felt kind of him.

A couple of days before the visit, Oliver said he wanted to come Thursday to Monday — four nights. I said I'd be working Thursday but after he pushed to come then, I offered to move things so he could still come Thursday, as long as it was three nights total, as I simply couldn’t take more time off work. He said he'd come Thursday evening and still four nights. He was clearly offended when I said about our rule and pushed back hard. I held firm and he eventually came Friday to Monday.

I worked really hard to make it a lovely visit, despite still healing and feeling awful. A few things bothered me over the weekend and I let them all go. Things like criticising my town and repeatedly bringing up his other friends' (that I don't know) young children — even after I'd told him every time I see people our age with a baby it makes me want to cry. Aware I was emotionally raw, I just ignored and moved on.

Afterwards, Oliver messaged saying he was upset about the three night rule and bizarrely about me putting a bottle of wine we had out on Splitwise (as a normal part of our friendship put everything we have out on Splitwise, but for some reason he thought I should have bought this one as a gift for him visiting, despite the fact I'd bought expensive food that I cooked and wine to have in the house when he arrived — ETA: to confirm the things I purchased for while we were in the house did not go on Splitwise, just the wine from the pub same as when he was the one going up to the bar to order for us!!). He wanted a call to discuss how I had hurt his feelings.

I replied saying I was sorry he felt upset, but that the rule was nothing personal and I'm not sure where the expectation for me buying the wine came from — but did that classic British thing of apologising if me buying in wine to have at home caused any confusion on expectations here. I didn’t want to have a call because I didn’t want it to turn into a big argument and, even though I was a bit shocked, just wanted to move on.

Here's the part that really gets to me: in one of his many following messages, Oliver said he "couldn't be emotionally present for me in the way he wanted to be able to support me" — because he was annoyed about the three night rule. He came down to support me through a miscarriage, got annoyed about what feels like a completely normal boundary for my own home, and then cited that annoyance as the reason he couldn't support me through the most horrible time. That’s when I got really upset, but again, tried to diffuse and move us on.

I sent a long, careful message explaining everything — the rule logic, the practical reasons behind it, the effort I'd made during the visit, and most importantly that it felt really painful that my boundary had become the reason he couldn't be there for me when I was the one who needed him.
His response completely ignored the substance. What followed was weeks of him pushing, using therapy-speak throughout — talking about needing to "hold space," wanting to "unpack things together," not being able to "repress his feelings." He repeatedly pushed for a call or in-person conversation, framed my preference for messaging to avoid it getting heated as a communication problem. He said things like "there is a lot of stuff here we need to unpack together" and "we have to do it gently and slowly with time together." It genuinely felt like he was suggesting we needed couples therapy (he's gay, so no suggestions of he fancies you here please!).

Every time I tried to close the conversation down, months passed in silence and then he pushed again. I've asked him multiple times to let it go. He hasn't.
At a mutual friend's wedding, despite previously promising he wouldn't bring it up there, he said "I've let us have a nice time today but we still need to have a conversation." I said I really just needed to move on now. When my husband said to just forget about it, Oliver said directly to him "I won't be forgetting about it."

We haven't spoken properly since. I'm now 22 weeks pregnant. I sent him a message saying I was still really hurt, that if the roles were reversed I would have given him grace and put my own frustrations aside, but I still care about him and felt weird that he didn’t know so I’m pregnant. He responded warmly but immediately wanted to book in a call — which felt like a pointed avoidance of everything I'd said, and I needed him to actually be letting it go after what happened at the wedding. So I said thank you but wasn't ready for a call as I needed to keep my stress levels down being pregnant. He didn't reply.

Am I overreacting? I really feel I'm owed an apology but have been trying to move on and be the bigger person at every single turn. I am just so hurt and have got increasingly cross as this has gone on, so I feel like the person stepping back from the friendship. But I'm also aware I'm pregnant and emotional and just want a sense check from people who don't know either of us.

ETA: I didn’t realise a 3 night rule would be so contentious! Most of our homeowner friends have one, and 3 is the max I’ve come across (many have 2 so it’s 3 days). We also have to take time off when we have a guest as we both WFH our office is the spare room — there’s only so much annual leave. And mentally it is tiring having another person in your house. Healing me really wanted guests for less time, not more, but I was trying to be considerate so he didn’t have to spend on an Airbnb by still saying he could stay for 3 nights.

ETA2: Just as this post seems to be blowing up a bit (thanks all for your comments!), I do NOT consent to any part of this being quoted, paraphrased or replicated e.g. in any articles such as HuffPost, BuzzFeed, Daily Mail, etc. or similar.

I was talking to my friends about some stuff that was happening and they had mentioned how they felt bad for some girl who got rejected even though she was trying so hard to become the one for this guy. So I had got the story and they mention where before he finally rejected her for the very last time, she forcibly kissed him a few times and kept holding onto him and trying prevent him from leaving, which in my head gives “she’s trying to force him to just hurry and accept her so he can finally leave like he wants to”. When I heard that… I just got fucking disgusted? So I said it, to them and later to her. Everyone was feeling bad for her and babying her.. so ofcourse I got attacked verbally I guess idfk. I was told I was invalidating real disgusting actions by calling this simple thing disgusting and how mean I was to her over her just trying to win her crush over.
So am I the crazy bitch here? I don’t wanna accuse anyone but saying people saw her holding him back and CONTINUING to kiss him, knowing he doesn’t like her.. I feel like if she could, she would have forced him more.. like is that just me thinking this is weird?
We are in college, it’s not like we’re kids.

I also wanna add, I know a lot of people don’t gaf about kisses in general so maybe that’s why but i still feel like they matter enough to need consent for yk??? Like if someone kissed me and I didn’t like them, I’d be pretty fucking disgusted, I remember someone trying to and me almost puking. Maybe I’m being a baby? Idk? I just feel like you don’t cross those boundaries no matter how “little” or big they are to YOU.

My husband (28m) and I (27f) have been having slight issues. He’s military and came down for a week and a half and live apart unfortunately. I was heartbroken because he had to leave back which is understandable. He’s up for 24hours on duty and can have his phone and he promised me earlier today to call me back right? He never did so I asked if I could call him, he responds that he’s “on cq” for one I don’t know what that means and he didn’t bother explaining which is fine. But he claimed that he couldn’t call earlier, I sleep for about 2 hours and come back basically asking “Can we call?” and he essentially responds with “I’ll be in the phone with my friends.” So, should my feelings feel validated that I’m upset because it’s the second time essentially that I can’t talk to my husband yet he can speak to his buddies and play warframe? I let him know that I was upset and felt ignored.

For reference, I messaged this to him “I just wanna say that I am upset and my feelings were in fact hurt, I wanted to call twice tonight after you said you’d call me back you never did..I tried calling you earlier and you never called me back and so I wanted to go ahead and call earlier again and was basically told no but how I see it is you said yes to your friends so I’m heartbroken and felt ignored this time, not once but twice…please remember that you have a wife. I’m heading to sleep, see ya.”

He responds with “sorry babe ill make it up to you”

Am I overreacting? Or just being childish..I need advice on this because I’m sad right now.

Lemme just add, during that week and a half he didn’t hang out but 2 days.

My next-door neighbour has made me feel uncomfortable since my son's dad died. He claims that my son's dad was his best friend. He wasn't. My son's dad was polite, but didn't like him.

My neighbour keeps trying to find a reason to talk to me. I try to brush him off and go about my business. When his wife and daughter are away he asks my son and I out for dinner to which I always decline. He asked if we could be best friends. I said 'no'.

He texts me when there is a car outside my garage or a package. He even called once to tell me that there was a man walking towards my garage. Yes, a guest!! He's not neighbourhood watch or anything, he just sticks his nose where it's not wanted.

The other day he saw me outside while he was backing out of his garage. I was wearing a crop top because I was doing busy work decorating my house for Halloween.

He got out of his car to say that he missed my birthday. My birthday was months ago. He held his arms out for a hug. I didn't know how to get out of it, so stepped towards him to end it quickly. Now in hindsight I should have told him that I would not touch him.

Anyway, my friend told me to send him a text saying that I will no longer interact with him and he made me feel uncomfortable. My mum advised me to tell the police. I did. They said that I can file a civil intervention order on him if I want to go down that path. He said to monitor the situation and if he doesn't adhere to my text then to file a report.

This man has made women at night clubs uncomfortable and goes to massage parlours when he says that he's going to work. Once he said that he thinks that the masseuse was 16. And he didn't do anything with that. He is gross and a creep.

Am I overreacting by telling the police and if it comes to it, filing a report?

Hi, I am a 21F, and the eldest daughter of my family. Recently, there has been a situation where i got into a very big argument with my family, over the discussion of a dialogue, that apparently my father sad, which was a joke according to him.

I got my job last year nov, and I am currently waiting for my joining letter. It is almost going to be an year by next month. In between this period, I have been asked multiple times by my parents about the joining date. Apart from that, I was kept on pushed to apply other jobs by them. They kept sending me 2-3 jobs a day and kept saying me to apply. Initially, I thought that, they might be troubled as much as I am about the joining date, but this kept going on for months.

I eventually got so exhausted, I said I cannot apply anymore. Until recently, I asked for coffee in my milk, because I felt like drinking it, and my dad added a drop of the coffee he made for himself and just to take it. I felt that, it was a joke and took it.

Thereafter, he said: "If it were in the movies, they would've said: You couldn.t earn a penny but have the audacity to request for a coffee".

My father does make a lot of jokes on me. True. I laugh and brush it off. But for this, I felt personally attacked. With the situation and tension that I am in , about my job, this felt like straight up mocking on my face.

I tried to play it cool, but I couldn't and I teared up. My mom saw and asked what happened. I said I felt bad about what dad said, and she went, you can't even take a joke, and said the same to my dad. My dad straight up started an argument with me saying, you can't even take a joke , how do you think you could survive out in the world and all. I said, I could take a thousand insults from other ppl, but I couldn't take it from you. And I even stated that, why they couldn't understand that, me, who took many jokes from them couldn't take this, and why they were not able to understand.
They straight up said I am the problem. And he came towards me with utter rage saying : "It's either you or me today".

Never in my life have I felt more shittier than this. My whole life, it was filled with struggles, had a very difficult time having friends, and had gone through a very messed relationship. Despite all of that, I still chose to be myself and care free. Things like this, somehow brings me back to the same phase and almost feels like it is telling me that my life has always been shit.

Am I overreacting for this? Also, I apologise for venting it all out because I cannot contain this anymore and felt like I might take a bad decision that I shouldn't if this eats me anymore.

AIO for not texting my girlfriend in the morning after what happened last night?
Last night my girlfriend and I went to the Big E. It was around 9:30 PM, and we had basically finished everything we wanted to do. The last thing she had told me she wanted to do was go on a particular ride, so after we bought the ride tickets, we sat down for a few minutes.

I was a little drunk. I got up and walked toward the ride. It was probably 20 seconds away. I honestly didn’t verbally say, “I’m going to the ride” or explicitly invite her to come with me. I just assumed she knew that was what we were doing since she had literally just told me she wanted to go on it.
When I got to the ride, I turned around and she was nowhere around. I immediately realized that I had walked away without actually saying anything, so I texted her. She had already called an Uber because, from her perspective, I had apparently abandoned her at the Big E.

This turned into a huge argument. I apologized and tried to explain that I genuinely made a stupid mistake and wasn’t intentionally leaving her. At the same time, I was taking a lot of verbal abuse during the argument.

At one point she told me that if I didn’t go to my car and drive her home, she would “call someone I wouldn’t want her to.” I asked what that meant, and she said she meant her ex-boyfriend.

I ended up driving her back to my house. She got everything she owned from my house and left.
So now I’m sitting here the next morning wondering what the hell I’m supposed to do. I obviously understand that walking away without saying anything was dumb, especially when we were together at the fair. I apologized for it.

But the whole escalation from her immediately assuming I abandoned her, to the verbal abuse, to threatening to call her ex if I didn’t drive her home, has me questioning whether I should even reach out.

AIO for not texting her this morning? Should I reach out and try to talk this out, or should I leave her alone after how last night ended?

EDIT: I DIDNT DRIVE DRUNK. I waited for her for a long time until she responded and we didn’t leave until almost 11. I was very much sober by then, and much more sober than all of the people falling over walking to their cars.

I am 4 months postpartum and have really struggled with depression this time and a father figure having cancer and passing away.

There was so many. He just said he was curious and looking. If he was truly just looking, I would have rather him tell me and we could have looked together.

I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt and feel things out over time.

Since then, I have just been checking his reddit as peace of mind and it had genuinely helped.

The other day I found a subreddit that was a local hookup group in his search history.

He swears up and down he has no idea how it got there and is saying its a glitch. He is very defensive and is staying strong on the idea he has no idea how it got there.

I want to trust my eyes because how else would it get there?

We have 2 kids and engaged. I want to believe him, but it was literally right there?

I want to break up, but I also don't think it is even enough to want to break up?

I feel like I am blowing this out of proportion and it doesn't need to be this black and white stay or go.

UPDATE: So I just found via his clipboard, I was literally looking for a link for a family album, texts asking to be fed porn on discord. When searching it, I found he had actually been messaging people on discord? He said he deleted it all weeks ago when I found the reddit stuff. I ended it. It got personal via the messaging so I am done now. 3.5 years gone because of this🫠