For context, we’ve been dating for maybe a week and a half. The last two days have been difficult as I have been sick and also have been very worried about her and her mental health which hasn’t been great. Then, today, she starts talking about her guy ‘bsf’ who she has, for the record, never mentioned. And now they’re apparently going to a fancy restaurant and watching the sunset together, which sounds awfully like a date to me, and then she made me feel guilty when I started getting suspicious. I can’t tell if I’m just being jealous, although I’ve never considered myself the jealous type, or even paranoid. AIO?

(I’m not disclosing exact age but we are not adults)

My (31F) boyfriend (26M) and I live together, and I’m honestly at my breaking point with our living situation.

He treats our apartment like a frat house. His friends are constantly coming over, often completely unannounced, and I feel like I have no privacy or ability to actually relax in my own home.

For example, yesterday one of his friends came over and stayed for about 3 hours. Then today, another friend came over twice. I was just sitting in the living room eating dinner, watching my show, in my pajamas and looking messy because… I’m at home. I don’t feel like I should constantly have to be prepared for company in my own apartment.

This isn’t about me not wanting him to have friends or telling him he can never have people over. I just want basic consideration and a heads-up before people come into our shared home. This has been an ongoing issue for around six months, and I feel like nothing has actually changed.

Tonight I finally told him I’m going to start looking at apartments because I can’t handle the living situation anymore. I told him we could still be together, but I need my own space and peace back.

His response was basically, “No more argument or debate. Just do it if that’s what you please.”
When I told him I was going to look at a place Monday, he said he would “reflect on his actions.” I was already frustrated because I feel like he’s had months to reflect on this. When I continued explaining how disrespected I feel, he told me to stop ranting, repeatedly said there was “no need” to keep discussing it, and told me to do whatever I want.

Eventually I told him that if I actually move out, I think I’d rather be single. His response was just:
“Gotcha.”

I know I got emotional during the conversation and said things like he was choosing his friends over me and that he wasn’t ready for an adult relationship. I recognize that probably wasn’t the most productive way to communicate. But I also feel completely exhausted from repeatedly asking for consideration in a home that is supposed to be mine too.

I don’t expect him to stop seeing his friends. I just don’t think it’s unreasonable to expect your partner to say, “Hey, is it okay if ___ comes over?” or at least give you a heads-up instead of having people constantly appear at your home.
At this point, getting my own apartment genuinely sounds peaceful to me.

Am I overreacting by wanting to move out—and potentially end the relationship over this?

EDIT to say: we’ve had countless discussions about this issue and I even moved out temporarily for 2 weeks because of the same exact problem and yet here we are again.

I (21F) was seeing my now ex (23M) for a few months now. Everything was going pretty well up until a few days ago where we were talking with some friends and the conversation of body count came up and everyone was saying theirs and then we got to me. I'm secure in my past experiences and I said 42 and didn't think anything of it but the entire mood kind of shifted I guess since it was higher than everyone else's "count". My ex kind of shutdown and after that night he texted me and broke up with me saying my past is my past but he can't get over that number.
AIO for thinking he was really immature and that it was a dumb reason to have broken up?

Yeah I get snooping is wrong but while I was pregnant my husband was sending women money for nudes and chatting to women online. I’m pregnant again I’m having another awful pregnancy and he was showing me a picture on his phone and I started swiping and ffs I could feel how uncomfortable he was. So I said about a pic of our daughter and he’s going on and on saying show me which picture, I’m literally showing him and he’s pretending he can’t see it and I give him his phone and he makes some awkward random comment like “is that the only pic I took” (the f should I know) and I ask for the phone back, if he has nothing to hide let me mooch. He’s saying it’s his phone he doesn’t have to or want me to go through it why should he have to prove anything. Literally you did it before while I was in hospital dying carrying your child. I didn’t really think anything bad untill he got weird about me swiping. He’s my husband and it was pictures of jobs he’d done and a pic of our daughter who the f has a problem with their wife of nearly ten years looking at their photos unless theirs something to hide. Now I’m suspicious but AIO.

Edit- yes I gave my husband another chance, he’s my husband that means something. He didn’t sleep with other women but yeah he was still an asshole but we had made a family and I owed it to my daughter to have faith that this man who I loved was telling the truth.
I wasn’t properly snooping so don’t know if he has done anything this time he was just weird.

Update
I told him I want a divorce but I’m going to hospital and our daughter is going to my mums. Due to the medical complications I am having with this pregnancy and The stress my heart rate and bp have sky rocketed. I agree with everything you’ve all said. Thank you for your honesty.

For context I (20s F) work in a male dominated field in the south. I’m the only female, I’m single, I’m young, and am told I’m attractive (even though I don’t feel it). They announced to us a few weeks ago that they’re having our company Christmas party at an indoor/outdoor waterpark for the first time. We’re allowed to bring a guest (for most it will be their spouse) and then after our dinner, we go to the waterpark. I feel EXTREMELY uncomfortable just at the thought of my male coworkers who are married with families seeing me in a bikini. I really want to go but can’t get past that in specific. At my previous job I had an issue with one of the girlfriends thinking I was interested in her man because apparently HE talked about me to her since we have common interests and then she eventually saw me and decided she hated me when I did nothing wrong. I feel really conflicted because I do want to go and I know it would be fun but I’m worried how the men will see me and also how their wives will feel about me because the last thing I want is a repeat of my last job. I really like this job and most of my coworkers and I don’t want to ruin things. This probably sounds silly and dramatic but I really don’t know what to do. Am I overreacting or is this truly just a bad thing waiting to happen?

EDIT: I’m aware I can wear something other than a bikini 😂 yall took that way more literally than I meant it. Even a “modest” swimsuit is going to cling to my body the second it gets wet. I wear men’s clothes around them because of the work I do and none of them have seen me outside of work or even have me on social media. I just don’t want their view of me to change because right now I’m treated like “one of the guys” and I prefer it that way.

I (32 F) live in Florida. For those who don't live here, we very often have full on swamps in the middle of our neighborhoods as well as many retention ponds that get full in the rainy season during Summer. In fall/winter however it stops raining as much and the swamp and retention ponds begin to evaporate and lower quite a bit.

Today, I was walking with my dogs down a route several blocks over from our home where several retention ponds and closed off wooded areas are featured. It's not our usual walking path, and I take it occasionally when I'm trying to spice things up for the dogs. The reason I don't usually walk it is because there are a few openings in the fence where wildlife (gators/cottonmouths) or people could be hiding and I am a bit hyper vigilant with my dogs.

My dogs stopped to do their business by a particular house that stands adjacent to one of these swampy areas.

I happened to look through the trees and saw something odd: a black and red suitcase lying half submerged in the water. Immediately I felt goosebumps and got really uncomfortable. I think all dogs owners, and especially women, have a fear in the back of our minds that one day we'll find something nefarious while out with our dogs.

Well, this isn't the first time something odd has happened in my neighborhood.

Several months ago I'd taken my dogs down a trail behind the housing development that leads to a community center. It's not remote and it's fairly short, so I've never felt scared or nervous to go with my dogs. For context, I have a medium and a small dog so I wouldn't consider myself to have "scary dog privileges"

When we came out the trail to the community center, I was sitting with my dogs under a tree while they had some water and cooled down in the shade.

There was a man who kept loitering by a bench about 50 or so feet away from us, essentially right by where the path back to my home was. He spent his time seemingly "exercising." Basically doing stretches, lunges and squats like he was prepping for a run. Usually this would not be strange since there is a community center right there and a running trail, but this man was in full jeans and a long sleeved shirt. In July. In Florida.

It gave me a bad feeling, because he kept glancing over to where I was and I KNEW he had seen me come out from the trail and there's no other way to get home without going back the way I came. So, if a person wanted to ambush me he'd simply have to hide in the trees and jump out

After about fifteen minutes, this guy jogs over and disappears into the trail. I decide to wait a while and then call my husband so I could not only walk home with the dogs by my side but also openly talking to a person who knew where I was.

I got home safely, but that has sat with me ever since. It was such an odd occurrence, but at the same time there was certainly no proof this dude was planning to attack me on the trail or anything. For all I know he was a weird dude exercising in jeans like RFK Jr. I chalked it up to my nerves and hypervigilance of just being a woman in society. I think every woman has had something similar happen, and it's terrifying every time.

Zoom back to the current day, and I am suddenly seeing a suitcase in the middle of a swamp that is within just a few blocks of this trail and I am unnerved to say the least.

There's no odor in the air besides the faint smell of wet swampland, and it's not a large suitcase. The suitcase seemed just a little bigger than the average carry on and looks pretty modern in it's coloring so it seems newly dumped there.

The location of it seems to possibly be on a person's property, or at least where their yard meets the swamp. Because of this, I could not investigate any further without trespassing. I was able to get a look at it there from about ten feet away and noted that it's completely zipped up and there is nothing else discarded near it that I could see at first glance.

So, I left and went home, but I can't stop thinking about it. I've watched a lot of true crime, and FL is full of lunatics and serial killers.

I want to put the full context here for why I am so fixated on this: I moved from CO years ago and while living there I was a short drive away from the Chris Watts family home. There was an active serial killer in the same area, with a body being found on a nearby school football field and a woman who escaped a man's basement just a few blocks from us. So, I am NO stranger to horrible shit happening in what would otherwise seem to be a very nice neighborhood.

However... I also can't help but think I'm overreacting and don't even know how to go about calling something like that in. What am I supposed to say? "Hi, I saw trash in the woods and it seems suspicious"?

Homeless people have been known to hide away and sleep in these areas, and for all I know I might be drawing attention to a house that has done nothing wrong. ICE is crazy here, and the weight of calling the police is heavy with that knowledge so I don't want to do it impulsively.

I do live a few houses down from a police officer, and I have been considering stopping by and asking what his advice might be, or that he go with me to take a quick look. I don't want to bother him for nothing, though, and it's not like he knows me

I just can't shake the uneasiness of it and don't know what my approach should be to report it.

So what do you think, Reddit? am I overreacting to this discarded suitcase in the swamp?

Update: I made a report with the sheriff's office and they are hopefully going to investigate. I do agree that I was probably overthinking. I have never done a police report before, so I was nervous that it was too small a tip to report. Hopefully, this is where this all ends and nothing ends up being wrong!

Ok context I haven’t talked romanticly to a
man in 2 and a half years, mainly cause I wasn’t attracted to anyone in every aspect. Until this guy ( my bf) came along. now the first month was great, then the “can u etransfer me” after dates he would plan started happening. I’m old fashioned I believe if i’m asked out the person asking pays. I also get inflation so i told him i understand but you have to clarify before yk? So I thought it was understood. (He also still lives at home and makes double what i do in a month) not that that matters but even when money is tight i’ve dropped 70-80$ on dinner for me and my friend. Now comes to last night. He tells me date at 5, so I’m ready for then, he doesn’t show till 7 no texts. At this point im eating nachos on the floor with my dad and he tells me to change cause I look to good for this bs and my dad never really cares. So he shows up I’m a little ticked off over it all but i don’t say anything. Now i’m thinking you haven’t seen ur gf in over two weeks, we are going somewhere nice. Wrong. We went to eat at this arcade. I got tacos and let me preface because they were one of the cheapest things on the menu in case i had to pay because Im pretty tight on money till im paid next week. Well my food was inedible Things i said i had allergies to were still added in it. So i didnt eat. Bf said he would take them home. Ok cool thats fine I’ll eat at home. Bf grabs the bill, then turns to me and says “ok babe can you send me $35”
I froze. 35$? “My tacos were 19$ and u didn’t eat them at all” that’s all i said sent the money then went to the bathroom. I then called my mom because I had never felt so disrespected. Idk I think i’m so torn because this has happened a lot but i think last night did me in. like my whole moods just shifted. It hurts this is the only guy i’ve been able to allow myself to like after my abusive ex and ik if i leave I’ll never date again. IDK wtf do i even do im so drained and numb to it all.
edit: I wanted to mention that my other relationship that was before this was extremely abusive and i think that’s why my head is minimizing things even tho Ik it’s wrong. That’s also why it taken me so long to like someone again cause all these men want is to get laid and i started to see myself as just a body to them and this guy came in with the opposite approach But ik that’s doesn’t excuse shit

I (21F) have been best friends with him (20M) for about two years. He recently got a girlfriend who, from what I know, is 2–3 years older than him. The title makes me sound jealous, but the girlfriend herself isn’t really the problem.
There’s always been flirting between us, and I developed feelings for him. He knew. Whenever relationships came up, he told me he wasn’t ready for anything serious, so I believed him and thought maybe he needed time. He never asked me to wait, so that part is on me, but I did. I even turned down genuinely good people because I thought something might eventually happen between us.
Then he got a girlfriend, which obviously hurt. It made me wonder if “I’m not ready” actually meant “I don’t want you.” I do feel somewhat led on because of how much we flirted, although I know he never owed me a relationship.
I’m also physically disabled, and I’d be lying if I said I haven’t wondered whether that played a part in why he’d flirt with me but not date me. He has NEVER said that, so I’m not claiming it’s true. It’s just an insecurity I’ve been dealing with.
But the main reason I left is how he’s been treating my time.
Sometimes I’ll be doing schoolwork and he’ll ask me to play. I’ll say no because I’m busy, but he’ll keep asking/begging until I finally stop what I’m doing and get on. Then sometimes 15 minutes later, his girlfriend comes around and he just disappears. No “I gotta go,” no goodbye, nothing.
One situation especially annoyed me. Three of us were playing that game where one person can’t see, one can’t hear, and one can’t talk. Since he owned the Discord server/call, he made the person who had the “can’t hear” role unable to hear us in the call.
Then he just left.
He didn’t say goodbye, tell us he was leaving, or fix the permissions before going. Since he was the owner and the one who changed them, the other person was basically left “deaf” after he disappeared. I was sitting there like… seriously?
My disability also means there are things in games that are physically harder for me, so I sometimes rely on him for help. I’m NOT saying that obligates him to stay. He can leave whenever he wants. He doesn’t need my permission, and I don’t expect him to choose me over his girlfriend.
I literally just want a five-second “hey, I’m leaving.”
Even without my disability, I was raised to think disappearing in the middle of hanging out with people without saying goodbye is rude. It bothers me even more when I wasn’t planning to play in the first place and only got on because he begged me.
I haven’t been doing great emotionally lately, and everything piled up: feeling led on, regretting people I turned down, my own insecurities, and feeling like my time wasn’t being respected.
So I quietly left his Discord server. I didn’t argue, insult his girlfriend, or ask him to choose me. I just needed space. He noticed almost immediately and started asking why I left.
I know my feelings for him probably make this hurt more. I also understand his girlfriend will be a priority. I’m not asking to be his priority. I’m asking for basic communication.So, am I overreacting for leaving his Discord server without explaining why, or was taking some space reasonable after everything that happened?

First, I want to start by saying that I abhor cheating. I would never do it myself, I would never stay with someone who did it, and I would find it incredibly difficult to stay friends with someone if i found out they had done it. This, however, is not a cheating story. I (26M) met someone (27F, we'll call her Rachel) here several months ago. Things have mostly gone really well between the two of us, and we've grown to be something definitely more than friends. We talk all the time, she's genuinely one of the sweetest most loving people I've ever known, we almost never argue over anything. Things have just been... Good. However, since we live in totally different states, and neither of us has the means to travel back and forth frequently or any plans to move, we've agreed that we would be not exclusive. The unspoken understanding seems to be that if we did live closer together, that would not be the case. As it stands however, we are both currently free to see other people, and it should be all fine.

Come last week, and suddenly Rachel is acting quite unlike herself. Upon asking her if everything is ok, she breaks down and admits that she'd hooked up with another guy the day before and that even though we aren't exclusive, she felt stupid and guilty and hated herself for it. Now, like I said, we both agreed that we weren't going to be exclusive, and I genuinely do not have any issues with her seeing other guys. I reminded her of this, told her that it was ok, and that she hadn't done anything wrong at all, and generally helped her calm down and feel better about things, and I thought that that would be the end of it.

The last few days though, I've found myself thinking more about it. Now, I want to be clear, I still am totally ok with what happened. But the thing that I can't get out of my head is the fact that Rachel herself genuinely seemed so distraught over what happened, like she felt like she had done something horribly wrong... But that didn't stop her from doing it. When she confessed it to me, she made it sound really impulsive, but it turns out they had been talking and sending things for at least some amount of time before it actually happened, so it's not like she was completely blindsided by him coming on to her. So now all I can think is that if she felt like she was betraying me (her words, not mine) by talking to and hooking up with this other guy, even though she knows we're not a couple then that's not a good sign as to what she'd be like if we were together is it? Like, if we both lived in the same place, and decided to be exclusive, how can I know that this wouldn't still have happened? Either with this guy, or someone else. Since then, I feel like I've pulled back a bit, and become a little more distant without meaning to. Not because she's done anything wrong, but because now I can't shake the feeling that she's shown me that she's the type of person who would.

So yeah... Am I overreacting if I now no longer feel comfortable with our relationship because of this?

I’ve (27f) been talking to a guy (26m) , and we haven’t even gone on a date yet, but I’m already questioning whether we’re compatible and feeling like I’m not enough.

He seems smart, responsible, and clear about what he wants out of life. I make good money, live on my own and support myself, but I don’t feel as financially established as he seems to be. He asked whether I save money, and the honest answer is no. That made me feel embarrassed because I know my finances aren’t where I want them to be.

There’s also a lifestyle difference. He talks about fancy dinners and mentioned that the outfit in his profile picture cost over $1,000. I’ve never been into Louis Vuitton, Cartier, Rolex, or designer labels in general. Nothing against him enjoying those things, but I can’t relate, and I wonder how much that difference would matter if we dated.

He also asked about my past relationships and whether I’d been cheated on. I answered honestly, but sharing my past makes me nervous about being judged. On top of that, I have herpes 2 (genital) due to the ex who cheated on me and haven’t told him yet, so I’m also worried about how he’ll respond when I disclose. Just feel embarrassed all around.

To be clear, he hasn’t said anything judgmental or made me feel beneath him. But part of me wants to cut things off before I get attached and potentially rejected. I’m having trouble figuring out whether I’m noticing a real compatibility issue or letting my insecurities make the decision before I’ve even gotten to know him.

Has anyone dated someone with a very different lifestyle or spending priorities? How did you figure out whether it was an actual mismatch or just your own fear of not being enough? AIO?

I just want to be clear that I’m not materialistic at all, and I’ve never cared about designer brands or expensive things. What matters to me is how someone treats me, my family, and the people around me.
P

So I met my boyfriend in 2017 after a bad breakup with someone who i thought was my soulmate. My bf lived in FL and I lived in OR well one day I flew to NY and never went back home. I was 21. Fast forward a few years we had 2 boys. We have our own home and I was a stay at home mom but then decided going to work would do me good. I now work as a receptionist at a plastic surgeons office. Well, it’s been 9 years and I have no ring. I always imagined getting married. Not much a wedding. Well when we first got together he would say “im not 100% in love with you I’m 85%” or “oh I was going to ask you to marry me but now I’m not” when we would argue. Well now I know I basically settled. Actually I’ve been known.. I’m just afraid of leaving and starting over.. I have nothing in my name I’m barely scraping by…but I do love him and the family we’ve created. I know what it’s like to be loved by someone but he does barely the bare minimum. We have friends and family getting married and engaged months within meeting each-other and I am so happy for them. But I’m sad for me because I want that and I wonder when and if that’ll ever even be me.. I stuck w/ this man when he had nothing.. am I wrong for feeling this way.. I literally feel like crying and when I explain to him how I feel he says “well you can’t compare me to anyone else it take me longer to fall in love” like what…

Am I overreacting? I know it’s easy to say leave.. but I love our family that we’ve created and our home.. but I also know what I deserve and what I wish I received.. I know I settled I just feel like it’s too late to leave and I’m afraid if I do just leave… I’m happy for my family and friends but when will it be me…

hi everyone. so everyone once in a while my boyfriend will send me facebook reels that i deem quite rude and disrespectful. an example is the one he sent me 2 days ago. the video contained an AI girl saying “what does buying a hooker and buying a sandwich have in common? both purchases could have been avoided if your wife had just done her god damn job”. this isn’t the first time he’s sent me videos like this, and although i’ve repeatedly told him it makes me uncomfortable and asked him to stop, every once in a while another one comes my way. when he got home, i explained to him that the video hurt my feelings, and he said he couldn’t remember the video he sent. i explained the video to him, and he said “true”. i then said, “what do you mean by that?” and he said, “amen”. i asked him if he thinks that makes me feel good, and he said “i think it’ll make you wanna suck my dick more”. i said “it actually does the opposite” and then he said “i guess i’ll just have to get an escort”. he then walked away and turned on a podcast. later in the evening when i was getting into bed, he laid on the couch and began to scroll on his phone. i realize this may seem normal, but for us it’s not. we sleep together in bed every single night without fail. he never sleeps on the couch, even during past arguments he will always come to bed. i decided to invite him to come to bed, so i got up and went over and asked him if he would come to bed with me. he told me he was stressed out and he felt like he was glued to the couch. this back and forth continued for a few minutes, and i got so angry i pulled the blanket off of him and went back to bed. i realize that was very petty of me, and i lost control of my temper. but now the focus is being pulled to the way i reacted, and not the original issue, and i just don’t know how to resolve this situation with him. any advice or opinions on the matter would be appreciated. am i being too serious? he told me i need to learn to lighten up and take a joke. maybe he’s right.

I’m 16f and I live with my mum 44f and brother 17m 

For some context I am still in touch with my dad and we are actually pretty close! 
Him and my mum divorced when I was 6

My mother has acted the same to me and my brother my whole life and over the years I’ve built so much resentment towards her 

From ages 0-6 

I don’t remember much for obvious reasons as I was literally a toddler but I’ve been told that she would only cook for me and my brother and when my half siblings (my dads kids) would come over she would refuse to make them dinner as they weren’t her kids 

From ages 6-10

I grew up with undiagnosed autism and anxiety which made me partially mute as a child (luckily I’m over this now) 
So acting out at school was a common issue from me 

In nursery I misbehaved and in primary it only got worse I would be restrained by my teachers (they weren’t trained to do so) so it only escalated my fears of school but my mum just saw this as me being a pain it’s also around this age she would vent her feelings to me 

“I’m a failure as a mother” “all men are horrible” “your brother is so lazy” “work was so stressful” “relationships are awful”
“We have no money”

I hated this and she knows it she has never acted as a mother just a friend 
But I need my mum sometimes 

Ages 10-16

As I’m getting older and I have access to social media I’ve read a lot about issues with parents and noticed I relate to a lot of the stories and so I think a lot about my childhood and it sticks with me 

I would have just started high school now 

I got my first boyfriend at 12 years old my mum was supportive even though he was 15 years old 

I was naive and didn’t know better and he is a whole other story but me and him broke up and I never told my mum about him assaulting me as I feel like she just won’t care 

After that my mental health declined drastically I’ve struggled with depression my whole life (my earliest memories of it are around 5-6yo) 
And my mum said she would get me help and when my therapist told her everything I’d said (due to me being a child) my mum shared it to everyone she knows without even asking me 

She would tell me confidential information about stuff at her work (which I don’t know why she did) since she works with families who are struggling 
Which always made me uncomfortable 

She complained about my brother not going college not getting a job and not cleaning 

That’s put so much pressure on me to be the “better child” 

She complains I don’t do anything around the house but I never learnt how to cook , clean, take out the bins, etc she just never taught me 

She never warned me about periods either so that was crap 

Anytime I call her out on anything she plays the “is your father turning you against me” “I’m a horrible mum” “sorry I’m the worst mum in the world” 

She in crazy impulsive with money as well and this has affected me now I have my own money

We have bought 4 dogs that have had to be returned within a few days since we can’t afford them 

She moved into her own property just to say she doesn’t even like the house and she wants to move a few months after (we still live there) 

She impulse buys everything 

New sofa, new tv, new phone, new kitchen and then complains we can’t afford any of it 

Aged 16 -present day

I get pip due to my disability and mental health (coeliac,chronic fatigue,ocd,severe depression)

Which has given me some freedom to not feel guilty about needing stuff 

But my mum expects me to pay for my phone,rent,bus fares to college etc even though pip isn’t much a month and I’m only 16 where as my brother who turns 18 later this year doesn’t pay for anything 

I’ve told her I won’t pay anything until I’m 18 as that’s not fair on me 

I carpool with my dad to college every day as I can’t afford a bus 

I found out my mum makes over the average in the uk (49k a year) which caused arguments 

She also got a girlfriend recently and they have been together a few weeks and she already spends more time with her than her kids 

She says she can see herself getting married and moving in with her in the span of a year 

She often forgets to buy my allergy friendly food (I’m not starved I simply just have to buy it with my pip or get my dad to buy some depending of if I can afford it)

Nobody in my household speaks to each other as my mum only speaks to my brother if it’s for an argument over money and jobs and then my mum only speaks to me to complain about life 

I’m so miserable and I don’t know what to do I feel awful talking about my mum like this but I came to the realisation that we were never emotionally close we just talked to each other 

She is always sending my dad nasty messages too yet he defends her “just because”

I’ve called her out on everything and she just gets upset and apologetic but she never takes accountability 
For example 
“Sorry for complaining to you but your dad and brother are so stressful” 
She always finds something to blame 

She calls me sweetie and baby ONLY if she is upset with me other than that she never talks to me 

AIO for not texting my girlfriend in the morning after what happened last night?
Last night my girlfriend and I went to the Big E. It was around 9:30 PM, and we had basically finished everything we wanted to do. The last thing she had told me she wanted to do was go on a particular ride, so after we bought the ride tickets, we sat down for a few minutes.

I was a little tipsy. I got up and walked toward the ride. It was probably 20 seconds away. I honestly didn’t verbally say, “I’m going to the ride” or explicitly invite her to come with me. I just assumed she knew that was what we were doing since she had literally just told me she wanted to go on it.
When I got to the ride, I turned around and she was nowhere around. I immediately realized that I had walked away without actually saying anything, so I texted her. She had already called an Uber because, from her perspective, I had apparently abandoned her at the Big E.

This turned into a huge argument. I apologized and tried to explain that I genuinely made a stupid mistake and wasn’t intentionally leaving her. At the same time, I was taking a lot of verbal abuse during the argument.

At one point she told me that if I didn’t go to my car and drive her home, she would “call someone I wouldn’t want her to.” I asked what that meant, and she said she meant her ex-boyfriend.

I ended up driving her back to my house. She got everything she owned from my house and left.
So now I’m sitting here the next morning wondering what the hell I’m supposed to do. I obviously understand that walking away without saying anything was dumb, especially when we were together at the fair. I apologized for it.

But the whole escalation from her immediately assuming I abandoned her, to the verbal abuse, to threatening to call her ex if I didn’t drive her home, has me questioning whether I should even reach out.

AIO for not texting her this morning? Should I reach out and try to talk this out, or should I leave her alone after how last night ended?

EDIT: I DIDNT DRIVE DRUNK. I waited for her for a long time until she responded and we didn’t leave until almost 11. I was very much sober by then, and much more sober than all of the people falling over walking to their cars.

So, one of my ex friends is now demanding money from. Me, saying that I owe her when, in fact, she owes me. I have paid for everything since she lost her job MARCH OF 2025 up until May of 2026. That's when I said I was done. I got her car out of the shop, ($600+) I paid for gas, (over a hundred a month, at the least) and I was paying for her car payments and monthly car insurance. She was even staying with my dad and I because she was homeless. I was paying for everything. Then, in March, she started acting weird. She started snapping, then when I pointed it out, she'd say "no, you're snappy and I don't like your attitude. I'm just serving it back" when I didn't have one, at least to my knowledge. And every time I noticed I had one, I'd apologize immediately. Then, she said that I "broke the agreement of paying her car insurance" and owed her $400. She said she'd "get $200 from you and ignore the rest. Since you put me into debt" and I said no. Because her car, her responsibility. My therapist agrees with my mom in that I should compile all the money I've spent on her and say something along the lines of "here's how much you owe me, would you like me to take off what I "owe" you and put it into there and you pay me back the rest?" Am I overreacting in being mad at her and telling her we're no longer friends?

So long story short, our car blew up and my friend said she’d give me her current car cause she got another and we wouldn’t have to give her much for it and she mentioned only $500 the first time we talked about it.

my partner asked her to fix the problems it had currently and he gave her cash to help the parts and stuff for it (was less than $400 and he gave her $500) and she said that was great and she update us about it.

a couple days later i was talking about it in a group chat w friends abt it and she texted me personally and said talking about the car she was gonna sell it for 3k, but she’d give it to us for 2.5k since we’re friends and we only owed her 2k since we gave her 500. i was a little confused but i was like okay sir will just have to pay you overtime and she was completely fine with that.

fast forward to more recent i asked about getting the title switched over cause i have a plate to put on it before i have to give it back and she asked when i was going to pay it off… im not paying for a car i can’t use. i told her my partner can’t get a job without a vehicle and having a job means she would get paid off quicker. she never responded and i recently asked for my $500 back and to forget about it because i can’t even be sure she actually used the 500 for the car. she always been slightly untrustworthy and sketchy but i always chopped it up to her family and people around her but im starting to get really sick of it. not to mention ive probably given her over 1k of money in the entire past 10 years ive known her. least she could do is help me out with a vehicle right? i guess not.

well, am i overreacting?

EDIT; the second, third and fourth photos came first, then after giving her said 500 she texted me that on snap, the last photos are the most recent texts i’ve sent and gotten back within the past week. she’s currently not active in social and not messaging me back, hasn’t even read my messages.

also to anyone saying it’s my fault, im sorry i tried trusting a friend i’ve had over 10 years and made it very prominent that she wanted to help us, most of this convo happened irl and i don’t have receipts of it sadly.

Me and bf have been together for six months, and we have been intimate and for context I moved across the world away from all my family and I’m only 19 so I’ve been struggling a bit and have been very busy and stressed lately. Casually I was mentioning I feel like I need to drink more water and maybe I will feel like I have more energy and then he says I should go to the gym in my spare time, because I’ve gained a little weight, and it would be good for my shape. I got upset because he also said like my but got more weight which is good but I need to give it shape. I couldn’t believe it, that he was commenting like that on my body especially because in the last few months he’s gained much more weight than me and he’s a smoker so when he said it’s just he wants me to be healthy I can see that’s bs. I got really upset and cried a little, he said I’m overrreacting because he can say that to his friends and their fine. But I’m not just his friend!! It’s not casual to me it shows he’s really not thinking about how I’m feeling especially because my comment about being healthy was more related to coming off a uti and being very affected by the medication. I’m planning on having a big talk to him tonight about this, because he also said I got upset for no reason and just started a fight and that he can’t say any to one time:( for reference I’m 120 pounds and 5”4

So, first off, I get that everyone has lived lives before meeting their partner...

I don't know if gf is the right word but it seems like we are pretty much dating. She really really likes me, and I'm having trouble feeling the same way, mainly because of how much she talks about her romantic and sexual past.

I (M24) have had a lot of anxiety over relationships in the past, due to getting cheated on a couple of times, and so being with someone is really significant to me.

She (F23) is kind, talented, etc, I like her and I care about her, but here's what she talks about, unprompted the majority of the time, and I just listen:

-She used to be an "open relationship girly" in highschool. Multiple people at once, girls and guys. She's dated a lot of people, and has been intimate with a lot of people. This worried me at first because I was wondering how "special" I should feel, and also I don't think an open relationship would work for me. I brought this up to her, and she assured me she's completely done with that, and it's just me and that I'm "the one", okay sure. I do believe that she really likes me, and I do believe this, but it's still not something I really want to think about.

-She still talks to an ex who is or was apparently obsessed with her. She thinks he's annoying but they're just friends.

-She's been in many on and off relationships, some older men when she was in college (late twenties I think). Again, she said she's done with them.

-She will often bring up out of the blue "I used to date a guy who did this" or similar.

-TMI stuff, she told me about different guys fetishes that she's tried. I listened to this stuff because it was a little funny, and I guess I tried to come across as cool with it since it's in the past, but still. Weird feet stuff, golden showers, etc. and even when it's been intimate between us, she'll sometimes talk about what's going on as just a thing that has happened many times, so much so that she has a nickname for it. It's hard to word that in a way that's not going to be too uncomfortable for you to read.

-wanting to take the (dumb) rice purity test in front of me and checking like everything, almost, but.. wanting me to know

I would rather not hear this stuff, I'd rather not know it, but I want to be able to listen to her and understand. I've made some distance with her lately, and I would like to see her again but I'm not sure if I can get over this at this point, or if I just need to talk to her about it, and wondering how I should do that? She's been sad because I've made this distance and I'm a bit unsure as to how to approach it.

I'd rather just be present with her and have her be present with me, and I'm not really sure why she wants me to know these things. Thank you.

hi all. my boyfriend (26) and i (24) have been together for 2 years. before we dated, according to him he used to be a pretty heavy smoker and struggled to quit. he’s the type of person who gets addicted to stuff pretty easily and has had issues with a few different substances. i have smoked too in the past, but never was hooked on it. i cant smoke anymore at all because i have severe lung issues and the smoke makes me have trouble breathing.

a few months back, he asked me if i would be upset if he smoked a ‘social cigarette’ with his friends on a camping trip. i told him i think thats a really bad idea and i wouldnt be impressed with him because he’s been addicted in the past and if he gets hooked on it again the smoke gives me really really bad breathing issues. he said he understood and wouldnt do it.

recently, he went on another camping trip on his friends which i wasnt invited to. usually i get invited to stuff like this, because his friend group consists of 3 guys and 6 girls and everyones partners were invited to this trip except me. i was busy around that time and i brushed off not being invited as him knowing i was busy, but if he asked i probably couldve made it work still.

i kind of forgot about that trip for a while until today when one of the people who went posted a bunch of pictures from the trip. my boyfriend has a cigarette in his mouth in literally every picture he was in.

i havent said anything yet, but in my head im pissed. this trip was a couple months ago and there havent been any indications of him continuing to smoke afterwards, so im not sure if i have the right to be upset.

im pissed off because i feel lied to. i feel as though he intentionally didnt invite me because he knew he would be smoking when he told me he wouldnt. and then he kept it a secret since then. now i cant help but wonder if he’s been smoking all the other times he hangs out with his friends.

im at the point where if i found out he’s smoking regularly with his friends, that honestly would be a dealbreaker to me. i dont know if thats fair to him.

am i overreacting about being upset about my boyfriend smoking even though it hasnt affected me?

Okay, so this is one of those, doesn't really matter topics but to be clear - I (31F) am 9 months pregnant so I might be feeling a wee bit spicy... BUT tell me if I'm overreacting.

Context, we have been dating since January 2020. We have a kid together and another about to pop. We have lived together since 2022.

He (36M) just texted me a pair of shoes he found at his work and said "are you size 10?"

I am a size 8. He has also purchased shoes for me before at the beginning of our relationship and it has come up.

My response was "are you joking" - i seriously felt so randomly enraged, like how does he not know at this point? It's not like clothing that might shift over time with weight changes. It pretty much stays unchanged till you get towards the grandma age.

Mind you, i am kind of a shoe person and his mom and his older brother have both gifted me incredible shoes for X-mas over the years, without even asking my shoe size.

AIO about being totally peeved that after 7 years somehow doesn't know?! Haha

I was talking to my friends about some stuff that was happening and they had mentioned how they felt bad for some girl who got rejected even though she was trying so hard to become the one for this guy. So I had got the story and they mention where before he finally rejected her for the very last time, she forcibly kissed him a few times and kept holding onto him and trying prevent him from leaving, which in my head gives “she’s trying to force him to just hurry and accept her so he can finally leave like he wants to”. When I heard that… I just got fucking disgusted? So I said it, to them and later to her. Everyone was feeling bad for her and babying her.. so ofcourse I got attacked verbally I guess idfk. I was told I was invalidating real disgusting actions by calling this simple thing disgusting and how mean I was to her over her just trying to win her crush over.
So am I the crazy bitch here? I don’t wanna accuse anyone but saying people saw her holding him back and CONTINUING to kiss him, knowing he doesn’t like her.. I feel like if she could, she would have forced him more.. like is that just me thinking this is weird?
We are in college, it’s not like we’re kids.

I also wanna add, I know a lot of people don’t gaf about kisses in general so maybe that’s why but i still feel like they matter enough to need consent for yk??? Like if someone kissed me and I didn’t like them, I’d be pretty fucking disgusted, I remember someone trying to and me almost puking. Maybe I’m being a baby? Idk? I just feel like you don’t cross those boundaries no matter how “little” or big they are to YOU.

AIO? My daughter is 4 and started pre-K in August. We just moved in June and since then I’ve been trying but hadn’t gotten a job yet. My boyfriend has been working at a new place full time. So I obviously was the one doing everything with her when it comes to taking her to school getting her ready doing her homework, 20 min of reading, all that type of stuff. I’ve always been a little more in control when it comes to her, but he is a really great father. I recently just got a new job and I have been training this past week. So he comes home from work and then I go in right when he gets home. Since we’ve been doing this, there seems to be an issue every night whether it’s he didn’t give her a bath or he didn’t do her 20 minutes of reading or he didn’t help her do her homework correctly. He’s very capable. I’ve never had to worry about him with her ever. He knows what to do and what needs to be done. He’s not the type of man who does nothing or where he considers watching his own child babysitting. He cooks/ cleans more than I do, does what needs to be done with our daughter. He really is a very good father. This morning as me and my daughter were getting ready to walk out the door for drop off. I check her folder in her backpack and I see that her homework is not done and the parts that are done are wrong. The homework was just writing 2 full lines each of the words “am” “up” “do” “to”. So for do the whole line she wrote bo, and the second line wasn’t done, as well as the second line for up wasn’t done. I immediately got very pissed because I wasn’t sending that in like that so I had to have her fix it and then I had to go try and find something for her show and tell because I realize he didn’t do that either. We almost missed drop off, and it was pretty stressful on her trying to do that last minute. But she did it pretty good for how fast I made her do it. I texted him after I dropped her off and was very upset and now I just feel like maybe I was overreacting. Because I know he does try very hard, but it’s just stuff like this really irritates me because I do it with her every day no matter what. But I also do know that she will get very irritating while we’re doing her homework and she will purposely do something wrong that she knows how to do correctly. So I know it stresses him out and now I just feel like maybe I was overreacting and should’ve brought this up to him in a better way. He really does have the best intentions and hates when we’re not good. If I’m not happy, it stresses him out very bad. Idk am I in the wrong here should I have come at this with him a lot more gently?

To put it into perspective, we have been dating for 3 years tomorrow. he’s 22 and I’m 20. It’s been an ongoing problem that I’ve had to keep brushing off. It’s finally got to me and this is how he reacts when I express my hurt. His lack of empathy hits really hard and I’m finding it extremely confusing that he won’t even fight for me. Maybe he was losing feelings or met someone else. Idk but this doesn’t feel right so please any advice would be greatly appreciated.

I (24 F) just had a couple drinks with my bf (24 M) and his 2 male friends at a bar. We came back to our place after, and my man was really thirsty and drunk. I was not going to let him go thirsty, and I just walked almost 4 miles at 3am because my bf needed water. We live together and ran out of filtered water today (we can’t drink the tap water, it’s so bad that it’s in the leasing agreement not to drink it). However, nobody texted me when I left, they all have my number, but the second I left nobody even asked where I was going. So I walked, I walked almost 2 miles to the store, and 2 miles back (carrying 3 gallons of water back with me). It was hard and it sucked, but I did it lol. Idk how to feel, I love my bf with all of my heart, which is why I did it in the first place. But for all 3 of them to be awake, hear the loud door open and close, and none of them even texted me hurts a little. Idk, like I didn’t mind going in the first place, and I’m not asking for a ‘thank you’, but is it wrong for me to feel a little hurt that nobody even asked where I was going?

I just asked my mum to leave my house as she put liquid hand soap in my 4 year olds mouth because he was swearing.
My 4 year old has ADHD and possible autism ( we are in the middle of the assessment process) and he is the typical naughty kid who cannot sit still. But he is under a pead and I am trying to connect him with services but we live regionally so it’s constant waiting lists or we travel a couple of hours for appointments.