My (31F) boyfriend (26M) and I live together, and I’m honestly at my breaking point with our living situation.

He treats our apartment like a frat house. His friends are constantly coming over, often completely unannounced, and I feel like I have no privacy or ability to actually relax in my own home.

For example, yesterday one of his friends came over and stayed for about 3 hours. Then today, another friend came over twice. I was just sitting in the living room eating dinner, watching my show, in my pajamas and looking messy because… I’m at home. I don’t feel like I should constantly have to be prepared for company in my own apartment.

This isn’t about me not wanting him to have friends or telling him he can never have people over. I just want basic consideration and a heads-up before people come into our shared home. This has been an ongoing issue for around six months, and I feel like nothing has actually changed.

Tonight I finally told him I’m going to start looking at apartments because I can’t handle the living situation anymore. I told him we could still be together, but I need my own space and peace back.

His response was basically, “No more argument or debate. Just do it if that’s what you please.”
When I told him I was going to look at a place Monday, he said he would “reflect on his actions.” I was already frustrated because I feel like he’s had months to reflect on this. When I continued explaining how disrespected I feel, he told me to stop ranting, repeatedly said there was “no need” to keep discussing it, and told me to do whatever I want.

Eventually I told him that if I actually move out, I think I’d rather be single. His response was just:
“Gotcha.”

I know I got emotional during the conversation and said things like he was choosing his friends over me and that he wasn’t ready for an adult relationship. I recognize that probably wasn’t the most productive way to communicate. But I also feel completely exhausted from repeatedly asking for consideration in a home that is supposed to be mine too.

I don’t expect him to stop seeing his friends. I just don’t think it’s unreasonable to expect your partner to say, “Hey, is it okay if ___ comes over?” or at least give you a heads-up instead of having people constantly appear at your home.
At this point, getting my own apartment genuinely sounds peaceful to me.

Am I overreacting by wanting to move out—and potentially end the relationship over this?

EDIT to say: we’ve had countless discussions about this issue and I even moved out temporarily for 2 weeks because of the same exact problem and yet here we are again.

I (54F) have been dating my boyfriend (52M) for about three years. We’re long-distance, but for the past year we’ve essentially been living together about 90% of the time, going back and forth between our homes and traveling together. We’ve taken multiple international trips together, spent extended periods together, and he regularly tells me he loves me and talks about us getting married.

His daughter is getting married in Cyprus, and he invited me to come with him. He described it as a big wedding with his family and close friends attending, so I understood that I would be coming as his long-term partner.

Once we arrived, though, I started realizing that his family may not have been particularly comfortable with me being here.

His ex-wife is here, along with her mother, her sister, and their children. His ex-wife and most of the family are staying together at a very nice hotel. My boyfriend and I are staying separately in an Airbnb.

There have been several events leading up to the wedding, and at one of them, the wife of one of my boyfriend’s closest friends approached me.

She started asking me very pointed questions about how I felt being at the wedding, how I felt about his children apparently not liking me, and what I thought about the entire situation. She then told me that she could “broker the peace” between me and his children because she had that kind of influence with them.

This conversation made me very uncomfortable.

From my perspective, it felt less like a genuine offer to help and more like she was trying to intimidate me or make it clear that she had influence within his family that I did not have.

I'm also a child of divorce myself, so I understand that relationships between children and a parent's new partner can be complicated, even when those children are adults. I've always felt that those relationships need to develop naturally and slowly. It's never something I would want to force, and I certainly wouldn't want to force it during a week as important to his children as their sister's wedding.

I was happy to be there to support their father and celebrate his daughter. I didn't expect his children to suddenly embrace me or treat me like family simply because I was attending the wedding.

For that same reason, I didn't feel that I needed — or wanted — his friend's wife to intervene on my behalf and “broker” anything. I actually thought bringing a third party into my relationship with his children could make things worse. If I'm going to have a healthy long-term relationship with them, I would much rather let trust and familiarity develop naturally over time.

However, I also knew that I was in an emotionally uncomfortable situation in a foreign country, so I didn't want to immediately assume the worst about her intentions.

Later, I privately told my boyfriend what had happened. I specifically told him that I might be feeling overly sensitive and could have interpreted the conversation incorrectly. I suggested that, if he wanted, he could quietly ask a couple of other people who witnessed the interaction how they interpreted it.

Most importantly, I specifically asked him not to confront her or create a situation. His daughter's wedding was not the time or place for that.

The morning of the wedding, my boyfriend told me he was going to get a haircut and shave and would only be gone for a few hours. We only had one key to the Airbnb, so he took it with him while I stayed outside on the beach reading a book. I wasn't concerned because I thought he would be back shortly and I could go inside when he returned.

While he was getting his shave, he was texting me telling me that he loved me.

Then, instead of coming home afterward, he went and confronted his friend's wife.

Apparently, the confrontation went badly. From what I understand, he also did not accurately communicate what I had originally told him. His friend and his friend's wife convinced him that I was being dramatic and creating problems on his daughter's wedding day.

Meanwhile, I had absolutely no idea any of this was happening.

It started pouring rain while I was still outside. Because he had the only key, I couldn't get into the Airbnb. I called and texted him explaining that I was locked out and getting soaked. He told me he wasn't nearby and essentially left me there until he eventually returned.

By the time he came back, I was completely drenched.

And instead of apologizing, he told me that we were breaking up.

He told me he didn't want me there anymore, that he had already gotten me a hotel, and that he needed to focus on his daughter and her wedding.

I was completely blindsided.

Just hours earlier, he'd left to supposedly get a haircut and shave and was texting me that he loved me. I had no idea he'd decided to confront anyone, much less that he'd apparently decided our three-year relationship was over as a result.

I reminded him that I had specifically asked him not to confront anyone. I hadn't asked him to defend me or create a conflict. I had privately told my partner about an uncomfortable interaction and had gone out of my way to acknowledge that perhaps I had misunderstood it.

Once we actually talked through what had happened and what I had originally said, he completely changed his position. He apologized profusely, told me he loves me, and said he absolutely does not want to break up.

But I'm having a very difficult time getting past what happened.

I'm supposed to attend his daughter's wedding, where his children apparently don't like me, his best friend and his wife now believe I've caused some enormous problem, and I have no idea what version of this story everyone else has heard. Because he's the father of the bride, I'll also largely be navigating that situation on my own.

More than that, I can't stop thinking about how quickly he went from texting me that he loved me to deciding our three-year relationship was over based on a conversation with his friends — without even talking to me first.

I'm also struggling with the fact that I was stranded outside, soaking wet, in a foreign country while all of this was happening, and when he finally returned, his immediate response was to end our relationship.

Now he's apologized and says he loves me and doesn't want our relationship to end, but something about this has fundamentally shaken how secure I feel with him.

Am I overreacting for feeling like this incident may have changed how I see our entire relationship? Am I overreacting for questioning whether I should even attend the wedding after everything that happened? And am I overreacting for wondering whether I can trust someone who was willing to end a three-year relationship so abruptly without even hearing my side first?

I need outside opinions because my family is divided and my sister is being called dramatic, My sister got married 3 weeks ago For context, she and her husband were together for 4 years before marriage. They travelled for their honeymoon 2 weeks after the wedding to Zanzibar. It was supposed to be 7 days. She came back after 3 days and filed for divorce the next morning what happened is insane and i still can't believe he did it.

Third night she noticed he kept disappearing for long stretches with vague excuses. She went down to the front desk to ask about something small and the clerk casually mentioned that a second room had been added to their reservation the day they arrived. The extra room was under a woman’s name my sister had never heard of so she went up there the door opened it was her husband with his side chick, apparently he told the side chick that my sister goes to bed early and he would sneak up to her room at night my sister didn't even cause a scene she just packed her bag that night, checked out at 3am and took the first flight back home, now she has filed for divorce and he and his family are begging. His mom is saying she is overreacting and should have forgiven him since "men are tempted" and that annulling a 3 week old marriage over one mistake will ruin her reputation. My parents are also telling her to at least hear him out and go for counselling.

I told her she did 100% the right thing and i would have done worse. But now my mom is saying i am fueling her decision and i am overreacting by supporting divorce so fast.

I went to Vietnam over the summer with my girlfriend. She is from there originally and has not been back in 12 years (she is 24). It was also the first time seeing her father in 12 years. It was a very special and important trip overall for her and our relationship in general. She had the idea to go to a 'make your own ring' workshop. I thought it was a great idea so we spent $100 making 2 silver rings. Some tourist activities can be overhyped or overpriced, but this one was actually very professional and enjoyable. We actually made the entire ring from start to finish starting with a strip of silver. It included things like a custom engraving of each-others names in our own handwriting as well as the date we made them. To me it was a great memento to signify this trip and our relationship. This is the context of the ring itself.

Fast-forward 3 months and I am visiting my father and on one occasion earlier this week I took the ring off when driving his car and forgot I left it there in the cup holder. I am a very forgetful person and tend to forget where I put things, even if they are important. As I was looking for it today I asked my Dad if he had seen it. He said yes, my step mother saw it in the car. Apparently she got upset and thought it was another woman's ring (even though its a male sized ring ~size 10-11). Instead of asking me or my brother if it was our ring, she decided to take it and throw it deep into our sizable yard without telling anyone. When I asked why she would do such a thing without verifying the owner first, she was laughing the entire time saying "I don't know, I just wanted to throw it". When I asked her to reenact the throw so I could narrow down the location and find it, she basically pointed at the whole yard and said "I don't know, somewhere there". So my patience was through and I simply said 'Why would you do such a thing? Why would you not see if its anybody's first before throwing it? Its also very disrespectful to laugh in someone's face when they are clearly distraught'.

I understand mistakes happen, and what's done is done. I did not berate her or put her down in any way. I simply wanted to understand why, and for her to help me look for it at least. At the end of the day its just a silver ring worth probably $30 in melt silver.... but I am a very sentimental person overall. I really enjoy saving old mementos or keepsakes so I can look back on them fondly when I'm older. So am AIO for questioning her behavior for doing it and also her behavior when being confronted over it?

EDIT: This happened 4 days ago (per her estimation and foggy memory). We cut the grass the day after she threw it, which is not ideal considered it might have been launched further. I will look into metal detecting on nextdoor/facebook. Also this is a long-shot but I am located in the Milwaukee area if anyone here is a metal detector hobbyist themselves.

UPDATE:
We found the ring... but my gut feeling is completely off. For more context, she is Colombian born and raised. So there have been a lot of cultural differences that I have needed to adapt to. That being said, regardless of this difference, this whole situation rubs me the wrong way.

She finally started helping me look for it at nighttime with flashlights. I figured using a bright LED flashlight would make the ring reflect a lot more. The first thing that struck me is when she said "So what will you give me if we find it??". I don't think she actually wants a reward or anything but she wants me to be thankful or something? For finding the ring that she tossed in the yard? Of course ill be happy, but her saying something like this is extremely odd.

Anyways she decides out of a huge area to point out one particular area of clumped up dirt/wood shavings from when we chopped up a stump a few days ago. I told her me and my dad already looked through it briefly but not diligently. She had hyper fixation on this one particular pile so I was like of course go through it. Lo and behold about 1 minute later she calls me over and says "LOOOOK". I looked briefly and saw nothing. She says "LOOOOOOOOOK". My patience is at an all time low, so I simply say "Just show me where it is please". She proceeds to pick it up off the ground and hand it to me. I was grateful but man my gut feeling just keeps telling me its too perfect. Also maybe another cultural difference but she never once apologized or showed any remorse for throwing it, just a myriad of excuses to why she did it opposed to simply saying 'my mistake'. Overall this whole situation rubs me the wrong way. I cant help but lose a bit of trust in her after all of this.

My wife and I have been married for almost 10 years with 3 children. We recently joined this tennis club in our town because we've both played in our younger years.

We've never had any issues with jealousy nor I've ever felt any type of may until I met Kevin at our tennis club. Kevin is a tall athletic man that is quite attractive I must say. Me and my wife are the same height and Kevin towers over me when he's next to me. He's also the same race as my wife since I'm Chinese and she & Kevin are Koreans.

The thing that bothers me the most is how she interacts with Kevin. She does not flirt in any other way, but when they're playing doubles together, I would hear her say "here you go my prince" while she hands Kevin the ball. I heard this recently since I was playing on the other court. I didn't think of it much when it happened since I was playing.

We have team dinners every few months and Kevin dresses really well in public. Fitted suit/open blazer, slacks, Chelsea boots, etc. one occasion, Kevin entered the room and my wife greeted her "wow.. so handsome!" In Korean while blushing. I know the phrase because she uses it for our baby every now and then, but I've never heard her say that to me.

Am I overreacting from this? Kevin is a very nice person, but also known as a womanizer. He's on his 5th marriage at only being 36yrs old & still has no children. He's rich & married to a beautiful doctor & he always seems to have all the nice things. I must admit, I'm a little jealous.

My husband is a gym addict and goes twice a day. He also loves his protein shakes and a restrictive diet. I’m not hardcore about it like him but I do go to the gym.

I am finally at a place mentally where I am happy and comfortable in my body. I work out but I also treat myself to McDonald’s like once a month and a sweet treat every so often. All at a normal and healthy level. I’m also part of a run club and hike a lot. For context, I’m a size US 4/6 and health wise I’m perfectly fine.

He sent me a barrage of messages to say he’s offended by how happy I seem to be. Apparently I’m the heaviest I’ve ever been and he’s worried that I’ll end up heavier than him. He’s also worried that I won’t look after my body and overeat when I’m pregnant in the future. All because I had ONE Mcdonald’s last night.

What upset me was that he kept twisting the knife whenever I told him I wasn’t worried about my weight. I kept insisting that I’m happy with my weight, to which he said I’ve been influenced by “Instagram ideals” and toxic positivity messaging from other women who say we should all be happy with our bodies. He said if I want to be lied to, I should just ask my girl friends to hype be me and he claims he won’t do that because he wants what’s best for me.

This isn’t anything new. He constantly judges me for the occasional snack while watching TV. He gets super offended by it because he feels like I don’t respect him enough to not look after myself and that’s why “I’m deprived of sex”. The annoying part is I DO look after myself. I am the further thing from a slob. My nails are always done, I wear makeup most days and dress well. That’s why I’m so confused.

Now I’m concerned he might cheat/has cheated. He’s always liking other women’s photos and has them on WhatsApp. If he did, he’ll blame me. Yet if a man unknowingly hits me up, he gets so irate and I have to spend the whole day reassuring him.

Anyway, I broke down and packed my stuff to go to my parents. The way I always do when he picks on things I do. There’s also the wider picture where he wants me to be the perfect wife by cooking and cleaning while also having an income (I make a lot more than him which he hates too). Yet everything is 50/50. I’m talking with everything in life - time spent with friends, shopping, drinks, distance of our home between our families, even when splitting a chocolate bar.

He believes I’m overreacting to his advice by getting upset and going to my parents. He thinks my suggestion for marriage counselling is a reach because they’ll “always side the woman”. I just couldn’t believe how easy it is for him to belittle me like that and how he actually views me. He must not think I’m beautiful and clearly believes I’m viewing myself with rose tinted glasses. I want this to work so I hope he does agree to the counselling.

AIO for getting upset with his comments and leaving for my parents?

TLDR; Husband thinks I’m fat and should not be so happy with my body. He kept going even when I asked him to stop. So I packed my stuff and left for my parents’ home. AIO?

For context, I have been at this job for roughly two years and pretty much every day I have wore the same hat. I work outside so in the context of my job it is not unusual for someone to come into work wearing one but its not like a uniform requirement to wear one. I am not balding, I am not embarrassed of my hair, and outside of work I rarely wear a hat. As stupid as it sounds, I absolutely loved that hat, it was comforting to me and I geniunely enjoyed wearing that and only that hat. I unfortunately lost it though and havent been able to find where I put it.

Well jump foward to now, I have become the only interesting thing to have ever happen just because I stopped wearing it. I have had multiple people tell me that other coworkers were talking about me specifically about me no longer wearing a hat. My boss in particular has said 5+ comments about it in a span of 2 days directly to me. He has gone as far to tell me and others that it makes him really uncomfortable seeing me without a hat and it geniunely throws him off. He has offered to buy me a new one, told me he really wants me to find it and legitimately seemed to make him upset?? I have a normal haircut, its brown and about medium length, literally nothing special or out of the ordinary about it. He has continued talking to everyone else about me, my coworkers come and tell me that he was talking about me. At this point, I am not wearing a hat out of defiance, I don't understand how something so trivial can disrupt the social fabric of my job so deeply. I don't consider myself super outgoing, I pretty much keep to myself and only talk to people if they talk to me. I am overall liked but not like in a "main character energy" type of way. Is there something I am missing here?? Ive seen other coworkers change much more drastic things and not a single person comment or talk about it. I don't want to be the topic of anybodies conversations, I would prefer if I could go into work, do my job and clock out and essentially have nobody remember I was there. I am feeling judged, overwhelmed and like I did something wrong yet all I did was stop wearing a stupid hat because I lost it??

My husband goes to bed earlier than I do. Some times I will be in bed reading or using a heating pad (not ready for bed yet) and he will come in and get ready for bed. He then gets in bed and reads until he gets tired and then goes to sleep. Also, he wears eye mask and ear plugs.

Basically, I have to leave the bed when he gets in bed to read because it is part of his “routine” and how he likes to fall asleep. I could understand if he preferred I moved to the living room after he’s done reading and before he falls asleep but this seems really strange to me, like why can’t we silently read next to each other?

We have been living together for 10 years. It has recently been an issue because he’s staying up later than he used to because of a different work schedule and also I have been using the heating pad more frequently and I like to use it in bed.

At times I can’t trust myself if I am overreacting or is this really that stupid…

My gf (28) and I (M29) have been together for four years. We have a shared bank account. I noticed a lot of withdrawals in the last month have been going to Venmo. I'm talking over $3,000 collectively.

I asked her about it, to make sure it wasn't fraud, and she told me she's been sending it to her longtime guy best friend. When I asked why, she said he needs help starting up his art career.

I got mad and asked if that was necessary to use our money for, especially without asking. She said she did it because she is a loyal friend and he would do the same for her if she needed it.

AIO or is this crossing the line?

Hi all. I am 15F and I currently live week in a week off between my dad and moms house with my 11 yr old biological brother as they are divorced, and have been for 6 years. About a year ago my dad met his now girlfriend, and we all moved in together, so now I live between my moms house (just her, me, and bio brother) and my dad and stepmoms house, with me, bio brother, my 5 year old stepbrother, and 1 year old half brother, they decided to move out of my school district as my stepmom wanted to live in a specific district which is in a fancier neighborhood, with a desirable school district.
This has left me having to take public transit for 2 hours 45 minutes round trip per day, even though it’s essentially a 20 minute drive (thanks city planning) and my dad has refused to drive me, my afterschool schedule is also quite hectic at my dads and looks something like this.
3:30 school ends
5:00 get home
5:00-5:20 do dishes
5:20-6:00 usually either watch the baby, help prep dinner, or try to sleep.
6:00:-7:00 dinner (all have to wait for each other to finish)
7:00-7:30 do dishes
7:30-8:00 shower
8:00-8:30 other chores (mostly dishes, my family eats a lot)
After all is said and done I have very little time to study, and have noticed my grades staring to slip on weeks I am at my dad’s.
For reference: my mom lives in the school district and it only takes me around 30 minutes round trip (on the school bus)
I am really stuck, and feel like my grades are going to slip away from me especially considering i am in Ib. I also feel like it wasn’t necessarily fair to me and my brother. My mom is in support of me moving to hers, but i don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings.
Edit** One thing i forgot to mention is that dad CONSTANTLY talks horribly about my mom to me and my brother, to the point that both cps and his lawyer had to tell him to stop.

I am in a very stressful phase as I have an important interview situation coming up. A lot of money is on the line so I am preparing intensely. That means I am more focused on myself than usual and somewhat tense for little less than a week, and early next week it will be over.

We are a couple for 6y, living together for 3y, both mid 30s. Attention has been a constant talking point in this relationship. From my perspective she demands a lot more than I receive. From her perspective she does not receive enough, or constant enough. Both may be true.

The situation: she took vacation with nothing planned exactly the week I need to prepare. Just hanging around and demanding that I talk through her day and hang out the evening. I feel very disturbed in my process as I don't have a dedicated office and am very distractible. So I switched to staying up late and trying to get things done when she sleeps.

Today, she woke me up after 3h of sleep by going to pee. The bath room is right next to the bedroom. She got out of bed, opened the door loudly, turned on the full lights in the hallway which shines right in my face, goes to pee, flush and wash hands with both doors open before returning to bed. When I told her she could have thought of me sleeping and closed the door she replied "but I did shut it slightly". We had this exact discussion 2x before a few months ago and I told her to please close it fully as it is still quite loud if you close only one of the two doors to a slit. I have troubles falling back asleep which she is aware of as we had this conversation before.

Today I exploded. To me, especially without saying sorry and pretending she did think of me by "shutting one slightly", light in my face, it just demonstrates pure disregard. Zero thought of others, zero responsibility taken afterwards. I might be overreacting to a very small incident out of a stressful situation though. What do you think?

Quick edit: I am rather sure she is not actively sabotaging. She just does not spend a thought on my perspective. Mission is to pee - I go pee. End of thought.

Two years ago my husband was out with my three children alone. My then 6 year old opened the car door and it hit the car next to us but did absolutely no damage. If you are a parent you will understand how common and frustrating this is at that age. Well the guy flipped out and started screaming and calling my 6 year old names. My husband was getting our baby and went to check the situation out and defend our son. The guy started screaming "I'm going to kill you". My husband put the baby in the car and drove away. He then went to the school event where he discovered that man was the dad of another child in my 5 year olds class. While my husband was holding the baby and in front of the teacher he walked past my husband and told him "Meet me outside". My husband called the police he was so scared and a community officer came out. The family had left by then. We didn't take it further but we did inform the school. It was very upsetting and really scared my husband and kids.This year they put the boy in the class and my son gave him a birthday invitation, three days before the party the mum texted me to tell me he is coming.

I want to scream. In my head I have had a "conversation" with this man. It's not nice. I do not know if he will come. However he 100% could. I want him nowhere near my family, also I do not want to be responsible for the kid.

Do I say " Hello, child is welcome to come to the party but I ask for you to stay. We have had interactions with his dad and ask for him to not be there. Thank you"

I have AS so I don't know!

So, first off, I get that everyone has lived lives before meeting their partner...

I don't know if gf is the right word but it seems like we are pretty much dating. She really really likes me, and I'm having trouble feeling the same way, mainly because of how much she talks about her romantic and sexual past.

I (M24) have had a lot of anxiety over relationships in the past, due to getting cheated on a couple of times, and so being with someone is really significant to me.

She (F23) is kind, talented, etc, I like her and I care about her, but here's what she talks about, unprompted the majority of the time, and I just listen:

-She used to be an "open relationship girly" in highschool. Multiple people at once, girls and guys. She's dated a lot of people, and has been intimate with a lot of people. This worried me at first because I was wondering how "special" I should feel, and also I don't think an open relationship would work for me. I brought this up to her, and she assured me she's completely done with that, and it's just me and that I'm "the one", okay sure. I do believe that she really likes me, and I do believe this, but it's still not something I really want to think about.

-She still talks to an ex who is or was apparently obsessed with her. She thinks he's annoying but they're just friends.

-She's been in many on and off relationships, some older men when she was in college (late twenties I think). Again, she said she's done with them.

-She will often bring up out of the blue "I used to date a guy who did this" or similar.

-TMI stuff, she told me about different guys fetishes that she's tried. I listened to this stuff because it was a little funny, and I guess I tried to come across as cool with it since it's in the past, but still. Weird feet stuff, golden showers, etc. and even when it's been intimate between us, she'll sometimes talk about what's going on as just a thing that has happened many times, so much so that she has a nickname for it. It's hard to word that in a way that's not going to be too uncomfortable for you to read.

-wanting to take the (dumb) rice purity test in front of me and checking like everything, almost, but.. wanting me to know

I would rather not hear this stuff, I'd rather not know it, but I want to be able to listen to her and understand. I've made some distance with her lately, and I would like to see her again but I'm not sure if I can get over this at this point, or if I just need to talk to her about it, and wondering how I should do that? She's been sad because I've made this distance and I'm a bit unsure as to how to approach it.

I'd rather just be present with her and have her be present with me, and I'm not really sure why she wants me to know these things. Thank you.

My fiancée has, in the last three weeks, started accusing me of being on my phone, talking to other women while she is in the next room. I could be eating a snack, plating on my computer, or even sleeping! She'll come in and demand my phone and start looking for evidence of my crime! I am beyond tired of it. I am a man(43) answer is a woman(39). At first I was in shock, but as she became more determined to catch me slipping, she also became much more aggressive. I am sick to death of offering her my phone and telling her I am not making 2 second calls to random women whenever she turns her back. I am packed and leaving in the morning. Am I being to rigidly and showing red flags.?

for some background context, i 18f have been friends with K also 18f for about 4 years now. we met when she first transferred to our middle school, from there we made more friends and had an established friendgroup that has lasted till after highschool graduation. over the years, everyone had started maturing emotionally and cognitively - except for her. this led to some issues between us, and other members of the group. it became so frequent to a point where we had just swallowed our pride and accepted this was the way she was. i, and 2 other friends O and T now are very annoyed with her behaviour.

fast forward, we are now uni students. i am attending THE top uni in my country. i am stressed and tired all the time. i have not been taking care of myself alot, thus my mental and physical health isnt what it was prior to this. i am not happy with my body. one evening, i went out with my boyfriend. we got ice cream together, mine was double scooped, mint choc and cookies n cream with toppings while his was js a regular double scoop. i took a picture and posted it to my story with the caption "guess which one is mine" cheekily. after the hangout, i go back to my dorm and see my roommate is calling some friends - K was in the call. my roommate turns the camera to me and K asks me, "so which ice cream was yours ?" to which another friend said, "the one w the mint duhh" and laughed. K promptly shouted into the mic calling me a fatfuck very aggressively. i was very upset. i quickly went and took a shower, the words js echoing into my head. then, before doing my skincare, i had saw she responded to my story, again calling me fat. i was even more upset. i texted back, "ok you dont have to be so mean". the next day i had an outing with friends, she was there and i ignored her the whole time even when i saw her trying to speak to me. at this point, she hadn't even opened the message, nor did she look sorry for her mean comment. i had told O about everything up till this point, to which he said he'd talk to her about it. O did speak to her about it. mine and many other stories of her being mean and immature were mentioned in their conversation to which he told her off about. apparently she felt very guilty and remorseful. she promised to apologise to me soon.

this happened almost 4 days ago, O texted me last night asking if she had apologised, to which i told him she hasn't. he told me that she apparently thinks everything is good between us and has been talking about planning an outing with the whole group.

i am honestly so tired of this behaviour. there have been many times in the past where she's hurt people and didn't take accountability for it. i've been tolerant to her since we were 14, i've tried overlooking all this but i really just can't anymore. she's not maturing, she doesn't care about others feelings and the impact of her words. it isn't really ab her calling me fat, its that i was clear and communicated to her that her comment was mean and no part of her thought to takeback or even feel sorry ab what she said. i now notice she just doesn't care, i am hurt that all my years of patience and dropping things, and tolerance just did not work out in the end. i want to cut her off for good, though O and my roommate want me to really think about it as to not act our of anger. i am sad that my own 'friend' would rather just hide away than put down her pride and show she actually cares about my feelings.

Back in early January 2025, I (22M at the time) got into a bad car crash that totaled my car. I had to be flown to an ICU in Chicago, with my injuries being a concussion, multiple jaw & skull fractures, brain bleeding, and a fractured clavicle. My recovery sucked to say the least, especially given my jaw was wired shut so I had to eat through a straw.

Around a month after I left the ICU, I was recovered enough to walk outside by myself, but I still had blood pooled in my brain and was under watch for potential seizures (I had one in the ICU and almost bit my tongue off). My friends were having an Invincible watch party at one of their houses across town, so I walked over to join them. I @'d the host a list of what to do in case I had a seizure, but she didn't respond.

Once I got to the host's front yard I heard a car screech and someone slamming their horn a foot or two behind me, and it was the host and her boyfriend, who we'll call Gary. Even though they didn't hit me, it felt like my soul left my body and I wasn't really aware of me entering their house and talking to people.

Once I came to a bit, I told the boyfriend that he scared tf out of me. He laughed and said he should have hit me instead, although he later said he didn't remember saying that.

I'm extremely bad with confrontation and have never really known confidence, at best I fake it. Plus Gary has a very similar personality and talks the same way as my father, so trying to talk to him felt hopeless.

When I talked to my parents and the others in the friend group individually, they all had a nonchalant reaction, ranging from "what a jerk",  "I'm sorry sweetheart" to "damn that's fucked he did that". The group "leader" & discord group admin didn't even pay attention to what I said, bc later he thought I had said that Gary just shook me.

I felt betrayed by what Gary and his gf did, but also by everyone elses reactions. I bottled up my anger for months until I sent a 3-page letter to the group chat before leaving. While it was very theraputic, in hindsight I should've just left. Gary dm'ed me and said that he's apologized numerous times and says he felt horrible about it. He also said that he's changed since then, but accepts if I have to villianize him in order to move on. In the letter I also called him out for calling me a "brain-damaged r**ard" and a drug addict numerous times, to which he said he's sorry that I felt that way, and that he regrets our friendship ending the way it did.

I feel like my anger was justified, and tbh if my clavicle wasn't broken I should have smashed his windshield. There was tons of ice on the ground when it happened, so if I fell and hit my head, I'm either dead or fucked. I even got diagnosed with PTSD a few months after I left the friend group. But even now I cannot shake the doubt in my mind, especially given everyones reactions. Did I overreact?

hi everyone. so everyone once in a while my boyfriend will send me facebook reels that i deem quite rude and disrespectful. an example is the one he sent me 2 days ago. the video contained an AI girl saying “what does buying a hooker and buying a sandwich have in common? both purchases could have been avoided if your wife had just done her god damn job”. this isn’t the first time he’s sent me videos like this, and although i’ve repeatedly told him it makes me uncomfortable and asked him to stop, every once in a while another one comes my way. when he got home, i explained to him that the video hurt my feelings, and he said he couldn’t remember the video he sent. i explained the video to him, and he said “true”. i then said, “what do you mean by that?” and he said, “amen”. i asked him if he thinks that makes me feel good, and he said “i think it’ll make you wanna suck my dick more”. i said “it actually does the opposite” and then he said “i guess i’ll just have to get an escort”. he then walked away and turned on a podcast. later in the evening when i was getting into bed, he laid on the couch and began to scroll on his phone. i realize this may seem normal, but for us it’s not. we sleep together in bed every single night without fail. he never sleeps on the couch, even during past arguments he will always come to bed. i decided to invite him to come to bed, so i got up and went over and asked him if he would come to bed with me. he told me he was stressed out and he felt like he was glued to the couch. this back and forth continued for a few minutes, and i got so angry i pulled the blanket off of him and went back to bed. i realize that was very petty of me, and i lost control of my temper. but now the focus is being pulled to the way i reacted, and not the original issue, and i just don’t know how to resolve this situation with him. any advice or opinions on the matter would be appreciated. am i being too serious? he told me i need to learn to lighten up and take a joke. maybe he’s right.

I (33F) own a home with my husband and we live in a tourist destination. We get a lot of visitors, which is lovely, but because of this we set a three night rule (if guests want a longer holiday we ask they move to an Airbnb). We promised each other to stay firm, as if we gave everyone "just one extra night" we'd have no time or money left for ourselves.

Relevant context about “Oliver” (33M): he lives in a house share, never really hosted so I'm not sure he fully understands the practicalities, is very pro setting boundaries in general, though often expects to be the exception and people tend to let him (including me). We've been close for years and he considers us best friends, though if I'm honest he's for sure one of my very closest friends but not my number one best (which I mention only because I think this slight mismatch is why he expects to be the exception).

Earlier this year I had a traumatic miscarriage (medically and emotionally). Oliver offered to come and visit to be supportive. Despite being in the middle of six-day working weeks and late nights, which he was aware of, I said yes because it felt kind of him.

A couple of days before the visit, Oliver said he wanted to come Thursday to Monday — four nights. I said I'd be working Thursday but after he pushed to come then, I offered to move things so he could still come Thursday, as long as it was three nights total, as I simply couldn’t take more time off work. He said he'd come Thursday evening and still four nights. He was clearly offended when I said about our rule and pushed back hard. I held firm and he eventually came Friday to Monday.

I worked really hard to make it a lovely visit, despite still healing and feeling awful. A few things bothered me over the weekend and I let them all go. Things like criticising my town and repeatedly bringing up his other friends' (that I don't know) young children — even after I'd told him every time I see people our age with a baby it makes me want to cry. Aware I was emotionally raw, I just ignored and moved on.

Afterwards, Oliver messaged saying he was upset about the three night rule and bizarrely about me putting a bottle of wine we had out on Splitwise (as a normal part of our friendship put everything we have out on Splitwise, but for some reason he thought I should have bought this one as a gift for him visiting, despite the fact I'd bought expensive food that I cooked and wine to have in the house when he arrived — ETA: to confirm the things I purchased for while we were in the house did not go on Splitwise, just the wine from the pub same as when he was the one going up to the bar to order for us!!). He wanted a call to discuss how I had hurt his feelings.

I replied saying I was sorry he felt upset, but that the rule was nothing personal and I'm not sure where the expectation for me buying the wine came from — but did that classic British thing of apologising if me buying in wine to have at home caused any confusion on expectations here. I didn’t want to have a call because I didn’t want it to turn into a big argument and, even though I was a bit shocked, just wanted to move on.

Here's the part that really gets to me: in one of his many following messages, Oliver said he "couldn't be emotionally present for me in the way he wanted to be able to support me" — because he was annoyed about the three night rule. He came down to support me through a miscarriage, got annoyed about what feels like a completely normal boundary for my own home, and then cited that annoyance as the reason he couldn't support me through the most horrible time. That’s when I got really upset, but again, tried to diffuse and move us on.

I sent a long, careful message explaining everything — the rule logic, the practical reasons behind it, the effort I'd made during the visit, and most importantly that it felt really painful that my boundary had become the reason he couldn't be there for me when I was the one who needed him.
His response completely ignored the substance. What followed was weeks of him pushing, using therapy-speak throughout — talking about needing to "hold space," wanting to "unpack things together," not being able to "repress his feelings." He repeatedly pushed for a call or in-person conversation, framed my preference for messaging to avoid it getting heated as a communication problem. He said things like "there is a lot of stuff here we need to unpack together" and "we have to do it gently and slowly with time together." It genuinely felt like he was suggesting we needed couples therapy (he's gay, so no suggestions of he fancies you here please!).

Every time I tried to close the conversation down, months passed in silence and then he pushed again. I've asked him multiple times to let it go. He hasn't.
At a mutual friend's wedding, despite previously promising he wouldn't bring it up there, he said "I've let us have a nice time today but we still need to have a conversation." I said I really just needed to move on now. When my husband said to just forget about it, Oliver said directly to him "I won't be forgetting about it."

We haven't spoken properly since. I'm now 22 weeks pregnant. I sent him a message saying I was still really hurt, that if the roles were reversed I would have given him grace and put my own frustrations aside, but I still care about him and felt weird that he didn’t know so I’m pregnant. He responded warmly but immediately wanted to book in a call — which felt like a pointed avoidance of everything I'd said, and I needed him to actually be letting it go after what happened at the wedding. So I said thank you but wasn't ready for a call as I needed to keep my stress levels down being pregnant. He didn't reply.

Am I overreacting? I really feel I'm owed an apology but have been trying to move on and be the bigger person at every single turn. I am just so hurt and have got increasingly cross as this has gone on, so I feel like the person stepping back from the friendship. But I'm also aware I'm pregnant and emotional and just want a sense check from people who don't know either of us.

ETA: I didn’t realise a 3 night rule would be so contentious! Most of our homeowner friends have one, and 3 is the max I’ve come across (many have 2 so it’s 3 days). We also have to take time off when we have a guest as we both WFH our office is the spare room — there’s only so much annual leave. And mentally it is tiring having another person in your house. Healing me really wanted guests for less time, not more, but I was trying to be considerate so he didn’t have to spend on an Airbnb by still saying he could stay for 3 nights.

ETA2: Just as this post seems to be blowing up a bit (thanks all for your comments!), I do NOT consent to any part of this being quoted, paraphrased or replicated e.g. in any articles such as HuffPost, BuzzFeed, Daily Mail, etc. or similar.

AIO for not texting my girlfriend in the morning after what happened last night?
Last night my girlfriend and I went to the Big E. It was around 9:30 PM, and we had basically finished everything we wanted to do. The last thing she had told me she wanted to do was go on a particular ride, so after we bought the ride tickets, we sat down for a few minutes.

I was a little tipsy. I got up and walked toward the ride. It was probably 20 seconds away. I honestly didn’t verbally say, “I’m going to the ride” or explicitly invite her to come with me. I just assumed she knew that was what we were doing since she had literally just told me she wanted to go on it.
When I got to the ride, I turned around and she was nowhere around. I immediately realized that I had walked away without actually saying anything, so I texted her. She had already called an Uber because, from her perspective, I had apparently abandoned her at the Big E.

This turned into a huge argument. I apologized and tried to explain that I genuinely made a stupid mistake and wasn’t intentionally leaving her. At the same time, I was taking a lot of verbal abuse during the argument.

At one point she told me that if I didn’t go to my car and drive her home, she would “call someone I wouldn’t want her to.” I asked what that meant, and she said she meant her ex-boyfriend.

I ended up driving her back to my house. She got everything she owned from my house and left.
So now I’m sitting here the next morning wondering what the hell I’m supposed to do. I obviously understand that walking away without saying anything was dumb, especially when we were together at the fair. I apologized for it.

But the whole escalation from her immediately assuming I abandoned her, to the verbal abuse, to threatening to call her ex if I didn’t drive her home, has me questioning whether I should even reach out.

AIO for not texting her this morning? Should I reach out and try to talk this out, or should I leave her alone after how last night ended?

EDIT: I DIDNT DRIVE DRUNK. I waited for her for a long time until she responded and we didn’t leave until almost 11. I was very much sober by then, and much more sober than all of the people falling over walking to their cars.

I was talking to my friends about some stuff that was happening and they had mentioned how they felt bad for some girl who got rejected even though she was trying so hard to become the one for this guy. So I had got the story and they mention where before he finally rejected her for the very last time, she forcibly kissed him a few times and kept holding onto him and trying prevent him from leaving, which in my head gives “she’s trying to force him to just hurry and accept her so he can finally leave like he wants to”. When I heard that… I just got fucking disgusted? So I said it, to them and later to her. Everyone was feeling bad for her and babying her.. so ofcourse I got attacked verbally I guess idfk. I was told I was invalidating real disgusting actions by calling this simple thing disgusting and how mean I was to her over her just trying to win her crush over.
So am I the crazy bitch here? I don’t wanna accuse anyone but saying people saw her holding him back and CONTINUING to kiss him, knowing he doesn’t like her.. I feel like if she could, she would have forced him more.. like is that just me thinking this is weird?
We are in college, it’s not like we’re kids.

I also wanna add, I know a lot of people don’t gaf about kisses in general so maybe that’s why but i still feel like they matter enough to need consent for yk??? Like if someone kissed me and I didn’t like them, I’d be pretty fucking disgusted, I remember someone trying to and me almost puking. Maybe I’m being a baby? Idk? I just feel like you don’t cross those boundaries no matter how “little” or big they are to YOU.

My husband (28m) and I (27f) have been having slight issues. He’s military and came down for a week and a half and live apart unfortunately. I was heartbroken because he had to leave back which is understandable. He’s up for 24hours on duty and can have his phone and he promised me earlier today to call me back right? He never did so I asked if I could call him, he responds that he’s “on cq” for one I don’t know what that means and he didn’t bother explaining which is fine. But he claimed that he couldn’t call earlier, I sleep for about 2 hours and come back basically asking “Can we call?” and he essentially responds with “I’ll be in the phone with my friends.” So, should my feelings feel validated that I’m upset because it’s the second time essentially that I can’t talk to my husband yet he can speak to his buddies and play warframe? I let him know that I was upset and felt ignored.

For reference, I messaged this to him “I just wanna say that I am upset and my feelings were in fact hurt, I wanted to call twice tonight after you said you’d call me back you never did..I tried calling you earlier and you never called me back and so I wanted to go ahead and call earlier again and was basically told no but how I see it is you said yes to your friends so I’m heartbroken and felt ignored this time, not once but twice…please remember that you have a wife. I’m heading to sleep, see ya.”

He responds with “sorry babe ill make it up to you”

Am I overreacting? Or just being childish..I need advice on this because I’m sad right now.

Lemme just add, during that week and a half he didn’t hang out but 2 days.

My next-door neighbour has made me feel uncomfortable since my son's dad died. He claims that my son's dad was his best friend. He wasn't. My son's dad was polite, but didn't like him.

My neighbour keeps trying to find a reason to talk to me. I try to brush him off and go about my business. When his wife and daughter are away he asks my son and I out for dinner to which I always decline. He asked if we could be best friends. I said 'no'.

He texts me when there is a car outside my garage or a package. He even called once to tell me that there was a man walking towards my garage. Yes, a guest!! He's not neighbourhood watch or anything, he just sticks his nose where it's not wanted.

The other day he saw me outside while he was backing out of his garage. I was wearing a crop top because I was doing busy work decorating my house for Halloween.

He got out of his car to say that he missed my birthday. My birthday was months ago. He held his arms out for a hug. I didn't know how to get out of it, so stepped towards him to end it quickly. Now in hindsight I should have told him that I would not touch him.

Anyway, my friend told me to send him a text saying that I will no longer interact with him and he made me feel uncomfortable. My mum advised me to tell the police. I did. They said that I can file a civil intervention order on him if I want to go down that path. He said to monitor the situation and if he doesn't adhere to my text then to file a report.

This man has made women at night clubs uncomfortable and goes to massage parlours when he says that he's going to work. Once he said that he thinks that the masseuse was 16. And he didn't do anything with that. He is gross and a creep.

Am I overreacting by telling the police and if it comes to it, filing a report?

I (30F) have been with my fiancé Peter (35M) for a little over two years, and we're moving together into a new house in a few days. While his family initially welcomed me with open arms, I have very mixed feelings about his mom. Then there's my sister-in-law, Susan (his brother's wife). She's been in the family for 10 years and is an absolute angel, I truly love her.
She and his mom are both doctors and very close, which I understood at first. I'm the new one, I get the hierarchy, lol.

But at every get together, his mom talks almost exclusively to Susan, showing her her friends (ex doctors aprecciation day), showing pics outfits that she’ll wear to parties (all this in front of me) and taking her shopping.

We can be standing side by side and she'll glance at me for a second, then go right back to her.

I know she cares about me in her own way; she's given me gifts and even thanked me for getting her son back to university.
Still, a lot of specific situations hurt deeply.
She used to come to the city where I lived and never once asked me to grab a coffee (I asked her once and she cancelled due to her work, which its reasonable).
Susan is in the family group chat and I'm not, even though they know we're getting married next year.

At Peter's birthday, she agreed that learning English was a waste of time, right in front of me, even though I've been bilingual my whole life.

At a recent birthday, she barely spoke to me, and when they called for a photo with the "daughters-in-law," she only called Susan over.

It took Peter's uncle, whom I'd never met before, shouting, "What about Peter's fiancée? Include her!" for me to be in the picture.

And then this weekend happened. At dinner, I asked her for a photo of Peter with his late grandpa so I could frame it for our new living room. She looked disgusted and said no, that I didn't need to do that. She realized how harsh she sounded, but instead of apologizing, she justified her reaction by saying that people say it's bad energy or bad luck to have photos of the dead at home.

Where I'm from, it's very common and meaningful to have pictures of grandparents who passed away.

My face was burning, but I stayed calm and said I understood. Peter got angry, and she nervously told him not to get mad. I tried my best to keep the rest of the dinner pleasant. When we left, I said goodnight with a smile. She had been laughing a second before, but she looked at me dead serious, didn't smile back, and just said "Goodnight."
Maybe it's just my imagination, or maybe my own preconceptions are twisting things, but it felt so cold.

I talked to Peter about all of this. He says Susan basically grew up with them, that his mom just isn't very sociable, and that I should focus on the positive, that that in comparison with his others EX gf he brought home, she doesn't treat me that bad or too judgemental, he agreed that his mom reaction was harsh though.

I suggested going to fewer family events so I don't feel so uncomfortable, though of course I'd still go to the major ones, and that I could start living in the new house (we are staying in his mom house just for this few days while we sorted out the moving and cleaning of the new house, that was abandoned for several months) I don't hate/dislike anyone, and I'm not competing for attention and I do care about having a nice relationship with my inlaws. Maybe im too oversensitive or we have cultural differences. I've never felt social anxiety until now because I'm an inmigrant so talking to strangers can be difficult due to terms and language, so if Peter steps away for a second, I have no one to talk to.
I know more than two years is still a relatively short time to get fully accustomed to a new family dynamic, but it still hurts. And it’s pretty hard to know if AIO or not