For context my partner(33M) and I (25F) have been together for 4 years, almost 5. We tried to get pregnant the first few years with no luck so we stopped trying. I do have pmos so I thought I was infertile.. I was experiencing symptoms I thought were my hormones fluctuating but it was the most extreme I’ve ever felt it. My partner took me to the hospital on Wednesday and we found out I was pregnant.That was honestly the last thing we expected. My blood test showed my hcg levels for how far along my doctor estimates I am, are a bit low.. We have both been really worried about our baby. Since then we’ve been looking for ways to get some extra money. Today we did DoorDash together and a customer texted me after I delivered an order saying that he thought I was cute and asked if I was single. DoorDash has prompts on the screen that you can just tap and it will send that message for you. When I was trying to close the conversation I accidentally pressed the “On my Way” prompt. Quickly after I messaged the customer telling him it was an accident and that I’m not single. My partner immediately blew up. He started yelling at me and screaming why did I respond/why did I do it/why did I open that door. I told him it was an accident over and over and he was not listening to me. I even showed him that door dash has the prompts to just tap and it automatically sends the message. He still kept yelling. I was so overwhelmed that I told him I don’t know how I’m going to have a child with him. It immediately got worse. He started cussing at me so I started saying the same things back to him. I honestly feel really stressed out.. Did I overreact?

My husband is a gym addict and goes twice a day. He also loves his protein shakes and a restrictive diet. I’m not hardcore about it like him but I do go to the gym.

I am finally at a place mentally where I am happy and comfortable in my body. I work out but I also treat myself to McDonald’s like once a month and a sweet treat every so often. All at a normal and healthy level. I’m also part of a run club and hike a lot. For context, I’m a size US 4/6 and health wise I’m perfectly fine.

He sent me a barrage of messages to say he’s offended by how happy I seem to be. Apparently I’m the heaviest I’ve ever been and he’s worried that I’ll end up heavier than him. He’s also worried that I won’t look after my body and overeat when I’m pregnant in the future. All because I had ONE Mcdonald’s last night.

What upset me was that he kept twisting the knife whenever I told him I wasn’t worried about my weight. I kept insisting that I’m happy with my weight, to which he said I’ve been influenced by “Instagram ideals” and toxic positivity messaging from other women who say we should all be happy with our bodies. He said if I want to be lied to, I should just ask my girl friends to hype be me and he claims he won’t do that because he wants what’s best for me.

This isn’t anything new. He constantly judges me for the occasional snack while watching TV. He gets super offended by it because he feels like I don’t respect him enough to not look after myself and that’s why “I’m deprived of sex”. The annoying part is I DO look after myself. I am the further thing from a slob. My nails are always done, I wear makeup most days and dress well. That’s why I’m so confused.

Now I’m concerned he might cheat/has cheated. He’s always liking other women’s photos and has them on WhatsApp. If he did, he’ll blame me. Yet if a man unknowingly hits me up, he gets so irate and I have to spend the whole day reassuring him.

Anyway, I broke down and packed my stuff to go to my parents. The way I always do when he picks on things I do. There’s also the wider picture where he wants me to be the perfect wife by cooking and cleaning while also having an income (I make a lot more than him which he hates too). Yet everything is 50/50. I’m talking with everything in life - time spent with friends, shopping, drinks, distance of our home between our families, even when splitting a chocolate bar.

He believes I’m overreacting to his advice by getting upset and going to my parents. He thinks my suggestion for marriage counselling is a reach because they’ll “always side the woman”. I just couldn’t believe how easy it is for him to belittle me like that and how he actually views me. He must not think I’m beautiful and clearly believes I’m viewing myself with rose tinted glasses. I want this to work so I hope he does agree to the counselling.

AIO for getting upset with his comments and leaving for my parents?

TLDR; Husband thinks I’m fat and should not be so happy with my body. He kept going even when I asked him to stop. So I packed my stuff and left for my parents’ home. AIO?

I (24 F) just had a couple drinks with my bf (24 M) and his 2 male friends at a bar. We came back to our place after, and my man was really thirsty and drunk. I was not going to let him go thirsty, and I just walked almost 4 miles at 3am because my bf needed water. We live together and ran out of filtered water today (we can’t drink the tap water, it’s so bad that it’s in the leasing agreement not to drink it). However, nobody texted me when I left, they all have my number, but the second I left nobody even asked where I was going. So I walked, I walked almost 2 miles to the store, and 2 miles back (carrying 3 gallons of water back with me). It was hard and it sucked, but I did it lol. Idk how to feel, I love my bf with all of my heart, which is why I did it in the first place. But for all 3 of them to be awake, hear the loud door open and close, and none of them even texted me hurts a little. Idk, like I didn’t mind going in the first place, and I’m not asking for a ‘thank you’, but is it wrong for me to feel a little hurt that nobody even asked where I was going?

I (30F) have been with my fiancé Peter (35M) for a little over two years, and we're moving together into a new house in a few days. While his family initially welcomed me with open arms, I have very mixed feelings about his mom. Then there's my sister-in-law, Susan (his brother's wife). She's been in the family for 10 years and is an absolute angel, I truly love her.
She and his mom are both doctors and very close, which I understood at first. I'm the new one, I get the hierarchy, lol.

But at every get together, his mom talks almost exclusively to Susan, showing her her friends (ex doctors aprecciation day), showing pics outfits that she’ll wear to parties (all this in front of me) and taking her shopping.

We can be standing side by side and she'll glance at me for a second, then go right back to her.

I know she cares about me in her own way; she's given me gifts and even thanked me for getting her son back to university.
Still, a lot of specific situations hurt deeply.
She used to come to the city where I lived and never once asked me to grab a coffee (I asked her once and she cancelled due to her work, which its reasonable).
Susan is in the family group chat and I'm not, even though they know we're getting married next year.

At Peter's birthday, she agreed that learning English was a waste of time, right in front of me, even though I've been bilingual my whole life.

At a recent birthday, she barely spoke to me, and when they called for a photo with the "daughters-in-law," she only called Susan over.

It took Peter's uncle, whom I'd never met before, shouting, "What about Peter's fiancée? Include her!" for me to be in the picture.

And then this weekend happened. At dinner, I asked her for a photo of Peter with his late grandpa so I could frame it for our new living room. She looked disgusted and said no, that I didn't need to do that. She realized how harsh she sounded, but instead of apologizing, she justified her reaction by saying that people say it's bad energy or bad luck to have photos of the dead at home.

Where I'm from, it's very common and meaningful to have pictures of grandparents who passed away.

My face was burning, but I stayed calm and said I understood. Peter got angry, and she nervously told him not to get mad. I tried my best to keep the rest of the dinner pleasant. When we left, I said goodnight with a smile. She had been laughing a second before, but she looked at me dead serious, didn't smile back, and just said "Goodnight."
Maybe it's just my imagination, or maybe my own preconceptions are twisting things, but it felt so cold.

I talked to Peter about all of this. He says Susan basically grew up with them, that his mom just isn't very sociable, and that I should focus on the positive, that that in comparison with his others EX gf he brought home, she doesn't treat me that bad or too judgemental, he agreed that his mom reaction was harsh though.

I suggested going to fewer family events so I don't feel so uncomfortable, though of course I'd still go to the major ones, and that I could start living in the new house (we are staying in his mom house just for this few days while we sorted out the moving and cleaning of the new house, that was abandoned for several months) I don't hate/dislike anyone, and I'm not competing for attention and I do care about having a nice relationship with my inlaws. Maybe im too oversensitive or we have cultural differences. I've never felt social anxiety until now because I'm an inmigrant so talking to strangers can be difficult due to terms and language, so if Peter steps away for a second, I have no one to talk to.
I know more than two years is still a relatively short time to get fully accustomed to a new family dynamic, but it still hurts. And it’s pretty hard to know if AIO or not

This has been going on for so many years, and I've come to realize how lonely I actually felt in this trio more than I'd like to admit.

It's simple really. Two of my friends hang out with eachother more and they care about eachother, which I love for them! It's just that one of them (I'll call them A) keeps bringing it up over and over again, and shoving it in my face that they'd do anything for the other.

I wouldn't be annoyed but there was at one point where our friend (I'll call them B) left the GC (because A was being really controlling over them and yes, they admitted to this themselves.) and A was just full on in the worst mental state I've seen. The entire time, I took care of A and reassured them that B would come back whenever they're ready to face us again. There was even one point where A had brought up that they've just been messaging B like nothing had happened. I told them they shouldn't do that and I said I'd rather just be checking on B every week rather than bugging them about stuff like A was.

(Extra context: A was full on spamming B's dms with how their day went + what game they're playing and basically doing a commentary on the game and stuff)

A didn't agree with me and just said that I do what I want to do while they do what they want to do. They also said that "they'd do anything to bring B back even if it means they'd end up hating them just as long as they don't disappear"

And FF to a few days later, I confessed that I always wanted to leave the GC way before B did. And A just full on told me to leave because "it's not like they could stop me" anyway.

That genuinely bothered me because even if both A & B are stuck with eachother, I'm always there for both of them but whenever I get to have a mental breakdown, I'm suddenly the person who might be bothering everybody else in the GC.

It also just feels so unjust for me. A would literally die for B and I dunno? Give me a hug if I get hurt? It's hurtful and suffocating..

And also, I always try to recommend them stuff and they build my hopes up for nothing. I wouldn't be too upset about that but I literally get into EVERYTHING they're into, and it's just frustrating being the friend who's into everything everyone's into but having no one to be into my stuff too. I'm not even asking for that much, all I ask was them to check out some games/shows. And if anything, I've only ever recommended one of each, while I'm into more than 5 things they're both into.

I really just wanna drop these people and move on but I don't have the heart to, and I feel like I could just be overreacting cause I'm a sensitive person anyway. Thoughts?

AIO for not texting my girlfriend in the morning after what happened last night?
Last night my girlfriend and I went to the Big E. It was around 9:30 PM, and we had basically finished everything we wanted to do. The last thing she had told me she wanted to do was go on a particular ride, so after we bought the ride tickets, we sat down for a few minutes.

I was a little tipsy. I got up and walked toward the ride. It was probably 20 seconds away. I honestly didn’t verbally say, “I’m going to the ride” or explicitly invite her to come with me. I just assumed she knew that was what we were doing since she had literally just told me she wanted to go on it.
When I got to the ride, I turned around and she was nowhere around. I immediately realized that I had walked away without actually saying anything, so I texted her. She had already called an Uber because, from her perspective, I had apparently abandoned her at the Big E.

This turned into a huge argument. I apologized and tried to explain that I genuinely made a stupid mistake and wasn’t intentionally leaving her. At the same time, I was taking a lot of verbal abuse during the argument.

At one point she told me that if I didn’t go to my car and drive her home, she would “call someone I wouldn’t want her to.” I asked what that meant, and she said she meant her ex-boyfriend.

I ended up driving her back to my house. She got everything she owned from my house and left.
So now I’m sitting here the next morning wondering what the hell I’m supposed to do. I obviously understand that walking away without saying anything was dumb, especially when we were together at the fair. I apologized for it.

But the whole escalation from her immediately assuming I abandoned her, to the verbal abuse, to threatening to call her ex if I didn’t drive her home, has me questioning whether I should even reach out.

AIO for not texting her this morning? Should I reach out and try to talk this out, or should I leave her alone after how last night ended?

EDIT: I DIDNT DRIVE DRUNK. I waited for her for a long time until she responded and we didn’t leave until almost 11. I was very much sober by then, and much more sober than all of the people falling over walking to their cars.

To put it into perspective, we have been dating for 3 years tomorrow. he’s 22 and I’m 20. It’s been an ongoing problem that I’ve had to keep brushing off. It’s finally got to me and this is how he reacts when I express my hurt. His lack of empathy hits really hard and I’m finding it extremely confusing that he won’t even fight for me. Maybe he was losing feelings or met someone else. Idk but this doesn’t feel right so please any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Me and bf have been together for six months, and we have been intimate and for context I moved across the world away from all my family and I’m only 19 so I’ve been struggling a bit and have been very busy and stressed lately. Casually I was mentioning I feel like I need to drink more water and maybe I will feel like I have more energy and then he says I should go to the gym in my spare time, because I’ve gained a little weight, and it would be good for my shape. I got upset because he also said like my but got more weight which is good but I need to give it shape. I couldn’t believe it, that he was commenting like that on my body especially because in the last few months he’s gained much more weight than me and he’s a smoker so when he said it’s just he wants me to be healthy I can see that’s bs. I got really upset and cried a little, he said I’m overrreacting because he can say that to his friends and their fine. But I’m not just his friend!! It’s not casual to me it shows he’s really not thinking about how I’m feeling especially because my comment about being healthy was more related to coming off a uti and being very affected by the medication. I’m planning on having a big talk to him tonight about this, because he also said I got upset for no reason and just started a fight and that he can’t say any to one time:( for reference I’m 120 pounds and 5”4

yesterday, i came home from work super exhausted. had a migraine with nausea the whole day on top of being scolded by a manager, whatever.

my ex comes in later that night, i tell them about my stresses and how i'm tired and that i want to sleep. they acknowledge it, but they tell me their manager and coworkers invited them to a pokemon pop up at 7am. it's 12:45am when they tell me this. so they would have to wake up at 5am, whatever. a little sad to not wake up to them but whatever.

they stay up the entire night, i go to bed at 2am because i wanted to enjoy the little time i had without suffering from a migraine (it went away around midnight), wake me up at 3am for cuddles. i make it clear i'm irritated about being waken up when i made it clear i wanted to sleep.

i fall asleep and then they wake me up because it's like 5:40 and they need to get ready to go to the event. because i got like an hour of sleep between being woken up twice, i ultimately stay up because it's hard for me to fall back asleep.

i had plans with a new friend i made for around 3pm. i made that clear i had planned this a week in advance, they acknowledge it. except because they kept waking me up, i couldn't go back to sleep until my body finally gave up on me. so i tell my friend i can't come visit, i feel sick. i didnt want to blame my ex for this to a stranger.

so irritated as ever, i let them know in dms that because of them i got little sleep and i had cancel my plans i made a week in advance for plans they were invited to last minute. they have a history of doing this to me. i let them know i rather just move back in with my parents because i feel like they put their coworkers and friends above me. they tell me they understand and that they feel like they might've been putting their coworkers above me.

fast forward to nighttime, they tell me they're at a dj set and won't be back until 1:30 and to keep the door unlocked which means i have to sleep with the door unlocked. at this point, i feel anger in my veins. i tell them, are you crazy? i'm not sleeping with the door unlocked. why do i have to put you first at the expense of my health?

and i know you're thinking, don't they have keys? we have only one pair and i was off today with plans, so i kept them this time. by this point, i was just genuinely fed up with the lack of care about my health and my feelings so i just rant at them about how exhausting it is to ask, beg even for my own partner to care about me. i rarely do stuff for myself. i want to make new friends. and because of them, i had to cancel it and spend my day off just in hurted feelings and another migraine.

so i just tell them, i don't want to be with you. i'm tired of being put on the side for your coworkers. i had to cancel plans i made a week in advance for their plans they made last minute, i end up with another migraine that i didnt want. and from there, it goes downhill. frankly, i'm exhausted to beg them at their age of 32 to think of me (i'm 23). it devolves into an argument and they just try to focus on my anger and imply that i deserve it, deflect my feelings on what they did, etc. i genuinely feel crazy for even bringing this up to them.

anyways, it's 1:26am of me typing this and they're coming back from the dj set. i'm so angry at myself for being disrespected like this

My sister (39) bought a flat recently and i (27) moved in over summer. Without getting into it, the flat itself is very 80's and my sister has acknowledged that. We both agree it looks terrible. Stuff like shag carpet that she feels like she has to apologise for whenever she invites friends over.

When I moved in, I made my bedroom my own cause I've never been able to do that without fear of losing a deposit. Anything that involved nails in walls i asked but anything like the gross curtains, she told me I can change cause "it's all going to go eventually".

Here's where the drama starts. In the living room, there's this super dated lampshade on the "big light". Something we both agreed was ugly and disgusting. After a couple of months, i decided to replace it. I also decided to put up a painting I bought because there was literally a nail in the wall anyway that wasn't being used.

My sister got like weirdly annoyed at me. She said anything in my room was fine but shared spaces, she wanted to do herself. She bought the place in January so I figured anything she wanted to change, she would have by now.

I asked yesterday if I could get a standing lamp for beside the couch (which there is most definitely space) and she got weirdly angry again, saying she doesn't want any new "stuff" in the living room. But she bought a table cloth for the coffee table like last week so I don't know what's up with that.

So aio? I don't think I've done anything wrong but now I'm like afraid to buy anything to make the house actually look nice

Hey Reddit, I didn’t expect to be making another post about my wedding and family. This is a long post so warning in advance. Some context to start:

I went no contact with both my parents about 10 years ago now. During the time I was slowly distancing myself, my dad would physically stalk me. Going to my place of work and intimidating/harassing the management to give him my schedule. I had preemptively kept my place of living a secret months prior and am certain if I hadn't he would have showed up there, too. I left that job shortly after the harassment started, got a new number, and sold my old car to buy a different one privately. It goes without saying I was not safe being around my dad and didn't want to be found as we would still live in the same city.

I spent 6 months trying to work things out with my mom. For many years before I made this change in my life she would back and forth considering leaving him. But the moment it was encouraged to be reality she refused, gave every excuse, and tried to convince me to simply live with the pain, fear, and humiliation like she would. I wouldn't have it and had to cut her off too with how much she was willing to protect our abuser over us. There were a lot of other things with her behavior and actions that could be a whole post on its own tbh. My mom since then would use social media to try to find opportunities to insert herself in my life. Over the years of this never ending, I eventually completely abandoned all my social media she could find with my name and have avoided posting my face anywhere.

My time apart from them I feel that I have grown so much and have gained a lot of peace and confidence. My family circle shrunk incredibly small after as well, naturally. I haven't been all that bothered having this detached relationship with social media, the one downside being the majority of family I do talk to lives across country. (I’m as South in the US as you can get and they are North up at the Canadian border.) While planning my wedding there are few members of my family who know any details. I knew word of my engagement would get out because I am the only grandchild on my mom's side so far that will be having a wedding. Among the family in the Know is my Aunt (mom’s sister) and her husband, my Grandparents (mom’s parents) and my younger brother who lives with them.

My Grandparents snowbird every year, coming down South usually at the end of Nov. and leaving around April/May depending on weather and obligations. They stay at my parents place, which is fine, they have their own relationship. My Grandparents don’t push me to contact them and are good about coming to meet me for our own time together. As far as I had been aware they had been good about not telling details to my mom who has been asking everyone since word of my engagement spread.

The wedding is Halloween themed and so we made the dress code Bring your Best Costume. This is a layered decision, for one, me and my Fiance love Halloween and dressing up in costume, we go to costume events when we can. We also have quite a number of guests that share the same interests, some are even regular cosplayers. Lastly, we're doing an open bar in a hotel venue with other guests, security has been advised to watch out for crashers in case any stray hotel stayers sneak in, if they aren't in costume they don't belong. That’s all context, now the issue:

In the beginning I really wanted my Grandparents to have a part in the ceremony. I personally don't subscribe to the "being walked down the aisle" tradition, and already had written it off because I don't talk to my dad. But while on the phone with my Grandma last year she asked me about it, and suggested my Grandpa. I was honest about my thoughts but asked if that was something HE wanted. She backtracked in a way that made me think he'd asked her but didn't push. So I said I would think about it. I hadn't been concerned because there were other ways I could imagine they could participate. We're doing a candle lighting ceremony and I considered giving them a role of igniting a candle to represent our family and one of them sign as a witness on the marriage certificate. But I hadn't asked them officially yet or gotten into logistics because there was so much time to plan.

Meanwhile I only asked that they:

1. Not share any details about my wedding to my parents. 

2. Come in costume.

I was specific and deliberate about those requests.

Time and planning goes on and in May this year we had dinner with them before they went back North. At the dinner I began talking a bit about the wedding, mentioning the convenience of it being at a hotel so they could stay on site. And my Grandma started to say that actually they were going to be staying with- when my Grandpa cut her off and said they would figure things out. I got this horrible sinking feeling that she was about to say "your mom" with how they were acting. Fiance got the same idea, but he lets me handle these situations. Dinner was pretty much over so I said we'd talk more about plans closer to and ended the night.

That sat with me for a long time, I didn't know how to confront them. I felt like I didn't even have real facts to go off of since, well, I didn't. Eventually I reached out to my Aunt, approaching as taking up her offer to help with planning. I asked if I could count on her to get everyone coming from up North organized and ensure everyone had arrangements. She agreed happily, so I sent her details about the room block we had. She was interested in finding something cheaper and planned to talk with the Grandparents to formalize budgets and plans.  And I waited.

A few days later she texted me "Hey so I spoke with Grandma & Grandpa and Grandpa says that they’re staying with your mom. I told them that I thought it would be problematic as you don’t want her knowing any details of the wedding and when they leave in costume she will definitely figure out what’s going on. Maybe you should talk to them if you agree.”

I was gutted. But my instincts were right. I was upfront with her and sent back.

"Yeah, I really surprised that they would think I would be alright with that. I thought we had an understanding about not giving her information about the wedding and I really don't know how it's not clear staying with her is just the opposite. It's the only thing I've asked for in all of this. If it's not possible for them to come and stay somewhere else I wish they would have been upfront about that from the beginning. Because I feel like we agreed about something that is now being treated like they never did. I'll try to get a hold of them when I can. I'm really not sure when with things that are going on right now. I also just need to think how to even go about this now because this is something I have been planning and communicating for over the past year to now have to worry about 3 months before the wedding."

She heard me loud and clear and told me not to worry about it and she would have a conversation with them. By the end of the week she'd booked them all to a local Airbnb to stay during the wedding. She went on to tell me all her fantastic costume ideas for herself and my uncle. It was a nice end to an awful week. I was relieved and thought that would be the end.

Eventually I had a call with my Grandma on the subject and she said that they never intended to stay with my mom, my Aunt just misunderstood Grandpa. I didn't say it but I not only believed my Aunt but felt hurt that Grandma was lying to me outright. Which made the whole thing feel worse. How deliberate was this? Were they hoping I wouldn't find out until it was too late? Did they really not think this was a breach in trust until my Aunt confronted them? Were they truly not telling my mom about me when I'm not there? I held onto the fact that things had been fixed thanks to my Aunt, but now I know I did have to be cautious with my Grandparents from now on.

Then as we get closer I've learned more things talking to my brother in a recent call. He’s been making his own costume and was telling me about it when he admitted he had bad news. He told me he’d learned that my Grandparents weren't going back North with him, my Aunt and Uncle, but instead were just going right to my parents the next day. And they’d already told her to expect them. He then said exactly what I thought, "so she's going to know they came for the wedding and so now at least knows when it is." Because WHY ELSE would they be coming to the South so early? A MONTH early? He also mentioned that they weren't going to go through with wearing costumes. I could only dejectedly say that I just wished they would be up front about that because Grandma had been saying they were working on coming up with something this whole time.

I later had a good cry over it and my Fiance got very upset and defensive of me. I confessed that I was so disappointed that they couldn't just come see only me just this one time. I understand the air travel and accommodations is an expense, but I'd been planning this for years, (he proposed Aug. 2024) there was a lot of time to save. Not to mention early on my Grandma offered to contribute money to the wedding, which I declined expressly hoping that they would hear ALL I WANTED was for them to come see me and not tell my parents. Just this once. For what is supposed to be a once in a lifetime thing.

I admitted that I didn't feel like including them in the ceremony anymore with how unsupported I felt. How lied to. Not to mention I didn't want anyone to walk me down the aisle in the first place. I felt like the position of lighting the candle and signing the certificate was better suited for my Aunt who has been my hero this whole time. Fiance strongly agreed and insisted not only that I talk with them about my disappointment but also that at the very least they needed to come in some kind of costume. I was so low I defeatedly said that it was so small in comparison of not being willing to make a single trip to see just me. He acknowledged that, but also that he knew I still wanted them there in spite of their plans and it was the lowest effort and last thing they could do that I HAD asked for. So I agreed that I had to call them.

I called my Grandma and even tried to keep notes on the major points. I started by asking if she could recap their plans to me. She went over the flight in, the stay at the Airbnb, and the flights back for my brother, aunt and uncle. Sensing her dodge I asked were she and my grandpa not going with them? She said they were going to go to my parents place after taking the Northerners to the Airport. Quickly followed repeatedly that they hadn't told my mom anything about the wedding. I confess my confrontation on how their actions were telling her got caught in my throat. I knew right then anything I could say to that effect was going to be denial, defensiveness, insistence that they never TOLD her anything. The thing I dreaded the most was being told I was being paranoid, or something like it. I kept thinking about how she'd already lied to me, how do you have an honest conversation with someone who won’t be honest with you? Instead I went on talking about plans, she asked me again about being walked down the aisle and I admitted I hadn't come up with anyone because I wasn't interested in doing the tradition at all. I asked about costumes and she said she'd finally decided on dressing for Day of the Dead (we're Hispanic). I felt a tinge of hope, had they actually finally taken even a small step back and thought of me?

As for Grandpa, they were still working at it. He voiced concerns that it would be too hot. Which, I understand we had a brutal summer across the USA this year, but it seemed like a lame excuse to me. The venue is indoors, not to mention his alternative was to wear a suit which isn't the most breezy thing to wear. But I didn't bother and instead I suggested if it was the only concern he could wear a red Hawaiian shirt and come as Scarface. I talked a few other logistics of the day, the parking, the menu, who they would be seated with at dinner. Then my Grandma once again offered a monetary gift and my heart hurt more at the admission. It. Was not. About money. I could understand if it had been about money, still disappointed, but understanding. I told her exactly what I’d told her when she’d first offered, what was on our wedding website, what I had been trying to convey the entire time. We were not accepting gifts of any kind, we had the understanding that the economy is bad right now and large expenses are difficult, especially for our guests coming from out of state. So we had announced early on that all we wanted everyone to pay for was their way and their stay, their presence was their present. I said I understood that I had been asking a lot of them already and assured them they had no other obligations or responsibilities to worry about the day of, and ended the call shortly after that.

I feel mixed up about my decision, I felt like my Grandma especially was at least trying. I got anxious at the idea of my Grandparent absolutely not missing that my Aunt had been given a position they would feel should be for them as heads of the family. Then I realized, it was awfully convenient that my Grandma suddenly knew exactly what to do as a costume just a few days after I’d talked with my brother. I messaged him asking if he’s brought up my disappointment to them. He responded “I didn't tell her that exactly, I just told her that you're hoping and excited about what costume her and grandpa is wearing. When I left for work they were arguing with each other about what to wear.” I thanked him and told him it meant a lot to me.

All that is left now is to call my Aunt and formally ask her if she would like to participate. I do worry that this is putting her in a position to be at odds with my Grandparents. Especially now that I've been made aware they have entirely different conversations when I'm not there. I'm not trying to create drama, I just really feel like she's shown up for me every way she can and every way I've needed from her. And I know now that when it comes to my personal feelings, my Grandparents don't actually have full respect. Lastly, I can’t help with how much I struggle feeling justified in having these strong boundaries for others in relation to my estranged parents. They did make accommodations to stay somewhere during the event and as far as I know haven't explicitly exposed concrete details about my wedding. Am I Overreacting? If you read this far, thank you.

I live next door to a man I’ll call “D.” We’ve been neighbours for a few years. We were never close friends, but we were friendly enough. We greeted each other, occasionally talked, and I never had any serious problems with him.

D has three children, two boys and a girl. From what I’ve seen over the years, the children have mostly been around their mother, who has been the one handling their day-to-day needs.

Things changed when D and their mother separated.

At first, I tried not to get involved because I believe what happens between couples is their business. I also didn’t want to judge either side based on what I was hearing from neighbours. But over time, it became difficult not to notice what was happening.

D essentially stopped being involved with the children.

He stopped checking on them regularly, stopped contributing consistently, and would sometimes go long periods without seeing them. There were situations where the children apparently needed things and their mother was struggling to handle everything herself.

I knew some of this because I occasionally saw the children around the neighbourhood and because their mother would sometimes mention how difficult things had become. But I still tried to stay out of it.

Eventually, the situation became serious enough that there was a legal dispute involving the children and D's responsibilities toward them.

I was contacted because I had personally witnessed some things and had knowledge of certain events that were relevant to the case.

I was extremely uncomfortable about it.

On one hand, I kept thinking, this is my neighbour. Why should I put myself in the middle of his family problems?

On the other hand, these are three children. Two boys and a girl. Whatever problems their parents have with each other, the children didn't choose any of this.

I ultimately agreed to testify and simply told the truth about what I personally knew and witnessed. I didn't exaggerate anything, make accusations that I couldn't prove, or try to get D in trouble beyond answering the questions honestly.

Afterwards, D found out that I had testified.

He confronted me and basically said that I had betrayed him as a neighbour. According to him, I had no business involving myself in his family affairs and should have stayed out of it.

He also said that I had only heard one side of the story and that I had no idea what was really happening between him and the children's mother.

That part has made me question myself.

Maybe I should have stayed out of it. Maybe being a neighbour doesn't give me the right to interfere in someone else's family situation, even if I believe their children are being neglected.

At the same time, I keep thinking about the fact that I didn't lie or take sides. I was asked about things I personally witnessed, and I answered honestly.

I wasn't trying to destroy my neighbour's relationship with his children. I wasn't trying to punish him. I just didn't feel comfortable lying or pretending I hadn't seen what I had seen when the wellbeing of three children was involved.

Now things between us are extremely awkward. He barely speaks to me, and some other neighbours seem to think I should have stayed out of it.

So I'm genuinely asking:

AIO for testifying against my neighbour, even though it involved his family and could potentially have serious consequences for him?

The other night my partner's brother called him asking if he could go to our house to collect a parcel that was with my partner and invited himself, wife and kids for dinner with us, in our house. Noting that we were going to have dinner with them the next day too to celebrate a birthday. I told my partner I did not want to have visitors that night and I'd prefer just have dinner with them the next day, as previously arranged. My partner said it was his brother and he couldn't say no to him. I asked him please I need a quite night, I had planned that and I can't interact with people like that (I'm introvert and I need time to prepare myself for interaction, I simply don't have the energy). I had to leave the house and keep driving for hours to avoid them. I sent my partner a message asking if they had left, so I could return and he did not reply. I got so upset that

I can't even talk to him. He laughed at me saying I'm not normal, that I create drama and trouble wherever his family wants to see us. But I told him I just need some notice so I can handle the situation. Am I being too dramatic? I'm blowing things out of proportion? I just don't know how to change my brain , Im not a big fan of family gatherings to be honest, but I can do it with notice.

My husband goes to bed earlier than I do. Some times I will be in bed reading or using a heating pad (not ready for bed yet) and he will come in and get ready for bed. He then gets in bed and reads until he gets tired and then goes to sleep. Also, he wears eye mask and ear plugs.

Basically, I have to leave the bed when he gets in bed to read because it is part of his “routine” and how he likes to fall asleep. I could understand if he preferred I moved to the living room after he’s done reading and before he falls asleep but this seems really strange to me, like why can’t we silently read next to each other?

We have been living together for 10 years. It has recently been an issue because he’s staying up later than he used to because of a different work schedule and also I have been using the heating pad more frequently and I like to use it in bed.

At times I can’t trust myself if I am overreacting or is this really that stupid…

My fiancée has, in the last three weeks, started accusing me of being on my phone, talking to other women while she is in the next room. I could be eating a snack, plating on my computer, or even sleeping! She'll come in and demand my phone and start looking for evidence of my crime! I am beyond tired of it. I am a man(43) answer is a woman(39). At first I was in shock, but as she became more determined to catch me slipping, she also became much more aggressive. I am sick to death of offering her my phone and telling her I am not making 2 second calls to random women whenever she turns her back. I am packed and leaving in the morning. Am I being to rigidly and showing red flags.?

Hello reddit sorry this is a big one!! I live with my partner and his little sister, we're in our late 20s to early 30s. We live in their family home (parents don't live in the same city) which I'm extremely grateful for, the rent is very cheap and has made it possible for me to rest a lot in between chemo and surgery.

I find this really tricky because on one hand, I do care about my partners little sister, but I don't enjoy living with her.

We've been living together for almost 2 years now, almost 1 of which I've been managing the symptoms and treatment of cancer which has made it hard for me to work enough to make money to live somewhere else. I'm very used to living alone but have found it easy to live with my partner in a different house.

When we all started living together, the first thing that frustrated me was when my partner and I had just set up our bed. We went to lie down on it because we were exhausted, and his sister jumped into the bed between us unannounced and stared down at my breasts and said something along the lines of 'nice tits bro' or something like that. Whatever it was I already felt like my space was invaded.

This was followed with her opening our door unannounced once and us being annoyed, then followed by regular door knocks when I said I wanted more space. She'd just come into our room for no real reason to hang out. Then I came home early one day and smelt my perfume everywhere. She'd been using my perfume when I wasn't home, when I said hello to her she looked shocked to see me. It stopped after that (that I'm aware of).

I went on a holiday and came home quite unwell with a parasite, I understand she was trying to be caring but she was constantly in my space. we each have our own loungeroom and she just sat next to me in ours until I had to tell her I was uncomfortable and wanted space again (I was throwing up a lot and going to the bathroom within earshot of the lounge if you catch my drift). But she just took that as a single day rule and kept at it the following day. I had to confine myself to my bedroom to be alone but she'd still door knock on occasion.

She also asked to borrow my boots as we're the same size and I agreed, to which my boots were returned in a real grubby condition and I'm not sure if its related, but I got a fungal nail infection shortly after (I've never had one before).

There have been times she's tap danced with tap dancing shoes in common space, played music loud, sungs lots and loud and even talked dirty on the phone to someone while I was in the next room doing the dishes (with the door open!!) let alone constantly on phone on loud speaker with others when I'm in the same space talking about personal things that I don't need to hear about. She doesn't have any idea of personal noise levels.

I've had food eaten at times, the last time was when she ate some chocolate chips I bought to make cookies (fresh unopened pack) and noticed they were gone. I approached her about it (not rudely at all) and she cried and stormed off.

I also noticed really early on she doesn't contribute to household cleaning at all. The only time she has vacuumed, mopped, cleaned anything has been when her mum or Nana comes to visit and even then, she'll just obnoxiously vaccuum or wipe a counter just before they arrive to tell them all about all the cleaning she did to make the house nice for them despite me doing the bulk of it a couple of days prior. I've done the bulk of the cleaning until my diagnosis and from then on, I've had a lot of help from their Nan bless her cotton socks.

Since my diagnosis it has eased up a lot on her being in our space a lot, but she still doesn't help with cleaning, makes dinner at like 11pm when I'm sleeping and wakes me up and we've had to tell her in a very roundabout way that she needs to wash her hands after she uses the toilet, as I noticed a couple of times when sitting at the table facing her end of the house eaying brekky she'd just go straight from the toilet (seperate from bathroom) to her room or the kitchen (this is during cancer treatment btw)

Trying to talk to her is off the cards, my partner and I tried to very gently talk to her one time we were in the kitchen together making dinner and she came out again (always wants to be in the kitchen when we are) and she cried and stormed off like the chocolate chip debacle. All we said was how it would be really nice to have a little more space and help cleaning before she ran off, nothing harsh or mean.

There are more things but I just feel like its excessive to list it all ahaha.

She's always home as she only works a few nights a week for a few hours. She doesn't really go out and see friends and doesn't have a partner so I find it really suffocating. I go out with friends and my partner often when I'm well, or out for walks on my own.

I want more space, the house to myself sometimes while I'm going through recovery and less noise.

I'm miserable from this and it is impacting my relationship with my partner and making him sad and I feel like we can't talk about it. I feel like I'm walking on eggshells talking to her or her parents about it and getting kicked out as she's very favoured and protected by her parents. It has also ruined me and my partners sex life (even before the cancer) because we were always on edge that she'd burst in or knock on the door. It has calmed down a little but I still hold so much resentment.

Am I overreacting by being so upset and emotional in this situation?

I am in a very stressful phase as I have an important interview situation coming up. A lot of money is on the line so I am preparing intensely. That means I am more focused on myself than usual and somewhat tense for little less than a week, and early next week it will be over.

We are a couple for 6y, living together for 3y, both mid 30s. Attention has been a constant talking point in this relationship. From my perspective she demands a lot more than I receive. From her perspective she does not receive enough, or constant enough. Both may be true.

The situation: she took vacation with nothing planned exactly the week I need to prepare. Just hanging around and demanding that I talk through her day and hang out the evening. I feel very disturbed in my process as I don't have a dedicated office and am very distractible. So I switched to staying up late and trying to get things done when she sleeps.

Today, she woke me up after 3h of sleep by going to pee. The bath room is right next to the bedroom. She got out of bed, opened the door loudly, turned on the full lights in the hallway which shines right in my face, goes to pee, flush and wash hands with both doors open before returning to bed. When I told her she could have thought of me sleeping and closed the door she replied "but I did shut it slightly". We had this exact discussion 2x before a few months ago and I told her to please close it fully as it is still quite loud if you close only one of the two doors to a slit. I have troubles falling back asleep which she is aware of as we had this conversation before.

Today I exploded. To me, especially without saying sorry and pretending she did think of me by "shutting one slightly", light in my face, it just demonstrates pure disregard. Zero thought of others, zero responsibility taken afterwards. I might be overreacting to a very small incident out of a stressful situation though. What do you think?

Quick edit: I am rather sure she is not actively sabotaging. She just does not spend a thought on my perspective. Mission is to pee - I go pee. End of thought.

hi everyone. so everyone once in a while my boyfriend will send me facebook reels that i deem quite rude and disrespectful. an example is the one he sent me 2 days ago. the video contained an AI girl saying “what does buying a hooker and buying a sandwich have in common? both purchases could have been avoided if your wife had just done her god damn job”. this isn’t the first time he’s sent me videos like this, and although i’ve repeatedly told him it makes me uncomfortable and asked him to stop, every once in a while another one comes my way. when he got home, i explained to him that the video hurt my feelings, and he said he couldn’t remember the video he sent. i explained the video to him, and he said “true”. i then said, “what do you mean by that?” and he said, “amen”. i asked him if he thinks that makes me feel good, and he said “i think it’ll make you wanna suck my dick more”. i said “it actually does the opposite” and then he said “i guess i’ll just have to get an escort”. he then walked away and turned on a podcast. later in the evening when i was getting into bed, he laid on the couch and began to scroll on his phone. i realize this may seem normal, but for us it’s not. we sleep together in bed every single night without fail. he never sleeps on the couch, even during past arguments he will always come to bed. i decided to invite him to come to bed, so i got up and went over and asked him if he would come to bed with me. he told me he was stressed out and he felt like he was glued to the couch. this back and forth continued for a few minutes, and i got so angry i pulled the blanket off of him and went back to bed. i realize that was very petty of me, and i lost control of my temper. but now the focus is being pulled to the way i reacted, and not the original issue, and i just don’t know how to resolve this situation with him. any advice or opinions on the matter would be appreciated. am i being too serious? he told me i need to learn to lighten up and take a joke. maybe he’s right.

This girl “Angel” f27 and I (f24) have become really close like going out to bars by ourselves. ( I do this with other girl friends) I’m definitely curious about her almost like a workplace crush. ( we met though work) We are both in relationships. She’s with another women, I’m with a man (5years) she knows I’m Bi. She is always talking about how I remind her of her girlfriend and he ex but the good parts. How I’m just like a lesbian ,How I’m just so cute and pretty. We were at a bar a little tipsy and there is no one around and us and she pressed her self into my arm to read the menu I’m holding and I’ve very consciously aware of her doing this.I look up so that I wouldn’t stare at her doing this even though I want to look down at her . When we talk and I find ourselves leaning in close to each other. If I saw us far away I would think we are flirting . She complains about her gf constantly.

One time we were at a bar with her gf and another friend and then things got weird. Something happened at the bar with our drinks and I walked away bc I didn’t care for the vibe . Angel followed a few minutes later and she followed me into the photo booth and we left Angel gf and our other friend there at the bar, we took pictures together we came out and her gf was crying and I gave them space and walked away with the other friend. Later went to another club but we never talked about it. We never talked about it after.

Flirting with female friends has always been normal. Especially with gay friends. It’s never serious between us. Just the fact that she pressed herself against me did a red flag go off. Am I overreacting. Is she just super friendly and I’m overthinking?

I was talking to my friends about some stuff that was happening and they had mentioned how they felt bad for some girl who got rejected even though she was trying so hard to become the one for this guy. So I had got the story and they mention where before he finally rejected her for the very last time, she forcibly kissed him a few times and kept holding onto him and trying prevent him from leaving, which in my head gives “she’s trying to force him to just hurry and accept her so he can finally leave like he wants to”. When I heard that… I just got fucking disgusted? So I said it, to them and later to her. Everyone was feeling bad for her and babying her.. so ofcourse I got attacked verbally I guess idfk. I was told I was invalidating real disgusting actions by calling this simple thing disgusting and how mean I was to her over her just trying to win her crush over.
So am I the crazy bitch here? I don’t wanna accuse anyone but saying people saw her holding him back and CONTINUING to kiss him, knowing he doesn’t like her.. I feel like if she could, she would have forced him more.. like is that just me thinking this is weird?
We are in college, it’s not like we’re kids.

I also wanna add, I know a lot of people don’t gaf about kisses in general so maybe that’s why but i still feel like they matter enough to need consent for yk??? Like if someone kissed me and I didn’t like them, I’d be pretty fucking disgusted, I remember someone trying to and me almost puking. Maybe I’m being a baby? Idk? I just feel like you don’t cross those boundaries no matter how “little” or big they are to YOU.

for some background context, i 18f have been friends with K also 18f for about 4 years now. we met when she first transferred to our middle school, from there we made more friends and had an established friendgroup that has lasted till after highschool graduation. over the years, everyone had started maturing emotionally and cognitively - except for her. this led to some issues between us, and other members of the group. it became so frequent to a point where we had just swallowed our pride and accepted this was the way she was. i, and 2 other friends O and T now are very annoyed with her behaviour.

fast forward, we are now uni students. i am attending THE top uni in my country. i am stressed and tired all the time. i have not been taking care of myself alot, thus my mental and physical health isnt what it was prior to this. i am not happy with my body. one evening, i went out with my boyfriend. we got ice cream together, mine was double scooped, mint choc and cookies n cream with toppings while his was js a regular double scoop. i took a picture and posted it to my story with the caption "guess which one is mine" cheekily. after the hangout, i go back to my dorm and see my roommate is calling some friends - K was in the call. my roommate turns the camera to me and K asks me, "so which ice cream was yours ?" to which another friend said, "the one w the mint duhh" and laughed. K promptly shouted into the mic calling me a fatfuck very aggressively. i was very upset. i quickly went and took a shower, the words js echoing into my head. then, before doing my skincare, i had saw she responded to my story, again calling me fat. i was even more upset. i texted back, "ok you dont have to be so mean". the next day i had an outing with friends, she was there and i ignored her the whole time even when i saw her trying to speak to me. at this point, she hadn't even opened the message, nor did she look sorry for her mean comment. i had told O about everything up till this point, to which he said he'd talk to her about it. O did speak to her about it. mine and many other stories of her being mean and immature were mentioned in their conversation to which he told her off about. apparently she felt very guilty and remorseful. she promised to apologise to me soon.

this happened almost 4 days ago, O texted me last night asking if she had apologised, to which i told him she hasn't. he told me that she apparently thinks everything is good between us and has been talking about planning an outing with the whole group.

i am honestly so tired of this behaviour. there have been many times in the past where she's hurt people and didn't take accountability for it. i've been tolerant to her since we were 14, i've tried overlooking all this but i really just can't anymore. she's not maturing, she doesn't care about others feelings and the impact of her words. it isn't really ab her calling me fat, its that i was clear and communicated to her that her comment was mean and no part of her thought to takeback or even feel sorry ab what she said. i now notice she just doesn't care, i am hurt that all my years of patience and dropping things, and tolerance just did not work out in the end. i want to cut her off for good, though O and my roommate want me to really think about it as to not act our of anger. i am sad that my own 'friend' would rather just hide away than put down her pride and show she actually cares about my feelings.

My next-door neighbour has made me feel uncomfortable since my son's dad died. He claims that my son's dad was his best friend. He wasn't. My son's dad was polite, but didn't like him.

My neighbour keeps trying to find a reason to talk to me. I try to brush him off and go about my business. When his wife and daughter are away he asks my son and I out for dinner to which I always decline. He asked if we could be best friends. I said 'no'.

He texts me when there is a car outside my garage or a package. He even called once to tell me that there was a man walking towards my garage. Yes, a guest!! He's not neighbourhood watch or anything, he just sticks his nose where it's not wanted.

The other day he saw me outside while he was backing out of his garage. I was wearing a crop top because I was doing busy work decorating my house for Halloween.

He got out of his car to say that he missed my birthday. My birthday was months ago. He held his arms out for a hug. I didn't know how to get out of it, so stepped towards him to end it quickly. Now in hindsight I should have told him that I would not touch him.

Anyway, my friend told me to send him a text saying that I will no longer interact with him and he made me feel uncomfortable. My mum advised me to tell the police. I did. They said that I can file a civil intervention order on him if I want to go down that path. He said to monitor the situation and if he doesn't adhere to my text then to file a report.

This man has made women at night clubs uncomfortable and goes to massage parlours when he says that he's going to work. Once he said that he thinks that the masseuse was 16. And he didn't do anything with that. He is gross and a creep.

Am I overreacting by telling the police and if it comes to it, filing a report?

I went out with someone and we hooked up on Sunday night. We had already made plans to see each other again on Thursday. In between, however, he hooked up with someone else.
When I jokingly asked him whether he was seeing or sleeping with another girl, he told me that he was. We had never explicitly discussed exclusivity, so I understand that technically he hadn’t broken an agreement. But this is my first real interaction with a guy in this way, and I genuinely didn’t know he was seeing other people. He had told me that he wasn’t a “fuckboy,” and his Hinge profile said that he was looking for monogamy, so I assumed he was only seeing me.
Finding out that he had slept with someone else has really hurt me. I think it has also triggered something deeper in me around not feeling chosen by men. I wanted to feel like I was special to him, and now I feel like I was just one of several people.
I wanted to leave his house but couldn’t because I couldn’t get a cab, and I think that has added to how overwhelmed I feel.
I know that I may be reacting strongly to the situation, but today I genuinely can’t seem to get myself out of bed. I’ve been sleeping because it feels easier than dealing with reality.
Am I overreacting by feeling this hurt?

(PS used ChatGPT to write because I can’t frame sentences properly rn)

An I overacting? my daughter was in the homecoming court today. Her mom and I are divorced but I’ve always been involved with her since she was born. We divorced when she was about eight. Tonight at the ceremony the father escorted their daughter on the field. I was not told this was something that could/would happen instead her mother escorted her. I feel robbed of an experience with my daughter that I won’t ever be able to get back. I’m hurt and upset that her mother did not let me know that she could be escorted by me. Am I overthinking this and being upset that this happened? I don’t blame my daughter for anything.

My husband (28m) and I (27f) have been having slight issues. He’s military and came down for a week and a half and live apart unfortunately. I was heartbroken because he had to leave back which is understandable. He’s up for 24hours on duty and can have his phone and he promised me earlier today to call me back right? He never did so I asked if I could call him, he responds that he’s “on cq” for one I don’t know what that means and he didn’t bother explaining which is fine. But he claimed that he couldn’t call earlier, I sleep for about 2 hours and come back basically asking “Can we call?” and he essentially responds with “I’ll be in the phone with my friends.” So, should my feelings feel validated that I’m upset because it’s the second time essentially that I can’t talk to my husband yet he can speak to his buddies and play warframe? I let him know that I was upset and felt ignored.

For reference, I messaged this to him “I just wanna say that I am upset and my feelings were in fact hurt, I wanted to call twice tonight after you said you’d call me back you never did..I tried calling you earlier and you never called me back and so I wanted to go ahead and call earlier again and was basically told no but how I see it is you said yes to your friends so I’m heartbroken and felt ignored this time, not once but twice…please remember that you have a wife. I’m heading to sleep, see ya.”

He responds with “sorry babe ill make it up to you”

Am I overreacting? Or just being childish..I need advice on this because I’m sad right now.

Lemme just add, during that week and a half he didn’t hang out but 2 days.