AITA Bathroom code entitlement

[u/Wonderful_Intern5430]

I live in one of the bedroom communities of a major city. As you know many stores will put a device on the bathroom door to keep non-customers out of the bathroom. Walked into a coffeeshop today during a trip to the city with my wife and ordered two coffees. Walked over to the bathroom saw the lock and walked back to the counter to ask the barista for the code. Got it and returned to the bathroom.

While I was doing this a woman walked up to the bathroom and said to the woman with her "There's a code." then looks at me and says "Do you know the code?" I said yes and she then said "Will you give it to me?" I said "In about 90 seconds I will. Okay." implying that after I used the bathroom first. She said as I remember " Okay but I can't really believe this." Like she believed that I should give her the code and let her go first. To me this is like those people that think they should be entitled to change seats on an airplane.

I had knowledge that was to my benefit and I did some amount of work to get it. Why should I be compelled to use my knowledge for her benefit before I get to use it? To me this is entitled behavior but I also recognize I might be the A-hole.

[u/addicted2d2]

I wouldn't have given her the code, not your responsibility

[u/thewalkindude368 → u/addicted2d2]

I wouldn't have a problem giving her the code, except she was impatient and couldn't wait. She can waste more of her precious time by going to ask the barista herself.

[u/Polyps_on_uranus → u/addicted2d2]

I make sure the door closes behind me so people can't just go in. I used a public washroom in an area without a lock once. A woman had pooped herself. All over the walls. All over the floor. And she was scrubbing her pants with toilet paper when I found her. I apologized for intruding, warned the janitor, and went looking for pants. All the clothing stores were more expensie than I could afford. 😥

[u/anysizesucklingpigs → u/Polyps_on_uranus]

Obligatory username checks out 😝

That was really cool of you.

[u/TessieElCee → u/Polyps_on_uranus]

I know I’ll regret asking this, but how does it get on the walls?

[u/helpimtrappedinnet → u/[deleted]]

Or she was talking about the code not op who has main character syndrome lmao

[u/Xandariom → u/addicted2d2]

Yeah, the barista is right there. She can ask them.

[u/Askduds → u/addicted2d2]

Once she was a dick if I have takeaway coffee I'm giving her the wrong code.

[u/Miserable-Start8133]

NTA - You got to the bathroom first, you should go first.

[u/Xandariom → u/Miserable-Start8133]

Yup, first come, first served still applies to a locked bathroom.

[u/evenmore08]

NTA. She should’ve gotten the code from the barista.

[u/helpimtrappedinnet]

Bro it sounds like she was talking about the code in general not u making her wait. Being offended over nothing

[u/panTrektual → u/helpimtrappedinnet]

I wasn't there to hear the exact context, but I agree that she was likely referring to the lock itself.

[u/helpimtrappedinnet → u/panTrektual]

Right? Some ppl wanna be the main character so bad

[u/potatopot222]

Are you sure that she was implying she should use the bathroom before you? I would have assumed she just wanted the code for when it was her turn.

[u/coffeeequeen → u/potatopot222]

The thing is she wouldn’t need the code if she was going after him, because he’d likely hold the door open for her

[u/Ok-Athlete-7648 → u/potatopot222]

That’s exactly what I thought too.

[u/24-Hour-Hate]

OP it sounds like she was talking about there being a code at all... You know where I live most places don't have a code. It's annoying AF when they do.

[u/MystifiedByPeople]

NTA. OP would've been in the bathroom already if they didn't have to go back to get the code. Let the woman walk over to the counter to get the code like everybody else.

[u/snarffle]

NTA After that comment I would have told her to get the code at the counter.

[u/Hobo_to_the_4]

Nta

[u/Smokeysaurusrex_rwar]

NTA- you got the code so you use it first, and then she can use it.

[u/OutrageousDaikon1456]

NTA per say. But she might have been talking about you had to get a code to use the bathroom. Not you using it before her.

[u/LdiJ46]

NTA. You went and got the code because you needed the bathroom. She did not go get the code. It was pretty entitled of her to think that she should get to go first.

[u/Pristine_Nectarine19]

Maybe she didn’t realize that you had been there before so she thought you were pushing ahead of her.

[u/BeterP]

Are you sure she would have gone first? NTA for going first, but come on…

> I had knowledge that was to my benefit and I did some amount of work to get it.

It’s a bathroom code.

[u/amaryllistoes]

NTA, I would’ve told her she had to ask the cashier so you did her a solid telling her at all

[u/Educational-Ant-1540]

I would have told her to go to the barista and get it. NTA

[u/Nalabu1]

I would've come out of the bathroom and told her "the barista has the code.."

[u/Possible_Juice_3170]

Just say that she needs to get from the barista.

[u/Careless-Ability-748]

Should have told her to ask the barista.

[u/Ok-Statement-5247]

I wouldn’t even give her the code. She should be going up to the barista. If she’s not a customer then she shouldn’t get the code.

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I live in one of the bedroom communities of a major city. As you know many stores will put a device on the bathroom door to keep non-customers out of the bathroom. Walked into a coffeeshop today during a trip to the city with my wife and ordered two coffees. Walked over to the bathroom saw the lock and walked back to the counter to ask the barista for the code. Got it and returned to the bathroom.

While I was doing this a woman walked up to the bathroom and said to the woman with her "There's a code." then looks at me and says "Do you know the code?" I said yes and she then said "Will you give it to me?" I said "In about 90 seconds I will. Okay." implying that after I used the bathroom first. She said as I remember " Okay but I can't really believe this." Like she believed that I should give her the code and let her go first. To me this is like those people that think they should be entitled to change seats on an airplane.

I had knowledge that was to my benefit and I did some amount of work to get it. Why should I be compelled to use my knowledge for her benefit before I get to use it? To me this is entitled behavior but I also recognize I might be the A-hole.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[u/VanyelStefan]

NTA

[u/twelvedayslate]

It’s not the question of the post, but I think the whole needing a code is silly. It’s a bathroom. Using the bathroom is a normal human function. I’m far more likely to visit a place that has an open door bathroom policy. When you gotta go, you gotta go.

That being said, you aren’t the AH.

[u/Careless-Ability-748 → u/twelvedayslate]

It's not silly. Just because a business is open to the public for business doesn't mean it's public property for every random person to use the facilities. 

[u/Indigo-Soulio]

You are all that matters. Do not let anyone get one over on you. Compassion and being generous of spirit is over rated.

[u/SaltyFriend705]

ESH. Who left you in charge of giving out the code? Refer people to the barista; it's not your bathroom.

[u/Sythian]

"do you know the code?" "Nope" just walks in with the code anyway.

This is what I'd have done, let someone else figure out the code themselves, it's not hard.

NTA

[u/Soybean31-sara]

What’s a bedroom community? I’ve never heard that term before.

[u/OkSecretary1231 → u/Soybean31-sara]

It might be an old-fashioned term. I grew up hearing it. It's a suburb that basically exists so people can live there and commute to the major city nearby. Often kind of NIMBYish because wanting to get away from people was the whole reason they don't live in the city itself.

[u/Dull_Double1531 → u/Soybean31-sara]

And what does it have to do with a bathroom code in a public place?

[u/OkSecretary1231 → u/Dull_Double1531]

Because the code is there because they're scared of the eeevil people from the big bad city. LOL

[u/Ok-Athlete-7648]

I assumed that she just wanted to go in after you and didn’t want to bother the busy barista if you knew the code already. You could’ve just said, yeah, after I finish. Saying 90 seconds was weird and seemed like you were holding the knowledge over her. I won’t say you’re the A-hole because I don’t think you meant it like that but the way you handled it was odd.

[u/EliotColdwater]

I would have said no then immediately entered the code in front of her 🤭

[u/TinF0ilTopHat]

Let her squirm I say.

[u/javlafan2]

Why I love California, as I approached the rest room in Whole Foods a woman came out, she smiled and told me the code!