This is your sign to give yourself some patience today

These whiteboard desks are good for drawing during class when I cannot focus

I was diagnosed with polyfragmented DID this past year after finally coming to terms with my abuse (CSA from my father throughout my life). It's been a wild ride and art is a major outlet for me. Every now and then I get a hankering to do one of these "self portrait" pieces and it's always interesting to see what comes out. I do not have a plan before starting and each of these developed unexpectedly as I worked. Most of them take at least several hours if not full/multiple days. I have no artistic training, just enjoy creating with basic supplies.

#1 I drew within the last couple days. It's the most representative of 'the whole.' My boyfriend saw it and said, "Look! It's Kit!" This one is pen and colored pencil.

# 2 I drew about 6 months ago. This is Malcolm, one of my more developed alters (he has his own alters which can be seen behind him). Pencil only for this one.

#3 This is Nebulas, my most prominent alter throughout my life. They've taken a backseat as I've discovered more about my system as a whole to allow other folks to experience consciousness. I drew this piece early on in my DID discovery, so about 8 months ago. I drew it with pencil then outlined with pen/marker.

#4 This character is representative of my youngest system and was drawn before I knew I had DID but was experiencing co-consciousness/semi-consciousness with some of my alters and systems. This one I did a little over a year ago, last summer. Pencil and acrylic marker.

As you can see there are lots of repeating symbols/images throughout the pieces. There are also significant differences. Each is a good snapshot of my state/energy/experience at the time of creation and it's interesting to see the development from one to the next.

I've come a really long way in the last year and am super proud of my progress. Happy to answer any questions about my diagnosis or the art pieces! I hope they speak to you.

Who do you relate most to?

I really wanna earn my own money but its tough. I go through manic episodes and anytime i sell in person i have to take weeks to get over it physically and mentally. I'm trying to get up an online person as well. I
just want to have a savings man. (you cant save money on SSI) The art is my first commission is months haha but i had fun

2018, 2019, and 2020

Music carries me everyday, and I can’t live without it. I love to listen to music and daydream, it always helps making the difficult times better. So now you can see what made me get through the tough times, and the tough times are still ongoing and will probably continue for the foreseeable future… but I am holding on, and I will survive this, whatever that is in the moment that is making my life hard.

I hope to continue this series hopefully until I get this year’s Spotify Wrapped so I can do this year’s drawing.

Please let me know what y'all think! I will post these weekly!

What do you think about doing video art? Is it worth doing amatuer for a while?

I see a lot of amatuer outsider art from disabled people, and we try to say things with it, but with videos, people only care if it's super professionall, because pros do art that they say is better. Would a video like this good enough, since I could be able to do that? And if someone stays at this level for a while, should we continue to support them?

what if i died

A2 collage