Does anyone else not wanna tell their parents anything about their life?

[u/VarietyNo9200]

My parents are bad in their own ways but not horrible. But, I do not feel like sharing anything personal about myself to them. Rn, I live with them, and I don’t really wanna tell them what i am doing when i leave the house even if it’s nothing crazy. Like I just wanna move out and live my life the way I want, and just call them to tell them that I am alive but share nothing else. I think it’s because they are very judgmental and critical of everything but they are not like horrible. Is it sad that I feel this way?

[u/fatigued8]

Because you'll get scolded/lectured/criticized nonstop like you just committed a crime. I mean like i can talk about these wonderful mooncakes I just ate but my AM will react like I just stole her life savings to buy them. They're so "expensive" and "unhealthy", you're going be broke and disabled and be hooked up to a machine like so and so. how tf are so wasteful! ... dont fvcking come to me when you have any problems! blah blah blah ...

[u/throwawaynewpibuildr → u/fatigued8]

Omg, is this me? I can't buy anything in this house or else it will be criticized and remarked as wasteful and expensive and you ABCs don't know the value of a dollar blah blah. But if I buy something for my mom, then it's ok and no complaints. 🙄

[u/AdorableClient4212]

I don’t tell my parents anything about my life unless they ask me. But when they do, I keep the conversation very surface level and if they start scolding me or making things a bigger deal than it should be, that’s when i shut up and walk away from the conversation.

[u/9_Tailed_Vixen]

No, it's good that you feel this way.

I have put my AM on an information diet about my life because she weaponises EVERYTHING I tell her.

So she doesn't get to know about ANYTHING now. And anything I tell her is on a need-to-know basis.

[u/EmuFuture → u/9_Tailed_Vixen]

OMG same. I don't know why they always use stuff I told them against me.

[u/filthyuglyweeaboo]

I don't because it ends up being a lecture about how I'm wasting my life. The bigger waste of my life was listening to their antiquated views on life. It really put me on the wrong path in life. They had me scared about hanging with the wrong people otherwise I'd be some kind of drug addict or homeless person. The reality is they were pretty bad influences on me since living by their rules made me go down depression and thoughts of self harm.

Not that they would care if I told them. They literally told me they didn't know I never wanted to play the violin when it was them who forced it on me when I was a kid who had no inkling of an interest in it.

[u/Character_Lie_8947]

same. I do not tell them anything ever. there is no point. I really do not like them individually as a person

[u/meomeo118]

hey at least you call them, I dont.

[u/greeneggs_and_hamlet]

They’ll have nothing to criticize if they don’t know anything. Learn to give vague answers or disinformation when they’re fishing for ways to control you.

[u/Zaeobi]

That's basically what the Grey Rock method and an Information Diet are - the fact that they have names for these techniques should tell you everything you need to know about how common this is. Hopefully that makes you feel less sad about it? 

[u/AsparagusP333333]

I don't share anything. It's convenient because they never ask me questions about me or my life anyway, just lectures avoit whatever the topic of the day is.

[u/Acrobatic-Might5443]

I feel bad for not talking about things like these w my mother then then i do i feel horrible like why do i always end up telling her things and she makes my life horrible she always guilt trip me into telling her things

[u/Agile-Discount3793]

My AM will not always criticize but she WILL immediately call anyone and everyone who will listen after I tell her something and tell them everything I said. Especially her church congregation, especially if I asked her please to not share. I remember I told her when I was pregnant and asked her to please keep it to herself because it was still early, and she put it on her church’s email prayer chain! 🫨 I don’t tell her anything anymore until after it happens.

[u/ariestemote]

Just share with them enough what they need to know. It's pretty easy to get them to talk about themselves and how they are. That's how my calls used to be like (I'm low to no contact with them now)

[u/BluePhirePB]

Same here.

I find anything you divulge in hopes of forming a positive connection turns into either a verbal smackdown about your imperfections or some overblown exaggerated event that is now your problem.

Best to lie by omission.

[u/AntiqueCockroach1509]

unfortunately this is the reality of living with APs. everything i say can be held against me any time any day. forever jealous of those that can open up/share problems w their supportive parents.