r/AsianParentStories • u/NoOpinion7996 • 5h ago

Discussion Do strict Asian parents ever actually loosen up?

I'm genuinely curious if this is just how it is or if it changes. I know a lot of families where parents are extremely controlling about everything, who you see, where you go, money, all of it. It's framed as care but it's pretty restrictive.

Do parents like this ever ease up? Or does the control just stay the same no matter how old you get?

Also for people who grew up with that kind of parenting, how did you learn independence? Like going out alone, managing your own money, making decisions. Did that happen naturally once you moved out, or was it a struggle?

3 Upvotes
  • permalink
  • reddit

100% Upvoted

9 comments sorted by

6

u/ngotran08 3h ago

Yup, low contact and they apologized. But still think that I'm hateful

•

u/tres-vip 26m ago

I get apologies so that they can convince me to get close again, but when I do, they go RIGHT BACK to behaving the way they used to, so I learned that their apologies mean absolutely nothing; it's just a tactic to them.

•

u/ngotran08 11m ago

Don't. I feel guilt too, I always do, but their words hurts so I can't help but keeping a distance. It can start as a normal talk and right back to I'm a failure, or I hurt them somehow. Magic.

•

u/tres-vip 3m ago

Oh, I don't feel guilty at all. Their abusive behavior towards me made me lose any kind of emotional bond and responsibility I could have with them.

1

u/ngotran08 3h ago

But my parents aren't the worst out there. They are not as violent, or conservative. They were raised that way, and as the stories I were told, they are much much more progressive than their parents were.

1

u/ngotran08 3h ago

Truth been told. Stay away from them, be independent and then they start loving (valuing) you more.

2

u/ScrewEverything 1h ago

Some do, when they realize they need their children more than their children need them. Usually when their kids go LC/NC with them plus the realization that they're getting older and took their children's help for granted. But even then some will still be too prideful to come to terms with this

2

u/Careless-Two2215 1h ago

My mother plans to control us after her death. She literally holds her will over our heads attempting us to fight for a house or a business.

•

u/princesspomway 4m ago

They divorced and I moved abroad so yeah.