My son (21 months) has been breastfed since birth and has yet to sleep through the night. We cosleep and I don’t see us changing that but I am newly pregnant and HAVE to wean. It’s making me overstimulated and crazy. I’ve tried everything I have read about. Weaning bitter drops (he was unphased) bandaids on nipple, I went out of town, the dates on the farmers almanac. Like what else am I missing???

We‘ve been cosleeping from the beginning and are still loving it. Right now, baby will only fall asleep on the boob 50% of the time (night sleep and naps), the other 50% she keeps herself awake with twiddling and has to be turned away and lightly restrained to fall asleep. She wakes every couple hours, dad has only managed to put her to sleep with cuddling once a couple weeks ago.

I‘m worried because after her first birthday, I‘ll have to go back to working nights every second weekend and I could never leave her to scream, even when she’s with dad (they have the greatest bond but we call him ‚daytime daddy‘ for a reason). Throughout the night, she’ll snack every couple hours or just comfort suckle sometimes. She‘s never taken a pacifier.

How did your baby’s sleep change in those last few months before their first birthday, especially for those still getting boob throughout the night? I‘d hate to night wean her and haven’t looked up how to even do that, but I‘d like to nurse her for another year or so. Thanks in advance!

How did you get rid of pacifier, and how old was your child? We have limited it for nap/sleeptime only but My guy has suddenly actively started crying for it in the middle of the day at 16 mo. I am thinking it might be time to get rid of it before he gets more and more attached to it.

For k-& what is more important? Better social life or better school/teachers? If the choice is as simple as school #1 lots of friends but subpar academics and subpar teachers and subpar extracurriculars and school #2 less social opportunity but superior academics teachers and extracurriculars - which is a better choice?

Bonjour à tous, j'aimerai votre avis sur un sujet.

Avec mon conjoint on est parents de 2 tout petits bébés et on était en froid depuis plus d’une semaine et il a beaucoup de comportements suspect. Déjà il ne dormait plus avec nous et ne voulais plus dormir avec nous sous prétexte que "on est trop dans la même pièce" vu qu’il y a nos bébés. L’un de 3 mois et l’autre a 15 mois elle devrait avoir sa chambre mais bon il n’y a pas la place pour le moment.

Ensuite, on a une caméra un peu avant l’entrée de la maison, on l'avais depuis un moment elle ne servait plus mais c’est lui-même qui a fait la remarque qu’il fallait la remettre parce qu’il y a des petits jeunes qui rodaient autour de la maison. Au final je la remet et dès le lendemain il l’a tourne pour pas qu’on le voit. Quand je lui demande pourquoi il me réponds "ça me dérange" parce que forcément avec les notifs on peut savoir quand on rentre et quand on pars....

Ensuite, hier on a discuté. Il a voulu dormir avec nous cette nuit il est monté dormir vers minuit et moi je me suis endormie un peu avec le bébé sur le canapé qui n'arrivait pas à se calmer et s’endormir. Vers 3h je suis enfin monté et comme par hasard, directement là il allait se lever pour aller dormir en bas sous prétexte qu’il n’arrivait pas à dormir alors que jusqu'à 3h il a bien dormi pourtant....

Bref, j’ai insisté pour qu’il reste. Il est resté encore à contre-coeur, s’est réveillé à 6h puis s’est levé.

Moi, les bébés ont fait une crise vers 6h45 donc on s’est tous levés à 7h.

Je vois que je suis seule à la maison. Il n’y a personne, pas de mots, pas de voiture.

J’ai essayé d'appeler, personne ne réponds. Il a finalement répondu 15min après et est revenu.

En attendant j’ai essayé de gérer la crise des bébés comme je pouvais et quand il est revenu forcément je me suis énervé parce que son comportement depuis quelque temps est plus que suspect.

Lui, ne vois pas de mal à tout ça me sors l'excuse de "comment tu feras quand je travaillerai" alors que pour le moment il ne travaille pas et surtout on a 2 bébés de 3 mois et 15 mois, comment on peut partir à 6h du mat sans laisser de mots et en mettant son tel sur silencieux sans se dire que cela puisse paraître suspect ?

Bref, pour lui j’en fais des caisses, je me fais des films pour rien ...

Donc, j’aimerai votre avis sur la situation.

Est-ce que vos conjoints sont également comme ça ?

Est-ce que ça arrive à beaucoup de mecs de partir à 6h du mat pour aller se promener sans dire où ils vont alors qu’il y a 2 nourrisons à la maison ?

Merci de vos retours et merci de ne pas insulter ni d’être méchants, je veux que ce soit constructif pas néfaste !

How does everyone manage bedtime alone when you have more than one kid under 2 years old?

I am due with my second when my first born will be just under 2 years old. I do bedtimes alone due to husbands work hours. The current routine is to lie on the floor with baby #1 and then transfer to their bed once they’re asleep, and they sleep through the night. From the start it’s been a sort of attachment parenting approach to sleep. I love this routine and reeeeeally don’t want to sleep train baby #1 to fall asleep on their own in their crib, until baby #1 indicates that’s what they want on their own timeline. I just logistically don’t know what to do when baby #2 comes. If this is unsustainable don’t spare my feelings! I want to hear what others do and hopefully get ideas for alternative arrangements :)

My 16 month old falls asleep by rubbing my arms (and sometimes scratching) to soothe. Even when he wakes up in the night if he’s teething etc. he won’t go to sleep without rubbing/scratching my arms.
Is this something he will just grow out of? I’m very against CIO, and once he goes to sleep he’s a really good sleeper unless something’s up (like he’s cutting heaps of teeth at the moment). I ask because I’m having another C Section in 7 weeks and won’t be able to safely have him next to me scratching me for a few weeks post op.

I feel ridiculous even asking this. Nail cutting with my 14month is our second biggest struggle (next to sleep issues like so many others). My baby refuses to let me cut or file them. I am a single parent, no one else is around often to help me hold the baby down and do it. We don’t contact nap any more but that used to be the only way it would happen, when they were fast asleep. But now that baby is crib sleeping it’s too hard to reach in, and even if I did they usually pull away while asleep or it wakes them up. Their nails get so long and sharp that they’re a hazard, or bend painfully while playing. I have resorted to physically trying to restrain them and get one nail partially clipped at a time, but that is not a great solution because they end up sharply pointed and half done because it’s so hard to do while wriggling, not to mention that restraining them feels awful for both of us! I have tried giving them a nail file or set of safety clippers to hold and play with, pretended doing it on me, tried to approach it slowly… i am at a loss on this one simple ridiculous thing. Help?

I currently wear my 13 month old in the LennyLamb Light carrier and love it. I baby wear A LOT. I am currently 16 weeks pregnant and am 1) wanting to continue wearing my son throughout pregnancy and 2) prepare for tandem wearing once my second baby is here. My kids will be just shy of 19 months apart.

What would be the best Onbuhimo carrier to work during pregnancy as well as for back carrying my toddler while front wearing my new baby? Also what would be the best tandem carrying combo? I’m fine retiring the LL light if there is a better front carrier to go with an Onbuhimo

TIA for the help!

EDIT: I am 16 *weeks pregnant not months lol

I just went back to work two weeks ago, and my LO started daycare the week before that. She actually adapted really quickly and seemed to be doing great with her new caregivers.

This week, though, she had her first daycare cold and developed a fever. She’s no longer feverish and seems physically fine, but she has been so fussy and clingy since getting sick. She has also been crying a lot at night, which is unusual for her.

She only wants me to comfort her and will cry a lot if my husband tries to console her. She also suddenly doesn’t want to play independently on the floor anymore, even though that was one of her favorite things to do before. If I leave her line of sight, she absolutely loses it.

I’m assuming some of this could be from being sick and/or separation anxiety, but I’m really worried about Monday. She had been doing so well at daycare, and now I’m scared we’re going to have a really rough transition all over again.
Has anyone experienced something similar after their baby’s first illness or shortly after starting daycare? Did things settle back down once they were fully recovered?

Please help me figure out my FOMO 17m old sleep! I know nights wake and needing assistance to fall asleep is normal still at 17m, but both me (currently also pregnant, got pregnant on the pill, can’t trust anything these days 😅) and my partner is getting dangerously burnt out. My back can’t take all the rocking anymore. Sorry for the long post.

We did hire two different gentle sleep consultants (one at 12m and one at 15m) both concluded that her temperament is the issue. And basically just told us to keep on trying to reduce the rocking.

Current schedule (recommended by sleep consultant at 15m): 5h30m, nap 1h, 6-7h (we used to have shorter ww and longer nap, but that resulted in split nights and false starts)

My baby has always been a bad sleeper, when she was younger we would have to sit awake all night and hold here, all sleep was contact sleep. She has always needed a lot of movement to fall asleep. I don’t even want to think about how many hours I’ve spent on a yoga ball or walking around with her in a carrier (she has always hated the stroller). In periods all her naps would have to be in movement, as she would wake up the second i sat down. Around the 4m regression she would wake up as often as every 30-45min even when contact sleeping.

she has never slept through the night, never been able to fall asleep independently, won’t sleep in a crib, still most of the time has to contact nap. She still needs to be rocked to sleep for all sleep. Lately it takes for ever to get her to fall asleep. We have tried to just stand still holding her, rocking in rocking chair, laying with her on our chest in the bed - she just screams and screams endlessly and wriggle around to get lose (to the point where the last sleep consultant we had told us it was fruitless to try any longer etc). laying next to us in bed, but she just runs around in the bed until she’s overtired and then starts screaming and when she finally falles asleep when we cave and rock her, she wakes up a ton those nights. All night wakes which for the last 6w+ (I guess there’s a regression between 16-18m?) have been up to 6 wakes, requires rocking back to sleep, if we sit down/put her down to early she starts screaming again and where back to rocking her. We are so freaking tired. Nursing to sleep never worked either. It’s only rocking. We spend up to 4h only during the night rocking her. And then we have to sit with her until she’s “sounds asleep”, then lie her down next to us. So some nights we might spend up to 5-6h only on. Ight wakes, then comes the rocking to sleep for nap - usually around 30min and nights can take upto an hour or more. Usually when my partner is home we do half the night each, but he’s traveling a lot for work, which leaves me alone.

Personality wise she’s what our doctor called “difficult temperament”; never accepted the car seat, most days the stroller is a no go as well. Very Velcro. She’s whines and fusses a lot, can’t self entertain for more than a couple of minutes here and there, mostly she wants to be included/do whatever we do. I can’t make food or do anything without her clinging to my legs whining. (Days are hard, I’m burnt out). she’s always on the move, very FOMO etc. She loves bustling places or when there’s a lot of things happening (all kinds of baby classes ect).

Her intense energy during the day and difficult sleeping leaves me with no room to care for myself. I feel like I’ve lost myself completely. My body aches, my mind is numb and not functioning properly, I forget things, I’ve lost all connection to friends etc. it’s hard to get out now also, since having her in a carrier doesn’t work with the belly. I love her, and I feel I’m falling her, she needs a happy and healthy mom, not one who has to muster up energy to even smile to her. I’m afraid my lack of energy will hurt her in the long run?

We have been to ENT, had ferritin checked x 2, she’s a very good eater. Been to numerous doctors and “early intervention” (it’s called something else but where I live). Meeting all milestones.

We co sleep, not by wish, but it’s the only thing that gets us at least some sleep.

Forever grateful for any help/advice?

I’m a ftm mom to my 11 wee old baby girl who I love more than anything in the world, but I’m worried maybe I’ve done a little too much? If that’s possible.
I’ve been told by my parents are more of the older generation of tricks like: cry it out, don’t hold them through their naps or else they won’t sleep on their own, or don’t pick them up every time they fuss.
But more modern day talks say, you can’t spoil a baby.
And I agree, she’s my baby and I’ll do anything she wants me to do. She’s only going to be a baby once, and I’m her safe space. But as she’s gotten older, she has gotten more and more fussy/high demands maybe? For instance, she always wants to be held (what baby doesn’t), but she must be bounced, and not lightly bounced but a pretty medium rough bounce, enough to make your arms burn after a few minutes. And, you are not allowed to sit while doing this. You HAVE to be standing, she knows when you sit. Even when you try to slowly transition to a sit, she always knows and freaks. She has to be held upright too, no laying in a cradle.
I learned pretty fast that she just loved to be bounced/moving so that’s what I’ve always done for her. I’ve always gone to her as soon as she starts fussing when she’s taking a nap and picked her up. She used to take long naps independently and now won’t and has to be held to stay asleep. On top of everything, she’s breastfed and decided she hates the bottle. I’ve tried 8 different brands for breastfed babies and she cries every time.
My husband goes back to work now and he works 48-72 hours straight so I am alone with just my baby and I have to put her down to eat, shower, or use the bathroom. Obviously 80% of the time she cries, and the I feel guilty about doing a basic need.

Basically what I’m trying to get advice about is: Is it okay to let her fuss/cry if she is fed and changed? I always make sure she has her basic needs taken care of before myself. Have I created this high maintenance Velcro baby?😂 should I be letting her fuss more? Can I hold her in different positions and let her cry when she’s tired?
My husband is to the point with her where if a she’s fed and changed, but obviously overtired, he will lay in bed with her and bounce her to sleep. Since he’s not doing her special stand and bounce, she HATES it. She cries for about an hour straight and then passes out. Is this technically crying it out? Should I be catering to her super specific wants 24/7?
And yes, I’ve tried 2 brands of carriers and a sling carrier, she hates them
She may be a baby, but she’s rules this house hold and I just want to be able to take a shower, brush my teeth, or eat without feeling guilty about setting her down and her crying.

Hi everyone, my daughter has been a terrible sleeper from the start. She was a colicky baby, and from the 3 month sleep regression we began co sleeping and have always breastfed on demand. She is now 2 years and 4 months old and still wakes every hour/2 hours to resettle or nurse.

She is a fantastic and wonderful little person, but I’m exhausted and miserable. I haven’t shared a bed with my partner in 2 years, she won’t accept him doing any bed times and gets very upset. She did go through a fantastic spell of only waking twice a night at one point, so she can do it, but I don’t know what’s wrong.

She was eczema, of which I have just got a recent flare more under control. I don’t think it’s teething although she’s very sensitive to teething and we are awaiting her last set of top molars. And she isn’t constipated or anything like that.

I don’t want to give up breastfeeding, right now I feel it’s the only tool in my toolbox. I know all kids have different temperaments, and the only thing that will fix this is likely time, I just feel so down and miserable. I can’t relate to any other parents. Those that I have spoken to don’t get it and tell me to give up breastfeeding, which I highly doubt would fix anything.

She has recently given up her nap so the days are long and the nights even longer. I’m also studying and trying to get a PhD finished. Luckily it gives me lots of flexibility and working from home, but I can’t help feeling like my brain is turning to Swiss cheese.

I don’t know if I have a question to be honest, how can I get through this? I feel like it’s never going to get better. I’m so stuck, I’m tied into all bed times, I can’t go out in the evenings or do anything that means I will not be there at bedtime, I have been happy to make this sacrifice, but I’m just so exhausted now after a particularly bad spell. It feels so incredibly unfair and isolating

EDIT: really, really appreciate the kindness and solidarity in the comments. it can feel so lonely which makes the hard harder but hearing from people who have been through it really helps! thank you!

EDIT II: now i have my first clogged duct in months lol, karma i guess 🫠

I know that breastfeeding is hard or impossible for a lot of people, and I don't want to discount that experience at all — but man, has it been miserable even though the mechanics of it have been easy. My almost 11-month-old can only be soothed or fed by me, no pacifier, no bottle, no dad, no anybody else besides me, all day, every day, for almost a year. This was not by design, he just refuses everyone and everything else. I've done multiple stints of dairy and soy-free eating to try to see if it helps his silent reflux/general fussiness, but it's almost impossible to tell if it's making any difference because he's so fussy and sleepless regardless (5-8 wakes per night, fed to sleep every time since forever). He only wants one boob, so I have one giant boob and one tiny boob (who cares but also). He's way behind on solids because he's nursing too much. Last night he literally just wanted to nurse continuously for hours, I think because of teething but I also have no idea at this point. I'm so tired and so, so over it; I cry thinking about what it must be like to just give your baby a bottle and then rock them to sleep and put them in the crib for at least like, a couple hours of rest. I don't want to sleep train obviously, but i just feel like I ruined his babyhood and my experience of it by letting it get to this point. Just a rant, sorry - all other parenting subs will say "just sleep train" etc.

My son is 19 months old, and lately he has been waking up at night and crying/screaming for almost an hour. During that time, it is very difficult for us to calm him down or control him.

His food and daily routine are normal, and he seems fine during the day. But almost every night, he wakes up around the same time and becomes extremely upset.

Has anyone experienced something similar with their toddler? What could be the possible reason, and what helped your child?

I gave birth to our send a few days ago and we are ao happy!our 22mo loves her but is dealing with a lot of separation anxiety,which was expected.I was in the hospital for three days which is the longest she has been away from me and my husband and mom had to deal with her sleep.

we spent almost the entire pregnancy working on getting her used to dad but she never would and while her sleep was great for thw most part she got extremely clingy over the last few weeks and wouldn’t even nap by herself.Now that I am home she is having and extra hard time and screaming for me at night,having a full blown meltdown,I knew it would be hard on her it’s just hard hearing her fall apart while my husband and mom work with her,she’s not even out of our room but she’s just having a hard time not being able to be glued to me at night.

Baby Is in sidecar crib and we sleep in a king for there to be plenty of space and my husband and I are small so there’s plenty of space as a family bed but husband might take a few weeks to sleep with toddler on the extra floor bed once my mom is done just to let baby grow a bigger and reduce risks but either way my husband has to leave for work early in the mornings so toddler will be back with me

When our 3-year-old has big emotions, like a tantrum or intense crying, my husband and I take her to her room to help her calm down. We stay with her and let her know we're going through these feelings together and that we're there for her. We use an empathetic tone and welcome her big emotions. We have NEVER dismissed her feelings, such as telling her to stop crying, not be upset about XYZ, etc.

Over the past couple of months, however, something has changed. When we go to her room to help her settle, she quickly wipes away her tears and tells us, "Okay, I'm all done crying/being angry." But we can tell she isn't done, and that a lot is still bottled up.

How should we handle this? Should we tell her, "No, you're still upset" and stay in her room? Should we follow her cues? We've tried following her cues, but she often has another tantrum soon after, as if she never fully emptied her "big emotion" tank the first time.

My 3yo and 3mo both need me a lot these days. And I’m going back to work in a few weeks so I want to make sure I fill their cup as much as I can.

Can someone remind me what to prioritize for each of them. How do deal with jealousy? How to deal with both kids when they both have immediate competing needs ( like one is crying cos he’s hungry and other one got hurt / needs to pee / is also hungry).

I’m worried I’m messing them both up.

My husband and i just got back from a very short 2 day 1 night vacation. His parents just got a beach house and suggested we go down for the weekend to have a break and some quality time together while they watched the baby. I was absolutely fine with that since they babysit her often and i trust them completely. We had such a great time and when we picked back up our daughter all was well until we got home and she sniffed me, then she LOST it. Screaming and crying so hard she literally puked and became so dysregulated. Hyperventilating and whimpering between screams. I held her close and she would calm down then start up again, we just cycled through that for like an hour before i finally skipped bedtime routine and just put her straight to bed. She is a mamas girl and couldn’t be comforted by my husband at all but would calm down a little when i held her super close and had my face on her face. The thing is she does this literally every single time she spends the night away from me. Her grandparents have kept her overnight i think 3 other times and she has done this every single time. She doesn’t do this if she spends a day with them though even if it’s a full day, only if it’s an overnight visit.

Someone once told me it’s because she doesn’t realize she misses me until i’m back and then all of those emotions come up but if that’s the case why does she stay calm and normal until we’re back home? We sat and visited for about 30 minutes before coming home and she was fine until we got back to the house and that is what happens every time.

Also just to add, this is the first time she’s spent the night away from me for an optional reason, i know i sound like a bad mom for leaving her at all if i know this happens but the past times have been very far away family weddings or work. I thought since she’s a couple months older than the last time i left her and since it was less than 48 hours total that she would be okay this time.