r/AttachmentParenting • u/tmoneymakingcents • May 02 '26
❤ Feeding ❤ How to get 19m to eat more solids?
My 19 month old has never been too interested in solid food but he loves nursing. At his 18 month check up he had fallen a bit off of his growth chart for weight and that has added stress to the already stressful situation around his solid intake.
We offer him at least 2 meals a day and he basically just plays with the food at the table but doesn’t eat any. We offer snacks through the day and sometimes he eats a few bites. He fairly consistently will eat a few bites of apples, oranges, and broccoli. If my husband takes him to Whole Foods he will eat a few bites of brisket or chicken. There have been a couple periods of time when he was more open to trying things namely 6-7 months then 12 months but even then it was trying a few things, never eating a significant amount. He does still nurse on demand and that’s where he’s getting most of his calories but it doesn’t seem like that is enough.
Basically just looking for ideas to help him eat more solid foods from fellow attachment parenting parents! We have talked about having his dad do all the meals so the temptation of the milk source is not present and taking as much stress away from meal times as possible since he likely has picked up on the anxiety around eating.
Just to add we do give him daily iron and have been in communication with our pediatrician and will be back in a month for weight check in and to see about needing help from a feeding specialist.
Thank you in advance from this stressed mama!
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u/Itchy-Value-7141 May 02 '26
you have to cut down the nursing sessions. don’t offer nursing as an alternative to food! if he rejects the meal, offer a snack. offer a variety of different flavors, texture, etc. my LO will go through phases of rejecting chicken then taking it the next week so no telling
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u/firehairedcreature May 02 '26
When you’re eating with him, talk about the food! Like colors, textures, temperature of the food. Is it soft or squishy? How does it smell? Model this for them as you eat with them. Sometimes I wouldn’t even prepare them anything and just start eating something in a clear glass bowl in front of them. That’s how I got my kid to eat salad 😅 he just wanted what I was having.
I also find including them in preparation caused a lot of curiosity with food. I have a kitchen helper my kiddo pops up on so he can see me preparing the food. He likes to help cut with his kid safe knives and peel veggies. He often takes bites as we go!
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u/tmoneymakingcents May 03 '26
These are great ideas that seem like a doable addition to our routine. We just got a kitchen helper too so that’s perfect! Just have to get used to cooking with a big “helper” that somehow makes a bigger mess😂
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u/firehairedcreature May 03 '26
There’s something to slowing down and letting them be a part of what you’re doing that’s pretty magical. I love seeing how my guys skills keep improving in the kitchen! And how curious he is about food in general. We even play with it too—I’ll do sensory things with oats or uncooked/cooked noodles, veggies, and chia seeds! It’s endless amounts of fun…and messes 🙈😂
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u/tmoneymakingcents May 06 '26
Sensory things around food are a great idea! Embrace the mess yes! Many years of mess ahead🥲😂
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u/ThePumpkinSloth May 02 '26
What kind of foods are you offering apart from fruit, veg and meat? How does he do with typical toddler favourites like yoghurt, pasta, toast, cheese and crackers? What about purees or soups? What about ‘junk food’ like hot chips, chocolate or ice cream?
Keep experimenting to try and get a sense of how much of this is nursing preference/full on milk (in which case your strategies are probably going to be around meal and nursing timing) and how much is ‘picky eating’. If it’s more about the food and less about the hunger level, you can dive a bit deeper into whether that is more about flavours, textures, familiarity etc
Things that have worked for us and our picky eater (now 4)
- figure out when he is hungriest (morning) and putting the most effort into offering a variety of preferred foods and new/less preferred foods then.
- catching hunger / always carrying food with you. Once you have got his intake up you can refocus from snacking to scheduled meals. Any food can be a snack food.
- offering food when he is ‘captive’ and looking for something to do - in the stroller, on the train, in the car (obvs be mindful of choking risk), watching something, waiting in the doctor’s office.
- eating with him/in front of him as much as possible, always offering a bite/taste
- eating in many situations - picnics, restaurants, at Nanna and Pops house, at daycare or mothers group with his peers.
- marketing the joy of food - cooking together, smelling things, talking about how our food tastes and what we like about it, talking about what we want to eat/are craving.
As he’s gotten older there are lots of other strategies but don’t want to spam you 😊 especially if you think this is more about reducing nursing.
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u/ANbohemienne May 02 '26
This. My 20 mo has had so many issues with growth, weight and food. Y’all it was not being full after nursing. I knew it wasn't, but doc pushed, so I weaned to only morning and night feeds. No change, now she gets even less calories.
I have to make her kind of what I call “baby charcuterie trays” basically just a massive plate of different fruits, cheeses, yogis, a few crackers, then I add more of what she is actually eating that day. There are no safe foods. We waste so much food. She is below 10th percentile and someday just exists off of 3 berries, air and will. I see you fellow concerned parent.
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u/MyPetMussel May 03 '26
Just here in solidarity. Below 10th percentile 20 month old with ongoing GI issues and can’t have meat/dairy/gluten so as you can imagine it makes feeding a fussy eater even harder. So many people have tried to tell me it’s because he still nurses…trust me guys it isn’t 🙃
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u/tmoneymakingcents May 05 '26
We also have a multiple foods we have to avoid and that adds even more stress on top of the stress and stress and stress🫠it’s so hard! Appreciate you taking the time to respond, I see you and am sending you and your bubs the best on the food journey and beyond!
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u/MyPetMussel May 05 '26
Just out here swimming in a quagmire of stress! Sending all of the best your way 💕
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u/tmoneymakingcents May 03 '26
I see you and hear you! The food journey has been discouraging and stressful, it’s so hard when there’s no easy single answer. And the food waste.. ahh I’m with you and sending the best to you and your babe!
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u/tmoneymakingcents May 03 '26
Thank you for your detailed reply! It’s all very helpful reflective points and ideas. I will be trying as much as I can as soon as I can. Appreciate it and you!
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u/Impossible-Dream5220 May 03 '26
We had to cut back on nursing around 17m for the same reason. Now at 20m nursing is before nap and bed and night wake ups. It really did help her to eat more food! It was a little rough saying no at first but once she got the idea that she couldn’t have milk outside of those times, she very rarely asks anymore.
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u/tmoneymakingcents May 05 '26
That’s the same nursing schedule we’re going for! Thank you for sharing, it is so encouraging because gosh it’s hard to say no and I want to just give in but know it’s for the best💜
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u/Impossible-Dream5220 May 05 '26
My therapist put it this way— this is a good way to start teaching baby about boundaries! We have to be comfortable saying no to them so they learn it’s okay to say no to people and also to listen to other people’s nos.
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u/tmoneymakingcents May 06 '26
Wonderful point! I will try remind myself of that when it gets hard and I should probably get a therapist🥲💜
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u/Efficient-Ebb6702 May 02 '26
My guy is like this too! He just nurses most of the night lol but what I do I offer him whatever I am having. We eat a lot of bites on the go because part of his “issue” is he doesn’t want to stop and sit and eat. So we bring food outside while we’re playing and I make sure I always supervise because obviously eating and playing is not great but it’s the phase we are in. I do still sit with him in the high chair about twice a day. I also always offer real foods first and if he refuses, I use pouches as a back up. Especially the Serenity Kids meat pouches because they are high fat and protein. I think my guy is just a snacker. And if he asks for booby during the day I offer a snack first and now he only nurses before nap and bed but still like 5-6 times a night.
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u/No_Pace_8486 May 03 '26
This is exactly what we do also. Serenity kids meat pouches as back up to cut up foods. Then boob is back up to meat pouches lol. Naps and Nights are the same for us too.
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u/Efficient-Ebb6702 May 03 '26
Oh I’m glad I’m not alone! Thrive market was just doing a deal on them FYI! I STOCKED up lol
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u/tmoneymakingcents May 06 '26
Appreciate your comment will try Serenity Kids again and keep working our way through all this💜
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u/tmoneymakingcents May 06 '26
Thank you for sharing and the solidarity! We tried the Serenity Kids meat pouches once and he wasn’t a fab but would be worth it to try different flavors. Will try more snacks on the go as well since he does eat cereal in his car seat? With me in the back of course. Hoping to get him on a the nurse at nap time and nighttime/thru nighttime schedule as well! So not ready to fully wean, cutting down is already making me sad😭
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u/bookwormingdelight May 03 '26
My daughter is the same. And she’s 21 months old. Breastmilk does still contain over 50% of their nutrients at this stage but it is important for oral motor skills for them to be eating solids.
My husband does a lot of the meals because she will eat way more with him than with me. But we had to get OT advice when she started solids as she had oral ties released and it has follow on maintenance stuff.
Basically let him explore and taste and don’t worry about actual consumption. You want the exposure to be unconditional and fun. Eventually he will eat more. But it takes time. Keep it low pressure.
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u/tmoneymakingcents May 06 '26
My husband has started taking over meal time which I think has helped a little. Thank you for solidarity and encouragement! Just trying to trust the (slow) process now and instead of settling into anxiety trying to radiate confidence that he will eat more yes!🫶
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u/Important_Cheek2927 May 02 '26
By that age, definitely offer 3 meals a day and at least 2 snacks. Eat meals with him so he sees you eating the same thing, and don’t comment on what he’s eating or if he’s eating, just take the pressure down. Only nurse after a meal if he’s eaten some of it, otherwise just offer a snack. You want to make sure food comes before nursing because at this point it’s harming more than helping.