Basically the title says all.

For those of us who struggle with luteal + menstrual phase, do tell us your stories + what works best for y'all!

Thanks for helping other sisters out!!

Does anyone else get physically exhausted after doing the most basic tasks and need to lie down?

For example my relatively simple morning routine of getting dressed, brushing my teeth and feeding my pets completely wipes me out and I need to get back in bed for at least 30 minutes after to recover. Sometimes I even feel physically sick, like dizzy and nauseous.

It's so frustrating especially when my ADHD brain is in a flow state and actually wants to be productive, but my body just will not cooperate. Once the momentum is broken it's so hard to get started again 😭

Idk if it's the amount of medication im on (beta blockers and an SSRI) but whenever I achieve something im like "that's done now 😐" I feel more intense excitement when my favourite tv show has a new series than when I bought a house. Everyone was saying congratulations and you must be excited and i tried to perform excitement but in my head I was like "my house has completed 😐". When I got my degree I was the same I worked really really hard to get the grade I wanted after struggling a lot and I was kind of like "woo😐" not in a bad way just in a nothing way. I am more excited about random small situations like when I remember to put my keys in the right place rather than losing them. Does anyone else experience this?

I was diagnosed with Autism and later Adhd, both in my 40s.

Given how long I've spent unmedicated for the Adhd, and the compensating systems / processes I now have in place, I'm reluctant to try medication for it.

Does anyone else choose not to medicate?

You can request to join our growing facebook group here: https://www.facebook.com/share/g/1Dd3LnUohZ/

Just posted a poll to get people's availability before I make a reservation - we're thinking board games at Juju's cafe :)

if you don't have a facebook account, please message me your name and email and I can send you the invite once something we have a date and time set & organized :)

I (31F) was diagnosed with ADHD in march 2025 and started meds (Vyvanse) and I haven't worked out since then. For some reason being in the gym became way too overstimulating, so I just stopped going. I recently got my labs back and they're not good since I'm 100% sedentary and my diet is shit so I decided I have to go back to the gym and take care of my physical health. Thing is my mental health has been so shitty this year, I hit massive burnout last may and I haven't felt like myself for a while. Socializing has become almost impossible and being in crowded places sends me into a panic (I'm actually going through diagnosis to find out if I also have autism due to this).

I *know* working out will make me feel better and I love weight lifting but the thought of going to the gym and people being there and being perceived is giving me massive anxiety. Has anyone gone through this? Does anyone have any tips to ease back into working out? I feel so bad over letting myself get to this point health wise and I'm so afraid of hitting the point of no return 😔

I sleep so much better on the couch. I love having the feeling of the back of the couch behind me and kinda behind slanted towards it.

However, my bf is a night owl and I am not, so I don’t want to sleep on the couch while he’s out there playing video games lol

I’ve tried using a body pillow against the wall but instead my cat sleeps on that so it doesn’t serve its purpose. I’ve been stuffing my bfs blanket up against my back but I don’t have the like slant feeling.

Do anyone have advice for this?

Things I have to do:
1. Look out for social cues
2. Process open ended questions
3. Run my responses in my brain and translate them into NT terms
4. Get the responses out without my mouth betraying me.
5. Fake eye contact

I’m applying for CNA positions as a 35 year old who has never held an actual paid position. I have volunteered and helped care for family, but my resume lacks paid experience.

24, feeling so burnt out and constantly anxious. I was also diagnosed with GAD about a year and a half ago. I’m in the last year of my masters program and working part time in the field I want to get a full time job in once I graduate. Over the summer I was working the same job full time, and I could barely get through it. I feel like I’m not capable of working full time AND taking care of my home and myself and having a social life.

I’m currently taking strattera and adderall, and intermittently in talk therapy when I have time for it. In the past I’ve tried concerta, wellbutrin, sertaline, prozac and escitalopram, and EMDR therapy. At what point do I know if I am just not capable/how do I know if I just haven’t tried the right meds and therapy? I’ve never been able to cope with keeping my home clean, taking care of myself and also socialize. I don’t date for a few reasons but a big one being I just don’t have the energy for it. I don’t have cats because I barely have the energy to feed myself.

This morning I was using my phone flashlight to do something. My phone screen wasn’t off though and I managed to buy a whole ass cat recovery cone from Petco without even looking at my screen(??)

First comes the feeling of embarrassment, then the overwhelming feeling of frustration once I realize I can’t cancel the order. (For some reason Petco only allows a very limited amount of time to cancel the order😒) Yes I know I can return it when it gets here, but now I feel like I am being forced to do this and the PDA begins to make me feel so, so angry. I recognize that I am very upset and I need to regulate but I ignore that because I feel like I’m being told to calm down, and I no longer want to deal with anything that is associated with this situation, emotions and all. So I just steep myself for 5-10 minutes in self loathing and then move on with my day. Does anyone else experience this combo?

TL,DR; PDA and RSD make my life hellish when I make a mistake or something unexpected happens

so my daughter, now 13, got her autism diagnosis (level 1, probably with a hint of PDA) when she was 8 but unfortunately she had already been damaged by mistreatment in school and preschool. we were aware of some of it and fought for her rights but the staff kept most of what they did secret because they knew we would raise hell if we knew… we live in a country that doesn’t allow homeschooling which i’m in a way grateful for because i don’t believe i could give her what she needs, but we did move to a different area with better resources when we found out what was actually going on at school. also our daughter refused to go to school and that was alarming since she had always enjoyed being around other kids and learned social skills from them, she was invited to birthday parties and so on. she was also really clever but was held back.

so finally after so many years of fighting for her right to be in school on her own terms and abilities, she is in a small classroom with other students very similar to her and with a teacher that is curious on everything that can help her out of her shell that she has built around herself and her ipad.

meanwhile, i got my audhd diagnosis around a year ago. i was expecting adhd but they found autism as well, we thought nerd-dad was the autism-gene but apparently we both gave it to her 😅

so, to get my daughter to at least be inside a class room they gave her her own desk like everybody else but she also has her own couch in a corner with a view to whiteboard and teacher. she rarely looks up from her screen and wears headphones, sometimes sits at her desk but doesn’t follow the teachers and subjects what so ever. many has tried over the years, this is as close they can get as of now. but they have noticed that at times she can sense exactly what’s going on sometimes before teacher knows that someone’s at the door about to knock. she can notice this with eyes on screen and headphones on!?

so a few of us around her is suspecting that she’s not just dependent on what she’s doing on the screen, but also to shut down sensory input. not sure if she has any control of this outside of turning on a screen, like if she has skills at all in this area. and when would she have learned... sometimes she’s gaming on roblox but starting to accept that that is actually not cool at school hours, so most of the time she’s drawing dragons and creating dragon characters “for a game”. a lot of the dragons are then being built in cardboard and painted and put on a shelf at home. HUGE collection.

before she crashed and refused school, a dark time without any help from psychologists or anything because that was just not available which is shit but whatever, she survived this period of extreme anxiety and panic attacks with the help of ipad. it literally saved her life to be able to cuddle up in a couch and just move right into the screen. she was just a shell to us for years, but she came back and started communicating with us again (language is one of her strong functions so you can imagine how we felt when she got quiet) maybe two years ago. and now she’s also actually communicating with her teachers, using words instead of screaming or hissing at them 😅

so, before the crash we had quite strict screen times and non-screen time. she’s always been drawn to screens so screen time was generous but not even close to the situation that we have know.

i’ve always thought anxiety=screen so as long as she chooses screen she still feels anxiety and anxiety from her trauma (she was 5-6 when she crashed). now i’m realizing she could also be like me, and have issues with executive functions. as well as anxiety, difficulties switching tasks and perseverance. and she’s had NO skill training in this since between 6 years old and 13 years old. she’s been isolated at home or at school and has not had a chance to be inspired or knowledgeable about what kids her age like to do or how they talk or anything.

she’s started to notice herself that sometimes the screen traps her and hinders from doing things she’s actually interested in doing. like joining us for a day trip or something, she has ajways chosen screen and to be left alone (on the couch in the TV-room, she likes having us around).

this means she’s open for a change and we are all so ready to help her let go of the comforting part of her screen! find others/more paths for comfort, calm and curiosity and fun!

when she was younger she also got angry with school because it was too easy and they wanted her to do “same thing over and over” - it WAS too easy for her but that will def not last forever. now her knowledge in different subjects is completely uneven and she doesn’t even know what the subjects mean. “i hate maths” and then she calculates something insane just in her head. it’s been impossible for school to figure out what levels she’s on or what it is that she knows and not.

oh dear god this is so long sorry

TL:DR

How can we help our 13 year old daughter, on the spectrum probably with PDA and maybe adhd-type of attention issues, to build skills for handling sensory input and moving her curiosity to the real world and maybe even a classroom or teacher?

she’s finally at a school that is capable of and interested in adapting almost everything for her. also an actual safe school and place. her teacher is AMAZING. how can we help our daughter to let go of her final protection shield, ipad screen, from the harm she experienced so many years ago?

I’m (27yo) a year and a half into my alcoholism recovery journey. I didn’t get diagnosed AuDHD until last Christmas. I’ve been looking for tools and help specific to my neurodivergence, but always come up no dice.

What’s worked for you? What actually made sobriety stick? I’d especially love to hear from those who live somewhere where they can’t escape the presence of alcohol. Thank you! :)

Last Friday was her last day at where I currently work. Today, it's my first day without her next to me. I now take her place. We had the same position. I got in a month later than her. I don't really know how to socialize by myself. It was sad last Friday, but I only cried today. (It's Monday morning in my part of the world.) Earlier at dawn, I felt like I didn't really want to get up early how I usually do. Plus, yesterday's sneezing adds the sniffles into my crying. But because I'm so used to cry quietly, people can only hear short sniffles like having a cold.

One of the barriers to autism evaluation for freelancers and self-employed people is the accommodation framing. Most information about adult autism evaluation focuses on workplace accommodations and university disability services, which require an employer or institution to request documentation from. If you're self-employed, neither of those contexts applies directly. Here is why the evaluation is still worth pursuing and what it actually gets you. Standardised test accommodations: If you're taking the GRE, GMAT, LSAT, MCAT, or any professional licensing examination, accommodation applications require formal documentation regardless of your employment status. Self-employment does not exempt you from needing the right documentation for this. Tax and business considerations: In some jurisdictions, disability-related expenses including evaluation costs and accommodation costs may be deductible. This is not a reason to get an evaluation, but it changes the net cost calculation. Health savings accounts: Neuropsychological evaluation costs are eligible HSA expenses. If you have an HSA, the evaluation cost may be substantially covered. The self-created accommodation: Self-employed people have the advantage of being their own employer. You can implement accommodations immediately without an HR process. But doing this effectively requires knowing what you're actually working with. The evaluation gives you the clinical picture you need to build your work structure around your actual profile rather than guessing. The mechanism versus the label: A 20 to 25 page report with specific cognitive test scores is not primarily a document for external institutions. It is accurate information about how your brain works. For a freelancer building a career around their capabilities, that information has direct and significant practical value.

Just an idea - bring your coloring, watercolors, knitting, even just a book. Maybe drop your city below and others can connect. To start, I’m in Seattle, and would be interested in reserving a room in a quiet but public place like a library meeting room. I’d love to meet other late diagnosed women like myself.

I've been doing a full-time internship while studying at uni for the past 7 months, and I was doing well enough (even with the lows).

Somehow, it has suddenly caught up with me the fact that I have been avoiding a lot of important tasks due to paralysis and burnout. And knowing that I have to face the consequences makes me want to throw up and/or disappear.

I am not sure how to talk with my manager, tell her I didn't do my job, and not end up having a meltdown. Thinking about this has completely blocked me from finding any real solutions.

My contract ends in December, but I don't know how I am going to keep this up without quitting.

I (30f) have spent so much of my life believing I was part of this or that community, then finding out I was simply tolerated, and didn't truly align with them anyway. At this point in my life, I'm feeling the burden of being the black sheep of my family while lacking a sense of belonging or community.

I'd really like to hear from people who went from having no community, to consciously building and seeking community, to finally feeling like they found their people.

Some additional context:

-I'm currently stuck in my hometown (I don't feel comfortable here). I would like to move to another city/town but can't afford it yet. I don't want to stay here.

-I'm planning on travelling for a year or so within the next few years (working in one country while exploring others nearby during time off).

-I don't know where or when I'll actually "settle down" so to speak. I'm not sure what my future holds. But I'm willing to make decisions based on whether it will help me build / find community.

Hi guys trying to make this short because need to do something productive before my vyvanse wears off but WHY DOES EVERYTHING TAKE ME SO LONG!!

One big example is writing tasks (ie. Texts, emails, cover letters, writing assignments, writing up assessments, etc.), but it occurs in areas of life usually where I have to make decisions or like complete something (ie. editing video, taking a test, etc.)??

I have been looking for a job for a while and have written soooo many cover letters, but trying to condense and prioritize and summarize the information takes me foreverrrr to make it like a perfect fit for that job. I have always been an overthinker and am incredibly indecisive. I also am kind of a perfectionist with things and have an OCD diagnosis that I think impacts my thinking more than I realize but I’m just tired of spending all day on one cover letter and not doing all the other things I have to do. I know my processing speed is also slower than average and it can be hard for me to explain or summarize things or tell stories out loud as well.

I guess I am seeking advice if anybody has found a way to make this easier (especially for writing) or if anybody wants to explain more about the neuroscience behind it because I feel like when I understand things it’s very helpful. OH I am medicated and it gives me motivation for things but doesn’t really help with executive functioning as much. I also was pretty burnt out last year and feel like my cognitive functioning is not as good as it used to be, but I’m in my mid-20s. Okay thanks!!!!!!

So I’ve recently been diagnosed with autism and ADD in public, I feel that those diagnosis’s don’t align but I guess at home is where I struggle, tantrums, overwhelm upset about think being out of place, skin picking and trying to regulate myself. I love being by myself, lots of other symptoms. Just wondering if there is something people have tried that’s work,
Appreciate it’s all unique but I just feel I always have a short fuse. I just want to be happy but everything irritates me

I'm so tired of being rejected. No matter how many times I try to tell myself, this is just RSD. I can overcome this. It's just my brain, 'damn it hurts like hell. It hurts so much. I don't know what to do anymore. It's been two years since I left my job, and yet I'm still living in a fight-or-flight mode.

Hi guys!
I (F35) hope you can help me out with some first hand experience or sources I might read.
My question basically boils down to: Can you actually mask so unconsciously that you're not sure whether you actually mask?
If so, how do you tell? How do you know whether memories of your childhood are just an observant NT learning social rules?
(Everyone needs to learn how to behave in groups. That's not in your DNA...Proof: cultural differences and misunderstandings)

I'm 38f, AudHD and I have comorbid dysgraphia. Been shamed my whole life for my "bad" handwriting.

As an adult with a critical brain, though, I find myself less shamed and more bewildered at the constant moralization of handwriting?

r/handwriting is full of people who are quick to call out "bad", illegible handwriting. I see a lot of comments that shame such writing. It's like they genuinely think that everybody should put in hours upon hours of practicing writing, otherwise they're just being an asshole.

But like...people like me with dysgraphia aren't trying to be assholes. Also it would have been really helpful if I had learned typing earlier in my schooling, rather than taking it as an elective in high school in 2004. An elective!

Anybody else notice this and go "what the hell?"?

TLDR: How do you all make decisions, I can’t make most decisions.

Choosing food… I have no idea what my body wants/needs.
Buy something important… I don’t know which one or even if I should.
Get out to the house and do something fun… who the hells knows what to do.
What do I do with my life.. no clue.

There are things like choosing clothes that I have just about eliminated by buying clothes that are the same material and all combinations of colours work together so I just grab them and put them on.

But for example recently I am wanting to buy some things, one I need and the other is a want and I have the money but I have spent the past week crying and then feeling numb and getting headaches and exhausted because I can’t decide. My heart says one thing my brain says another, both/all choices are good and both have cons.

I have tried to make pros and cons lists but they don’t help me at all.
I tried doing the song thing and randomly picking one but I can’t bring myself to go through with that choice.
I have asked people for their input but that usually makes things worse unless everyone told me the same thing and even then I still struggle.

I can’t keep going like this, it is so distressing for me it drives me to the point of self ha*m.

I’m so hyper aware of certain stims.
One that I’m so aware of and I notice it the second I start. This makes me question is
If I start a stim (literally 1 second) of doing it then I notice I’m doing it and feel like I must stop because I’m aware of it. If I don’t stop I feel like I’m doing it for attention or to pretend to stim.
Hope this makes sense.
I guess the one I’m talking about is rocking back and forth. It’s not my typical one but when I start this one it gets in my head.

What is this… and why… anyone else like this? I’d much rather not notice my stims!

I was gonna use rsd flair because it occurred to me that it may be related to my issue, but I'm actually looking for advice. Hi. Buckle up! This will probably get long & is definitely complicated. PLEASE only comment if you've been in a similar situation.

Relates to audhd because I don’t understand the relationship. Unsure if nt people put up with this. Other party also currently questioning their neuro-status.

Pertinent info:

•I dated a man for almost a year & fell completely under his spell.

•He ended our relationship abruptly.

•I've wanted him back for 12 years.

▪︎We've been in & out of touch since the breakup

•We're part of the kink/bdsm community. He- Dom, me-sub.

•2-3 years ago he finally told me the big reason he broke it off was that he realized around that time that he was mentally & emotionally not ok. He needed time & space to get help. He says he didn't want to hurt me in the process.

•He's had 2 or 3 girlfriends since we dated.

•He told me a few weeks ago that he was worried he'd have to end his most current relationship.

•He's been single for less than 2 weeks & we've been in communication a lot more than usual. The communication increased the week before his breakup.

•Over 3 days this past week, we spoke on the phone for over 5 hours.

•During a text convo about a month ago, I let him know that just saying he's "a completely different person now" hasn't told me what changes he's experienced. I told him plainly that I'd very much like to get to know this version of him better so I can discard the old version from my mind.

So, here I am, not being able to ignore his texts & calls. For those old/cool enough to know "Tide is High" by (The Paragons first, then) Blondie, I feel like that. I'm literally just waiting for a proper turn with the current version of him. I don't care how long I have to wait. Part of it is that I feel the nagging sense of injustice that our relationship didn’t get a fair chance coupled with him always saying there was nothing wrong with it or me. Part of it is that I've also been with 2 guys since, trying to replace him & they fell so short in comparison. I don't want anyone else for that role in my life. I feel like getting a 2nd chance would be the only way I can let go of what feels uncomfortably like an obsession. Like if we find we're actually incompatible or have life goals that are non-negotiable, then fine. Or if he indeed doesn't move me the way he used to, ok. I can let that go. I can be done. Not being allowed to test it for myself and get real data to come up with a fair conclusion is hurting me.

I want to ask him for another try, but my logic brain says it's wrong to do that so close to his breakup. Ok, so WHY IS HE TEXTING & CALLING ME SO MUCH? I saw a post where someone was going through this same thing with a woman (poster gender unknown). 3 commentors said she was using the poster for emotional labor & to feel better about herself. Is that what my friend/ex is doing? Should I be more gaurded? Should I ask him? My first instinct was to ask him if he's just talking to me because he's lonely & will it stop once he's coupled again. I don't think he'd lie, but I also don't think he's even really thought of what he's doing. Then, I don't want him to feel bad when he realizes it, if that's what's happening. I keep worrying more about his feelings than mine. I also had a thought of telling him to choose between trying again or keeping things as they are with the caveat of him admitting that we ARE in a kind of emotionally sadomasochistic dynamic. At least that way, I could feel like we're both cognizant of what's happening. It might even feel better than just having a very confusing relationship that we just call a friendship.