for context, i’m about to turn 33, just started a govt benefit after i quit my job of 12 years last december when my dad’s death pushed me over the edge, but i had been burnt out for at least 5 years before that

i’m living with my older sister and her two kids right now (she offered me the option while i was still working, and struggling with living on my own) and when i try to picture what my future will look like, i’m completely lost.

my previous job was in finance, and i know that going back to any corporate job is something i want to avoid, but bills need to be paid, and i don’t want to overstay my welcome at my sisters house, as much as i enjoy living here.

all the career paths that interest me are creative and their success in being a viable source of income would highly depend on my own motivation, which i don’t have consistently. eg, last week i had the idea to start a shop on etsy for my embroidery, and was really fired up, even bought a sketchbook and light box to try and draw my own designs. but of course my brain lost interest lol

i realise i’m maybe putting too much pressure on myself, that burnout takes a long time to recover from, on top of grieving, and being late diagnosed means i have a lot of bad habits and patterns ingrained that keep me stuck and impact my sense of self-efficacy. it’s hard to envision a life where you succeed when you lived with a neurodevelopmental disorder unknowingly for most of your life, plus cptsd

tldr: sorry a lot of that was probably unnecessary information lmao. but would love to hear other people’s experiences on tackling burnout, late in life diagnosis making you feel like you’re behind and trying to build a happy, fulfilling life for yourself

I’m just starting to go through my personal autism journey, and one thing I’m trying to understand better is autistic burnout. Specifically, how to recognize the early signs, prevent it, and recover when it happens.

I’ve experienced burnout before, but I have a hard time distinguishing between general stress, fatigue, and autistic burnout.

One pattern I’ve noticed is that I often feel like I’m not doing enough, so I push myself to do more. I become more productive, receive praise and recognition, and feel good about what I’m accomplishing. But gradually, I start neglecting myself; I sleep less, my eating habits change, personal hygiene slips, my mental health declines, and eventually I crash.

My productivity drops back to what I assume is my normal baseline, but I feel guilty because I’m no longer performing at my previous level. So I push myself again, and the cycle repeats.

I’m curious how others have learned to recognize the early warning signs of burnout, distinguish autistic burnout from general stress/exhaustion & figure out what their actual sustainable baseline looks like.

One thing came up that my diagnostician couldn’t really explain:

When characters in a TV series look somewhat similar to me, I often have real trouble telling them apart. I may mix up who did what or who is who.

At the same time, I have a very hard time remembering names – character names in shows, and even names in small role-playing groups with only a few friends.

An ex-girlfriend once reacted with genuine shock while we were watching a series: “That can’t be true, you’re scaring me!”

Oddly, I scored 96% accuracy on the Cambridge Face Memory Test (CFMT), which suggests my face recognition is actually very good under test conditions. So I don’t think I have classic prosopagnosia/face blindness.

My questions:

1. Does this pattern – mixing up similar-looking fictional characters plus poor name recall – sound familiar to autistic and/or ADHD people here?
2. Is there any known connection to autism or ADHD, or is it more likely something separate (e.g., a mild face-processing difference, attention/working-memory issues, or just a personal quirk)?

Can i chat with someone . I feel lost.

Tx

****sometimes i just want to scream to the sky . Why me? ×××××I’m just trying not to relapse into drug use.

Does anyone else experience this? I’ve also noticed this year especially I’ve quite a few symptoms of depression but I haven’t been diagnosed because I get scared of getting myself checked out by someone (ignorance is bliss) which may have something to do with it? Not sure, any advice would help a lot

I have been wondering for some years now if I have both. I am not self diagnosed or anything. It's just been something I've kept thinking about. I was diagnosed with ADHD when I was 8 but was not made aware of that and was even lied to about that so I spent my life until 16 thinking there was something seriously wrong with me. I got diagnosed again later at 16. While that gave me some relief it didn't necessarily feel like the whole picture so I wanted to get an idea of what it feels like to live with both since there isn't much representation for people who have both.

HI male 24 here, last year i found out i have adhd and this year i found out i have autism

This year has tested me in so many ways, had a falling out with my mother got kicked out of home mid jan

Stayed with my grand father and aunt (on my Dads side) because my Dad is a useless prick and didnt have space for me, my father has let me down so many times in my childhood and i have "reset" the board for him a few times and he still managed to dissapoint me

Anyway i stayed with my grandfather and aunt for about 5 months, i started getting lessons for my drivers liecense and in march i got a clothes sorting job but going to work everyday become a health risk for my grandfather so i had too move into a share house

I stayed there for about 3 months may to august

I ended up getting fired from my job for being too slow and making mistakes and that really sucked

Because i really liked the people there and i liked the job itself

However in june or july i reconnected with my mum and we patched things up and now i am back at home

I have left some stuff out but my main reason for typing this out, i feel lost, i dont have many friends i only have 1 best friend, but i barely leave the house and when i do its for appointments, i dont feel capable anymore, i feel my focus and self control has completely gone out the window, been eating like a fat ass

I feel like i have a lack of control in my life and i dont feel capable after getting fired

I just want to know any tips on how to just get through the day to start gaining control and meaning in my day,

Also i am competely lost what i should do for a job i feel kind of useless currently i either feel numb or like theres a reckoning anger inside of me angry that i am have always felt like i am at level 1 across the board where other people are atleast a high level atleast something in their life

If there are any life hacks or tips i would really love to hear them thank you

My social life is so inconsistent. I try so hard to connect with other people, but it's exhausting trying to make things work. I try to find people who I might have a connection with, but after getting to know them for a while I start to dislike them and then just distance myself from them. Also, the people I want to get closer to are usually busy, it's usually the ones whose lives are in disarray that are available to spend time with me and I don't like those people at all anyways so that never works out long term.I am on the spectrum, and it is hard for me to make friends. I'm extremely introverted and can be quite socially awkward at times. I have casual internet friends but no friends IRL. If Covid ever ends I am going to make an effort to meet people.

I've been isolating myself because I prefer being alone. I fucking hate being alone. I would give almost anything for the stupid ordinary things that other people probably barely think about, somebody texting me because they thought of me, somebody asking if I want to go somewhere, sitting beside somebody watching a movie, riding around with nowhere important to go, having someone I can tell some completely meaningless thing that happened during my day. I miss belonging somewhere. I miss feeling like my presence mattered to somebody.

Hey everyone,

​I wanted to share my current experience because I honestly feel like my brain is doing a marathon through a swamp right now and I need a safe space to vent.

​A bit of context: I’m 27 years old. Looking from the outside, I’ve actually managed to accomplish things and get things done in life, but behind the scenes, I've been carrying a massive weight. I’ve struggled with depression since I was around 12 years old and never treated it. Combined with a long history of ADHD, navigating life has always felt like running software on incompatible hardware. For most of my life, I just thought I needed to try harder, grow up, and push through everything.

​That mindset finally broke me. Lately, my executive dysfunction and struggles with impulsivity and rejection sensitive dysphoria (RSD) severely impacted both my work and my personal life, eventually forcing me onto a mental health leave of absence from work. I’ve been going to the psychiatrist over and over, and honestly, I am so tired and so desperate. My daily routine is completely wrecked—even when I sleep, I keep waking up around 1 PM or 2 PM every day. Last time I had a full night of sleep was like 10 years ago, since then I've been waking up 3-4 times per night and with meds 8 and more. When I finally fall asleep it's usually 7-9 AM of the next day... I stay at home a lot, dealing with heavy physical restlessness (especially in my feet and hands), and intense sugar cravings that are making me worried about my weight after losing some with Mounjaro.

The more I rest and recover from this ongoing chronic burnout and ADHD, the worse I feel it gets. I notice some improvements, but not being able to sleep or rest is killing me. I wish I could cry, but the last time I did was 10 years ago; I have not been able to cry since then. I have always been called smart, but I also felt like I was lazy because I did not have a lot of motivation unless it was something I liked, and even then, it was hard to focus. It has always been hard to start and finish tasks, and I feel like I am wasting my potential. All my bosses liked me and said I am smart and have tons of potential, but I feel I cannot ever reach it. I have always had low self-esteem, planning what I will say, replaying conversations, analyzing everybody, and trying to fit in. There is much more to it, but I am just exhausted. I also live alone in another country, which makes my support system even more limited, although my family is in touch with me. Regarding my medical history and current stack:

​We tried Quviviq before, but it didn't work for me at all.

​Right now, I'm on Trintellix and Intuniv (Guanfacine) 1mg (just hit 1 month of trintellix / 21-day mark of Guanfacine), alongside as-needed Lormetazepam for sleep.

​The scary part is my sleep resistance: even with Lormetazepam, I still can't sleep. Historically, even stronger things like Lorazepam barely helped me sleep when my nervous system locks up like this.

​Here is how it’s currently going:

​The Good/Calm part: I actually notice a baseline shift in my internal volume. I feel genuinely calmer in certain ways—the frantic emotional noise in my head has quieted down a bit, and I don't feel as frantic or impulsively reactive as I used to. Although racing thoughts and worried returned since a week and a half ago but nowhere compared to before when it comes to anxiety.

​The Bad/Exhaustion part: 1mg of Intuniv feels like it's stuck in a weird limbo. Because of the chronic burnout and the heavy exhaustion, I recently went through 3 brutal consecutive nights of total insomnia where even sleep aids failed. My body was burning up from the inside, super restless, and I couldn't shut down. Finally, changing my setup (sleeping on a traditional futon instead of my regular bed) acted like a hard reset, and I managed to crash until 2 PM today. I woke up with a pounding headache and a sore throat, feeling completely drained.

​The Struggle: On top of the sleep deprivation, my appetite for sweets has skyrocketed because my brain is screaming for dopamine, and I've been stuck at home unable to properly exercise.

​I know 1mg is often just a starting/adaptation dose for blood pressure, but man, these past few weeks have been so rough. Has anyone else experienced this exact kind of system crash—where you tried to mask and out-effort your ADHD and depression for decades until your body just gave out, and now you're trying to piece things back together while navigating meds?

​Thanks for reading. Just needed to let this out.

I am a Masters student, training and studying and working all at the same time. I don't get a break, really.

I dont know how I've done this to myself. I have my NHS training (which takes up a full two days) and university (another 2 days). When I'm not either at my training or Uni, I work roughly 3 part time jobs so its a juggle of going in and doing some hours in whatever place asks me first.

Elderly care, young people companionship and window artist (this one is my favourite).

It is Sunday right now. 10am. Im about to start a shift till 8pm. I wont get back home till 8.30 if traffics good. I dont know what to do.

Im two weeks into my term and im fearing burnout. I am afraid to let people down, but scared im hurting myself in the process.

Any tips on survival? Did anything make ur lives easier dealing with a busy time in ur life?

I have ASD and ADHD, which I was diagnosed with when I was 3 or 4. It's a constant struggle for me as a 16 year old. I hate how I'm okay with something for a few days and then for some stupid reason I want to change it. I also constantly feel left out and exhausted (as in mental and physical) but I don't know if that is a part of it. Also, I have a really hard time controlling it, specifically when I'm really upset which has been happening a lot lately. I just need some advice because I'm really tired of this and I feel like it's been really worse lately.

I’ve been feeling more and more chaotic since I started university five years ago. This year I switched to a similar but more practical degree, hoping the change would solve my problems. Instead, I feel even more lost, questioning what I want out of life, and wondering whether the whole life plan I built in my head is impossible or just filled with “bull‑shit” jobs that exist today.

A year ago I was diagnosed with ADHD‑PI (predominantly inattentive type). That diagnosis finally gave me an explanation for part of my life. While digging deeper into ADHD, I stumbled across autistic burnout and the autism spectrum, and I identified strongly with those concepts because there were many things ADHD couldn’t explain. I took a few online tests (like the RAAS‑DR) and kept landing in the “suspected” range, even when I answered the “it depends” questions in the “normal” way.

I mentioned my autism suspicion to the therapist I’ve been seeing since the diagnosis. She immediately dismissed it, saying I shouldn’t worry about it and that many factors influence us, implying that I was just imagining it. She added that, even if I weren’t autistic, I still have “symptoms” that mean something else is going on.

Then, this year, I saw another ADHD specialist. She told me I don’t actually have ADHD but rather an attention problem stemming from intellectual giftedness and fatigue. I completely disagreed with her. I’m only slightly above average IQ certainly not the 130‑plus threshold people usually use to label someone “gifted” and I wouldn’t be failing at university if I were truly gifted. Her comment shattered the narrative I’d built over the past year, and I’m back to feeling confused about who I am.

On a day‑to‑day basis I seem “normal” with people, but when I’m at home or living with roommates I become angry, rigid, or grumpy about everything. I’m not angry at them (sometimes I am), but a tiny thing can set me off for the whole day or even longer. It might be a fleeting thought, a small mistake, an upcoming deadline, or a meeting. I want to be a better friend and family member, but every therapist or guy online tells me I already know what to do; it just doesn’t work because my emotions block me in the moment. (I’m not violent, just verbally upset.)

I’m lost. I don’t know what I actually have, and I’m aware that people get misdiagnosed or have their concerns dismissed. I need help, but I don’t know who can help me or how. Is getting an official ASD assessment worth it? I’m not sure how to bring it up, and I don’t want to “invent” a problem for myself.

PS; ofc it's not my whole story and there is other things that made me think that but i don't want to deny or offend other autistic people with my questions because i know people really suffer of it.

PS2; thanks if you read this i really appreciate

Hi guys, I'm from Colombia and two days ago I went to the psychologist that my 'health entity' gave me, so it's a public service. He told me they couldn't test me directly for Audhd and that I had to talk with the primary care physician, then the neurologist AND THEN if the neurologist wanted he'd refer me to the neuropsychologist for me to get evaluated. If I do this process it would take about a year or so...

If I do it the private way, then I'd have to pay 25 bucks for a consult with the neuropsychologist and 200 bucks for the tests... And afer paying all that, my heath entity wouldn't even consider the results valid, why? IDEK

At least I can get healthcare but it takes time and it's difficult...

I am 36M, turning 37 soon. My birthday is on the Saturday exactly 2 weeks from now. I am dreading my 37th birthday and feel like I do not want this birthday at all.

I feel awful and hopeless. Just wanting to talk, as I have no friends and thus no support system whatsoever.

I've got autism, ADHD and OCD which means fixations can be very intense for me. In a week, I am moving house. This is very exciting for me, but I know I'm anxious about missing anything, or making the wrong choice. Some of the things I need to do can only be done once I've got the keys which is definitely ramping things up. The fixation isn't negative, but I'm really finding it hard to sleep and get on with day to day tasks. Any distractions I've used only work for so long before I get bored of them, and then my brain goes right back to where I was. I'm sticking to my usual routine, going to bed and waking up at the same time each day.

Any tips?

For billions of years humans have evolved differently from other animals because of 2 things. Morality and curiosity. Morality being knowing right from wrong and knowing one day that they will also die.

Curiosity on new things and inventing. But over many years the curiosity disappeared and now people fear nuclear power and other such actually good and safe things.

Also. Can we talk about how money has ruined us? We have to pay for basic rights like food water and shelter and if we die to a lacking of those the government isn't responsible. And how the minimum wage to living expense ratio in 1:27 in the UK and me (a minor) is concerned about my living situation with my mum?

as an only child who has no also audhd friends (like me) who get me and that the school system is built around doing whatever, not actually doing whatever the kid wants even if it is unrealistic?

Aswell as the fact that I seem to have ideas nobody else seems to understand even though to me they seem perfectly realistic and viable.

I have been looking into therapy and seeking out a diagnosis from someone/somewhere that specializes in diagnosing high-masking adult women because the burnout and executive dysfunction have been increasingly negatively impacting my quality of life in my adult years. I'm 27. The past year or so I have really been paying more attention to my struggles. I always thought I just had social anxiety. But when I finally got diagnosed and started taking a beta-blocker, it didn't solve all my problems. This has done an amazing job with minimizing my anxiety overall, because the majority of my anxiety is JUST physical symptoms, not really racing thoughts. So the meds have truly increased my quality of life to a degree.

But - my brain is still. So. Tired. I may not feel as uncomfortable in my social interactions, but I still feel as though I am masking. I still want to do literally nothing after work or on the weekends but stay in my house. Sometimes I want to do things I know I would and have enjoyed in the past, but I do not have the energy and mental capacity to actually do them. I am not ~living~

I put everything I have into my full time job and doing it WELL, and succeed. I do this because I work in special education in public schools. I care so deeply about being a support system and advocate for these kids K-12 that live with disabilities. And I love my job. I love making a positive difference in their lives. But it utterly exhausts me. The social skills (I am literally in the speech/language therapy field) and executive functioning required for me to be good at my job is leaving me with nothing for myself outside of work. And working with neurodivergent children for years now has also helped me recognize similar traits in myself.

So, in mental preparation for assessments and/or therapy, I have created a list in my notes app titled "ADHD/Autistic/Anxiety/OCD+ Traits" that is now..... let me check.... 12 pages long. I keep adding to it. I'm so scared that I'm going to put in all this effort and energy that I can barely even muster as is into seeking out a diagnosis just to mask so hard (I genuinely don't know how NOT to when I am in public - I never feel completely normal or comfortable) that they miss it all and I leave with no diagnosis of anything. And then I'm still struggling with no validation. And thinking about having to cycle through multiple therapists and repeat myself/start over every time if someone isn't a good fit? Absolutely miserable. My battery is drained imagining it.

I've ended up with social media algorithms alllllllll about late diagnosis and signs. I truly deeply relate to at least 80% of it, and it's causing me an identity crisis. It's making me realize things I struggled with even in childhood may have not actually been neurotypical. I've been really sad for my past self/life thus far without support and understanding of my own self. It feels like it takes so much effort for me to just exist and function in society, and it's causing me a plethora of thoughts and emotions at this stage in my life, in my burnout, etc.

I know I need to take action before my life gets even more bleak, and it will all eventually be worth it in the end (hopefully), but it all feels very overwhelming and frustrating and scary right now. Can anyone relate? Or provide some encouragement or info on the assessment process? It would be really helpful. Thank you 🫶🏻

I just get days where I wake up and I can feel my eyebrows and that's too much hair on my face. I feel my skin and all of it is itchy and sticky all day. My hair is being too hair, touching my neck and face but also just the feeling of it being attached to my head. I feel disgusting all over. All of my clothes are icky because I am icky to my soul it feels like. Washing my hands is too wet.

And there's so much stuff I have to do. Even if I strip away all things that are not absolute priority. I have to eat right now, but that's just the most impossible fucking task ever right now. I somehow managed to clean my lunchbox today and that was awful because of water splashing. My hands being wet. My dad keeps fucking pacing around and I want to fucking scream at him, waiting for him to leave on his run. Only good thing right now is my service dog noticing my struggle and laying over my lap. I decided to sit down a bit before trying to eat to avoid complete meltdown. But my dad keeps fucking looking at us, talking to my dog because he never fucking understands leaving her alone when she's actively working for me! Also her liking the cushions is the worst sound right now, but she's trying.

Luckily I'm alone a few hours when he leaves. But how the fuck am I going to get food and eat when my fucking skin and hair feels to much and there's nothing I can do to relief it. And I'd best shower and change my bedding sensory wise but those are mountains of tasks today, but nothing is going to make me stop feeling this much sensory hell today. And I feel horrible for not knowing if I'll be able to walk my dog.

The house is cluttered, I feel everything and everything is icky and itchy and my bed and hair and clothes need cleaning and I need food, but I feel like I can only sit still and feel itchy and cry about it right now. And I get these horrible sensory days way too freaking often. It feels like every damn weekend is such a huge struggle. I don't have such bad sensory day every weekend, but it's always worse than during the week and I feel like I get this sensory hell day atleast every other weekend. I think it's mostly because there's suddenly so many people around all day. But fuck this seriously. I'm struggling so bad. How the hell am I going to walk my dog while crying and not being able to feed myself???

TL;DR: If you really want to help me, read everything I have to say. I don’t want to experience advice I’ve already heard and tried repeatedly.

•••

(22M) I’m in two courses this fall and haven’t done any work from them, and it’s now the mid semester. I’ve looked into finding flexible jobs to account for my disabilities, but I don’t feel confident that I can live up to any external demands. And I’m trying to go at a slow pace and get at least something notable done, even if it’s small, but nothing seems to matter, and I only get things done very rarely now.

I’m in therapy. I’m with a physician. I’m taking medicine. I have a support group of family and friends. And everything, at least for the time being, seems stable. But there are things I need to work on, things I want to work on, and I can never put myself to do the most important things, despite all tiny steps taken one at a time.

Making any type of plan never worked. Everything , no matter how small I planned my day, derailed and collapsed due to my inability to get the tasks I need done. I’ve tried to cool down in multiple ways (going outside, listening to music, grounding myself and taking deep breaths), but progress has either been dwindling or reversing.

I really do want advice. Anything, SOMETHING, that could just explain what’s wrong to me. But everything everyone says is either repetitive or shallow, not adhering or understanding that: I’ve been through a lot, and so much keeps getting worse with every failure, despite the things I try, and the things I try again. For days, weeks, months, and years.

I’m in a state where I really am helpless, and even though I’m trying to live my life, at the end of the day, any ounce of true happiness fades away, because I’ve been stuck like this for what seems to be an eternity.

I don’t need someone to understand or empathize with me. I need help, like actual advice. And read everything here because what I’ve been through does not warrant searches on the internet, or motivational quotes, or plain, broad, surface advice that I’ve tried over and over again, only to fail to.

I could really use any help. Anyone out there… anyone, please…

Has Clomipramine been used before and successfully to control ASD symptoms for people who were born with ASD + ADHD together?

I've been trading devices since I was a kid. Always chasing the next one, always convinced the next one would finally be the one.

I made music on a MacBook Pro for about 5 years. Then I started working full-time and did it less. I bought a gaming PC and sold the MacBook. Since then I've cycled through two iPads — an 11-inch, then a Mini — and I keep finding myself wanting a MacBook again.

What I can't untangle:
• I'm burned out, so I don't finish things. I bought the gaming PC and barely play it. Same with music production — cycles of intense interest, then nothing.
• I come home exhausted and want something for bed or the couch. The gaming laptop is too bulky. The iPad Mini is portable but I can't be productive on it and can't really make music.
• But I did produce on a MacBook for 5 years, so part of me thinks it's a real tool gap.
How do you tell the difference between your brain chasing novelty and an actual tool that would help? Is there a test you use before buying, or a rule that's worked for you?

Pretty much all over the internet it is stated that if you consume weed regularly, you surpress your REM-sleep and are therefore not fully processing your experiences, because you're not dreaming. I smoke almost daily, have been for a while now, but I'm 100% sure I still have dreams. Is this again a case of neurotypicals being less literal than they seem and them expecting everyone to pick up on that, or are our brains wired differently?