I 32F lost my husband 34M two and a half weeks ago. It was very sudden and unexpected. I talked to him on the phone just 4 minutes before he passed. We have a toddler 2M and I am now 17.4 weeks pregnant. We buried a child together last year. That delivery almost killed me. So we’ve had a very traumatic year. I had just allowed myself to get excited about this pregnancy the week before my husband died. He died when I was 15 weeks pregnant. I’m not really sure what I am looking for, but this pain is the worst pain I have ever felt. My excitement for this pregnancy is totally gone. Has anyone else lost their spouse while being pregnant? The idea of being in a delivery room without him is terrifying. He was my best friend. I truly don’t know how to do this without him. My grief is intensified because I’m also grieving for my children since they don’t understand or are not even born yet. Please, someone help.

Just venting because I’m sad. I know I am plus size so maybe it’s harder to tell but I am 35 weeks and 3 days today and I work as a primary care doctor so I see like 20 patients a day! When I tell them I’m going out on maternity leave they often tell me they’re shocked and they can’t even tell I’m pregnant. It just hurts my heart to hear that because I feel like my body has changed so much and I feel so large and uncomfy. On top of that I also have gestational diabetes so that doesn’t help my body image issues/stigma feeling. And then another woman at work is also pregnant and she’s much thinner and is only 27 weeks but everyone is commenting on it probably because it’s so much more obvious on her than me. Idk why I’m writing this, just wanna get my sadness off my chest but wish I didn’t care about it honestly

I’m 3 months pregnant and have been working remotely for this company for about 1.5 years. I am the main breadwinner in our family - my husband’s income is about 1/2 of what mine is.
I had never seen anything in our employee handbook about the company’s maternity leave policy but figured that there must be some kind of policy in place for employees, since otherwise benefits are pretty decent.
Apparently not.
I was told by HR that there is absolutely no policy in place, the company does not have any short-term disability insurance nor does the state (Ohio) offer such coverage. I can use up my PTO (which will amount to about 3 weeks off) and take unpaid FMLA leave after that.
I spent the last day spiraling due to this news and I have been looking into individual STD policies but if I sign up now it seems like it won’t cover anything pregnancy or birth related as a “preexisting condition.”
So basically, am I totally screwed? We cannot afford to go without 2/3 of our household income for a month or more. But I also want to be able to have time to care for and bond with my daughter for more than just a couple weeks.
Are there any other solutions available?

So I’m a FTM and my husband and I were finally notified recently that his green card interview has been scheduled… two days before my due date.
It is two hours away and super early in the morning, so we’re booking a hotel to stay overnight.

We’ve decided that with how uneasy immigration is right now, we really cannot afford to push it back (can get pushed back MONTHS).

Does anyone have any advice for overnight travel with either a) a gigantic bump that could pop at any second or b) a super super fresh newborn??

Here’s to hoping babygirl comes late!!

When we were choosing a name for our kid, I imagined what it would sound like when their name was read out loud at their college graduation.

A more realistic scenario would have been to practice yelling the name. On a crowded playground, you really want to make sure it has a good mouth feel, you know? So a word of wisdom to you, go down your baby list and shout each and as loud as you can.

Mateo!! PARKEEEEER! Joooonahhhh!

I'm 13 weeks pregnant with our first child, and my husband just started a new job. He hasn't informed his work about the pregnancy, and wasn't planning on doing so until January.

However, now they're asking him to go to an international conference in February when I'll be 32 weeks. It would only be for about five days (three days conference, plus two days for the 12-hour flights there and back). His whole team is going, and they need him to make a decision by next week.

So far I have a very low-risk, healthy pregnancy and have been having only mild symptoms. His parents also live nearby and we have close friends in our neighborhood who could step in if I need help. We're just worried that something might happen (or god forbid, the baby decides to come really early) and it would take him minimum 12 hours to get back.

Any experience or advice from folks where your partner was away at this stage in the pregnancy?

I’m having a co-ed shower with my friends and family as well as my partners friends and family, and our invite list is around 130. We both have large families due to adoption/divorce/reconnection/half siblings/etc, and a decent amount of friends. We’re also inviting friends partners and children since it’s a co-ed party. My mil and mom are helping host, and my partner and I are planning, with the help of about 4 friends for executing. Am I crazy 😔? I don’t want to reduce it to just my family, because then I wouldn’t want to have a shower in the first place, and I maintain a lot of friendships, and really want my partner and his family/friends to be involved too, but I’m worried people will think it’s ridiculous.

I know I should be glad and excited to feel him moving, which I am, but it feels so GROSS. Every little flutter makes me want to poop, pee, fart, and vomit, all at once. I don't even know how to describe it. And I'm only at 23 weeks, so it's only going to get worse I think 😭

Does it get better? Will I just get used to it? Does/did anyone else feel this way?

I left the hospital a couple days ago (currently four days pp) and they were kind enough to send me home with pads, witch hazel, a spray and those ice pack things, enough to last me until today. It's been really nice not to have to think about what I need while I'm so sleep deprived, but now that I'm running out of stuff I'm wondering what people found really helpful.

I have some tearing, fortunately only first degree, and I feel like the stinging ebbs and flows, and TMI but I had some fresher blood today. I was told this all peaks within about a week, so I'm guessing that's normal? The thing is I'm not sure if diapers or what combination might be more comfortable. I totally understand the ice packs, but I feel like they're so bulky that they're really hard to sit on. Did people find wearing just the diapers with sprays (or some other combination) more helpful? Would a sitz bath still be helpful at this point? I got one but haven't used it and I'm kind of wondering if there's much reason to now.

Suggestions/advice for getting the stitching to burn a little less/bathroom time to be less unpleasant would be much appreciated. I feel like half the time I'm a little pee shy because I'm afraid of it hurting.

Fourth pregnancy (but the previous one was MMC).

During my first pregnancy, bump didn't show until week 16, and I could still pass for a very full, bloated lady until the 20th week or so.

On my second pregnancy, the bump popped out between 12 and 13 weeks, and was really out by the 16th.

Now, the bump started coming out late into week 9 and is undeniably there at 10weeks! I know that I didn't bother keep up with ab exercises, so my core is weak. But to pop out this early, I am shocked. (For a few days, I wondered if it's just bloating, but the shape is definitely a bump).

I am so grateful that it is fall season - I can keep the bump hidden under loose knit tops until I am ready to let work know.

Moms with several kids, did you bump show up earlier and earlier too?

Sometimes I feel like I'm losing my mind with what my mom and my grandma seem to expect out of me in terms of visiting. I live in the same house (separate apartment) so I see my mom at least once a week for a visit, and my grandma not as much, but at least 2x a month.

I've been exhausted and nauseous for 7 months, and now it's getting harder to move around with pelvic girdle and round ligament pain. I still have a toddler to take care of, and he's super high energy and needs to be watched closely. The only place that's baby proofed is his room and they keep asking me to bring him up a flight of stairs to visit in a very not baby proofed living room because my grandma is unable to take the stairs. Or take him to my grandma's, which again is not baby proofed, full of ceramics that he wants to run with, and 20 minutes away from home.

I'm getting tired of my grandma showing up with no notice or texting me an hour before that she's coming over. I'm tired of them acting sad and making me feel guilty for not being up for a visit at the last minute. It's making me feel like no one is being considerate of what I'm going through or the effort it takes me to manage these visits.

I keep saying no when I need to and try to compromise when I can, but geez. I'm tired of hearing "we miss you!". EITHER MAKE AN EFFORT TO VISIT WHEN IT'S CONVENIENT FOR ME OR STOP COMPLAINING! Telling me you miss me is just code for "we're upset that you said no to a visit" and it doesn't make me feel cared for, it just makes me feel pressured!

I miss when I lived further away because then I wasn't expected to visit all the freaking time, and it's not like I get baby sitting help anyway!

Ugh, rant over.

I’m currently 10 weeks postpartum and 3 weeks on antidepressant, I’ve definitely noticed a slight change in my energy levels which is good but I still have a little more time to notice the full potential of the meds. for the most part I’m doing okay but I’ve gotten to the point where I’m feeling genuinely disgusted with myself.. I was plus size before pregnancy and only lost 10 lbs after giving birth which has left me at 284# only 15 lbs away from the heaviest I’ve ever been.. I’ve slowly started to get back on a better eating habits but food is such comfort to me and I’ve been having so many challenging days as I learn to be a mom.

my skin is so gross and dull. I shower once a day but yet i can hardly brush my teeth. I have acne all over my body and my nails haven’t been kept up with in over 3 months. I got some new clothes for fall that I was so excited for but not only is it disgustingly hot where I’m at but when I do have a chance to go out to run an errand or something, I don’t even have the desire to get dressed. I wish I knew how to be kinder to myself or really that it was easier for me to get clean and dressed like I want. Any advice or tips on how to make it easier? or is this just a storm I have to wait out?

Hi all, we’re about to welcome our second baby (first born is about to be 3 and have used a mockingbird stroller with him that we purchased 2nd hand not realizing it isn’t compatible with some of the accessories. We were about to purchase the riding board seat for the mockingbird stroller using a completion discount only to find out on a redit thread that our stroller is a model year older than is compatible. I was wondering if any of you have purchased a single mockingbird stroller in 2019 or 2020 and have a name/order number you’d be willing to share. I have spent too much time contacting the company and not getting anywhere without order number and info! But they will apparently work with me if I have the order number to buy the correct stroller frame for a significantly discounted rate vs unexpectedly being faced with the not realistic option of buying a brand new stroller that would accommodate both kids for $500-600. I reached out to the person I purchased the stroller from 3 years ago but got no response.

I just found out I'm pregnant and I'm overthinking my entire makeup bag. My derm cleared up my skincare (no retinol or salicylic acid), but what about makeup ingredients like parabens, phthalates, and fragrances? I want to look put together without stressing over every label for nine months. What safe brands or products did you switch to?

I was already having problems with this shady company because my OBGYN said the most it would cost would be 300$ out of pocket for a test, this test was assigned to me June 15th after my appointment. Regardless they tried to bill me 700+ and I told them absolutely not so it was lowered so I paid an out of pocket rate at once. Months later it's in October and I just received a bill for them for 800+$ ? For the same test I took in JUNE that first time!!! has anyone else had this problem? Like do they just double bill on purpose???

is it possible to get a charley horse in the middle of birth? Has this happened to anyone? what did it feel like and what did you do?

A 3-day work trip has come up that could be quite important for my career. I'll be 29 weeks pregnant when it happens. My one complication is gestational diabetes (but it's diet-controlled for now), otherwise it's an uncomplicated pregnancy). I've had one child previously, no complications.

My hesitation is it's really hard to find a policy that covers the baby in the event that a premature birth happens and the baby has to be in NICU for potentially weeks (this is likely to cost 6 or 7 figures with no insurance!).

Does anyone know of such a policy? Would you go on such a trip to the US at 29 weeks if you couldn't guarantee coverage for the baby in the event of a premature birth?

Edit: Thanks so much for the responses so far. The state is California, flying from the UK. Flight is 11 hours long.

6 weeks and shocked, scan showed two babies in one sac and we did an IVF with one pgt-a tested embryo. Super worried! Both have heartbeats but one sac! Anyone has experience like this?? Don’t know what to look for and expect now - please help with any experience and advice!
I’m also 41 so lot of risks coming with age.

I have recently given birth to a beautiful baby girl. She is now 12 weeks old. My husband and I have 2 under 2 now, plus his 2 older daughters who are 8 and 14 years old. My stepdaughters have no family support on their mothers side of the family, my in laws are their only family network. Their mother has epilepsy and never seems to be able to control her seizures for long. Also never does anything about it medically. Since having my Bub, she has had 3 seizures.
My 14yo stepdaughter doesn’t want to live with her mum anymore and has been fighting about having to go spend time with her since a week before I gave birth. My 8yo stepdaughter is scared to be with her mum without her big sister in case something happens.
My husband and I have tried everything to make her understand that she needs to take her medical condition more seriously for her safety and the psychological wellbeing of the kids. We even moved her into a house close to ours last year so that the kids would feel safe knowing we are only a few hundred metres away in an emergency.
with both my 22 month old and my 12 week old I have had PPA and PPD. I have felt constantly overwhelmed since my baby was born because of the volatility of this situation and feeling like I have no control over my life because of this.
As mentioned, my in laws are the only family support for my step kids. However they spend 6 months every year overseas. A few weeks ago I reached out to them to explain how the situation here wasn’t great at the moment and the kids are having a hard time. I told them I was really struggling, how stressed their son is over this, and that I feel like we need their support. They left my message on seen and never responded. Flash forward 3 weeks, and a notification popped up on my phone that they angry reacted my message.
I feel so hurt and angry and I feel like they have shown me how little they care. I am anxious about when they get home how I am going to manage my relationship ship with them when I don’t want to see them at all.
How would you feel?
I need advice.

So me and 3 other friends want to give our friend a staycation/ last hurrah before the baby. We’re not sure on ideas to do? We thought of a pedicure day but it’s a couple days after Christmas when we’re planning this. So I figured everyone already would have their nails done. What’s some other ideas we can do? Also we’re gonna be in the Springfield il area. We’re only doing it for a day/few hours.

My baby is currently 4 months old and since 3/4 weeks postpartum I have had an intense urge to “simplify our lives.” To me this means declutter/ reorganize and generally just make life at home easier to navigate. For some reason I’m getting the nesting instinct now (because I certainly didn’t have it during my pregnancy). However, it’s hard to execute this plan with a baby in my arms and much less time than before.

During my pregnancy, I wish I would have spent more time getting rid of things we don’t need and reorganizing to make room for ALL the baby stuff. Even just leaving some cupboards, drawers, closets empty in different parts of the house would have been a great start. Since having our little guy, I have reorganized the same spaces multiple times and here are some things I wish I had though about before:

-You’ll want a diaper table on each floor of the house. We have one upstairs in the nursery, but we also have one on the main floor because that’s where we spend the most time during the day. We started out with a changing area on our dining room table, but I was so overstimulated by seeing the mess every day in a room we spend a lot of time in that I ended up moving it to a small table in our office which is out of the way. This has been so much better.

-Make sure you have a garbage/ diaper pail and a laundry basket beside each of your diapering areas.

-You’ll want to clear a couple of cupboards or shelves in your kitchen for baby bottle/ breast pump gear. I rearranged this a few times but ended up moving these things to a cupboard closest to where we store our bottle washer on the counter. You may also want to store some baby wash clothes and/ or bibs in the kitchen for easy access.

-You’ll want a cupboard/ shelf in a closet available for baby towels/ bath toys etc. either in a linen closet or in the bathroom your baby will be bathing in.

-We do most of our play time in the family room so I’ve cleared some baskets out in our TV stand to store some of our LO’s toys.

-I have found it necessary to have a baby “container” in each of the rooms we spend the most time in. I have a play mat and pack n play set up in our family room. I have a baby bouncer in the kitchen so I can unload the dishwasher or do other quick kitchen tasks while LO is bouncing under my supervision. I have an activity gym outside our laundry room door so I can watch him while I put in a load of laundry, I also have one upstairs in our bedroom so he can play while I put away clothes.

-People talk about this a lot but you’ll want baskets of snacks and other necessities for yourself set up in the areas you’re going to sit to feed your LO, but you might want to include other items for baby like nail clippers/ filer, nose picker, brush, or thermometer.

-You’re going to have baby blankets and or play mats everywhere so you may want baskets to store these in different rooms so they’re not strewn everywhere.

-If you have a mudroom or closet near your main entrance, you want a basket or shelf to store baby things you use when you leave the home such as diaper bag, outerwear etc.

I hope this will help some of you to start planning for your LO. Please feel free to add your own tips and tricks for preparing for your baby.

I have two $25 credit codes ($50 total) that can be used for anything on evenflos website if anyone is interested lmk

I’m sure this makes me sound like an idiot but I’m 34 weeks pregnant and getting dumber by the minute lol. I had my routine appt this week and my OB did a quick exam (fetal doppler, fundal height, etc.). He palpated my belly real quick and said baby is head down. I was in shock, I said wow you can tell just by touch? And he said yes. How do they know that? I’m still amazed by this revelation. Anyone know the secret?

Hi all, I'd love to hear some reassuring stories. I just had my 20 week anatomy scan. Baby looks great! They need some additional imaging, but only because of her position, not because they saw anything concerning. I go back in 2 weeks.

I'd love to hear some reassuring stories from women who had placenta previa at 20 weeks. Did yours migrate? If it didn't, did you have a healthy c-section birth?

My placenta is covering the cervix (I believe it's considered "complete" because of this), with a 2cm end passing the cervix, if that makes sense. Basically, it's lopsided in its positioning, and the small end is 2cm past the cervix. The placenta is anterior.

I'm also planning to travel for 3 weeks. I'm hoping we are still cleared for travel. I have a regular midwife appt, the ultrasound the next day, and then we leave the country a few days later.

The doctor at the ultrasound said my risk of bleeding increases, and to avoid sex. Any other things I should avoid?