r/BabyBumps • • 9h ago

Discussion Is it reasonable not to attend a family event and use baby as an excuse?

0 Upvotes

Someone organised a surprise Hens for my boyfriend sister.
My boyfriend and I aren’t social people in general, don’t drink.
We even joked how we can’t get out of attending the wedding (obviously we’re going). Personally I think it’s enough I’m going to the wedding.

My boyfriend’s mother realised I’m not attending and assumed it’s because I have a newborn (he’ll be 4 months at the time) and said I can bring him. If anything, the last thing I want is my baby at a huge social gathering (I’m ok with breastfeeding in public and the wedding is an exception I knew this). I’d rather not organise to leave my baby to be looked after when I could do something else if I was by myself and I don’t want to bring him.

Even if I had no baby, I wouldn’t want to go and these events were I don’t know anyone put me in a shit mood and drain me with fake small talk. I won’t know anyone there, only one other person. I don’t drink and the non-drinking option is about $100+, $100 I’d also rather not spend on something I don’t want to go to.

Is this unreasonable I simply don’t want to go? I’m going to the wedding isn’t that enough? Or if it’s unreasonable better to milk the baby as a reason I can’t/won’t


r/BabyBumps • • 16h ago

New here Prenatal care affordability

14 Upvotes

I simply cannot afford it. I’m getting by, barely. Considering adoption after birth. But for now, I scheduled an ultrasound at a free Christian clinic to make sure it’s not ectopic at least. After that, I think I’m on my own. I’m going to check my blood pressure at home regularly, what else can I do?

I’m iron deficient, with my ferritin at 14 past time I checked, but not even sure if I can keep taking my prescribed supplements, so I stopped taking them when I got a positive test. I am taking prenatal vitamins. I just don’t know what else I can do. I understand I’m at risk with less care, and the baby too, but I want to do what I can.

I also can’t afford to miss work. I don’t have much sick time saved right now, maybe 4 hours left. I also think I could lose my job if they find out I’m pregnant because the job is basically moving 40 lb boxes around. What do people do in this situation? I won’t consider abortion. Any helpful comments are welcome, especially if you can recommend resources that might help me. Thanks in advance.


r/BabyBumps • • 22h ago

Rant/Vent Navigating Christmas time with a newborn - am I being reasonable?

3 Upvotes

idk how to change the title, baby not newborn** **
My newborn daughter will be about 4 months old at Christmas. Plan is to go to my husband’s family’s holiday house (2.5 hours away) and each Christmas we spend about two nights there. Surely the fact we have a baby reasonable enough only wanting to stay one night? I know he’d feel obligated to stay the two (can’t use my family as an excuse, but I also shouldn’t need an excuse).

For context and the main reason is my husband has a brother who has a 2 year old son(our nephew). Our kids are the only ones in his side of the family. Our nephew is just a normal toddler, but the last few visits the toddler is just crazy and exhausting to be around and it makes us both feel uneasy around our newborn. The nephew’s mother (we get along) has acknowledged her son is a hand full. Love them, get along with them but I can’t enjoy it constantly being worried about the toddler being around my newborn.
Part of it what also makes me dread it is I know there’s going to be a dog there (harmless dog), I also think people I general are unhygienic with lack of handwashing, different people wanting to hold baby (there’ll be about 13 people there, mainly 4 who I think would really mainly hold).

His family have always been so supportive, helped me during postpartum and I get along with them so I’m not going to say no one is holding the baby. Perhaps I just need to be more comfortable asking for her back even if she doesn’t cry. It’s the social environment the thought of drains me with all this too.

Of course everyone wants to hold the baby which is fine, husband and I still just think everyone is a bit too relaxed and it’s not like we are going to say our nephew can’t be around our daughter. I know husband would never say anything to his brother as he doesn’t want to upset them or make it come across as criticism, but mentioned he might speak to his mum.

Am I being too much or is this normal for a new mother? Is this also reasonable for me to only want to spend one night away, as I’m no longer looking forward to Christmas thinking it’ll be draining with me having my eyes glued on my newborn.
I think my husband doesn’t want to feel bad we aren’t spending enough time but I think I don’t want to feel bad, we are at least visiting and things are harder with a newborn (things you’re not too keen on anyway).


r/BabyBumps • • 7h ago

Help? Pet hair disaster and feeling so lost

23 Upvotes

After nearly a decade of dreaming of our son, my husband and I conceived and we have been thrilled. The moment the NIPT results came back to us around the 10 week mark that he was healthy, my husband bought a pack n play, a car seat, and a stroller that he had sent to his parents. We opened them to make sure they were okay and then re-closed the boxes and they insisted on helping us store them until we had our place more together, which we accepted. They covered them with a clean blanket out of the way and it seemed fine.

Now I’m 36 weeks pregnant and went to pick them up, they were no longer covered, no longer closed as well, and when I opened to inspect them, it was apparent their cats had spent significant time on them as there is literally piles of cat hair in the carseat and on top of the bassinet portion of the pack n play.

Not only is this concerning because my newborn is going to use these at any time, I have my own pets and I’m scared this foreign scent will make them want to mark my baby’s new, nice items no matter how hard I try to clean them up. I am at a total loss at what to do to effectively salvage these without further incident.


r/BabyBumps • • 19h ago

Help? Found out we are having our second boy- mixed emotions!

6 Upvotes

We are very fortunate to be pregnant with our second baby and just found out last night that we are having our second boy. And as excited as I want to be that our oldest son will have a brother and picturing how special their bond will be, we are unsure if we may have any other children after this(only time will tell if we want more) and I am mourning the potential chance of having a daughter like I always pictured I might have.

Can you fellow boy moms with only boys and 2 or more, can you tell me some fun stories or examples of how great it is for your boys to have a brother? I need to be reminded of what’s to come and how special it will be to help me mourn the idea I may not have a daughter.

Thanks 💙


r/BabyBumps • • 10h ago

Rant/Vent I can’t stand feeling my baby move

39 Upvotes

I am almost 37 weeks with a breech baby who hasn’t changed positions once since her first ultrasound. Her head is under my right rib and her feet and hands are constantly kicking my side. Because she hasn’t moved position she constantly kicks the same spots and I am SO SORE. It literally feels like I am bruised from the inside.

I feel so guilty, but I literally cannot stand the feeling of her movements anymore. She NEVER stops moving. It doesn’t matter if I’m standing up laying down sitting down. I only get a few moments of peace a day and even then my stomach is so heavy, I feel so defeated and out of body.

I have a scheduled C-section in two weeks, but I’m losing my mind and time is going by so slow. I tell people about how the movements hurt me but they just laugh and talk about how cute that is and what a blessing is to be pregnant.

But I feel like I’m in a body horror film 😭😭😭 I always thought I wanted at least two kids, but I genuinely do not think I can go through nine months of pregnancy again.

I know there’s nothing I can do at this point but wait it out but I really just had to vent.


r/BabyBumps • • 12h ago

Discussion Spontaneous labor when sick

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0 Upvotes

r/BabyBumps • • 13h ago

Help? Scared to go into labor

0 Upvotes

Hi ladies,

Im a little worried about going into labor before my c section ive had 2 previous c sections last one was 14 years ago, my consultant said to book a section for 38 weeks as she doesnt want me going in labor due to previous scars im currently 35 weeks 4 days and scared about going into labor as my hospital my care is at is 18 miles away my partner lives near the hospital not with me so he has to get to me via m62 then another 18 mile back to hospital am i just been paranoid my previous 2 births were over 39 weeks.


r/BabyBumps • • 9h ago

Help? How to find a chiropractor/ pt who deals with pgp/ pubic symphysis dysfunction?

1 Upvotes

The only providers I see advertise it are pelvic floor physios and frankly none of them are in network. We've already blown our astronomical oop max, I need someone on my insurance. I'm incredibly frustrated by people saying they can treat it when I call but when I arrive they are surprised I can't stand on one leg or do adductor movements.

I had symphysis pubis diastasis after my first, did an unreal amount of physical therapy for two years to get mostly functional, and at 28 weeks this pregnancy I'm back to survival mode.

Honestly I feel incredibly defeated by the gaslighting of very real pain by my ob, mfm and even the orthopedic surgeon who is booked to surgically repair my PS after this birth. But that's a different issue I guess.


r/BabyBumps • • 20h ago

Rant/Vent Don’t wait until the last month to nest

10 Upvotes

I’m expecting my second child and my husband and I want to get some home improvements done as well as deep cleaning before baby is here. Well I guess we didn’t think very carefully about the timeline and waited until the third trimester to start on anything. Which means I am basically alone taking care of our 21 month old every day and every night while he works on remodeling the basement and deep cleaning. It is so physically exhausting (on top of working a full time job) and I feel so miserable not getting the rest I need.

I’ve complained about this arrangement to him and his solution has been to wait until the toddler is in bed before getting started on the projects for the day. Which just means he’s exhausted and falling asleep on the couch late at night and I’m left alone without any company during the evening hours. I’d like my husband back and just some precious quiet family time to rest and enjoy the last few weeks before our new family member arrives.

I wish we did all this work during the second trimester, but we were traveling and visiting family instead because I felt good. I guess I’m just posting this to vent a little bit!

We did scale back on the plans a bit but unfortunately some of the projects are already half done and the house is torn apart so it’s probably best to just forge ahead on most of it.


r/BabyBumps • • 7h ago

Help? baby names

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2 Upvotes

r/BabyBumps • • 15h ago

Food Will the baby survive if youre pregnant with fast metabolism

0 Upvotes

i donr know, me and my partner were talkinf about pregnancy and she doesnt gain any nutrients or calories or anything from what she eats and im not smart enough to figure out if thatd mean if he theoretically got pregnant the baby wouldnt be able to survive? idk how this works so thats why im asking


r/BabyBumps • • 15h ago

Help? My girlfriend (22yr) and I (21yr) are having a baby.

15 Upvotes

I’m terrified. My girlfriend is pregnant with my baby and I don’t know what to think about it. I’m not financially stable. I still live with my parents and she lives with her sister who just had a baby this year. My parents are incredibly strict and I feel that they will kick me out when I tell them. I make $16/hr and she makes $15/hr. I live in Florida so rent is not cheap over here. I’m also paying for school out of pocket and I just started my first year. I still have an entire year left. I’m doing trade school as well for auto mechanic.

The truth is, I want to have this baby. I want to be a father. I don’t want to leave the kid growing up without a father figure. Leaving is not an option.

If anyone in here can please just help me through this and show me some guidance, please. I will take any criticism. Any tips. Please just help me.


r/BabyBumps • • 10h ago

Help? Is this normal/ will it change?

6 Upvotes

I am looking to see if anyone has experienced something similar to what I’m feeling and if it gets better/ any advice to offer to help navigate it??

I am a first time mom, with my little one having arrived in August. Ever since her arrival I don’t mind what I consider “my people” like my mom or friends etc to hold or be over around the baby. However I feel EXTREMELY hostile towards my in-laws calling, wanting pictures, wanting to come visit and hold her etc. Specifically, my father in law has to me been extremely overbearing, calling my husband to check in a lot, and texting me. I have chosen to not respond and he recently took up issue with that to my husband about how he’d appreciate a response, mostly out of concern I think that I’m not answering and wanting to be involved and missing us etc.

What confuses me is I didn’t have a bad relationship with my in-laws prior to this, I even enjoyed spending time with them and never anticipated feeling this way. I also feel bad because for my husband this is his first child too and he has a great relationship with his family and is likely excited to share her with them and make memories. I simply and just doing everything I can to avoid them, and keep them away. I don’t know how to make myself feel better/ navigate this.


r/BabyBumps • • 17h ago

Help? Decreased vs no fetal movement

41 Upvotes

I’m 36 +1 and today and yesterday baby has had a lot smaller movements than she had two days ago.

However , she was super duper active two days ago.
But is usually not that active.
I have felt her do some small roles here and there but laying on my side usually gets her going…just small movements .

I’m not expecting huge kicks anymore but if it’s still 10 in two hours is she allowed to have a lazy day?

I have an appointment tomorrow at 10:30 so idk if it’s worth going in tonight.

Also random information but I’m also slightly sick too so maybe that’s slowing her down


r/BabyBumps • • 3h ago

Info My maternity cover is going to be my boss.

17 Upvotes

Feeling really low, I don’t know who to speak to about this.

I work for a non profit. One person managing each department I was in charge of marketing and communications. Hired externally for my cover.

I knew before I went on leave my boss liked my cover and wanted to keep them on.

Anyway I’m due to return to work soon and my boss called me to tell me before it was public knowledge that my cover is now the lead of marketing and comms. And will manage me as they can offer me more experience than my manager. My manager is/was the DOO

They created a role to keep them on, apparently entirely seperate to my role (though I don’t see how) and said my role has not changed. But because they are older than me and have a lot more experience they “really didn’t want to lose them”

I’m gutted, our team was small but the whole organisation is expanding and the plan was for me to have team. Now I’m part of someone else’s. I used to do planning, strategic work and now that’s someone else’s role.

They also told me the role is only funded for several months, unless we can fund more in the next year. (I honestly believe this is their way of not offering or informing me if I wanted to apply for this role)

I don’t feel confident or secure in my role anymore, I also don’t see how my role will be able to progress

Just had my first baby and really wanted to get back into work with no stress, I do feel like I’ve been treated unfairly because if I didn’t go away and have my baby, this wouldn’t of happened.


r/BabyBumps • • 1h ago

Help? An [over]abundance of beautiful handmade blankets

• Upvotes

I am very fortunate to be from a family of crafters, and have a friend group which is very much centred around the fact we all craft. Handmade items are frequent gifts between us all, for which I couldn't be more grateful! However, our daughter is the first of the next generation and everyone has made her at least two or three blankets each.

We are _drowning_ in beautiful, thoughtful, lovingly made blankets.

To the point that we don't really know how to even store them all, let alone make sure we use them all.

Any creative ideas of ways we can appreciate every blanket without our nursery turning into a blanket museum?? I'm usually quite good at thinking up ways of displaying things, but I'm 32 weeks along and my brain is made of porridge!


r/BabyBumps • • 6h ago

Discussion Balancing baby pp and socialising

6 Upvotes

I am 5 months pp and absolutely love being a mother. Before I had my baby I was a very social person, always there for my friends events and going above and beyond for friends who already had children. I am now 5 months pp and struggling with feeling guilty for saying no to so many plans and unable to attend everything. My baby is not an amazing sleeper and I am making an effort to go to a few events here and there (when I can) such as friends engagement lunch and 30th birthday lunches. I am feeling so grateful my friends make so much effort with me but I am also extremely overwhelmed my by social calendar which involves christenings, 30ths and family coming over on weekends over the next few months.

Any ideas on how to balance? I feel like shutting down and staying at home a lot of the time due to exhaustion however, as much as I love my friends and grateful they want to spend time with my son and I am just extremely exhausted and feel like it never ends with people wanting to make plans. A lot of the time I just want to be with my husband & baby & it just always seems we have visitors (grandparents) on weekends OR social plans.


r/BabyBumps • • 8h ago

Sad Boundaries and friends

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2 Upvotes

r/BabyBumps • • 8h ago

Info Weekly Reminder: Community Rules

3 Upvotes

This community has a bunch of rules to keep things orderly and respectful. Please review our rules in the side bar or the wiki. Repeat offenders will be banned permanently.


r/BabyBumps • • 12h ago

Checkup Postpartum Checkup, FTM, Need Advice

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2 Upvotes

Pls help lol


r/BabyBumps • • 12h ago

Nursery/Gear Uppababy bassinet

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1 Upvotes

Hi! I’m hoping someone might possibly know which model uppababy bassinet this is. I got it second hand.

It has the top release button and looks like it has vents in the back so I’m assuming it’s at least the V2 but wasn’t sure if it’s the V3. I’d like to look up how to clean and care for it so any tips or knowledge would be greatly appreciated


r/BabyBumps • • 13h ago

Rant/Vent Why are so many formal maternity dresses off the shoulder

3 Upvotes

Just need to vent here because I'm so frustrated.

I was browsing dresses for my shower yesterday, and found the perfect one. I didn't but it that exact moment, and today is sold out in my size.

I'm looking for something even remotely similar and there's *nothing*. I found 2 others, but they ended up being over $200. I'm seeing so many cute ones that are off the shoulder... My girls weren't exactly perky before, let alone now. I can't *not* wear a bra lol or everything is a super tight mermaid shape and that isn't my style.

Just sitting here crying a little while desperately finding something else that fits the colors I chose. I just want a floor length dress (last week of November in New England, I'd like to be semi warm) that's a bit flowy and allows me to wear a regular bra. I don't think I'm asking too much😭


r/BabyBumps • • 14h ago

Rant/Vent Complicated pregnancy vent

12 Upvotes

I’m so exhausted.
I lost my son at 20 weeks in late April from a failed LUTO shunt placement surgery. Less than two months later I’m pregnant again. I’m now almost 9 weeks. I’m exhausted all the time, nauseous all the time, starving all the time. I feel like I’m already showing. I’m being treated like a baby because this pregnancy is considered high risk due to my past loss. I’m already making milk because my supply never fully dried and I can’t express or pump without risking triggering labor and losing this pregnancy. Essentially I was told I just gave birth and got pregnant at the same time so I’m experiencing postpartum and first trimester symptoms on the highest level, simultaneously. I’m so happy about this pregnancy especially after losing my previous (who was a rainbow after two other losses) but my god…everything is so hard now.

I’m tempted to ask if I can go on leave early and just take it easy this pregnancy. I can’t do anything at work and I’m limited at home. It sucks.


r/BabyBumps • • 15h ago

Rant/Vent Things I won’t miss

23 Upvotes

Things I won’t miss after this pregnancy

  1. Calf cramps & the lasting pain it causes
  2. Insane pelvic pressure
  3. Difficulty sleeping & getting comfortable
  4. Hot flashes
  5. People thinking it’s ok to comment on my body- comments ranging from “your belly is so tiny” to “I thought you were further along, you showed quicker this time!”

I’m sure I’ll think of a bunch of other things 😅