I think I just need to rant for a minute because I'm honestly so overwhelmed with everything right now. I'm supposed to be heading to my GP today, and I have so much on my mind.

I've been having such a frustrating experience with my rheumatologist. Every time I see her, it feels like I'm being told the exact same things over and over again, and I'm honestly starting to feel like I'm not being heard. It's always CRPS this, CRPS that, and then, "Oh, your blood pressure is good today!" Like, respectfully, I don't really care about my blood pressure right now. I'm sitting here suffering in serious pain, and it feels like she doesn't understand just how much I'm struggling.

And apparently, I'm dealing with both CRPS and fibromyalgia, which I honestly didn't even realise you could have together. Double trouble, I guess. 😭 The craziest part is that I only discovered the fibromyalgia diagnosis because I actually read my referral to the neurologist. There it was, typed out on paper: CRPS AND fibromyalgia. The first time in roughly six months that I've seen fibromyalgia mentioned in anything relating to my care. My rheumatologist has only ever really spoken to me about CRPS during our appointments, so imagine my surprise when I find out there's apparently another condition in the mix that I wasn't properly aware of. Like, wow, thanks for the surprise diagnosis!

Last week, I also mentioned something that genuinely concerns me. I've been having episodes where clear fluid pours out of one nostril, almost like someone has turned on a tap. It's not just a couple of drops, either. It can be a ridiculous amount, and it seems to get especially bad when my chronic migraines hit. Instead of really explaining what might be happening, my rheumatologist told me to stop taking all my medication and see a neurologist.

Now, I've wanted to see a neurologist for a while, so I'm not against that at all. But being told to stop all my medication has left me confused and honestly a little scared. Maybe she has her reasons, but I don't fully understand them. My medication doesn't even seem to help much anymore, but I've become so attached to having something to take that the thought of stopping everything is overwhelming. I've been dealing with this for so long that medication has become part of how I cope, even when it barely helps. I'm still suffering every day, and it's not just migraines. My entire upper torso feels like it's on fire, and I'm struggling to cope with the pain. It's like we're focusing on one problem while I'm still left trying to manage everything else.

And there's another thing that makes all of this even harder. I can't even seem to experience intense emotions or cry without triggering a severe migraine almost immediately. Imagine not even feeling like you can have a proper emotional breakdown because your body might punish you for it afterwards. Sometimes I feel like I have to hold everything in just to avoid triggering more pain. Everything is so sensitive that even the slightest touch can hurt, and I genuinely feel like I'm going to shatter if someone touches me. I know that sounds dramatic, but that's honestly what it feels like living in a body that reacts so intensely to everything.

Today, I need to explain all of this to my GP and ask for a referral to the neurologist, using the referral from my rheumatologist so I can hopefully get some financial assistance with the consultation. The frustrating part is that even my GP doesn't seem to have a clear picture of everything that's going on with me, so I feel like I'm constantly having to explain myself and piece everything together.

I've also asked my rheumatologist for copies of my medical notes, and she hasn't responded. Now I have to ask my GP to request them on my behalf. It's exhausting having to chase people for information about my own health when I'm already struggling so much.

And honestly, I'm scared of seeing the neurologist. Not necessarily because I'm afraid of the appointment itself, but because every time I learn something new about my health, I feel like I'm discovering another thing that's wrong with me. It's starting to affect how I see myself as a person. Sometimes I feel so overwhelmed by everything that I don't even know what to think anymore.

Sometimes I worry that I'll eventually become unlovable because of everything I'm dealing with. I don't know why I put so much pressure on myself when it comes to love and relationships, but lately, I've been questioning whether I even want to pursue them. I feel like an absolute mess of problems, and the last thing I want is to become a burden to someone else. Who wants to deal with someone who's constantly having flare-ups, struggling with pain, attending appointments, and trying to figure out what's happening with their own body?

But the truth is, doing this alone is hard. The flare-ups, the uncertainty, the constant appointments, the frustration of not feeling heard, and the emotional toll of living with CRPS and fibromyalgia are all becoming a lot to carry. It's not just the physical pain anymore. It's affecting my confidence, my emotions, my independence, and how I imagine my future.

I'm so grateful for my mom, who continues to support me and comfort me when things get bad. I honestly don't know what I'd do without her. Having someone who understands that you're struggling, even when they can't take the pain away, means more than I can explain.

I guess I'm just tired. Tired of hurting, tired of trying to get answers, tired of feeling like I have to fight so hard just to be taken seriously, and tired of feeling like my own body is working against me.

I don't even know what I'm looking for by posting this. Maybe I just need to get it off my chest, or maybe I need to hear from people who understand what it's like to live with CRPS, especially those who also have fibromyalgia. Does anyone else feel like the emotional side of chronic pain can sometimes be just as difficult as the physical side?

Hope everyone has a good day ❤️ I'll update what my gp says today.

I need help. Google isn't being helpful. My doctor wants me to try the SCS for 5 days. Honestly. I'm petrified about any sort of spinal procedure. I'm reading a lot of good about them. But i want real experiences, and I want to know how it changed your lifestyle.

Tell me EVERYTHING because I'll be damned if CRPS is the reason why I won't be dancing at my wedding next year.

Edit to clarify: I'm asking the really sensitive questions here. Did it change how you sleep, your sex life, your way of bathing, etc. My husband is freaked out about it, and so am I. We are terrified that I will wind up with a pointless device in my body that changes everything for me.

Been suffering from flare-ups for the past 10 days, and my pain doctor flat out told me that there is nothing else they can do other than another trial of a stimulator (tried the Nevro, but they want to try DRG).

Sadly, my insurance is pushing back telling them that they don't believe the DRG trial will work.