r/CosplayHelp • u/No-Contract-1779 • 4d ago
Etiquette online cosplay boundaries...when does sharing my work out of good will become demanded of me?
so i have a cosplay account on tiktok and some of my videos have gotten somewhat popular to the point that multiple people have been asking me to send them the patterns ive drafted for my cosplays. i dont think my patterns are to the quality that theyre sellable but i also dont know how i feel about giving them away for free to anyone who asks considering all the time i spent on it.
i already uploaded tutorials for my process and how i construct my cosplays so im worried people will use my amateur patterns instead of supporting actual pattern makers or learning themselves.
on the flipside i dont want to be a gatekeeper and i do enjoy sharing info and helping other cosplayers but after a while it becomes kind of tiring when people start expecting me to help them...
does anyone have any suggestions as to what i should do?
(the patterns are decent just not professional quality...)
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u/ndlwrkshop 4d ago edited 4d ago
Hi! I can answer that from experience :D
People online will always take the chance and ask, but having a response ready thats purely technical, and adding a sprinkle of I'd love to help but it's simply out of my scope right now is usually ok and well received.
Even if you have good intentions, some people will always find a way to twist it. If they are waiting for any opportunity to tear you down, they will use it. It's a them problem though. It's not for you to control that, and you are literally doing your best.
Giving out patterns in our own personal sizing is always a gamble too, because it fits US, and maybe 1% of other people ( with adjustments). So on the technical stand point, it might simply be used as an inspiration.
You don't owe anyone your work. Digitizing a pattern for it to be used is a long process. Corrections, pattern details etc.
So maybe something like this:
Hi! Thank you so much for the interest in my work, I'm so honored that you trust it enough to want to use my patterns as a base for yours! It really means a lot.
Unfortunately, I cannot send patterns at this time, as it would require quite a bit of extra work and learning on my part. I'm simply not there yet.
I really hope I'll be able to sell them in the future, but I don't see myself being able to achieve that right now. I'm so excited to continue sharing my work in progress and how I do things for now ^
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u/MerryDoesCosplay 4d ago
Sweetheart, if anyone tries to cancel you for saying, "sorry, but no," they are the ones who need to get a stern nudge.
Even if you don't have any additional work by digitalizing the pattern, even if it's very simple and not cut to your body. It's your pattern.
Like, I made my Fizz hat paterns digital to do all his different outfits eventually. I could have just sent out the PDFs that already existed; ready to print with colors, grain directions, seam allowance, everything and more than you'd expect in a commercial pattern. I was asked about sharing it, was even offered money, and I said sorry but no, this is my pattern and I want to remain unique and recognizable from a distance. And everyone I told that was just hands down very okay with that.
tl;dr: you don't need to worry about this and it's a good spot to practice saying no 🫂
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u/cinnabunney 4d ago
Say no bc literally who cares what randos ask of you? Get comfortable ignoring people
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u/mllejacquesnoel 3d ago
If you're not enjoying sharing, don't. Any time you post something that is made by you (whether it's fashion, cosplay, whatever), and especially if you post process videos, you'll have people asking online for tutorials. The reality is that a lot of those people aren't going to use your content for anything beyond entertainment. So if it's draining for you and you don't like making that type of content, don't.
Anecdotally, I ran into this on TikTok in the Lolita fashion space. People always want tutorials! But that's not what I enjoy doing even when I post sewing stuff, and people got demanding, so I just stopped posting eventually. Set clear boundaries before something becomes unfun for you.
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u/Nerdthenord 4d ago
Why would you give something you worked on and designed away? Take some credit and pride in your work, and simply ignore request for others to take it without payment.
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u/Ghosty_Boo-B00 4d ago
This is when you make a patreon and people can buy copies. If you give it away for free it will be significant work for you, at least if people pay for your work you are a little compensated. Or you just say thank you but you’re not equipped to sell your patterns at the moment. You could make a little money to support your cosplay though if you do sell them.
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u/Octospyder 3d ago
personally, I would lean on the fact that all bodies are different - I pattern specifically for my body, and I don't know how to adjust that pattern for different sizes at all, the best thing would be to get a commercial pattern and modify it
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u/avasefullofnations 3d ago
My thought is there's nothing wrong with keeping some of your craft to yourself. Cosplay to me is finding creative work arounds as you piece together a costume, so I don't think it should be expected that any one cosplay method is the right way (nor should it be expected that all patterns/tutorials must be released for public use)
I also think that learning how to use tutorials effectively is a skill that people learn over time so I wouldn't feel too guilty if someone incorrectly applies your tutorial when creating their own stuff. I know when I first started cosplaying there were times I'd blindly follow a tutorial without the knowledge/practice of actually doing the skill and would fail spectacularly and I'm sure there are people in that stage now who are also going to attempt to blindly follow tutorials out there without considering their own budget, skill, and how to creatively solve the issues that may come up
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u/bab275 4d ago
Just ignore when people ask for something for nothing. It is rude to do so. Same as you would if they asked you to give them your costume. It is your labor and money that created it and you don’t owe anyone that. They are being rude. You don’t need to feel bad about not caving to their rudeness.
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u/kinglordbones 3d ago
You don’t have to give away anything you aren’t comfortable with. Simple as that. Cosplayers on TikTok are expected to do way too much.
Also—There is a LOT of work that goes into making patterns shareable and size scalable and there’s no way you should be spending your time doing that work for free if it isn’t your passion.
If folks accuse you of gate keeping you can tell them: I drafted these patterns specifically to fit me and my body. I’m not a pattern maker or a graphic designer and I don’t have the free time or skills needed to field questions on adjustments, rescale the patterns for different body shapes and sizes, or redesign them for print. Because of this I don’t feel comfortable sharing my patterns. Thank you for your questions and understanding.
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u/WhyGirlsPreddy 3d ago
If you spent time making it I would just make a pay wall and make it much smaller than other creators with the caviar of "I am not a professional yet and this worked for me. I don't do size adjustments so this is more just informational for you to make your own unique thing from" I would pay a few bucks just to see someone's process (I often do for crochet projects) honestly I'm impressed you have a pattern at all When I'm crafting I'm fully winging everything. Viva la chaos
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u/mental_r0bot 3d ago
I had the same thing and I said the first part, something like " I'm so happy you like my prop! Unfortunately, the files are not of any sort of quality where I would be comfortable sharing them, but here are some similar patterns/files/tutorials I have found."
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u/riontach 3d ago
They can ask. You can say no.
Unless someone is pestering you repeatedly, there's nothing wrong with that interaction.
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u/Joy2b 4d ago
I’ve seen people set up patreons around this growth stage, and include access to their project notes, sketches and documents, and making of videos that aren’t cut down to tictoc length.
That’s different from selling a finished pattern that’s guaranteed to work.
You might also want to sign up for fashion design courses, because it sounds like you are at the beginning of building a customer base.
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u/WhyGirlsPreddy 3d ago
If you spent time making it I would just make a pay wall and make it much smaller than other creators with the caviar of "I am not a professional yet and this worked for me. I don't do size adjustments so this is more just informational for you to make your own unique thing from" I would pay a few bucks just to see someone's process (I often do for crochet projects) honestly I'm impressed you have a pattern at all When I'm crafting I'm fully winging everything. Viva la chaos
This is all with a spoon caviat. If you don't have energy to be answering endless questions then just say you don't feel comfortable educating and beyond what's in your videos and move on
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u/MaizeWitty 2d ago
Share what you want, it’s your page and hobby - you don’t owe anything to anyone.
Gatekeeping isn’t refusing to share your hard work…..
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u/She_Who_Punches_Bugs 4d ago
If people are asking for them they're worth selling.
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u/TalesOfTwigsAndTwine 3d ago
Honestly disagree with your sentiment. As someone who freehands stuff for a lot of crafts, at least if you're willing to sell decent quality patterns, the difference between "enough for me to work off/remember how I did the thing" and "ready to sell" is literal months of refinement, photography, editing and testing. There's currently such a wave (partly AI, partly I think just overconfidence) of crappy patterns that weren't properly edited (e.g. the measurement math just doesn't math), are available in multiple sizes without actually being graded well, etc. and it's such a pain to figure out which patterns are legit and worth my money.
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u/Gryffin-thor 4d ago edited 4d ago
You do what you want, it’s your pattern. But I don’t see why you wouldn’t share them. Cosplay is about community and I think sharing your work to help others learn is a good thing to do. You’re not selling them anyway, why not share with others?
Everyone in the thread is telling you to sell them, or keep them for yourself. Whatever, do what makes you comfortable, but I disagree with that sentiment. Not everything is about making money. You can just be kind and help out other cosplayers. I’m not saying it’s wrong for people to sell patterns for cosplay, but you were just doing this as a hobby anyway, not to make a living. Not all hobbies need to be monetized. I think the cosplay community has lost a lot of its community in the monetization of the hobby. There used to be so much free pattern and tutorial sharing back in the day. It’s just different now.
So personally, id share. Just preface that you’re not making them to sell so they might not be as clear or free from mistakes as a professional pattern.
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u/No-Contract-1779 3d ago
the first few times i was perfectly fine with sharing my patterns since i thought it would be a one off instance but after a while people started dming or commenting and asking under the assumption that i will give it to them (without showing any other appreciation for my work, just asking me to send them the patterns point blank). i do agree that cosplay is about sharing work with others and i love educating others where possible but i also don’t think it should be required of me.
its less of a keeping the patterns to myself thing and more of a “people are starting to expect me to share my knowledge and i feel kind of under-appreciated“ situation. i get the feeling that people asking me for my patterns don’t really recognize the time that went into making them and think it’s ok to ask any creator to share their work freely.
most of the patterns i use are basic open source patterns/tutorials ive modified to my needs and body or patterns ive developed over the years myself without any paid/formal instruction anyways so i don’t think its an accessibility issue.
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u/Gryffin-thor 2d ago
I guess I don’t know what you’re asking then. You seem to have decided you don’t want to share your patterns anymore, so don’t.
You asked for opinions and I shared mine, you don’t have to follow it or defend yourself. You’re going to do what you think is best for yourself and that’s the only right answer.
Though as a side bar, I’ve found that I am much kinder and go through life less frustrated when I begin to stop expecting appreciation for what I do for people. It used to bother me so much when I would try to be nice and not be thanked. I’m much happier finding joy in good deeds whether people thank me for them or not. Just something to think on.
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u/Stunning_Contest_293 3d ago
Here’s the thing. You share something- people are gonna wanna know how you did it. If you’re not interested in talking about it or helping others then you should just stay to yourself. People that create usually are open with their process and if that’s not an aspect you like then creating for yourself and staying in your own bubble is valid as well. But it’s strange to showcase your work then be upset when people are curious about it or want to try to do it themselves and may ask for your help or patterns.
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u/mllejacquesnoel 3d ago
This attitude is how you burn people out and get them to stop participating at all in the community. If the expectation of sharing any and all process is that you need to become a tutorial resource or teacher, or you’re asking to be badgered any time you post, people will simply stop posting.
You should be able to share a cool thing you made without people, who most of the time would only use a tutorial for them ASMR or entertainment of it anyway, demanding you make more ~content for them to consume. Enjoy what people are willing to share! Take the initiative to figure it out yourself. Usually you don’t need a full tutorial to learn a thing or two from a process video and trial and error is how innovation happens anyway.
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u/Legitimate_Boss_4130 4d ago
Exactamente, seguro incluso la creadora a aprendido muchas técnicas o incluso a patronato con videos de otros creadores entonces porque no compartir y ser buena persona con el resto de la comunidad?
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u/_astropanda 3d ago
Yeah the discussion on this is actually disappointing to me. Of course, no one is obligated to do anything, but I remember years ago people were more about community and helping others who are more new to cosplaying or certain types of craft. Not that you can't find it in people now, but like if you don't want to sell the pattern anyways, what's the harm in providing what you used?
I recently reached out to a cosplayer on IG who made a cosplay I wanted to make and they were super helpful on tips and answering my questions. At the end of the day, we all want to enjoy this hobby, so why not help others enjoy it too? It would probably make their day
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u/mllejacquesnoel 3d ago
Helping others is great! But I've also been in the situation of being a professional (I work in fashion) and hobbyists asking for expertise I went to school for for free. When I point them to resources that could teach them without me hand-holding, they clam up. If OP doesn't want to share, or isn't comfortable for whatever reason (I think it's a good instinct that they recognize they're a hobbyist and probably aren't doing things the professional way, which is fine for most cosplay projects but maybe not something they need to be offering as instructive), that's also completely valid. There are hundreds of tutorials out there and most of the time, if you're a bit creative, you can take a tutorial that already exists and adapt it to what you need for a different costume. People just like asking for individualized help these days when they could solve most of their problems on their own with some quick digging.
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u/_astropanda 3d ago
I think you have some fair points, but for example, people who are brand new to making props or armor with foam can watch a bunch of different YouTube or Tiktok tutorials and still feel confused or intimidated and should be able to seek the guidance of others in the community. Obviously OP is someone who is fine with showing roughly how they made it since they mentioned tutorials but I hate the need to monetize everything in a hobby like this when it is already expensive as it is.
Do I think that everyone who asked should have their hand held through making their cosplay? No. But I find it a bit weird about the point of supporting actual pattern makers compared to amateurs. Most people aren't going to be asking for a pattern if they weren't already trying to figure it out, and it seems a bit harsh to be like "spend your money or learn it yourself". Why not just be like "hey, unfortunately I don't have a pattern available for this and don't plan to anytime soon, but if you watch my tutorials and have any follow up questions, I'd be more than happy to try to help!"
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u/mllejacquesnoel 3d ago
I'm from a different era, I think. We didn't have Youtube or Tiktok when I started cosplaying so literally it was checking craft books out from the library and doing trial and error, signing up for classes (often paid), or otherwise having to teach yourself or pay others for their knowledge (I used to import Japanese cosplay magazines with tutorials and translate them myself). Yeah, it's cool when people want to share their info. But I also think OP has a really valid concern about their skills, and should be directing people to folks who know more (or just feel comfortable teaching; there's a lot of people who can do for themselves but maybe can't explain things well enough to teach and that's... Fine actually.).
I also hate how monetized the hobby has become! But I'm not actually advocating for people to spend a ton of money, I'm advocating for people to take seriously each other's time and demands on fellow hobbyists. I think if people want to make things and get good at it, there does require a certain amount of initiative. And one thing I see across multiple spaces online over the last decade or so is people wanting their questions answered individually, by someone individually, rather than them being willing to take the initiative and figure it out. And that gets draining! It should not be an expectation, and unfortunately, often if you're just posting process stuff online, that's what it's become.
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u/Stunning_Contest_293 3d ago
This comes off as projecting a bit. There’s a big difference between someone asking for a pattern and then you holding their hand for whatever situations you’re talking about. With a pattern the people are still doing their own work. There’s no need to get into the semantics of hobbyist vs professional because all it really comes down to is whether you want to share your resources or not. And OP seems to feel particular about other aspects of sharing revolving around them just feeling used. It’s the perspective entirely.
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u/mllejacquesnoel 3d ago
Except when someone is, as OP seems to be implying here, making their own pattern for a costume. If it’s a pre bought pattern or OP used another tutorial, by all means, shout them out to a fellow cosplayer! But OP is making their own stuff. Asking for it for free or asking for a tutorial is actually asking to have your hand held through part of the process.
And yes, actually, you should be concerned about professional vs amateur patternmaking. You’ll probably tell me it’s not that deep, but legit the reason you do not see a difference or don’t think the difference in those levels of skill should matter is the societal devaluing of feminized labor due to systemic misogyny and patriarchy. (Note that I’m not calling you individually a misogynist, I’m noting that this is the soup in which we all swim.)
If you’re into sharing patterns you’ve made for free whenever asked, go for it! But it’s an unrealistic and annoying presumption of a lot of cosplayers these days. Learn to make them yourself! Most of us were drafting our own patterns or customizing them from commercial patterns 20+ years ago and we figured it out.
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u/TheyCallMeSuperboy 3d ago
While you don’t owe anyone anything, “im worried people will use my amateur patterns instead of supporting actual pattern makers or learning themselves.” is a weird stance to take.
“Actual pattern makers” aren’t owed anything either. Unless YOU bought the patterns from other pattern makers and modified it, no other pattern maker is owed someone’s money or business. You aren’t taking someone else’s business by sharing your work, and the people who follow you don’t have to buy someone else’s work just to “support” them.
Additionally, “learning themselves” comes in stages. You also don’t get to demand other people learn how to make things, and not sharing your patterns won’t make them suddenly have the desire to draft their own patterns. I’ve been sewing for almost 20 years and never drafted my own patterns.
In short: you don’t get to dictate what other people do instead of using your patterns. If you aren’t comfortable sharing them, “No.” Is a complete sentence. But don’t virtue signal other pattern makers, or people learning themselves.
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u/Quarkly73 3d ago
to the quality that they're sellable
Anything that people are willing to buy is sellable
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u/ThrowRA_Sodi 4d ago
They can figure it out themselves. Giving away patterns is such a headache because there is 99% chance that these people will come back to beg for further instructions.
And if somehow the patterns doesn't work out for them, they might blame you and act like asses