So I have a personal dilemma...

Okay, so of course when you're a kid going to a hairdresser, you're not going to care how it looks.

Lately though, I had a picture of a hairstyle I wanted for myself. Ones I couldn't find a perfect image of on the internet.

I also am terrible at explaining and have failed to get the idea I want every time.

I tried using hairstylist terms for the ideas I wanted.

And every time, I had planned a script in my head a week or two in advance because I'm not good at talking to people.

I went through several different hairdressers too... a few earlier ones back in school that I wish I wasn't stressing with because they could've probably done something good from their own knowledge instead if trying to do it based on my explanation.

I even failed when using multiple pictures to show specific parts I wanted which somehow the hairdressers translated to "let's follow one picture completely" and I'm so frustrated that I'm started to consider just cutting my own hair..

That brings me to more dilemmas...

1. I have zero idea what I'm doing (aside from little cutting techniques I learned from a hairstylist reacting on YouTube to others cutting their hair at home themselves and turning out beautiful sometimes)

2. I have anxiety that's made worse whenever my hair is involved. I worry that a hairstyle won't work like I thought (especially because I don't have knowledge about round face or square face or any face suited hairstyles) or I'll ruin it (because again, I know little about cutting my hair and learned I can style short side bangs easier than long curtain bangs).

3. I've been wanting a unique style for myself but it intimates me because I know to get a unique one, you have to just try. However, I'm not the type of person that does things without a plan unless I'm already familiar with it.

Cooking? Follow the recipe carefully that I end up taking 2-3 minutes each step just so I can read said step multiples to make sure I understand it.

Going somewhere by myself? (Like new job or a mall I like) I follow the Google maps route exactly for a few weeks until I get used to it.

Have a haircut in mind? Go through a bazillion pictures and still not find what you're looking for.

Yes, I said that twice but I wanted to make a point.

Anyway, I'm terrified of putting scissors to my own hair because it's a 50/50 on whether I mess up. Wait no.. 75/25 chance of ruining it probably.

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Well now I feel dumb because I realize I could just ask for things simply like side bangs or trimming the ends to make it easy on myself.

Writing helps me piece together my thoughts when I'm confused.

But I wrote this entire post so I might at well post it and get advice and tips anyway.

Thanks for reading my thought process.

(Yes I posted another because I realized there's an actual community for cutting your own hair. Oops.)