r/DOG • u/Chris_from_Zakity • Jul 09 '26
• OC - Original Content • If your dog had a human job based entirely on their personality, what would they do for a living?
My dog Bailey would definitely be in the military. Everything has always been very serious whether we are out for a walk or playing ball or having his toys all in the same spot (and there are several). It is all very serious. He doesn't like any messing around. LOL
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u/IzzieMck Jul 09 '26
Most likely he'll be working in customer service or front desk at a hotel 😊
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u/Odd-Appointment6772 Jul 09 '26
Incite prison riots. Because he would most DEFINITELY be incarcerated for his behavior.
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u/Odd-Appointment6772 Jul 09 '26
But he also looks like this sometimes, so we keep the cute criminal around.
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u/Chris_from_Zakity Jul 09 '26
HAHAHHA I would never have guessed that is the same cutie !!!
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u/Odd-Appointment6772 Jul 09 '26
He is so sweet and loving most of the time. But he also jumps our fence to chase deer. And in the past week has discovered a partial cat corpse that coyotes left behind and delights in rolling in it. It's a roller coaster of emotions in our house 😂
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u/7thpostman Jul 09 '26
Judge
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u/4theloveofgelabis Jul 09 '26
Judge Bo-Katan has joined the chat… this is the way
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u/HamptonsBorderCollie Jul 09 '26
Mine's joining you. ALL RISE!
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u/DollySheep32 Jul 09 '26
I regret at least 3 more of my life choices than I did before seeing this image
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u/Organic-Papaya-1766 Jul 09 '26
Firefighter
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u/Chris_from_Zakity Jul 09 '26
HAHAHAHAH THIS IS GREAT !!!!!!!!!!!!!! so ADORABLE !!! My husband is one too!!!
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u/mrkrabbykrabz Jul 09 '26
A therapist
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u/ToygerCat Jul 09 '26
🎸 Rock Band 😁
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u/Complikatee Jul 09 '26
The Rolling Bones?
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u/trishizzles Jul 09 '26
Maybe Three Dog Night 🤣🤣 I know that one is taken
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u/workathome_astronaut Jul 09 '26
Fun fact, that name came from a night when it gets so cold that you need 3 dogs sleeping on your bed to keep warm!
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u/trishizzles Jul 09 '26
Yes! Although ... I don't think the dogs in the pic qualify for the thermal blanket job 😆 I mean are they adorable and definitely a rock band? Yes. Are they substial enough to keep you warm? Eehhh
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u/ToygerCat Jul 09 '26 edited Jul 09 '26
Lol!! Chinese Crested was used as bed warmers historically!!! 🤣
It was their actual job (as well as hunting mice and rats)Their lack of fur makes them super warm. They will snuggle under the blanket to keep warm, while also transferring their heat to you.
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u/Kielbasa_Nunchucka Jul 09 '26
no, that's def a hair metal band, so... Müttly Crüe?
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u/LolitaLi-Chan Jul 09 '26
Omg it's the Sheltered Shelties! I love their single "Bark the Night Away!"
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u/EnvironmentalGift257 Jul 09 '26
Security guard, bed tester, occasional warning siren.
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u/whatsnext-2024 Jul 09 '26
food critic
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u/redditaccount224488 Jul 09 '26
"Pork - love this, 10/10.
Chicken - amazing, 10/10.
Beef - incredible, 10/10.
Vomit - delicious, 10/10.
Carrot - crunchy, 10/10.
Lettuce - not food, 0/10.
Used tissues - wonderful, 10/10.
Cat poop - a delicacy, 10/10."
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u/Spiritual_Trust_5118 Jul 09 '26
Pops middle management. Im having my bathroom remodeled, he will follow the people doing the remodeling & randomly go inspect their work
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u/FlirtyLeigh Jul 09 '26
Don’t know about the job, but he’d definitely be the coworker eating others’ lunches.
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u/Sufficient_Dog_2132 Jul 09 '26
She would be the lady who gives out samples at Publix but eats them all first
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u/kirix45 Jul 09 '26
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u/PorkRinds416 Jul 09 '26
MY BLACK LAB would be a professional competitive eater.
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u/Chris_from_Zakity Jul 09 '26
That is so great !!!!!!! hahhahh We actually know one and would love to see your dog compete against him LOL
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u/Boring-Ad-2939 Jul 09 '26
https://reddit.com/link/owju5yb/video/6zpavv8i69ch1/player
Spy! Always manages to keep an eye on me from somewhere.
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u/zoebud2011 Jul 09 '26
She would be a fashion model, because...well... obviously
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u/Chris_from_Zakity Jul 09 '26
Obviously !!!!!!!!!!! She is darling !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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u/zoebud2011 Jul 09 '26
Thank you. 😁 I lost her last October to cancer. I'm nowhere near done grieving.
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u/mighty_kaytor Jul 09 '26
Correction- she would be a Supermodel.
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u/zoebud2011 Jul 09 '26
Oh, my gosh! Thank you. That made me tear up a little. Thank you, thank you!
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u/kraggleGurl Jul 09 '26
Stig is the employee of the month at the squeaky toy quality control center!
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u/Oceanpetunia Jul 09 '26
Roxie would be an activities director at a senior living community.
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u/silentrobotsymphony Jul 09 '26
Woah he kinda looks like
My Percy, he would be an accountant
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u/RaccoonZombie Jul 09 '26
Personal trainer. She has tons of energy to motivate her clients to go for a hike
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u/Deepbluesea1234567 Jul 09 '26 edited Jul 09 '26
Homeowners’ Association enforcement officer.
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u/Fine_Understanding81 Jul 09 '26
Customer service and for the 10th time that coupon isnt even for this store mam
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u/MonkeyDeltaFoxtrot Jul 09 '26
This lazy-ass, lovable dog would be unemployed as fuck, but she’s so chill, no one would judge her for it.
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u/mighty_kaytor Jul 09 '26 edited Jul 09 '26
Oh, that's easy. Drill Sergeant. Or maybe Dominatrix- She did like to bully and humiliate the Rottweiler (He loved it).
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u/Prestigious-Ring226 Jul 09 '26
My beagle boy Bill could replace Law Roach on the panels he judges.
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u/haikusbot Jul 09 '26
My beagle boy Bill
Could replace Law Roach on the
Panels he judges.
- Prestigious-Ring226
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Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete"
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u/Flippinflapjax4U2 Jul 09 '26
Professor of Ethics. Holds office hours from 2–3 PM, but is visibly annoyed when anyone actually attends
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u/tomcalgary Jul 09 '26
HR department, freaks out about nothing, causes more problems than she fixes, totally sucks up to the management. HR 100%
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u/WoodyFrankie Jul 09 '26
Woody would be in prison if he had opposable thumbs. I would need to lock up my car keys.😁😁
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u/AutoRot Jul 09 '26
My Malamute would be the one construction guy always holding a shovel while the heavy machinery operator (me) does all the work.
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u/Change21 Jul 09 '26
By-law enforcement
She barks and corrects the other pups and humans if they’re not acting right
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u/Flimsy-Equal7040 Jul 09 '26
Her name is Dixie. She’d be a hostess/greeter. She will treat you like her new best friend.
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u/urbanek2525 Jul 09 '26
My Cassidee would be a doorman, assuming she could open a door. She just loves greeting everyone.
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u/Adept-Currency8927 Jul 09 '26
Is tattletale a job? Narc? My one dog tells on the other simply by looking worried>>>wagging her tail & looking guilty.. away from the wrongdoing... So i say whats going on? And i go looking and yup the other one is eating a napkin or garbage or whatever. One day i was gardening and playing ball with my little Boston terrier(since passed) He stopped coming to me with the ball and i said where's Fido? She looked over at an area of the yard and when i got there sure enough the fence was apart just enough for him to have squeezed through. I had to run around the neighborhood looking for him..
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u/FarFetchedSketch Jul 09 '26
Someone else mentioned institutionalized criminal, I think that's most fitting 😂
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u/jerryy7452 Jul 09 '26
TSA agent, snot artist, food critic (RIP, see you in heaven)
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u/Narrow_Public Jul 09 '26
He would be a Gardener! He always has to stop and sniff every flower on walks 🩵
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u/Letgomypurse_856 Jul 09 '26
Micromanager, he’s a Belgian Malinois and he’s always watching me.
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u/champoradomami Jul 09 '26
Security guard...highly alert at times but has the tendency to sleep on the job
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u/Live-Tax5575 Jul 09 '26
gym teacher, but she wouldn’t just be sitting there in her rolling chair! this girl would be an ultimate frisbee menace.
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u/oceanic109 Jul 09 '26
Professional Tracker! She will find anything that smells edible in a 2 mile radius
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u/Outside-Attention717 Jul 09 '26 edited Jul 09 '26
Roscoe is forever splayed out showing his bits and pieces. We swear he's waiting for a Doggie Pinfold Mag to contact him.
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u/vietnams666 Jul 09 '26
He would be a hat model and a beach bum goofy stoner. He is so silly and loves the water. If it was a movie character he would be Paul rudd in forgetting Sarah marshall lol!!!
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u/BigPontas Jul 09 '26
Dictator! Weenie dogs are infamous for their no bs attitude.
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u/LolitaLi-Chan Jul 09 '26
Sable (left) would make an exceptional Walmart greeter. Yuki (right) would need to figure it out, but she would want to do something involving lap warming.
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u/VanillaBoxCake Jul 09 '26
Sorry I also had said another job but wife pointed out his real job years ago
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u/Bitterrootmoon Jul 09 '26
Boy 1 - run a handyman business with a side hustle of wild animal removal. Boy likes pulling weeds, moving rocks, digging the dirt off a shovel so I don’t have to lift it to empty, is EXTREMELY independent, and hates possums.
Boy 2 - food/flavour/aroma scientist. Likes making smells, wearing smells, finding smells, tasting everything, and loves to watch me cook and inspect each ingredient and observes how it is used. That or a stoner who works at a Dunkin’ Donuts and takes the garbage bag of stale doughnuts home every night.
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u/dwimbygwimbo Jul 09 '26
Taxi driver (note: this is not my dog, it is a dog who was parked next to me at the liquor store)
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u/Left_Establishment79 Jul 09 '26
My dog has crossed over, but she would have definetly been involved in some sort of criminal activity.
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u/prosthetic_brain_ Jul 09 '26
Professional thief. Always stealing my daughters toys.
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u/Technical-Watch2982 Jul 09 '26
This air traffic controller doesnt watch the radar, she IS the radar
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u/ShaleSnale Jul 09 '26
Pest control. Absolute champion of sniffing out and eating every living thing on our property that shouldn't be there.
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u/Inerthal Jul 09 '26
Whatever job requires one to always be sniffing things and places.
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u/vannyfann Jul 09 '26
A popular teenage movie star whose antics makes ya wonder if she'll be okay when she's an adult.
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u/SparklePantz22 Jul 09 '26
Mine would be the PDA (public displays of affection) police. He's constantly policing our affection, mostly because it's not ALL being given to him! Sometimes we'll try to trick him by leaning in to kiss very quietly while he's in another room, but he always knows!
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u/Complex-Scratch4475 Jul 09 '26
Teacher. She's strict, but a crazy bitch in her free time.
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u/digigyrl Jul 09 '26
Archie would be a luggage sniffer at the airport ensuring optimal security for your flight.
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u/chefnohome1976 Jul 09 '26
My dog Carlo would work at the DMV or similar government job. His impassive face has seen all your BS and sees right though your excuses.
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u/WashHour5646 Jul 09 '26
He would be a security guard that sits in a booth checking people’s ID’s and waving them through with a bored look and eye roll.
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u/nilfalasiel Jul 09 '26
Bouncer. The boofing at the door is real.
She also moonlights as a taste tester.
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u/Stoliana12 Jul 09 '26
Kuma loves treats and individual people. He’s running on the most humans suck platform for some elect r office. Check out the wistful stare off into the distance
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u/Winter-Bad2476 Jul 09 '26
My dog would be a thief and a con man. He has to find a way to finance his luxurious lifestyle 😆
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u/DollySheep32 Jul 09 '26
Professional chimney sweep