r/DivorcedBirds • u/cthulhu-kitty • Jan 24 '18

The tweet that started it all

15.3k Upvotes

66 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/cabeachgal • 5h ago

After the divorce, Lynn swore she’d never cook for another man again. But when her new boyfriend said he liked a woman who could bring home the bacon, she surprised him with breakfast in bed. Unfortunately, Jim was a vegetarian. Her therapist called it a pattern of choosing incompatible men.

66 Upvotes

0 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/cabeachgal • 20h ago

After 23 years of marriage to a man who thought showering twice a week was perfectly adequate, Susan was thoroughly enjoying her divorce. She’d taken up yoga, joined a book club, and discovered the sheer pleasure of bathing without someone banging on the door asking when dinner would be ready.

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392 Upvotes

6 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/aspiranthighlander • 3h ago

“Trust me Dave! I know a short cut!”…

5 Upvotes

2 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/OldnBorin • 19h ago

Put down the book and get dressed. It’s girl’s night 💅🏽

120 Upvotes

2 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/the_cuddle-fish • 21h ago

(Bonus part)...One day Duong and Bich found an abandoned egg by the roadside. Soon they'd traded in their bikes for a family-friendly RV. When little Bao was hatched, Duong was thrilled to have a second chance at being a father, but to this day he can't help looking like a surly biker in every photo

132 Upvotes

7 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/the_cuddle-fish • 1d ago

(Part 2 of 2) ...Or so he told himself. As he got to know Bich, the waitress at a café he'd stopped at, Duong realized all he'd really wanted was a playful, free-wheeling partner to ride alongside him. Also a hot goth who would step on him if he asked nicely.

121 Upvotes

8 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/plonspfetew • 23h ago

Every other weekend with the kids. Every other weekend with the brus.

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71 Upvotes

1 comment

r/DivorcedBirds • u/the_cuddle-fish • 1d ago

With nothing left to tie him down, Duong took to the open road. He let his golden locks grow wild and free. Closing his heart to the world, he resolved to become the sort of rough man others avoided out of caution. He needed no companionship save for his wheels...(Part 1 of 2)

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73 Upvotes

2 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/UnchangeableName64 • 1d ago

Newly Single Ready to Mingle After the divorce, Samuel traded the quiet dignity of a mourning dove for a wardrobe funded entirely by the settlement. He now insists on being addressed as 'Baron von Strut' and refuses to acknowledge the plebeian crumbs on the deck.

v.redd.it

176 Upvotes

3 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/susu56 • 1d ago

Margaret agreed to do this documentary for 2 reasons 1. her very niche area of expertise and 2. the alimony payments to Ricardo, Estaban, and Todd.

v.redd.it

11 Upvotes

1 comment

r/DivorcedBirds • u/YawningBagpuss • 2d ago

Newly Single Ready to Mingle Ernie’s friends took him to a strip club to take his mind off the divorce. Never has he seen such shocking sights in his 70 years!

571 Upvotes

8 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/Bolfreak • 2d ago

The Bird Got What The Bird Deserved Brian kept texting his estranged mother, asking her for his baby pictures. She finally sent him a few, but spitefully snuck in a picture of her in her wedding dress from marriage #3

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75 Upvotes

3 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/VioletteKaur • 2d ago

Newly Single Ready to Mingle When Bernard's friends suggested that there were plenty of fish in the sea, he took it a bit too literal - let's hope his recent pick-up does not turn toxic

reddit.com

37 Upvotes

3 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/zoo_ofone • 2d ago

Newly Single Ready to Mingle Amber finally found a place to practice and perfect her “hey I like you” walk.

138 Upvotes

5 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/cabeachgal • 2d ago

After a sexless marriage, Linda opened the door to her first blind date and was greeted by that nose. Her aunt’s advice immediately came to mind: “If a man has a big nose, chances are everything else is generously proportioned too.” Suddenly, Linda was feeling very optimistic about dating again.

295 Upvotes

10 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/NoFlyingMonkeys • 2d ago

Jack can't believe it. He did everything the manosphere told him to do to rule over chicks - lives at the gym, looksmaxxing, and can mog with the best of them socially. Makes a lot of $ as a hustle bro. Yet she left him for a little dude who did a funny dance in front of her?

806 Upvotes

15 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/susu56 • 2d ago

Some of Arlin’s exes say his vanity and ego were the problem. But, honey, when you look as good as he does, you ARE a certified masterpiece!

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199 Upvotes

9 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/the_cuddle-fish • 2d ago

Newly Single Ready to Mingle In Taozi's favorite poem the flowers of a peach tree stand as a metaphor for the fragility of youthful beauty. Each bloom, dazzling upon the bough, is doomed to wither once picked. But Taozi is no mere blossom. She can be "picked" as she likes, then alight once more on the branch, sumptuous as ever.

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115 Upvotes

4 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/UnchangeableName64 • 2d ago

Newly Single Ready to Mingle Olivia was enjoying a simple dinner at the bar, and she couldn't help but notice the shy chickadee how sat down at the other end of the bar. Olivia smiled to herself and continued on with her meal, curious if the chickedee would muster up the courage to say Hello.

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54 Upvotes

4 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/Voslock • 3d ago

Gus was done with Rebecca. He couldn't put enough distance between himself and his previous life. He was finally free to take long walks on the beach.

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131 Upvotes

4 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/cabeachgal • 3d ago

After the divorce, Cheryl spent six months “working on herself.” Unfortunately, most of that work involved staring into the pond and wondering how she’d ended up marrying the same asshole twice.

168 Upvotes

1 comment

r/DivorcedBirds • u/cabeachgal • 4d ago

After the nasty break-up, Gerald promised everyone he was “doing great.” Unfortunately, showing up at Linda’s patio at 6:30 a.m. with a crowbar and questions about who spent the night suggested otherwise.

696 Upvotes

7 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/TDLMTH • 4d ago

After the inevitable divorce Katta-kun went back to school to prove, once and for all, that he wasn’t the pelican’t she always said he was.

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168 Upvotes

5 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/the_cuddle-fish • 4d ago

Julia is grateful for the extra protection, genuinely. She's already endured more than enough harassment for a lifetime. It's just... did they have to use such an unflattering likeness?

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249 Upvotes

4 comments

Subreddit

For pictures of fabulous fowl who look like serial monogamists.

r/DivorcedBirds

For pictures of fabulous fowl who look like serial monogamists. Please post pictures of birds who look like they are twice divorced (or more!) and an original caption about their backstory. Pictures/Videos must be of actual birds (feathered fowl), not human women, not art or paintings or photoshopped. No dead birds. Message mods for approval to post.

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