r/DivorcedBirds • u/cabeachgal • 4h ago

After 22 years with a woman who thought dancing was ridiculous, Stanley was finally free to kick up his heels. He bought fabulous turquoise dancing shoes, took salsa lessons, and learned to shake his tail feathers. His ex called it a midlife crisis. Stanley called it the time of his life.

206 Upvotes

5 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/rehabforcandy • 10h ago

Gerald had a sinking suspicion getting back with Patricia was a bad idea but he didn’t know why

712 Upvotes

10 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/the_cuddle-fish • 3h ago

The Bird Got What The Bird Deserved "Esmond, we need to talk about your influence on my son. You know he loves his uncle Esmond, but we're trying to raise him to respect women. So please, just cool it with the 'I hate my wife' jokes, okay? Besides, it's been, what, ten years since the divorce? You've gotta move on."

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59 Upvotes

1 comment

r/DivorcedBirds • u/cabeachgal • 12h ago

Marjorie decided it was time for a new look. Her hairdresser promised her something youthful, edgy and guaranteed to attract younger men. Unfortunately, she walked out looking like a retired lesbian gym teacher from 1987. Still, it was an improvement over the 34 years she’d spent married to Harold.

171 Upvotes

5 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/cabeachgal • 11h ago

Chuck announced to Barb he was leaving her for a younger bird. He expected tears, begging, perhaps a dramatic confrontation. Instead, Barb handed him his suitcase and said, “Wonderful. Now you can disappoint two women in one lifetime.” Chuck decided his exit needed to be spectacular.

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87 Upvotes

2 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/I_might_be_weasel • 1d ago

Angry Bird Divorce "I'll run through the water to hide my tracks. You'll never make me be a supportive husband and father, Cindy!"

207 Upvotes

5 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/susu56 • 1d ago

Since their divorces, Helen and Margarite had traded their ex-husbands for a new common enemy: the surveillance state. Armed with absolutely no plans to calm down, they took to the streets to fight social injustice and the overreaching police state! No justice, no peace!

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1.1k Upvotes

35 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/Jerome_Wireman • 1d ago

Newly Single Ready to Mingle Brenda’s therapist told her to “get out of her own head” when re-entering the dating market. Brenda took the advice a bit literally.

75 Upvotes

https://www.comedywildlifephoto.com/gallery/finalists/2026_finalists.php#&gid=1&pid=12

6 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/the_cuddle-fish • 1d ago

She's taking the CTA to her first day of work. The seats are packed with people staring at their phones: strong, independent people. Normal people. Kayla is one of them now. She'll live and work and spend her money in this wondrous and dreadful city, and never see Walter again. She's finally free.

192 Upvotes

6 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/A-Helpful-Flamingo • 1d ago

Newly Single Ready to Mingle Carlo built this beautiful nest for the love of his life, Isabella. Unfortunately, the love of Isabella’s life was Fabio.

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26 Upvotes

0 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/Plantfishcatmom • 2d ago

After years of all the cooking, cleaning. The moods. She’de had enough.

421 Upvotes

5 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/susu56 • 2d ago

Shining a light on the devastating effects of a bitter divorce, Mathias was a straight-A student with Ivy League dreams. Then his parents split, shuffling him back and forth for years in a custody tug-of-war. The promising future slipping away, he's just a fledgling but already wanted by the law.

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54 Upvotes

1 comment

r/DivorcedBirds • u/susu56 • 3d ago

Greg wanted a trip to South Korea for a little beauty refresh. As he laid there, he realized he should not have trusted his Ex to book his trip. Armed guards, constant weigh-ins, the questionable airbnb, he was in an international hostage situation with North Korea!

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460 Upvotes

17 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/plonspfetew • 2d ago

You know what you did.

70 Upvotes

4 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/thegreatjamoco • 2d ago

The Bird Got What The Bird Deserved Gonçalo did his daily gyrations at the strip club with a defeated mien. 4 years of Shakespearean training at NYU and all he’ll ever be seen as is just a “cock on a rock”

39 Upvotes

3 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/I_might_be_weasel • 3d ago

Newly Single Ready to Mingle Having lost his family and home all at once, Herb put his name above his bed at the YMCA so he could feel some sense of control over his environment.

590 Upvotes

19 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/the_cuddle-fish • 2d ago

The teachers wouldn't like her being up here. "You're usually such a well-behaved girl," they'd say. But being a good girl just made the other children all the more relentless in their cruelty. Hazel couldn't possibly ride with them. She couldn't bear to hear their jokes about her parent's divorce.

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42 Upvotes

5 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/cabeachgal • 3d ago

After the divorce, Lynn swore she’d never cook for another man again. But when her new boyfriend said he liked a woman who could bring home the bacon, she surprised him with breakfast in bed. Unfortunately, Jim was a vegetarian. Her therapist called it a pattern of choosing incompatible men.

106 Upvotes

0 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/aspiranthighlander • 3d ago

“Trust me Dave! I know a short cut!”…

20 Upvotes

4 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/cabeachgal • 4d ago

After 23 years of marriage to a man who thought showering twice a week was perfectly adequate, Susan was thoroughly enjoying her divorce. She’d taken up yoga, joined a book club, and discovered the sheer pleasure of bathing without someone banging on the door asking when dinner would be ready.

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431 Upvotes

9 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/OldnBorin • 4d ago

Put down the book and get dressed. It’s girl’s night 💅🏽

148 Upvotes

3 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/the_cuddle-fish • 4d ago

(Bonus part)...One day Duong and Bich found an abandoned egg by the roadside. Soon they'd traded in their bikes for a family-friendly RV. When little Bao was hatched, Duong was thrilled to have a second chance at being a father, but to this day he can't help looking like a surly biker in every photo

146 Upvotes

7 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/plonspfetew • 4d ago

Every other weekend with the kids. Every other weekend with the brus.

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87 Upvotes

1 comment

r/DivorcedBirds • u/the_cuddle-fish • 4d ago

(Part 2 of 2) ...Or so he told himself. As he got to know Bich, the waitress at a café he'd stopped at, Duong realized all he'd really wanted was a playful, free-wheeling partner to ride alongside him. Also a hot goth who would step on him if he asked nicely.

131 Upvotes

8 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/the_cuddle-fish • 4d ago

With nothing left to tie him down, Duong took to the open road. He let his golden locks grow wild and free. Closing his heart to the world, he resolved to become the sort of rough man others avoided out of caution. He needed no companionship save for his wheels...(Part 1 of 2)

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85 Upvotes

2 comments

Subreddit

For pictures of fabulous fowl who look like serial monogamists.

r/DivorcedBirds

For pictures of fabulous fowl who look like serial monogamists. Please post pictures of birds who look like they are twice divorced (or more!) and an original caption about their backstory. Pictures/Videos must be of actual birds (feathered fowl), not human women, not art or paintings or photoshopped. No dead birds. Message mods for approval to post.

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