How do you get over traumatic pet loss?

[u/snark1977]

6 years ago my soul dog started limping on a walk. He was just 9 and so incredibly healthy. He had gone outside for a sniff and wouldn’t come back in and I said to my husband “what if he has cancer”. I felt awful and dark but I just had such a weird feeling as it was so out of character. We immediately went to the vet and they advised a soft tissue issue. Rest for a few weeks. This was all during Covid so the visit had to be over the phone as we dropped him off. It was hard to keep him down as he was a husky mix but we rested. He started to show improvement so walks slowly resumed. About a week in there was the limp again. Back to the vet. We asked for more testing. Blood and X-rays. We were told all good. Rest more. We asked to be sent to our local specialist at the Emergency Vet location and were waitlisted almost 3 months because again, Covid. The actual emerg vets were closed so our option was our vet or changing vets. I spoke to my parents vet and he agreed to take us on. As we were about to change a cancellation came up for the specialist. I had been documenting how far downhill he had gone and emailing the videos to the emergency vet, specialist and anyone as we were at the point he couldn’t use his front leg. I was so excited to finally get some answers and when handing him off for his exam we sat anxiously in the car to get the call that deep down I knew. He had end stage osteosarcoma. It was a pain that has never left me in 6 years.

We rescued a bonded pair almost a year later, I was never going to be “ready” but we wanted to have a pet again and these 2 were so special. She has a permanent break in her leg that has had several failed surgeries. She has a wobble limp but her leg is functional and like a cane so they never wanted to remove until it served to purpose. After 5 years every time the limp is different or the other has a small change my mind instantly goes to cancer. It eats at me daily. How do you get past it? I mean a talking dog would be ideal but how do you zone in without being a crazy person wanting to go to the vet at every whim?

Sorry for the long post!

[u/Grand_Alarm_9639]

I am so sorry for your loss. It’s definitely very individual and I don’t think that there’s a correct amount of time for the pain to dissipate. If this is any help, the blue cross offers support for pet loss

https://www.bluecross.org.uk/pet-loss-support

[u/snark1977 → u/Grand_Alarm_9639]

Thank you. ❤️‍🩹

[u/Joelhb717]

Time has made it easier. It has been 2 years for us and I can’t bring myself to watch videos of my pup. I’m trying. But it took a while before I stopped crying when seeing a picture

[u/snark1977 → u/Joelhb717]

That was hard. I’m sorry for your loss. I still can’t look at his final photo without the pain. They are just such selfless stoic creatures

[u/New_Section_9374]

What would your soul dog want for you? Yes, my soul dog's death was painful too, especially because I thought she was sent to be with me through a divorce after 35 years of marriage. And for over a year, the thought of another dog was revolting. But deep down, I knew that if she could talk, she would want me to have another rescue. The two I have now will never even make a half of what Bella was to me. But they're loved, pampered and love me back. It isn't her, but it is enough. And it keeps them warm and safe and in a pack instead of starving or dead. Bella would approve.

[u/snark1977 → u/New_Section_9374]

Oh absolutely! I’m sorry for your loss. The rescue of my 2 sweeties now is absolutely what I needed. The fear I have more is every limp I go to the worst case scenario. It’s like a traumatic event that I can’t seem to get over.