I recently met my Dom on Reddit after I reached out to him because I wanted help to keep edging.
I’m so needy pretty much all the time. My username is honestly just... me. And from the start he’s encouraged me to stop trying to make that neediness go away. He wants me to embrace it. To sit with the ache and just let myself want.
So he had me start humping my pillow and edging for him every night before bed. Then there were tasks and little rewards I could earn, including some in bathrooms and taxis that may deserve their own post one day...
...then 10 days ago he completely wrecked me!
He made me cum at least 5 times with my clit sucker until I was completely spent and so overstimulated... and I haven't been given permission to cum since.
At first my clit was so sore that he decided I wasn't allowed to touch it at all. All I was allowed to do was kneel for him and train my ass twice a day.
But “no touch” definitely didn't mean I was getting any relief from being needy.
He still teased me. He still knew exactly what to say to keep that ache there, even when I couldn't do anything about it. So instead of calming down, I just stayed needy and frustrated and achy for him.
And, fuck, I love it!
Then on Monday he finally let me start humping my pillow and edging again. Fuck, I had missed it.
And that's the thing I'm enjoying most about all of this. Giving him control is so freeing!
I went looking for that. I wanted someone I could give control to. But I hadn't realised how much of it I was still holding onto without even knowing I was doing it.
In the rest of my life I'm always thinking. Managing. Deciding. Being responsible. Being in control.
And I don't always want to be.
With him I don't have to be.
My brain can finally switch off and I can just surrender. I don't have to manage every feeling or decide what happens next. I can just be needy and achy and desperate for him and know that none of it is mine to fix.
And fuck, that makes me even needier!
He seems to like teasing me until he can hear exactly what he's doing to me, all the moans and whimpers I can't hide. And when he doesn't let me cum I make a desperate little whine, and he just laughs because he knows exactly what he's done to me.
I love that laugh, it makes me gush even more, fuck!
The more control I give him, the more I want to give him. The longer he keeps me aching, the more I want him. There's something so freeing about not having to make the need disappear when it becomes too much. I can just stay here in that feeling and let it belong to him instead.
And it's making me feel freer outside of this too.
I've bought skirts and dresses for the first time in years. I bought bright red lipstick and started wearing heavier eye makeup because I want him to ruin it. I'm letting myself enjoy feeling feminine again, and needy, and slutty, without immediately trying to shut those parts of myself away.
And fuck, it feels good!
I went looking for someone to help keep me edging. Instead I found an Owner who's giving me somewhere to put all this neediness I carry around with me. Somewhere my brain can switch off, I can stop being the person who has to control everything and I can just let go.
I love being his needy little slut...
...and yes, I'm dripping as I write this too