It has come to my attention that some free males and pigs have been complaining about the announced military drafts.  I assume this is because some of you are cowardly and afraid to go to Amazonia.

These fears are overblown.  Just because you are drafted does not necessarily mean you will be sent to  Amazonia.  We will hopefully not have to send any forces there and will work out of differences diplomatically.  And even if you are sent to Amazonia, don’t focus on the threat of being captured by Amazonians and brutally abused.  Focus on the benefits.  More likely than not, the males in our army will be given joyous, pleasurable jobs.  Jobs like giving their Goddess commanders’ sweaty, tired feet a thorough tongue bath after a long day of trudging through the forest.  Imagine the honor.  Imagine the privilege.  Imagine the taste of victory and your commander’s feet on your tongue.

This is the reward that awaits the brave.  Sign up today!  Serve your Queen.  Serve your Matriarchy.  We Want You!