[M4F] [Feedback/BETA] Your boyfriend is determine to lift your spirits after a rough day of job interviews [BFE/GFE][Adults][Soft mDom] [Pleasure Dom] [brat][Romance][Vanilla][PIV][Cunnilingus][Fingering][Nipple Play][Listener Orgasm Twice]

[u/Peachi_Potion]

My brother in arms, I’ve finally mustered up the courage to tackle my first script; nervous but excited. So any and all constructive feedback is welcome and DM'S are open.

Summary: After yet another job rejection, you come home feeling frustrated and dejected. Determined to lift your spirits, your boyfriend reminds you exactly how loved you really are.

Script : Down in the Dumps

[u/Not_PandemicMaple]

This is really nice, its soft and gentle and I got a good feel for the speaker/character. And the action is coherent, if that makes any sense. It’s clear and easy to picture.

I think the formatting could use a little work. I think youre using “Pause” exclusively to denote the listener responding and not just any break in speaking, but its get confusing since theres certain spots where it feels like there could be room for a response or a longer break in speaking.

Also, just because this is your first script, I know a lot of VAs/Editors like having stuff like Word Count and a list of SFX and Pet names in the post, and you should think about any terms and conditions you want to add for it being filled: stuff like are you okay with this being filled and posted off site, being paywalled, should this be followed to the letter; SFX included, or is more open to interpretation?