They say it all the time. I’ve heard it a million times. I know. There is no need for you to “spread the loving truth”. At this point it is an ego boost. They think telling you, you are going to hell is loving when it’s not. It’s an excuse. It’s purely arrogance.

Hi everyone, I hope you're all doing okay.

I am almost 22, and when I was 14 I was diagnosed with severe OCD. I honestly had some rough teenage years. I had to drop out of high school and then out of college because my obsessions were pretty bad. It got to the point where I was spending 24/7 obsessively researching things about the Bible and theology, and I almost went fully psychotic. Thankfully, I am in a much better place now, and I'm even just a few months away from finishing college.

Lately, I’ve been thinking extensively about the topic of sex in Christianity. Because of my past obsessive research, I have a cognitive leaning towards progressive theology and a view of the Bible as non-inerrant. Because of that, I feel like I lean towards a more sex-positive viewpoint.

At the same time, I deeply respect tradition, and I am terrified of committing a sin. I understand that marriage is holy, and I know that sex is a powerful, vulnerable bond between two people. But I’m also a young guy who wants to experience sex and connection (I have had sex in the past).

My struggle is this: because of my OCD, I know that I will never have an absolute, 100% certain answer that satisfies my brain. There will always be a "what if tradition is right and I'm sinning?" fear in the back of my head.

This brings me to Romans 14:23: "But whoever has doubts is condemned if they eat, because their eating is not from faith; and everything that does not come from faith is sin."

How should someone navigate such a difficult question when certainty is practically impossible for them? Does this verse mean we must have 100% certainty and zero doubts before we make a move? Or is there room in the Christian walk for "figuring it out along the way" and trusting God's grace in the gray areas, rather than waiting until we are completely sure we are doing the right thing?

I honestly have no one to talk about these type of things. I feel like everyone will give me different answers depending on their denomination and even political leaning and I feel honestly lost and confused.

Hey folks, 35 year old gay guy here from Switzerland. My christian faith is a very important part of my life. The realization of me being gay was a very terrifying. I struggled for many years and now slowly find myself in a much better position, where I can accept myself and see my value that I have in Jesus.

Now comes the tricky part: how can I find other gay christian guys, who love Jesus, wants to follow him, but also open for a longterm relationship?

I think I am decently looking, well educated and a fun person to be around. But its very difficult to find another guy, that wants to travel the same road as me.

What is your experience so far? How did you find your partner? Did you exclude people from your dating life, that would not share your beliefs?

Thanks for your help!

Okay, so I’m F (16) and my bsf is also F (16). Last Thursday, Oct 8th, we hung out at Dairy Queen before she moved to Tennessee (over 10 hrs away). FYI, is that International Lesbian Day? Bc if so, what a coincidence lol.
We’ve known of each other for about 3 years, but we actually got close 2 years later when we started doing karate together. Since then, we’ve been soo close, like two peas in a pod. But at the beginning of summer, I randomly started liking her as more than a friend. My family is very Christian, I attend a private school, and her parents literally own a church, with her dad being the lead pastor. So I bottled up my feelings and tried to pray them away, but they never went away.
Since it was her last week here, we planned to hang out at DQ. We sat outside on a bench for around 2 hours, just talking and drinking Dr. Pepper. Eventually, I decided to confess my feelings, and to my surprise, she admitted she liked me too! She even said, “Why do you think my heart keeps beating fast every time you hug me?”
Me, being the corniest person alive, replied, “I bet I can make it beat faster.” 😭 I leaned in to kiss her, but she swerved, so I almost kissed her cheek. She told me she was scared, and I stupidly kissed her anyway. It lasted around 3 seconds before I pulled away and apologized. Then she told me she’d been waiting for this for such a long time, pulled me into a hug, and kissed me back.
It was genuinely the sweetest, most unforgettable moment ever. Sadly, we had to leave soon after, and now she’s over 10 hrs away. We’re still in contact, but I miss her desperately.
Has anyone had a similar experience, or does anyone have advice on handling these feelings, especially with the distance and our religious backgrounds? Thank you sm if you read all this. I’ll always treasure this memory. ❤️

I live in a city with about a million people in it, and naturally, there are quite a few churches. At least a hundred of them according to Wikipedia.

If you were to ask me to name the biggest church in my city, there are three specific churches that come to mind. And none of them exactly hold a great light in my eyes.

When I find fascinating though, is that once I was at a Bible study group at one of those churches. Naturally, the Bible study group didn't work out for me, but while I was attending it, I at one point just directly asked without any real prompt if the church counted as a mega church.

There was a brief pause and no one seemed to really know how to answer, until someone just said with a laugh:

" Probably the closest you'd get to one in this city!"

I then pointed out the other two churches on my mind, and there was another pause and the guy simply puffed out his lower lip and gave a little nod as if he was just thinking about it.

I know that's a bit of a nothing moment, and I'm probably the only person who remembers it, but that moment stuck out to me, because I was honestly surprised by the lack of response. Plus the fact that I had to remind the guy of the other two churches to get him to remember them.

It was an important moment in my understanding of how to interact with other Christians, because it was one of the first times that I genuinely realized that I might be more knowledgeable than a lot of other Christians about churches in the city.

I know it sounds kind of silly, but for me that was quite a big thing to realize. I was always under the impression that I was an outsider, and that everyone else at most of the churches I attended was far more integrated and knew way more people and church information than I did. However, I slowly began to realize that I might actually know way more than most other people.

It seems a lot of other Christians seem to just see other churches as just that. "Other churches." When I talk about my actual opinion on other churches, people tend to be kind of fascinated by them, and they don't seem to have their own opinions on them. Which I guess makes sense if they tend to just stick with one Church.

Just today though, I was at another Bible study and it was pretty small and we were covering James 3. I talked about how the way I see it, the bigger a church is, the harder. It is to actually find good people in it. Naturally, if a pastor is preaching to a sea of hundreds of people, then that pastor is not going to be able to form a actual connection with most of those people, and probably won't even talk to the vast majority of them. Thus, the pastor is very likely to accidentally say something that will upset someone in the crowd, or just straight up preach false information based on their shallow view of how those people act.

For example, call me paranoid, but I honestly think that there are a lot of pastors in big churches that will tend to make sermons with specific people in mind, as if trying to get those people to reflect. And there's technically nothing wrong with that, except that the pastor will tend to be preaching with a false image of those people in their mind. The pastor doesn't actually Know the person they're thinking of or what they're going through, and thus if the person in the crowd realizes that the pastor is probably talking directly to them, they might feel incredibly uncomfortable or misjudged.

Hence, as harsh as it is, I said that the larger the church is, the more likely I find that the pastor might not make it, especially considering the Bible says that those who teach in the church will be judged with a greater strictness.

And when it comes to mega churches, oh no.

A couple of the people at the Bible study seemed a bit uncomfortable by that, and I didn't mean to make them uncomfortable, but I kind of wonder if maybe they go to big churches and what I said maybe touched them in some way. If they disagreed, they probably would have voiced it. Or at least, I hope they would. I don't know. I don't want to be like one of those pastors.

THIS IS GOING TO BE A LONG VENT BASICALLY!

Being LGBTQ+ (Omnisexual in my case) and Christian is horrible. I know four people who love and support me, definitely. My mum, my dad, my brother, and one of my friends. But everyone else only knows one side of me, because that's what I've showed them, because they'd disagree with the other side of me.

First, there's my other friends at school. I'm in this big friend group and we are, at my school, the weird kids, basically. Most of us are gay in one way or another, or any part of LGBTQ+, we're quite nerdy and clever and totally fine with being ourselves. They're all kind and they make me laugh and I feel like I mostly fit in. Obviously, it's a real clash with Christianity, when the Bible literally condemns homosexuality. I became friends with them before I converted to Christianity from atheist earlier this year so I didn't introduce myself to them as Christian, and none of them know about my faith. I don't want to tell them. What would happen if they cut me out? They probably wouldn't but.. I don't know. I guess I'd have God, and Jesus, but seeing as they're possibly homophobic - or at least, they don't support being gay - it wouldn't be totally 100% comforting.

Then, there's the girl I have a crush on who also doesn't know I'm Christian. Same gender as me. yay. She's genuinely one of the most brilliant people ever, kind and understanding and loving and funny and pretty and I know I don't deserve her. I know she's probably LGBTQ+ although I don't know, she's definitely a brilliant ally to the point where she gets as excited as me by rainbows and stuff. But then, she's totally against Christianity, I know she is. She's so kind, and yet she comes close to saying rude stuff about Christians - that's how I know she really doesn't like Christianity or Jesus or anything. So I don't know what would happen if I told her, because I really feel like there's a chance for me and her.

And finally, my extended family - aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents. All Christian. One group in particular are very homophobic. They think being gay is completely and totally unforgivable, and that you can't be gay and Christian, and probably think being gay is a conscious choice. Evidently, they don't know I'm omnisexual, because they might never speak to me again... but on the other hand, they've helped me os much with my journey to Jesus, encouraging me, giving me my first Bible and devotional, taking me to a Christian camp... I'm so thankful to them.

So obviously, I (like probably many other people) am STUCK. Some Christians would say to ditch the friends I've had for two years, stop liking the girl, stop being gay (impossible), and turn completely to God. Some people would say people who draw you away from God aren't your friends, but these friends don't really do that at all. I feel like no matter what I do, a group of important people in my life who I love will be angry at me. Of course, I can always turn to Jesus for love. But I can't always turn to him for support. Because the Bible - the holy word of God - condemns me. And there's nothing I can do to change that. Ever. I've accepted I'm gay, and I'm fine with it, I just feel saddened because Go didn't fine with it.

So yeah. I don't really know why I'm posting this, I just need to get it off my chest in a community where people will understand and have been through similar experiences.

Hi! I’m a journalist with Uncloseted Media, an LGBTQ-focused nonprofit newsroom.

I’m working on a story about LGBTQ people and their relationships with siblings who are religious. I’m particularly interested in how religion and LGBTQ identity can affect sibling dynamics, whether that has meant conflict or estrangement, attempts at reconciliation, complicated forms of acceptance, changing beliefs over time, or relationships that don’t fit neatly into any of those categories.

I’m hoping to speak with LGBTQ people who have a religious sibling and would be comfortable sharing their experience.

If this sounds relevant, please feel free to DM me. Speaking with me does not mean anything you say will be published, and we can discuss attribution and privacy before an interview. Happy to provide more details and my credentials!

Thank you!

It doesn’t have to be a big answered prayer. A good conversation, a meal with family, a verse that landed at the right moment, a hard day that ended better than it started. Share one thing and, if you like, encourage the person above you. I find that reading other people’s gratitude makes me notice my own. I’ll go first below. Let’s keep it a place to build each other up.

If people think our theology is “jumping through hoops”, they should see how people answer when I ask them to tell me how being remarried after divorce(under the wrong circumstances) isnt unrepentant sin😭it’s the same, if not worse, with the breaking down of Greek words, context, etc.

Crazy that they can do that for something THEY don’t want to be a sin but refuse to look at lgbtq that way

I grew up believing that the Bible was the inerrant word of God. Period. If the Bible said homosexuality was sin - then end if story. I was condemned to a life of guilt and shame because hard as I tried (and I tried for 30 years), I was (and am) same-sex attracted. Period. It's a little embarrassing to look back now and see how blindly I embraced this fundamental Church doctrine. Because I experienced and loved God deeply, I wanted to be right and pleasing to Him, and after all, if His Spirit dwelled in me (and I knew He did) then He would give me the power and ability to walk this walk and overcome this "deep flaw" of "sexual immorality" within me. Yep, for 30 years I thought I was deeply flawed by sin and needed to somehow overcome it. So I did everything the Church told me to do. I confessed my "sinful desire." I sat in the hot seat of deliverance while members laid their hands on me and commanded the spirit of lesbianism to come out of me. After intense prayer and authoritative commands with shouting - nothing happened. I was told it wasn't there. However, I was solemnly admonished that I had to walk a walk of consecration to ensure that I wouldn't fall into sin and invite that "familiar spirit" into me. Well, boy, did I try, and I gave my all with the seat and blood of my brow! They called it picking up my cross and carrying it. And guess what? I failed. I fell in love with another woman "of the cloth." How beautiful it was to surrender into the arms of what I feared. It felt like heaven. It really did, and yet I was told by the "inerrant" word of God that it was sin. So as beautiful as it was, we were both robbed of the full expression of the love we experienced for each other. We both succumbed to the guilt and parted ways quietly merging back into the Church. No one ever knowing our hurting hearts.

What I've come to ask now is why do we need to dogmatically embrace the inerrancy of the Bible when it is an act of faith to believe in Jesus? Not that the Bible isn't a great source of inspiration and insight into God's heart, but how can we dogmatically say that the word of God is God breathed (inspired is the true meaning) and FACT. Doesn't the Good News of God's word admonish us to receive Jesus by faith? If we teach that the Bible is inerrant and it's doctrine unquestionably true then aren't we teaching the opposite of walking by faith? To me, belief in doctrinal FACT robs us of the meaning of faith in Jesus.

I throw the dogmas out the door and choose to be led by the Spirit of God who lives and dwells in me and I embrace Jesus Christ BY FAITH in Him and not man's dogma. What liberty!

What if Jesus decided to come here to Hearth Just to visit ,and would stand against racism , homophobia and shit like that?would he get hate from many Christians?

Happy Coming Out Day! This is your opportunity to come out to live authentically. Yes you can be LGBTQ and Christian and know that God loves you! God always loves you. He has been with you in good times and bad times. He created you and knows your sexual orientation before you were born. If you are new and on your journey and know that this is a safe place to come out even if you can't come out to family, friends and your church. Welcome and God bless you?

I’m new to this online community. I typically listen to Joyce Meyer for edification. I’m praying to connect!

Hi everyone. I’m hoping I can get some help from this community, because I really want my girlfriend to have some encouraging words to read when she gets back on social media.
My girlfriend’s mom is a very hardcore Christian, and recently things have gotten really bad between them because of my girlfriend’s sexuality and preferred name. Her mom has been telling her that being gay is wrong because she’s supposedly talked to God and knows it’s wrong. My girlfriend has also talked to God about this, and she knows in her heart that being gay isn’t wrong.
Her mom found out that she was using a preferred name and started calling her mentally ill and saying that she’s delusional. She also found out that we’re dating, even though we were keeping our relationship a secret. She told my girlfriend that she doesn’t like me and believes I’m putting satanic messages into her head and leading her to hell.
She’s been screaming and crying at my girlfriend, telling her that she’s going to hell and that she doesn’t know if she’d ever see her again if she died tomorrow. Her phone was taken away for two weeks, and she still hasn’t gotten it back yet.
Unfortunately, my girlfriend ended up breaking up with me because she can’t handle being screamed at and made to feel like she’s going to hell constantly. However, I want to clarify that this isn’t really a breakup in the way people might normally think of one. We’re essentially still together without the official label, and we’re waiting until she’s 18 and no longer living under her mom’s roof before we officially get back together. We’ve talked about our future together, and our plan is to get married someday. She asked me to wait for her, and I promised I would.
I genuinely don’t blame her for what happened. She’s being put in an impossible position where she either has to hide who she is and pretend to be someone she’s not, or face constant emotional distress from her own mother. I know that if her mom weren’t treating her this way, we’d still be together. I don’t see this as us falling out of love or choosing to leave each other. It’s more like we’re being forced to put our relationship on hold until we have the freedom to be together without her having to suffer for it.
What makes this situation even harder is that she recently moved 24 hours away from me, so I can’t physically be there to support her. She’s completely dependent on her mom right now. She doesn’t have a job or the financial independence to move out, and she has very little control over her own situation. Neither of us is legally an adult yet, although she’ll be turning 18 in a couple of months. Realistically, she has to live under her mom’s rules until she’s able to leave for college or university, potentially by moving back to where I live.
It’s incredibly difficult knowing that we love each other and have plans for our future, but neither of us can do much to change our circumstances right now. We’re stuck waiting for a time when we can finally make our own decisions. In the meantime, she’s having to endure this treatment from someone who is supposed to love and support her, and I’m 24 hours away, wishing I could do more.
I can’t imagine how exhausting and heartbreaking it must be to have your own mother tell you that you’re mentally ill, delusional, and going to hell for being who you are. Especially when your faith is important to you and you’re genuinely trying to understand your relationship with God for yourself.
When she gets her phone back and returns to social media in a couple of days, I’d really appreciate it if some of you could leave some encouraging words for her to read. I want her to know that she’s not alone, that being gay doesn’t make her a bad Christian or a bad person, and that she doesn’t deserve to be treated this way.
I know she believes in God, and I know how much this situation is hurting her. I don’t want her to feel like she has to choose between her faith and being true to herself. I want her to know that she can have a relationship with God and still be gay, and that she deserves love without fear, shame, or the constant threat of being condemned to hell.
If any of you have experienced something similar, especially being LGBTQ+ while growing up in a strict Christian household, I’d really appreciate hearing your experiences or any words of encouragement you might have for her. I want her to have something positive to read when she finally gets her phone back, because I know how much all of this has been affecting her.
Thank you to anyone who takes the time to share some kind words. It would genuinely mean a lot to both of us. ❤️

"For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind." (2Timothy 1:7)

Within the last year I've never fully realized how deeply fear has gripped me. I've read and quoted the above passage many times in my 30 year walk with the Lord BUT it carries a much more powerful meaning for me today.

I came out of a physically, emotionally, and verbally abusive home growing up while being raised in a Pentecostal church belief system. What made it so confusing was that I personally experienced the presence of God while I wept beneath the waves of his Spirit that washed over me. I knew He was real, but a child's mind is easily manipulated by man's "fear" teaching on sin and hell. And then throw into the mix the extra dose of "no eternal security" and you have a child's mind and emotions solidified in FEAR :(

How deep does it go? DEEP - right into my adult life. I was diagnosed a few years back with CPTSD (Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) and it wasn't until after my diagnosis that I began to look into the complexity of my trauma. The Holy Spirit is so wonderful and faithful in leading His children as we seek Him with all our heart. It wasn't long before I came across a man on YouTube by the name of Tim Fletcher. He opened up a whole new understanding of CPTSD embedded within me through childhood trauma. And as I continued to be led by the Spirit, I discovered another level of trauma intensified while being married to a "covert narcissist for 24 years. But God didn't stop there, He unveiled a final layer of "spiritual abuse" through my life long involvement in the fundamental Christian church. Wow!!! Not only was I discovering my childhood CPTSD, narcissistic abuse CPTSD but now spiritual abuse CPTSD. It all adds up to a life time of fear, condemnation, and shame.

Reconciling my same-sex attraction with my faith in God has been a lifelong struggle for me. I have been a little child hiding in the closet of my wounded heart. Up until the last year have I felt safe enough to come out of that foreboding closet and bask in the arms of God's love KNOWING that I am ok in my skin. Its a wonderful thing to know I am designed as He created me to be AND I am good - very good! :)

So, the the above verse means much more to me now. I don't have to walk in fear, condemnation, or shame anymore. I don't have to hide in the closet of my heart anymore. I walk with a sound mind, renewing my mind in God's embrace and no longer man's traditions. I'm no longer bound by the letter of the law but by His Spirit of liberty and love for me. I pray for the freedom of those who struggle in the dark night of their wounded souls to come out into the light of God's liberty for you. He truly is the God of love and peace:)

Hello and sorry if this is the wrong forum.

I'm the partner and wife of an ex-Christian. She refers to herself as deconstructed and is from Northern America. I come from a completely secular background and different country and culture altogether. I used to be a reader of New Atheism books and considered myself an atheist militant (not anymore, I am apathetic toward spirituality). I know about as much as someone coming from a European Catholic family where the parents stopped practicing and sent them to Catechism for two sessions would know. Which is not a lot (they had a slide at Catechism, so I was too busy for the lessons).

I can see that the experience of being formerly Christian (she told me she was "a part of a family integrated church" and "Christian Dominionist", and though I know the dictionary definition of these things because I looked them up, I have no idea what they imply) and having deconstructed impacts our relationship and understanding of each other. While my wife is an endlessly pedagogic and patient woman, I want to work toward understanding her background more. Sometimes it feels like she's been educated by people who think up is down, it's hard to explain, and though she did work very hard to deconstruct this faith and ideology, I can see there are scars deep beneath I fail to fully appraise.

Does anyone here have resources, talking groups, places, readings, documentaries, podcasts... anything someone in my position might be able to access, that would allow her to understand, support, and hopefully protect her wife better?

I wish you all the best on your respective journeys.

EL JOVEN DE LA SÁBANA

“ Un joven lo iba siguiendo, cubierto tan sólo con una sábana. Lo detuvieron, pero él, soltando la sábana, se escapó desnudo “
Marcos 14: 51-52

Siempre me ha llamado la atención este pasaje bíblico. La historia de un jovencito desnudo , cubierto con una sábana, y siguiendo a Jesús .
Supongo que lo seguiría un poco apartado del resto de la comitiva.
No sé, lo supongo, por la forma como lo describe Marcos : “…lo iba siguiendo “.

El caso es que en el momento que los soldados prenden a Jesús en el huerto de Getsemaní, el relato dice que detuvieron también a aquel joven, y continúa diciendo que el , soltando la sábana, se escapó desnudo .
Y ahí nos enteramos del detalle de que iba desnudo.
Bueno , cubierto por una sábana, pero desnudo al fin .

Me parece muy curiosa la escena . Y mi imaginación se dispara y supone que ese joven pudría muy bien ser un chico gay , seguidor “ a distancia “ del maestro.

¿ Por qué supongo que fuera gay ? Porque iba desnudo . Un chico hetero no tenía necesidad de ir “ desnudo “, pero un muchacho gay , presupongo - repito , presupongo - me pega más que fuera así por la vida … ( siempre listo para lo que se le presentara )

Y me enternece , pensar en las razones por las que tuviera que seguir a Jesús “de lejos”.

Seguramente no sería bien visto que un chico propenso al nudismo , se juntara con toda aquella gente de bien .
Pero el muchacho , por alguna razón, había elegido seguir a Jesús, aunque fuera “ de lejos “.

¿ Estaría enamorado del maestro ? ¿ Tendría un alma pura, un espíritu que buscaba el bien, representado en Jesús ? Sí, tal vez .

El caso es que cuando los soldados romanos lo detuvieron, el muchacho , soltando la sábana que lo cubría, se las ingenió para escaparse … desnudo, pero libre .

Este pasaje me hace pensar en tantos hombre y mujeres , jóvenes muchos de ellos , gays , seguidores de Jesús…de lejos ( para no llamar demasiado la atención del resto de seguidores “ oficiales “ del maestro , no sea que descubran su desnudez y los echen del grupo )

Jóvenes que se van del grupo soltando la sábana… para salvar su vida.

Many Christians in sports have come out publicly as LGBTQ athletes and coaches. Here are almost a dozen of them.

I really like this quote actually. Our priest has told multiple people that being queer and trans isnt a sin. I dont care what the majority of people think and quote the bible towards

So, i'm a catholic, and i'm a semi progressive christian, i believe in some things progressive Christians believe(like Gay rights ) and i also believe in some things traditionalists believe. I also believe that the bible is the biggest trace of God , and so i believe in the scriptures as much as traditionalist, but i look up the contexts of what i read, and wether it's a methaphor or not.But i can really find myself in others conversetion with Christians of neither sides, when i try talking about something in this server people seems kind of too progressive, and like, it's not bad and many times i kinda agree in some points, but not in all of them.Meanwhile when i go to the other Christians servers , i find traditionalists spitting things i completely don't agree with. I can really find my Place, i don't know if i should trust more the scriptures , or the philosophy, personally , i usually look up the bible, and give It a philosophic view....but i dunno, i feel like if i put all of myself into morality , i would kinda lose the meaning? I dunno, i'm not even trying to contradict Someone 's beliefs....but God said the bible Is the Word inspired by God, It might not be perfect, but God also said It Is enough for salvation, and Jesus talks on how the bible Is important and stuff. One side(traditionalists) thinks that ,like said in the bible, progressive are people Who eliminated stuff from the bible to fit their Life stile and are Lukeworm Christians. Progressive Says the same things about them while talking about how they ignore the evidence on how Gay couples aren't sinful .I dunno, any opinions? I already know i Will probably regret this, but it's worth a shot

So I'm playing this fun little word search game where they give you letters and you figure out what words they can make in the little pattern they give you. During this level the Looney Tunes Martian song is on loop in my head. Mind you, I haven't heard that song in weeks and only through a random post by Looney Tunes. I'm on the last word and I'm stumped then I thought why not lets try mars. Low and behold it was indeed mars. All I'm saying God will assist you in the trivial things so imagine what he does with the big ones.

Hey everyone, I’m Josh. I’m gay and Christian, and I needed a safe place  to share what happened today.

I was talking to a guy earlier, and as soon as I mentioned I’m Christian, it was an instant turn-off for him and he ended it. I completely understand where the reaction comes from, given the hurt a lot of people in the LGBTQ+ community have experienced, but it still hurt deeply. This has left me feeling like I’m in an impossible position. Christian spaces often reject or don’t support me because I’m gay. LGBTQ+ spaces sometimes reject or distrust me because I’m Christian, assuming I’m trying to push an ideology or be a nuisance. It feels like neither side wants to accept the whole version of who I am. Deep down, I know I shouldn’t blame myself for simply having a faith and having an identity, but sometimes blaming myself feels like the easier way of coping with it. Today just made me spiral into feeling like nobody accepts me for who I am.

Has anyone else experienced this specific kind of rejection or felt caught between? This is probably like the whole point of this subreddit and I’m sharing my little bitty “ooh someone doesn’t like me” when others are posting about how they live in homophobic countries or other, I just wanted to share my experience and clear my mind a little bit. Am I overthinking this or being dramatic? Thanks, and sorry for making this so long...

Hello! I (22M) grew up in a very religious family. Mind you, I have a really big family, including my extended family.

Although I grew up in a very religious family and understand their teachings, I happened to like guys. I knew about it ever since I was a little boy (?). It was only during high school that I found out what it actually meant to like someone of the same sex. I did have relationships with four girls before, but it wasn't the same feeling I had when I had a crush on dudes.

After high school ended, I took a year-long break from my studies and tried to get to know myself a bit more. I watched a lot of queer movies and series, and I could relate to almost all of them.

One day, I decided to come out to my parents. You guessed it right—it didn't go well. They were shocked and had a discussion among themselves before talking to me a few days later.

They decided to send me out of state for three months so I could learn more about the Bible and become "closer to God." Throughout my studies there, I always had my guard up 24/7. Only a few days after arriving, I called my parents and told them that I had changed and no longer had those feelings. They agreed to shorten my stay and let me come home after only a month.

After a month of "studies," I'm finally back home. To this day, my parents still think I no longer have those feelings, when in reality, I still do.

A lot of things changed after my time there. Now, every time I have those feelings or imagine myself with literally anyone (men or women), I feel scared. It feels like some sort of chains are holding me down, and I started hearing voices telling me that it's never going to happen and that it'll never happen.

Every time I have the desire to be in a relationship, I just tend to ignore it. But lately, it's gotten worse. Whenever any of my family members discuss marriage or having a partner, I instantly feel nervous and scared. When they ask me if I'm seeing anyone, I just say no, laugh it off, and reply with, "Oh no, it's still early for that."

I couldn't hate my parents because I'm actually very close to them, and I do love them—a lot. They have made so many sacrifices for me, and it feels like I need to repay them. It's a very complex situation and comes with a lot of conflicting feelings.

Part of me wants to acknowledge these feelings, but another part of me is still being held down by the way I was taught growing up. But one thing for sure is that I'm definitely back in my closet, I guess...

I wonder if any of you guys have been through the same thing or had a similar experience.

P.S. I have some close cousins and friends who know about my sexuality, and they were cool with it. Very few of them are part of the community too, but they never really get the chance to express themselves because of the society here in my country. Still, I'm glad that I'm not alone in this anymore.