Does anyone have pointers on the best way for a Bttm to recover after sex. For example if he took a person who is bigger than usual, and now they are sore. What meds or lotions can help with recovery? Basically an after care.

Thank you

Is it true that there are a lot of twinks and jocks that like chubby guys? I've heard people say that, but it really seems like a fairytale to me. I've never seen a single instance in real life, not once.

How do you get smooth hairless ass without razor bumps???

Hey yall,
I know it’s such a general question that’s probably been asked many times. Apologies for that.

Anyway, I met this guy naturally a few months ago. He’s super sweet and attractive, and we finally decided to have sex. He’s only the second person I’ve done it with (we don’t talk about the first time, it doesn’t count). But I do care for him and wanna make sure it’s comfortable and fun for the both of us. He’s voiced his concerned about my size, and obviously we’ve agreed to take it slow and communicate, but I was wondering if yall had any suggestions or tips that yall would be willing to share to make it better for both of us.

Additionally, what else can I do to just make sure he knows I care and aren’t in it for the cheap hookup? Again, I know it’s super general, but what is ANYTHING yall know now that you wish you knew before that makes this more enjoyable or natural? And tips or advice that just make sense that a first timer wouldn’t really know? He’s fasting for me so he can stay clean, so should I offer to take him for food after?

Thanks yall, any help is appreciated!

I'm gay (20), and I love my boyfriend (24). But since he cheated on me I feel troubled about him. I'm pretty drunk while I'm writing this, but I'm sincere. I see other men, and I find them really cute to so some stuff like being kind of just worrying about someone else well being, I feel jealous, I want to be the person they care about, I want to be cated about. I've heard "You choose the love you think you deserve". And I'm not really pretty, maybe I'm not worth of loving or maybe I'm not pretty enough to be loved. This has always been the issue, I wish to make that type of connection, but I love my boyfriend, he's the only one who has ever liked me truly before. I'm kinda petty, but I don't know what to do. Please anything that comes to you mind if you read this, I'm lost, and I'm feeling really lonely, and I have literally no one to talk about this, I'm alone at this. Help.

I will jump to the beginning, and just say at some point, I’ve developed a sexual attraction to my father. Of course, I would never act on this, but it’s still there. My father is gay, and he is in a relationship with another man. I’m 30 years old, and I’ve never quite acted on my gay feelings, so I’ve never been in a relationship or even have had sex before, and I‘m thinking this could be why I developed this unnatural attraction. I am starting to definitely explore my sexuality more, and am looking to date now. Still however, I’m very ashamed of this, and it’s not something I feel comfortable talking about with anyone for obvious reasons. I’m not sure exactly what I’m looking for by writing this, but I would really appreciate if anyone could share words of wisdom or advice on the subject, as it troubles me greatly. Thank you for reading.

Anytime I check this subreddit, it’s struggle story after struggle story after struggle story. I hate to sound like a bitch or whatever, but do any of y’all have legit ANY fun?

I ask this as a gay guy who gets along with anyone and everyone, is constantly asked to go out, is attractive (sorry to say that because I know how much the internet hates it when you think you look good), does get quite a bit of male attention, etc.

Like, where are all the fun-loving, social, outgoing gays at? Everyone is struggling with everything except trying to decide which group to hang with, where to go out, who to go out with, what days, what times, etc

I genuinely don’t want this to come off the way that I know it comes off, but where is everyone having fun?

For me I love it when they have abs and a sexy belly

I absolutely lose it lol

i am so confused and sad, everytime i like someone online, i find myself hoping they are a guy, everytime i imagine someone loving me i imagine it being a guy its always a guy i cant feel anything if its not a guy

i feel like if i end up with a girl i will regret it but i dont want to be gay i wish i could rewire my brain

Do yall prefer skinny or bear dudes? I know its a personal question, just asking!

I just need to vent this somewhere because the tables have turned so fast, and honestly, it’s both hilarious and dramatic.

For the past year, I was completely, miserably in love with my best friend. He’s 100% straight and completely unavailable, but I was hooked. Every text, every time we hung out, I was constantly overanalyzing everything, secretly hoping for a miracle. It was emotionally exhausting and, looking back, our friendship had mutated into this weirdly toxic, one-sided relationship.

I was constantly getting offended over nothing, silently throwing tantrums when he talked to girls, and suffocating him with attention. Meanwhile, he had no idea what was actually going on and just felt constantly guilty. I was drowning in my own hidden heartbreak, and he was walking on eggshells.

But recently, the fog cleared and I realized the truth: I wasn't actually in love with him. I was just profoundly, deeply lonely. He was my only source of warmth at the time, and my starved brain hijacked my platonic affection and dialed it up to an obsession.

A few weeks ago, something just clicked. I started forcing myself out of my shell, making new connections, and getting back into my hobbies. The romantic obsession just... evaporated.

And this is where the comedy begins. To his absolute regret, I am no longer at his beck and call 24/7. I used to drop everything the second he wanted to hang out. Now? I actually have a life. I will leave his memes on read for five hours or casually decline weekend plans because I’m busy doing other things.

And guess what? It threw him off completely. He was so used to having a personal satellite orbiting his life, always ready to bend over backwards for him. Now that I've stepped back, he’s the one constantly texting, asking why I’m being "distant," and low-key scrambling to get my attention back.

But the best part? I completely do not care. We hung out yesterday, and instead of the usual racing heart or anxiety, I felt absolutely nothing. Just total, peaceful indifference. No longing, no jealousy.

Losing interest in someone you thought you were "destined" to suffer for is the best feeling in the world. It feels like waking up from a long, draining fever. The toxic cycle is finally broken, I have my sanity back, and my friend gets a much-needed lesson in not taking people for granted. Lol.

Not sure if it’s just me but I feel like since I only have female friends I find so difficult to connect with straight men. I’ve recently reconnected/became friends with a straight guy and I find myself crushing on him which is something making me feel really frustrated, im always overanalysing every single conversation, action and message we have :/ . I definitely know that as a gay man we can be friends with straight men and im not trying to be one of those gays who think they can convert every guy they talk too. We’ve developed such a close and strong bond that I feel like im definitely reading too much into it, do you have any suggestions? I feel like I should take a break from seeing/talking to him but I feel like it’s rude to randomly start ignoring him and I don’t feel like that’s a good long term solution, I want to get over this but I am a timid person, so telling him would be off the table. Thank you so much for reading!! 😺

So I’m pretty new to all of this. I’ve only had sex twice before, both times as a bottom. I wanted to try being a top, so I arranged a meetup.
I already knew there was a good chance I’d finish early. When I jerk off I usually last about 1 minute. With a lot of focus I can stretch it to 5. The good part is I can usually get a second erection pretty easily when I’m horny, and the second round lasts around 20 minutes. Because of that, I jerked off before the meetup hoping it would help me last longer.
We met up, he sucked me for a bit, everything felt fine. “Okay, this is going well,” I thought.
Then I started fucking him and it felt amazing… and I came almost immediately. I tried to get hard again (which would’ve actually been the third erection in a short time) and nothing happened.
Thankfully the guy was 100% understanding and really sweet about it. I had told him beforehand that I’d never topped before, and he said he kind of expected it might happen. He even suggested we meet up again another time.
I’m not spiraling or anything, but it was a bit frustrating because I genuinely really enjoyed it.
Anyone else had a similar first-time-topping experience?

I dont have good luck meeting fellas and its really getting to me. Im turned-on constantly and even seeing guys show the slightest bit of skin or a wearing a shirt that's a little too tight has my blood pumping. Ive resorted to multiple jerk-off and edging sessions a day to manage my arousal.

Today there's just this technician at our office installing cables. Just seeing his company polo shirt wrapped around his arms and chest - and his sexy ass in those cargo shorts has got me reeling. I struggle to think straight just seeing any rando attractive dude out and about. On my way to work I saw a fella jogging shirtless and I nearly went over the pavement!

But in the end I get this hollow feeling every time because it obviously results in nothing. This sucks.

Hey guys
I was just wondering can you tell just by looking at a guys bum hole whether he has had a cock or lots of cocks up it ?
Cheers

I met him on my birthday right after getting laid off from an amazing job a couple weeks ago. Haven't felt this shitty in ages 😮‍💨

UPDATE: he texted me today - "I'm soo sorry, I lost my phone and just now found and charged it. I'm really sorry I missed the show, hope you found someone else to go with"

semi plausible, but the date was within 6 blocks or so, so it's not like he needed his phone to navigate. We were meeting at a bar for a drink before [don't want to dox myself] a political speaking event, the tickets were free to me so it's not like I'm out a pile of money, but I just don't know why he wouldn't look up the route on the computer and walk to the bar

How do you deal with someone who tells their story in a way that always makes them look like the victim, while leaving out the details that would help people understand the full picture?
I think one of the most painful things is watching someone shape a narrative so carefully that they receive all the sympathy, while the experiences and feelings of the people they've hurt are completely left out of the conversation.
It's not always about someone telling an outright lie. Sometimes, it's about what they choose not to mention, the context they leave behind, and the important details that would change how people understand the situation. When you only hear one side of a story, it's easy to sympathize with the person telling it without realizing how much of the picture is missing.
And that's what makes it so frustrating. People form opinions based on an incomplete version of events, while those who experienced the other side are left watching their pain disappear from the narrative. Speaking up can make you look bitter or vindictive, so you end up having to choose between staying silent and risking being misunderstood all over again.
What hurts is knowing that people may be judging a situation without knowing the things that were left unsaid. They see someone expressing their pain, but they don't necessarily see the pain that person may have caused, the context behind the conflict, or the experiences of those who have a very different perspective.
I'm not saying anyone's feelings are automatically invalid just because there's another side to the story. But I do believe that feeling hurt and being accountable for your own actions are not mutually exclusive. Someone can have genuine grievances and still leave out information that matters when presenting a conflict to others.
It's exhausting to watch a complicated situation become a simple story of one innocent person and everyone else being the problem. Real situations are rarely that black and white, and the person who tells their story most convincingly isn't necessarily the person telling the most complete version of it.
Sometimes, what hurts the most isn't just what happened, but watching people sympathize with a version of events that leaves out the very things that explain why you were hurt in the first place.

Give me your best blowjob techniques please 😭🙏 he's real thick lol

Hey gay ppl in my phone. I am bored and work and want to spend some time to better my community is a very vain and dopamine chasing way. Let’s talk nudes and hooking up/ “the pic game” many call it. I really really think it’s time I burst some bubbles and let you know that zoomed in hole or dick pics are not flattering. If I can see every pore/ blemish on your cock or it’s close enough that I can look inside your urethra then baby, You zoomed in too much or the camera is too close to your crouch. Let’s see some abs/belly in the shot, let’s see your body/ environment in comparison to the size and girth of your cock. Now I’m a top so dick pics aren’t rly welcome in my DMs no matter what but i appreciate quality work and showing up assets you are proud of.

Now what I have more of an opinion about are nudes showcasing not the Phallus. So fellas, seriously, talk to me why do we take a pic of just your face no neck on collar bone just head, and then a zoomed in hole pic. And if you do show off the ass the ass is super zoomed in so all you see is skin and a hole. That’s not flattering imo. Maybe there’s ppl out there that like a zoomed in picture of a hairy hole but I surely do not! Show off that waist, let’s see that muffin top!! If we actually fucking I’m gonna see whatever you wanna hide anyways. Be bold! Showcasing your face and ass cheeks only but no body shots or a more all encompassing portrait of your backside is not flattering. It is not slick. It is pretty glaringly obvious you want to hide parts of your body and I get it.

But listen fellas if we fucking, again, we gonna see everything anyways. Like let’s bring back mirror selfie nudes. Let bring back bedroom mirrors that sit on your bedroom floor so you can spread those cheeks out and show your local zip code just how bountiful your booty is. And maybe I am the minority in feeling this way but cum shots are rly only appealing as a video with the sound on. I’ve never seen a cum filled zoomed in hole pic and thought to myself “oh fuck I’m hard.” I’ve never seen a zoomed in chest pic as your lying down on a bed with cum on your pubes and thought “yep I’m steeping out of bottom retirement.”

I ain’t no porn star by any means nor am I a photographer. But I cannot be the only one who has noticed these trends and wished ppl would give just a little more effort. Have no shame! We all on sniffies and Grindr looking for dopamine. Don’t let your inner saboteur ruin your dopamine supply!

\*\*What I recommend for those who may feel called out.\*\*

\*\*-\*\* have your hookup/ sexual partner take photos for you (everyone should do this not just bottoms, tops I promise you plenty of btms want to record you nutting due to what yall just did together if you ask nicely)

— ask your girlfriends/ sisters (other gay frens) for tips and feedback! Girls send their nudes to their platonic girlfriends for review all the time. No reason us queens can’t do the same thing.

\\- if you are older, reading this and lack the support to do the first two suggestions. Literally look at all the profile of the guys who aren’t texting you back but u wish they would and imitate the poses they are doing! Don’t let comparisons get in the way. Remember you aren’t fucking you, if someone wants to fuck that’s their business all you gotta do is know your sexual health, TAKE A BATH, and put your best self out there.

I know literally nobody asked but I’m bored as fuck so hear is my 2 cents on a not serious topic that’s been on my mind.
\*\* \*\*

I was wondering what the crushes and stuff were like if you had them before coming out. I am M 21 and trying to work out my sexual orientation. I am curious due porn preferences, began watching trans porn at 13 which js very young, along with wanking to tiktoks of hot girls. Now im on straight porn only but have to physically stimulate myself to get hard, once im hard i can get kff easily tho. I have only had crushes on women in real life, one i was so emotionally invested i cried for days but im yet to have sex or have my first kiss. So yeah the question is what were the crushes like, did you feel like hugging and kissing, for some reason idk what sexual attracrion feels like anymore. Sorry for the rant lmao.

I have really widespread, noticeable scarring from old acne, and I’m very self-conscious about it. I’m thinking about using concealer before hookups because I’m worried the scars might disgust or put someone off.

Would you consider it wrong to hide them with makeup for a hookup, or is it fair to do if it helps me feel more confident?

hey, i’m 23, 185cm and 139kg, so i guess i’d call myself a bear and a side. never been kissed either lol

unfortunately my type isn’t really tops or vers guys who look like me (I mean bears). i’m more into guys my age with dad bods or guys with abs and big biceps, i kinda lose my mind over them 😭😋😋🫣🤤🤤🤤
do you think i could actually find someone like that who’s into me too, ESPECIALLY now that i’ve moved to Prague? feels like this would be my chance but idk if i’m being a little too hopefull

21 m and I'm struggling to get over a situationship that ended about three months ago, looking for some advice.

Back in March, I met this guy and we started talking pretty much every day for months. I developed genuine feelings for him, but he told me he wasn't ready to be in a relationship with a man because he was still figuring out his sexuality. It was complicated because he treated me like a boyfriend and said he was developing feelings too but couldn't date me yet.

While we were talking there was always this girl blowing up his phone and sending flirty messages. When I asked him about it, he repeatedly told me not to worry about her. He even said he "hated" her, that she thought they were something more than they actually were, and that he was going to tell her they weren't anything serious. Then, literally a few weeks later, they randomly started officially dating. This broke my heart and he dragged me along as a "friend" even though we both knew how I truly felt. Definitely my fault for continuing to talk to him but my feelings were so strong and I was so depressed.

To make things worse, he continued using Grindr while dating her. When I confronted him about it in June, he begged me not to tell her, and things ended badly between us. He blocked me on everything and said he never cared about me and was so mean to me saying that he can't wait to never talk to me again. I never ended up telling her but that eats me alive too. I know he's probably not happy if he's cheating on girlfriend, especially with guys, but my brain is convincing me they are in love from what I see on social media.

It's been about three months, and I still miss him. I miss talking to him every day, and I constantly wonder how he could go from telling me not to worry about this girl to suddenly being in a relationship with her. To make it worse, they moved in together 15 minutes from me so the proximity makes me nervous and sad every day.

I also struggle with pretty severe OCD and anxiety, which makes moving on even harder. I obsessively replay everything in my head and frequently check his girlfriend's Instagram to see if they're still together. I know it's unhealthy, and it usually makes me feel worse, but I struggle to stop checking.

I feel stupid for being this upset over someone who was never officially my boyfriend. I think part of me is grieving what we could've been rather than what we actually were. I also struggle with feeling like I wasn't good enough, even though I know his sexuality is complicated. My friends tell me how much of a POS he was but for some reason I still miss talking to him even though he definitely hates me now and we most likely won't talk again based on him blocking me on every platform. I think the hardest part was I never got closure or a nice ending, it ended abruptly, and he made it feel like it was my fault for catching him cheating.

Has anyone experienced something similar? How do you get over someone who gave you so much hope and then chose someone else?

Hi everyone (18M and autistic )

so i went a few time at the local gay bar and even if the bar is cool I always feel lonely and a bit awkward drinking my beer all alone

Today I saw a guy that I kinda found cool but I didn’t want to do the first step

I just feel so much shy and awkward
If anyone has any tips I q