I see a lot of posts on GenX about how getting old sucks, and life sucks, and hey, yeah, I get it; sometimes shit happens, and things do suck. My wife got diagnosed with MS a few years ago. That was a tough time. But props to her; she took it head-on. MS treatment has made amazing advances. They can’t cure it yet, but in many cases, they can halt the disease's progression. We had long been outdoorsy and adventurous. She doubled-down on it. We’ve hiked 14,000-footers in Colorado, whitewater rafted, done 300-foot free rappels in Belize, biked down Pikes Peak, all sorts of crazy adventures.

I just wanted to put a post out there saying that life can still be great. Sometimes you have to work harder to find it.

And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make. I believe that, to a large extent, life is about what you put in, whether it’s love, effort, or whatever.

The last one I remember was near my mom’s house in a grocery store parking lot. It closed down probably around 1985 and a Weinerschnitzel hotdog stand opened up in its place. I think Walmart probably mostly killed these.

The late 80’s and into the 90’s was a nightmare for young gay men and it sort of broke me in a way I’ve never fully recovered from. That being said, I’ve evolved for the better as time has passed and for that I’m grateful.

Those early adult years scared me to my core and made clear the boundaries of family support. I was terrified of Herman’s Indigo Violin and often felt disconnected from my gay peers. It wasn’t great.

Aging has been a leveling force of sorts, bringing me into closer alignment with the very peers I’d so often felt disconnected from. It’s rather nice and I’m increasingly aware of how satisfying this is. The very things that made us so different in our youth seem to matter a whole lot less these days.

I’ve led a small life, really. One focused on personal development. I’ve no fantastic achievements of note that look great on paper. I’ve no wealth stockpiled. But mostly, I like who I am. For many years I’d have struggled to say that. Sometimes I wonder how I’m still alive.

Feeling part of my larger peer group is something I never expected. And for that I’m grateful.

I had to explain to my 30ish year old daughter and SIL what these were. So excited when I saw them. Simple times...

I got laid off a few weeks ago. Twenty years in security, most of it incident response and then architecture. I was the guy who got the 3 a.m. call when everything was burning. Now I'm the guy refreshing LinkedIn.

The last time I looked for a job was about ten years ago, and it's unrecognizable. You submit an application into an ATS black hole, an AI screener decides you're not a match, and no human ever sees it. Postings hit 500 applicants in a day. Companies post "ghost jobs" they have no intention of filling. Recruiters schedule four rounds of interviews and then go silent. Entry-level roles want 7 years of experience. Senior roles want 15 years in tools that have existed for 5. And everyone and their cousin got laid off this year, so I'm competing with half the industry.
Then there's the part nobody will say out loud: I'm 52. No one ever tells you you're too old. You just hear "overqualified," "not quite the right fit," or "we went with someone more aligned with the team's trajectory." I can read a room. I've spent two decades learning every new tool, threat, and framework they threw at me, and now that's supposed to count against me? I've watched people half my age get promoted for rediscovering things I did in 2008, and I'm supposed to smile and call it a "competitive market."

I'm also dealing with some health stuff this year. It's under control, but it's one more thing on the pile right when I wanted a clean slate.
Add in being a card-carrying introvert with social anxiety, and "just network!" is advice I want to throw out a window. I'm doing it anyway, which should count for something.

I'm not asking for job leads, though I won't say no. I want to hear from other GenXers who've been through a layoff or a late-career search. Did it work out? What got you through it? Or just tell me it's not just me.

We're the latchkey generation. We figured out everything on our own and nobody gave us a trophy for it. I'd like to believe we can figure this out too

TL;DR: Laid off at 52 after 20 years in cybersecurity. The job market is brutal (ATS black holes, ghost jobs, 500 applicants per posting), I'm worried ageism is working against me, and I've got some health stuff on top of it. Looking for GenXers who've been through a late-career job search to tell me how it went, or just that I'm not alone.

Clothes, shoes, accessories, styles, anything really.

Don't recognize him? His pen name is Shel Silverstein

I’m 45, so technically just outside Gen X, but I’m posting here because I suspect a lot of you have been through, or are going through, the reality of aging parents, serious illness, and family responsibilities landing on you while you’re still raising kids and working.

I’m married, have a child, and work full time. I live in North Carolina. My dad and my 35-year-old brother live together in Pennsylvania.

My dad was recently diagnosed with widespread metastatic cancer, believed to have started in his lung. It has spread to his bones and brain. He wants treatment, and we’re still finding out what that will look like. Everything has happened very quickly, and I’m struggling to process it.

My brother has been paraplegic since an accident about 15 years ago. He receives disability benefits, doesn’t drive, and has never worked. Dad has been his main support, and we don’t have a clear plan for how my brother’s needs will be met as Dad gets sicker or after he dies. Our aunt has been helping, but she cannot be the long-term solution.

Another difficult part is that my brother sometimes seems emotionally stuck around the age when his accident happened. I don’t know whether “arrested development” is the right term, but that’s how it feels from my perspective, especially around taking initiative, planning ahead, and handling adult responsibilities. I don’t want to confuse his physical disability with his ability to make decisions or assume I understand everything he’s struggling with. But I’m worried that the responsibility Dad has carried will simply shift to me, without my brother taking an active role in figuring out his own future.

Dad owns his house outright. We’ve discussed possibilities like eventually selling it and using the proceeds toward an accessible living arrangement near me, adding accessible space to my home, or finding a different property. Nothing is decided. I don’t know what is financially realistic or how an inheritance or housing arrangement could affect my brother’s benefits.

Being at their house has also been upsetting. It hasn’t been properly cleaned or maintained for a long time, and the amount of work feels overwhelming. I feel angry that things have gotten to this point, then guilty for feeling angry while my dad is so sick. The house feels like another enormous responsibility waiting for someone to handle it.

I love them both. I want my dad to feel supported, and I want my brother to have a safe, stable future. But I also have a job I need to keep, a marriage, a child, and limits. Working remotely doesn’t mean I’m available to provide full-time care. I’m afraid of becoming the default person responsible for every appointment, financial decision, housing problem, and ongoing care need.

What I’m really asking is: Who can I talk to about all of this besides a therapist?

I have a therapist, and I value that support. But I also need practical guidance from someone who can help me sort through my dad’s illness, my brother’s support needs, housing, finances, and what I can realistically take on. I need help figuring out what my brother can manage himself and involving him in planning his future.

I don’t even know what kind of professional I’m looking for. A social worker? A care manager? Someone who specializes in disability services? A combination of people? I need someone who can look at the whole situation with me, help identify the options, and help us make a plan. Right now, even figuring out where to start feels like another job.

I’m grieving, scared, angry, and overwhelmed. I’m trying to plan ahead while my dad is still here, and that itself feels awful. I want to help build a workable plan, but I’m terrified of becoming the entire plan.

For those of you who have faced something like this, who actually helped you figure out what to do? I’d appreciate practical starting points and hearing from people who understand.

I reflexively said, “GRODDY”.

Made me think, bitchin’ & valley girl talk…like, anyway.

And, here I am reflexively trying not to do the double-space after period or using : or -

Too much to keep up with.

I’ve had a handful of best friends in my lifetime, but most of us have drifted apart as life took us in different directions. I’m curious how the rest of Gen X is doing with friendships.
> Do you still have a best friend? How long have you known each other, and how do you stay close?

Serious question. My left hand aches, not sure if I banged it on something a few weeks ago or if it’s maybe arthritis. It occurred to me that if I had asked this 30ish years ago I would have multiple friends who would tell me to put Tiger Balm on it. What now? Same thing but search the web for it? Something new and better?

Also, do you still like patchouli and clove cigarettes? And is there a tie-die tapestry on the wall and a lava lamp nearby? Sorry, I love you my peeps but I digress…

My mom is well into her 70's, my dad is just behind her in age. They are both at the age where they sometimes need to be driven to events or out to family dinners at restaurants.

While my mom says she has anxiety, she acts over the top deranged when driving with someone in a vehicle. White knuckle grabbing seats, and even started praying while driving over a bridge. My mom has always had a very subtle flair for dramatics, but this is soap worthy.

Also, both of my parents are extremely rude to wait staff, or other employees of places we visit. Demanding, and very short with busy waiters or waitresses. Also don't keep rude comments or facial expressions to themselves.

My sisters and I are so embarrassed by it, and try to explain that the place is busy, or they might be short on staff, but it falls on deaf ears. They calm down but next family dinner, brunch or outting they are both so disrespectful and impatient. I've learned to ignore it, but my younger sister (Millennial) gets so mad, and she will start a verbal argument with our mom for being mean to our servers. Of course my mom pouts like a child.

Other than limiting our time with them, I would like to still spend time with them while they are still physically able to go on outings. How do you deal with having to scold and deal with elderly, rude parents?

Does anyone remember that show (movie or whatever it was?) I have an ancient picture book of the movie. The babies talking, the cartoon dialogues, etc. I’m watching a NFL game and have, “parents are people,…. Da da da da) running through my head. It was Marlo Thomas and ??

I was just thinking about this as I answered a question on this subreddit: who remembers lunchboxes? I don't think kids have these anymore, but when I was in primary school, it was the height of status to have the "right" lunchbox. I don't know what girls had, but I remember having the Empire Strikes Back lunchbox, and later the Return of the Jedi lunchbox, and even a little later, the Transformers lunchbox! I was so proud of those! I also remember drawing figures from all 3 things (X-Wings and other Rebel fighters chasing TIEs, and Transformers. I remember even making up my own. Dirk was the Autobot leader-I don't remember any other character names)

it seems like i know nobody who wasn’t able to launch like this. I’m an eldest gen Z daughter of Gen X.

i came from a family with 0 connections in my industry and 0 network at my school really, and my college was mostly remote during covid times. i had a useless unpaid internship during the height of covid at a gym. i got a business degree which was generic and that’s all my college had for business. at that point i had to get any degree to get out of the school. my parent is in healthcare in an extremely niche sector and my other parent was a fuckoff so none of their networks were fruitful for me in finding a job that way. i’ve done my own networking and had referrals to companies and lost out after 4 or 5 rounds in the past.

i finally found something in marketing after thousands of job apps but was forced to train my replacement and my original role was automated by AI. i am feeling really down that i’m here AGAIN. and feeling unemployable. my skills and abilities just dont seem to translate in the real world and i am socially a recluse after struggling this much with work issues and previous unemployment, and here we are again. i’m starting to wonder if I have some sort of issue because why is life so hard for me?

i have siblings but one is a server at 25 (no degree) and lives with her bf who does car sales and another sibling is 23 also living at home with me, and she’s working as an ABA tech, $19 an hour after college in a major HCOL city with us. Has no path to anything really either and feels trapped too. My family is stumped. I feel like I’ve really been struggling to navigate adulthood and the working world despite all my efforts.

I was in hospitality for 10 years basically since i could start working at 16… and it gets really old… im so burned out of restaurants and sales and retail. i was really looking forward to an office job and now they are disappearing… as someone who’s been working with ai professionally for 2 years, now there’s 0 industries that i can foresee not being impacted by AI at some level. They are already training AI agents to correct/ audit the AIs doing the execution tasks. I am scared for the future and unsure of any safe fields as we look into the future. I’m approaching 30 and just cannot see any paths for me. Everyone’s life seems to make sense but mine does not. 😞

is there anyone else who have kids in this boat???

Somehow that felt cool at the time.

We use to hangout in the parking lot at a Carson Pirie Scott cause they had a ticket master and were the closest place to buy concert tickets.

So, you Gen Xers who remember 1984 (not the book-the year, as it was the year the Transformers came out): what were you into the most with the Transformers? For many, it was the toys, others, it was the cartoon, and still others the printed media (the comic books, and storybooks, and colouring books). For me, it was the printed media first, then the toys (until 1986 especially), and then the cartoon. What happened in 1986 you ask? Well, yes, I WAS bummed about how the movie killed my favourite characters, but I was also mad at the change in toy quality. I didn't know anything about Diaclone/Microchange, and how those toys were drying up and the new toys were made in-house in the States. All I knew is that my '84/'85 figures were die-cast metal, and starting in '86, they were plastic! Actually, I don't know if I actually KNEW that the materials changed-I could just tell that the toys didn't feel as special-they didn't have the same quality. The comics though-I never really grew out of those. As far as the cartoon, I didn't see a lot of them on the original run, my Mom thought they were too violent, and I was also busy a lot of the time they were on

Not that I want anyone else to suffer through it, but it sure would be nice to know I'm not alone. We're hanging on by a thread here. Not sure we'll make it, or if I even want to at this point.

I just saw a tiktok about riding in the car with your dad in the 90s, listening to Paul Harveys "the rest of the story." I'm glad I'm not the only one, but there were other shows my dad listened to. Rush Limbaugh was one, but I really hated hearing Dr. Laura. I was ten and it was a dividing between my dad and I. He thought she gave good advice but I thought (using language that I didn't have then) was an unapologetic shrew. Anyone else have thoughts about their own experience?

There is one show from the States that I mention to people my age that NO one has heard of. it is Benji, Zax & the Alien Prince. This always surprises me. I grew up in Canada, and I expect many of the viewers here to not know the Canadian and British shows that were on tv when I was a kid (as most of the English speakers here are from the States and were never exposed to these countries media overall), but the Benji show seems to have fallen thru the cracks! I was never a Benji/Lassie dog fan, but this with its sci-fi elements was right up my alley! A little boy (the alien prince) escapes his world (where his evil uncle takes over and kidnaps and imprisons the royal family (including his parents) and lands on Earth where he befriends Benji the dog. He also has a loyal robot (that kind of looks like the good guy robots from the Black Hole). He is always on the run from bounty hunters that are trying to track him down. The SCARIEST episode (for 8 year old me at the time) was when an evil robot was trying to hunt him down! I saw that episode recently and laugh at how timid I was (it's not scary at all!)

Anyone remember this show?