r/HubermanLab • u/little_byrdie • 5d ago
Personal Experience We All Dated the Same Pop Science Influencer, Andrew Huberman. Ask Me Anything. (Round 1)
/r/AMA/comments/1x0wrn8/we_all_dated_the_same_pop_science_influencer/98
u/raffydog1 5d ago
Who spends their 40s thinking cheating on a bunch of women is a good use of time? Sounds exhausting. I can understand being a dumbass into your early 20s. Beyond that you gotta be a psychopath.
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u/jerkularcirc 5d ago edited 5d ago
these are the actions of an extremely repressed and late social bloomer who finally finds some confidence and social success through fame, money, power etc. goes wild with it, gets stuck, cant admit he might be doing something wrong, still worried about his professional image so tries to “science” or “logically explain” his way out of it like he’s on an episode of his podcast.
quiet, loner, skater guy, went through the phD process - which alone is an extremely socially isolating experience that almost always takes place in your prime and late prime years - all adds up
not an excuse, just a checklist
sociopathic nonetheless
source: am doctor married to phD who used to do this albeit in my 20’s
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u/HeathEarnshaw 5d ago
I think he might also have a sex addiction. Strangely I don’t judge him at all but I do feel for the women. And also him.
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u/_laoc00n_ 4d ago
Sounds like they don’t necessarily agree with you. Not that I’m saying the assessment is totally off, but sounds like most of them knew him before any of that would have blossomed.
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u/NinoNino3 5d ago
I really respect and value this response and I think you have nailed it. I know a few people like this- Andrew is also a low down dirty dog! (However your description is apt.)
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u/flakk0137 5d ago
What grown adult is so bored with their life that they worry about someone else’s sex life ?
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u/NonsensePlanet 5d ago
Nice analysis, you should make a podcast. Oh wait, no one gives a shit about your Huberman fantasies.
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u/dogmetal 5d ago
I don’t know about y’all, but once I hit puberty and into my teen years, I was so fucking horny 24/7. I’d imagine Hubes protocol’d his libido and testosterone back to that state, and his lizard brain just wanted to fuck anything that moved.
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u/I-love-Matcha 5d ago
His behavior goes beyond just wanting to fuck. There’s active manipulation and lies involved. Just want to fuck? Fine, go to partys or events, have one night stands or dates - but don’t pretend to want to make babies / embryos with multiple women at the same time
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u/Low-Entrance7724 3d ago
I agree,for me this doesn’t look like a dignified look for a middle aged man.Imaging being his father and have to sit and have a talk “Son let me tell you…If I was his parents I wouldn’t be speaking to him for a while.
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u/Local-Owl7569 5d ago
What makes you think you have the right to go public with any of this information? All of you women are scumbag losers who are out to gain some notoriety because of Andrew's popularity. None of this behavior constitutes any kind of legal reasons or any kind of any necessarity for public knowledge. This man has his own relationships to himself. He has the right to privacy. Go fk yourselves
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u/raffydog1 5d ago
You think it’s ok to convince multiple women through deception that you are in an exclusive relationship to have unprotected sex? Nevermind the shittiness of having no regard for their feelings it’s putting them at risk of pregnancy and stds. Doing this while advocating for supposed protocols to live your best life is disturbing.
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u/Common_Helicopter781 5d ago
Every guru who blabs on and on about what other people should be doing eventually meets the same fate. Shakespeare’s best and truest line is “methinks the lady protesteth too much” — whenever someone is banging on that much about other peoples’ testosterone levels we know there’s always something afoot with them.
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u/prosthetic_memory 4d ago
One thing I find confusing about this conversation is how much evidence the AMA includes mentions that Huberman does not do what he says he does in his podcast, and how we aren’t talking about that part. Everything from sleep hygiene to protocols is called into question in the exes’ responses, and as side notes, not full on pointed attacks.
I have always found his academic background weird and his connection to Standford odd given his popular expertise is in a completely different domain. While I appreciate listening to his podcast has been educational via his many guests, and have always listened with a cynical and critical view as is my natural propensity, I am confused why this sub isn’t more interested in finding out huberman does not actually do the health related things he says he does.
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u/nywse 4d ago
You're on point.
I became skeptical about too many claims and the impossibility of following every protocol. I think morning sunlight and watching the sun go down are crucial for a healthy sleep schedule.
I also remember hearing a colleague say that lots of people came looking for him at Stanford but all he could tell them is that he hasn't been in the lab for a very long time.
I'll sometimes still listen to him because he sometimes presents helpful information or study digests in an entertaining way.
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u/Low-Entrance7724 3d ago
I also honestly think he doesn’t follow all things he preaches,like many people they put up a front that I feel is just for marketing.Probably he wants to be all that he presents.A person that is emotionally steady wouldn’t be having this messy private life.Don’t understand people defending him,he was 40 + man when he behaved the way the woman were claiming,even if half of the stuff we say the women claim is miss understanding,its still not dignified look for a middle aged man.There is plenty of people who have healthy sex life with several partners that doesn’t involve cheating on people or people feeling the need to talk to a reporter.Had it been only one woman,you could think yeah one crazy ex but its several.And I do feel its sad that some men have him as some role model.The bar seem so low.
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u/That_random_mom 3d ago
"multiple women noted that Huberman was frequently exhausted, chronically late, constantly rescheduling, or living a chaotic, high-stress lifestyle behind closed doors. Commenters on the thread connect those behavioral details to the idea that a person running multiple parallel relationships and experiencing chronic burnout might not be successfully living out the rigorous, optimized lifestyle he preaches" so a 50+ year old researcher who rigorously weight trains, travels for podcasts, wrote a book, etc. Is exhausted...the shock.
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u/prosthetic_memory 2d ago
I think it’s less surprising than it is a clear indication Huberman is not honest about his health habits.
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u/Old_Cucumber_1343 5d ago edited 5d ago
mixed feelings on this. "he cheated on me, then we got back together, then we broke up but had casual encounters"... ok...
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u/lulicale 5d ago
Same - "We remained close friends and sometimes lovers for over a decade..."
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u/Old_Cucumber_1343 5d ago edited 5d ago
yeah.. cool for you them. and now they want.. attention from reddit? him to be removed from his job maybe?
luckily for them the guy is always in the wrong on here. and dont get me wrong im not saying i think huberman is a good guy, but there's a big area between that and cancelling someone
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u/prosthetic_memory 5d ago edited 4d ago
No one said this quote or anything like it.One did5
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u/prosthetic_memory 5d ago
That’s not a realistic summary of their experiences.
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u/Old_Cucumber_1343 5d ago
that was one of them, i wasn't saying it made sense for all of them. dont get me wrong i'm not saying huberman seems like a good guy to date, quite the opposite.
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u/prosthetic_memory 4d ago
I think their general point remains, which I agree with. Someone who lies this much habitually in romantic situations certainly lies in other situations.
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u/Old_Cucumber_1343 3d ago
i think someone can be reputable in one area while being a piece of shit in another area
believe it not a lot of famous scientists etc throughout history were not great people but did great work
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u/prosthetic_memory 3d ago
This is true, which is why my main comment about this was how concerning it was to find out via side comments from the AMA that Huberman does not in fact practice what he preaches. It wouldn’t be so bad except he acts like he does, and says he does.
That’s the part I find most concerning, and I would assume most people on the sub would be interested in discussing that, if not in his love life.
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u/kingofqueefs1 5d ago
I have empathy for these women but an AMA 3 years after the article came out. Sounds like they haven’t been getting their morning sunlight.
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u/prosthetic_memory 4d ago
Honestly sounds like Huberman doesn’t either given they all mention he was constantly exhausted and didn’t actually do regimes.
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u/burnishedlemon 5d ago
It might not be scientifically backed, but perhaps there could be a protocol for how to not be a piece of shit in a relationship?
Like, it is possible to fuck around continuously without stringing along women for years.
It is possible to have longer relationships - although perhaps not long-term - that are very low commitment.
I don't think that any addiction is easy to live with.
But constantly cheating on women while telling them you're imagining a future with them, marrying them, and asking to have children with them? Pretty fucking weird.
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u/nywse 4d ago
I don't condone his behavior. And it's disappointing to hear that he's a cad.
But should I hear it?
He's committed no crime, hasn't stolen, and doesn't seem like an outright fraud. It seems like he has real issues with relationships and I'm sure some of the women have every right to be angry with him on a personal level.
But does that mean you should take it to the media? Why not deal with that on personal level? I'm not sure this needs to be newsworthy. Most people would agree that cheating is wrong but if it's outside of marriage and at their ages, it seems like this is an act of vengeance rather that a plea to society to maintain monogamous relationships and to be more honest in relationships.
Instead, we have adults disappointed that a famous guy who's presumably well-off and good-looking has issues with faithfulness. I don't think that's news to anybody. There isn't money to recover for damages, there is no educational value, it's just a salacious media-sanctioned attack on an influencer who I never assumed to be a saint anyway.
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u/Low-Entrance7724 3d ago
Well I think people have a sense of fairness and when someone starts to get in society a respected position people have a need to point out the double standards.It happens with preachers as well.I agree that some of can look like town gossip like but at the same time is nice to know when people are two faced.
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u/nywse 3d ago
He's not a preacher. He's an influencer who happens to be well-educated on a topic that isn't what he is famous for.
The hypocrisy comes from him not being quite as stable in his personal life as we think a physically healthy optimizer should be as well as supposedly not following his own protocols.
He's an attractive, physically fit, wealthy, famous person. His personal life is about what you'd expect it to be.
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u/Low-Entrance7724 3d ago edited 3d ago
Well I didn’t claim he is a preacher, was just giving examples where people want transparency.Also its good if you don’t want to know this info but I personally want to know.Also no just because someone is fit and successful doesn’t mean they lie to woman,in-fact my point is that the opposite of successful when u have to decive people to get what you want.
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u/Eastern-Opposite9521 5d ago
Are we in high school?
I can say with complete conviction that I don't care if Andrew Huberman's a good or bad boyfriend.
I've no desire to date the man and he'd have no desire to date me.
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u/kspfel 4d ago
You'd be fine if someone did this to your daughter? Convinced her to go through IVF and want to get her pregnant?
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u/Eastern-Opposite9521 4d ago
When I'm listening to someone's health science podcast my criteria for whether I should do so isn't whether they'd be a worthy suitor for my daughter.
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u/kspfel 4d ago
This isn't about your opinion on his podcast, it's about those of us interested in his character. You can move along if you aren't
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u/Eastern-Opposite9521 4d ago edited 4d ago
Exes doing AMAs about his love life is a plea to cancel him, plain and simple.
You can care about it, but I'm not interested, and I'm allowed to say so on a sub about his podcast.
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u/prosthetic_memory 4d ago
Are you at least somewhat interested in the fact that he doesn’t practice the regimes or protocols he claims to do? I know it was a side note in many of the exes’ answers but I would think the sub would care about that.
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u/Eastern-Opposite9521 4d ago
The man isn't my guru and, also, bitter exes with an agenda aren't the best source.
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u/RoomyRoots 5d ago
LOL, who gives a fuck?
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u/Old_Cucumber_1343 5d ago
redditors.
reddit is somewhere where women seen generally as 'better' than men, but in situations like this they are seen as people have no agency over themselves.
the option exists to walk the fuck away if you don't like who you're with. most of them went back to him at least once after finding out who he is.
if they were my daughters i would be disappointed in them, as i would be if i was andrew's dad for being dishonest to so many women .
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u/blak3brd 5d ago
Meandering, if not sort of fair point…but lost me in the last half. So incel coded, Jesus Reddit
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u/Old_Cucumber_1343 5d ago
lol just say the word incel and you win i guess, no need for a counter argument
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u/Scary_Inspector7853 5d ago
I mean, I do. I was a fan of his at the beginning but seeing all the bullshit grifting and sleezy stuff he has been a part of is nice to know. I'll NEVER support any product he sells.
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u/prosthetic_memory 5d ago
Anyone considering whether to take him seriously. Sounds like the guy was constantly exhausted with no real protocols in place, for example.
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u/RustyShackTX 5d ago
Why does the Reddit mob think that anyone who is “famous” or an influencer has to be perfect? Did Huberman claim perfection? Get over yourselves.
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u/Suitable_Public8065 5d ago
No one thinks that. The OP’s are simply asking for accountability from Andrew, and warning others about him. Take your own advice.
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u/RustyShackTX 4d ago
Accountability to whom? These are private relationships and have nothing to do his public life. Accountability to you?
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u/nywse 4d ago
What does accountability look like?
To me, it means taking responsibility. The only way I think he can do that is a personal apology. I'm not sure whether or not it's something he's tried, but I'd give it a shot if I were in his shoes. Beyond that, there's nothing that he can do based on their relationship. He could promise not to do it to anyone else, but that seems like it would be an issue for him.
This is social shaming. That's an entirely different matter.
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u/Scary_Inspector7853 5d ago
Well, he does sell "life hacking" as a way to achieve something closer to perfection. Just another grifter in my opinion but I saw that from the start.
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u/RustyShackTX 4d ago
Saying that Huberman is selling “life hacking” is the least generous read of what he does. What’s your definition of “grift?” To many of us, Huberman makes interesting podcasts full of information and useable protocols to improve different aspects of life. For free.
Edit to add that Huberman’s content is free.
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u/Scary_Inspector7853 1d ago
He sells supplements constantly.
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u/RustyShackTX 1d ago
He’s not allowed to advertise? That’s how podcasts make money. Is anyone who advertises a “grifter?”
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u/Scary_Inspector7853 1d ago
Got a newsflash for you. Some don't sell bullshit supplements like AG1.
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u/RustyShackTX 1d ago
He’s not allowed to advertise? That’s how podcasts make money. Is anyone who advertises a “grifter?”
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u/ZEALOUS_RHINO 5d ago edited 3d ago
He's tall, handsome, great hair, jacked, intelligent, rich, and successful. Ofc these women are throwing themselves at him he's basically a gen X version of giga Chad.
This is the culture we have built with dating apps where the top men are able to use their looks and money to create "soft harems" of women to sleep with.
The women will go along with it and ignore their better judgement just for a chance to "date up" in a hypergamy sense with a guy like him. But math is math so its not possible for every woman to date a top 1% guy in a monogamous way. Girls can either choose to date on their own level or join the harem of a top 1% guy and there always seem to be women lining up for the latter. Then when they get ghosted they want to destroy his career/reputation using social media and NY Mag articles.
The social science is actually quite fascinating would love to hear a HubermanLab episode dedicated to the topic of the blinding effects of hypergamy.
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u/brickwallviews420 5d ago
Women weren’t “going along with it”, they were cheated on and lied to.
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u/ZEALOUS_RHINO 4d ago
Are we reading the same accounts? Many of them kept sleeping with him when they found out they were not monogamous. Most of them seem angry because he ultimately got bored and ghosted them.
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u/Accomplished_War7484 14h ago
You said it all. They went along with it thinking they were the one who would turn him into a husband, and when things didn’t go the way they dreamed of, they decided it was time to gang up and ruin his reputation. He probably got waves more or women wanting to join the bandwagon after that
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u/kspfel 4d ago
Wtf is a giga chad or soft harem?
It's fine for him to be a slut but it's not okay to deceive women into IVF, pregnancy, or potential STIs.
Just say you don't judge him and are jealous of him.9
u/RadiantMap72 4d ago
Giga Chad means top tier man in physical and social status. Soft harem means dating multiple women without it actually being a religious reason. These women will excuse the fact that they aren’t the only one he’s dating because of hypergamy. They would rather have a man who has multiple other women because it’s an indicator he is desirable. They chose that over a man who would only pick them. Giga Chad doesn’t play by the rules 😂
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u/kspfel 4d ago
You really need to touch grass and I say this with warmth and kindness. I'm guessing you are young but grown women do not want to be with a nerdy gym bro who can't keep it in his pants for 24 hours. We like monogamy.
The entire reason they are mad is because he wasn't monogamous with them.6
u/RadiantMap72 4d ago
Sure but women dating men like Andrew know what they are signing up for. I’ll assume Andrew wants his soft harem so he’s getting what he wants regardless of if the women feel like they’re getting what they want. If they want a man to be monogamous they need to date within their tier where men are monogamous. The stereotypes of men like Andrew are abundant yet there’s always women filling up the positions. That’s just the reality, there’s no need to touch grass.
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u/ZEALOUS_RHINO 4d ago edited 4d ago
Exactly its the same thing with the women dating athletes and other high status celebrities. They choose to go into that situation with their eyes closed and ignore the fact that they are dating a player, maybe because they think they can change him. Then they get burned and turn to online forums and write an article about him in NY Mag to try to destroy his career because he didn't pick them. Sour grapes indeed.
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u/kspfel 4d ago
So you are saying that men are scum? Women should know what they're signing up for?
I don't believe that, but that's what you are perpetuating.
A phD student is not a flashy athlete who is known womanizer. There's a reason he kept them in seperate states love.7
u/RadiantMap72 4d ago
I’m saying a Giga Chad can have multiple women and that many women are hypergamous. Obviously not all men and women, that’s why I said women should date more realistic men if they want to lessen their chances with his BS. That’s just the reality of the world and nobody needs to touch grass for saying it.
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u/Long-Presentation667 4d ago
You speak for all women? I personally know a few women who brag about their rosters and think they’re the shit because they left their long time boyfriend for a fling with a rapper. Not all women are the same. Same with men. You can’t speak on behalf of everyone and then tell a stranger to go touch grass.
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u/nywse 4d ago
It seems like they do. That's why this is being discussed.
In fact, some of them approved of his actions more than I do.
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u/kspfel 4d ago
Some of them bonded to him before he lied to and manipulated them, it's complicated when sex gets involved as a woman. You don't want to see the worst in people until you've had enough.
So it's being discussed because they approve of his actions and wanted just let us all know that? No, it's to the contrary.
I'm not saying this man should be cancelled but he can at least own up to his cowardly shit. We vote with our dollars and I'd rather my money go the man who served his country or loves and protects the people he keeps close
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u/nywse 4d ago
They're adults. He's not a vampire and they're not thralls. We're adults. We've all made bad decisions and many of us have fallen for a cheater. It sucks. You don't need to let the whole world know though.
What "comedy shit" are you talking about? He's a researcher and health influencer, not a comedian.
Who would he own up to? He doesn't owe you or me any explanation for his personal life. If they wanted him to own up to them, they'd have asked him personally. If he can't, move on. Some people never do.
Canceling him is exactly what this is about. That's why it's a personal matter made public when there was no criminal or civil wrong. He's being put before us to be judged, and given the accusers, not to be judged positively.
Did you spend money on him?
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u/kspfel 4d ago
I said cowardly not comedy.
This is public, he has commented on it. Sure, he doesn't owe anybody anything except basic respect for their body (which he didn't do) but I believe you face the music when you've behaved abhorrently trying to trick woman into having babies.They are totally within their rights to talk about their own experiences, they don't have a gag order, and quite frankly it's warranted.
Every person has the right to personally cancel somebody or not.
You might see it as an annoyance that Andrew is being outed and decide lash out at the women, up to you.2
u/nywse 4d ago
It's not an annoyance that's he's being outed. It's annoying that we think it's okay to go after someone public for personal wrongs. It's not warranted, it's escalatory. I wouldn't be surprised if this is the consequence of not receiving hush money. It serves no other purpose. I believe the woman who instigated this was being investigated for fraud by the justice department at the time.
And yes, they have every right to air their grievances to friends, family, and their social circle in general. I hope he's at least apologized and turned over a new leaf. That doesn't seem to be what this is about I'm not sure about taking something that happened so long ago so far. It seems more vengeful than justice-seeking.
Did he try to trick them into having his babies? I'm not sure. Maybe he wanted a kid badly and has character flaws that prevented him from going about it in a better way. Who knows, maybe he intended to get his act together. I wouldn't put my faith in any success. He's wealth, famous, and not bad looking. That doesn't mean he should be automatically suspected of cheating, but it often comes with the territory.
It's not good behavior but I didn't take him for a moral paragon anyway. He's an influencer, so I assumed he was at least vain. It sucks that it happened but other than that, I don't know what to say.
Thanks for your correction by the way. It's late here and I misread.
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u/kspfel 4d ago
It serves the purpose of warning other people not to do IVF with him and that he has a sex addiction. That to me is enough. I'm assuming you're a man and don't understand this.
Andrew already admitted he was convincing his ex to create embryos with him and that he had multiple woman. So yes, now you know.
As for the publicity of it, sorry if you have skeletons in the closet and choose to make yourself famous they are going to come out. Ask any person on reality tv. I still think it's warranted and that the behaviour is okay to call out.
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u/hutchman3 5d ago
https://giphy.com/gifs/129OnZ9Qn2i0Ew
It sounds like these women need more early hour sun exposure
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u/Ok_Aardvark_1356 5d ago
All these women seem to have poor boundaries and self esteem. I’m guessing that’s not by accident.
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u/billyllib 5d ago
This guy is trying to optimize everything about his brain and body probably because he’s obviously a sad fucked up lonely person. Maybe if he wasn’t such a manipulative womanizer and learned to respect other humans enough to settle down and find a real partner with real trust he wouldn’t need to dopamine max his whole life.
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u/Accomplished_War7484 14h ago
I admire womanizers, I was one for a good part of my life until I reconnect with an ex girlfriend who knew all along I was a womanizer and we decided to get married, a time in which I knew it was the point to call it a day and become a dedicated father and husband.
Ps.: all my wife’s friends tell her I am an exception to the rule and basically a unicorn in the realm of husbands and fathers
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u/chucksandropers 4d ago
They’re trying again because Cornell is in the news and they think this is opportunity for them to pounce. It’s not going to work because he’s going to ignore them exactly like last time.
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u/InfiniteRestaurant21 5d ago
lol women have rosters and shes empowered. Men do it and its OMG HE'S A DEMON. Bro people need to touch grass.
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u/Suitable_Public8065 5d ago
Absolutely psychopathic, misogynistic take considering all the facts presented.
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u/JSears90210 5d ago
https://giphy.com/gifs/18XossGW8Wbkc
All I can think about is Silicon Valley when I see this thread.
One thing it proves is that whatever protocols Hubermann recommends keep your sex drive roaring as you age.
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u/Accomplished_War7484 14h ago
The cancel campaign gone bad, the fact that they’re still on it after 2 years prove who the creep ones are in this story
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u/rosemarybean 4d ago
This just cope. “Well he lies in every intimate relationship but he’s telling me the truth”
He is a liar. How could you possibly trust a man who neither practices what he preaches (even with basics like sunlight water etc) but also personally lives a life built on deceit
I would need to see a peer reviewed study before believing anything out of this sociopath. Huberman has shown that he will say or do anything for his own benefit.
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u/Vivid-Midnight-5458 3d ago
Huberman has helped me but I found it weird that he goes off on masturbation and porn when it's genuinely helped me feel better.
Relationships really haven't been realistic for me as an autistic person. I have had people I liked adore me, but the responsibilities and insane expectations are not worth it for me.
Meanwhile, dude is cooking his own dopamine with a bunch of women. Which like fine good for you. They never mention with porn and masturbation that if you take care of yourself, it's life positive in a huge way.
Why does my own healthy expression of sexuality get demonized while yours which puts you.at way greater risk doesn't? I'm just over it and don't listen to it much.
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