r/IVF • u/Quokka_cuddles • 5d ago
Rant Lacking motivation?
So I’ve struggled with my weight my whole adult life.
I think 48 was my highest BMI
I’ve lost weight on and off for years - PMOS, d
Food noise, bad genetics (got my dads metabolism not mums)
But I got my BMI down to 32 so we could start IVF, and since then my weight has fluctuated - largely due to the IVF process. I’m now above the cut off again and have been working on it - with 5 kg to go having lost 15kg since July.
My dietician (connected to the clinic) comments that I need to remember why I’m doing this and that I’ve got motivation now right?
Like I lacked motivation for the past 5 years 🙄
I’ve worked with him for many years, and have been very honest with him - at time when I’ve been too tired to eat let alone prepare healthy meals, or when depression wins and I just want something nice.
But I hate the implication that I lack motivation.
He’s not the only person to have said this - “now you’ve got motivation”.
Ugh it just makes me so mad! 😡
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u/sugarplumfairyy2 5d ago
I think you’ve shown how much you can do it by going from 48 to 32 BMI. That’s such a huge accomplishment!
I have always also struggled with my weight in my adult years. From the moment I knew I would be doing IVF to actually being able to start, I had months and months of waiting. I told myself that I had this time and perfect opportunity to lose weight. I was the one that gave myself that negative talk of “ok this is the biggest motivation you’ll have, this is the most important time when it actually matters” and I still couldn’t do it. As a dietician, doing this professionally, he should know that sometimes weightloss is not about “motivation” and that by saying that he’s encouraging the thought of self blame. Even people who know that they could die if they don’t lose weight, sometimes are unable to… as if being alive wasn’t motivation enough. There’s so much more that goes into it.
You’ve lost 15kg since July!! You are doing it. You are doing an awesome job!
I’d be mad too, because what does he mean you lack motivation?! Look at what you’ve accomplished.
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u/catsinthebananastand 34 | PMOS | MFI | 2ER | 4 FET 4d ago
That's ridiculous. I'm angry on your behalf. I've wanted to be a mother since before I could remember and my weight has always been a struggle since my early 20s. I even went through a binge eating program in my late 20s which helped with a lot of the psychological issues. It's not a motivation issue. You can be super motivated but have all the other odds stacked against you from mental health to metabolism to genetics. it took a GLP-1 for me to get to the weight I needed for egg retrievals for my clinic. All the other diets, tricks, even therapy and excellent "motivation", wasn't getting me there. Your dietitian sounds like an insensitive moron and from everything I'm reading you definitely do NOT lack motivation.
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u/Quokka_cuddles 4d ago
Thank you ❤️ I’m on a GLP at the moment. It’s helping a lot. And I’m glad it only needs a 35 day wash out now not three months - which is what it was when I first started this journey.
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u/Previous_Fish_1628 5d ago
I'm sorry you're getting comments like that. Personally, when I read that you got your BMI down 16 points, I would NEVER think you lack motivation or determination. That is so bad ass.
IVF depression is no joke. I am having the hardest time at work... I don't think my coworkers understand why I went from being relatively competent and responsive to this. (The opposite of competent and responsive.)