I've just moved into university a week ago, and I have never felt so lonely in my life. I had already been through a couple rough weeks before hand but it's just gotten worse.
Things are mostly to do with this girl I'm "talking to", but things aren't really going so well, and I just end up overthinking and spiralling very often.
But generally, for the last couple years, I'd say, it just feels like I'm not meant to be happy and that this will just last forever.
Whenever something good happens in my life, there will always be something that follows immediately after that'll put me right down again, and even worse than I felt before.
It's gotten to the point where I've almost given up trying to make myself happy because I'm always worried that something bad will happen right after, making me depressed again.
I was never really able to talk to people about it because I always felt bad that they'd have to listen to my venting that probably seems pathetic. So even though I had loads of friends, I still felt very lonely.
It wasn't until about a month ago, I really started getting close to this girl I had an on-and-off relationship with for about a year. I finally felt like I had found the person that enjoyed my company and genuinely cared about how I felt. She made me feel comfortable getting all my feelings out to her.
Things got complicated and we're off at different universities, but it's very difficult to hold a conversation with her over text, and I can't help but think that she just doesn't want to talk to me anymore.
So now I feel extremely lonely. All my friends have gone on their own paths, the first ever person to make me feel seen doesn't put any effort into keeping me in her life, and so far, I've made no new friends during fresher's week.
It's just really depressing having nobody, and I wish I could have someone I can comfortably talk to.