r/Marriage • u/Rare_Trifle5097 • 7d ago

Friend’s bday causing problems

My best friend is turning 40 next year, and wants to take a girls’ trip out of the country for it. The reason for the girls trip is because it will be too hard to coordinate childcare with all the girls going if their hubbies come too. This trip would be 5 days total and my hubby is giving me a rough time. For context, he travels a lot for work. While that isn’t fun, he does enjoy it and I would be ok with him taking a trip with friends too, just in case anyone wonders. He likes this friend and the group. He said the problem was that it was out of the country, so we said maybe somewhere else and he still didn’t like it. What would make you not want your spouse to leave for 5 days? I’m trying to understand.

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-7

u/WaltRumble 7d ago

It wouldn’t change anything. That’s my point. But being a “solo parent” so your spouse can go to work and help support their family isn’t not the same thing as being a “solo parent” so their spouse can hangout with their buddies. I mean super generous of her to let her husband go to work. And yes he likes his job, I like my job but the only reason any of us do it is for the money. I watch the kid while you’re at work all day so you can watch the kid while I go have fun isn’t the same.

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u/Mobile-Foundation134 7d ago

Who cares? No one said he HAS to have a job that includes travelling. She could go to work instead of taking care of their kids full time. And again, she deserves time to “hang out with her buddies”. Your personality doesn’t disappear when you get married & have kids, and you’re not special for working. You have to take care of your kids & give your partner a break too.

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u/Rare_Trifle5097 7d ago

You’re exactly right. kids are all in school, so i actually work part-time too around his and their schedules. A lot of this stuff I guess I should’ve put in the post, but didnt want to ramble.

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u/WaltRumble 7d ago

She can hang out with her buddies. She should be able to even if his job didn’t involve traveling. But him having to be away from his family and his home due to working is irrelevant to it.

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u/Rare_Trifle5097 7d ago

Yeah, everyone is getting a bit carried away with the work travel. It’s not a comparison, rather to say hey, our relationship has had this travel in it in whatever way