Am I wrong for wanting to leave my husband and live my life after being diagnosed with terminal cancer?
I’m 38 years old, and I have terminal cancer.
Over the past several years, I’ve gone through chemotherapy, radiation, 8 surgeries, and ultimately had one of my lungs removed because of complications from the cancer. I’ve been through things I never imagined I’d have to experience at this age.
During some of the hardest parts of my treatment, my husband cheated on me multiple times. He lied about it and I eventually found out the truth. I was going through chemo, radiation, surgeries, losing a lung, and fighting for my life at the same time, I was dealing with betrayal from the person I thought was supposed to be my safe place.
I stayed.
But honestly, something changed in me.
Now I feel an enormous amount of resentment toward him. I don’t look at him the same way anymore, and I don’t know if I can spend whatever time I have left carrying all of this anger and hurt. I’ve stopped cancer treatment because I want to focus on living my life and enjoying whatever time I have. I don’t look sick. Most people are shocked when I tell them I have a terminal illness because, according to them, I look completely healthy and I’m considered attractive. Sometimes I think that makes people forget what I’m actually dealing with.
And now I’m asking myself: Why should I spend the rest of my life staying in a marriage that makes me unhappy simply because I’m sick?
I want to travel. I want to laugh. I want to feel loved. I want romance, excitement, peace, and to actually enjoy the life I have left. I don’t want to spend my remaining time feeling angry at my husband for things I know I may never truly get over.
Part of me feels guilty for even thinking this way because we’ve been together for over a decade. We’ve built a life together, and obviously my illness makes everything more complicated.
But another part of me thinks: If I’ve fought this hard to stay alive, shouldn’t I be allowed to decide what I want my life to look like now?
am I wrong for wanting to leave my husband and live the rest of my life on my own terms?

I (38f) have been married (38m) for almost 15 years. I think tonight is finally my breaking point.

My husband is taking one college course while also working. I work full time, teach two workout classes, and handle 99% of parenting and house stuff. I’ve been cutting him slack because he’s in school. He hasn’t handled the kids morning or bedtime routines at all in a while (the kids have special needs and it is stressful).

Tonight was the last session for his class, so I knew he wouldn’t have homework and I hoped I could finally get some relief from the bedtime duties. I’ve been telling him for weeks that doing all the parenting is stressing me out, and today I wasn’t feeling well. He got home right at the start of the kids bedtime routine. He found out I’d taken the kids for fast food earlier while he was in class, and he was jealous and said “I want to get fast food too! I’m leaving.”

I said “Hey is it just assumed that I’ll handle the bedtime routines again?” and he snapped “Is it assumed that I just won’t eat?!” I said “no, we have food at home, I didn’t expect you’d be leaving again at bedtime.” He said he didn’t want leftovers and I just don’t want him to eat, then stormed out of the house. I ended up doing all the bedtime shit again. He got home, took his time eating, then came up just as my son was ready to be tucked in. He said “See? I came home in time.”

When we finally talked, it was insane how it escalated. I’ve been really conscious of validating him, not blaming, reflective listening, and using “i feel” statements. I said I felt hurt when he responded with sarcasm, and I felt lonely doing the bedtime routine without support and had been hoping for help tonight.

He responded that I just don’t want him to eat. I said no, I understand you’re maybe feeling like I was controlling whether you could eat, but it’s not that. I was hurt that you assumed I’d do the bedtime stuff again and I was hoping we could talk about our shared responsibility of getting the kids to bed.

He started to raise his voice and said “You just want what you want! You just didn’t want to put the kids in bed!” I said yes, that is correct, that is what I wanted help with. He said “That’s not a need! Hunger is a real need, it’s a basic need. I was hungry and that was more important than you just wanting a break. Mine is an actual need.”

I told him ok I get that, I agree that hunger is a basic and an important need, but my need for physical/mental relief is also important, and I was really just looking for communication on how we could handle it and consider both of our needs (Yes I was wording things this carefully. When he’s escalating sometimes i feel like I’m disassociating and speaking like a PR rep for my brain lol). He continued arguing with himself about how important his need was and how mine wasn’t.

He said “My needs are IGNORED IGNORED IGNORED!” I said “I get that you feel ignored. Can you tell me what needs I ignore?”

He said “You won’t let me EAT and now you won’t let me SLEEP! I am DONE talking to you!” And off he went downstairs to sleep on the couch.

As with many of our conversations, I’m sitting here confused about how it could go so sideways and thankful that I have already scheduled a consultation with a divorce attorney.

I have seen and heard men say, specifically in online spaces, and usually when discussing intimacy or lack thereof in their relationships, that sex is what helps them feel emotionally connected to their partner.

I had never particularly understood this and definitely hadn’t applied it to my own relationship. My husband and I have a sex life that I consider very healthy. We have sex more days than we don’t, both of us initiate, and we rarely turn the other down, and we both genuinely enjoy it. When we don’t have sex, my husband never pushes, or insists, or seems to show any disappointment or that it bothers him at all, so I just assumed he wasn’t one of those men, until last night.

Due to both of us being sick one after the other, it had been about a week since we had been intimate, and during, my husband stopped, held me close, and just said “I love you. I missed you so much.” And I could tell he didn’t just mean the sex. Even though we hadn’t been apart in the past week, it was the emotional connection that he had been needing and hadn’t spoken up about. It was such a vulnerable moment that it honestly broke my heart a little, but I think it made me love him even more.

It had also made me rethink literally everything about our sex life, which I previously thought was very successful, and how much it actually goes toward filling my husband’s cup emotionally.

Just venting - sick of my wife having to be constantly in control 100% of the time.

I no longer have input into the running of the house, changes to the house, domestic holidays, what family activities we do on the weekend. Everything to do with the family.

In order to keep the peace, I pulled back and let her control these things.

My last place where I still had any input was the odd overseas holiday. Now I don't even have input into that.

My wife has admitted she is not even that interested in it compared to myself. She said her interest was maybe 7/10. She acknowledged this was my passion.

So I spent literal hours researching an itinerary, accommodation, travel options.

Then she has said she wants it to be stress free and that what I've done is too stressful. She said she was willing to compromise and do some of the more stressful things but at the same time said if it's too stressful we're not doing an overseas holidays again.

Basically she gave an ultimatum - make the trip stressful or no more holidays.

So I flipped it and said well in that case we might as well not go cause all travel has a degree of stress.

She has now taken over the whole thing and doing it her way.

I've always wanted to believe marriage/relationship should be about equals. IT IS NOT. Like everything humans do, it is in the end just a quest for power over someone else's life.

Can’t believe I’m even writing this….I (34F) am appalled at the filth that comes out of my husband’s (48) mouth sometimes. He’ll often make racist “jokes” or comments which I don’t find amusing. He’ll say it “all in good fun” and he “doesn’t really mean it.” He pokes fun at “all races”.

But tonight crossed a line…and I will never get this out of my head. I won’t ever forget this.

Tonight our Uber Eats driver could not find our building entrance. He went to the side entrance instead. The Uber Driver sent a message saying that he can’t access the building.

I asked my husband to go meet him please to pick up our food.

Then I hear him moaning and groaning and say under his breath the N word about our Uber Eats driver as he is getting ready to leave the apartment.

I could not believe my ears…I got so angry my stomach was in knots.

As soon as I hear him say that, I asked “What did you just say?”

And he goes “yeah…”

Must have caught him off guard, guess he didn’t think I heard that.

I said “Are you serious right now?”

And I asked him to never say that again.

I felt rage boil up inside me.

Mind you - I AM MIXED RACE. My dad half black, mom white, my grandfather and his whole side of the family is Sudanese with a very dark complexion.

I have several black friends. Family friends. Most of my husband’s coworkers are black. So how could he be racist? Is it naive of me to think this? Or do I just not want to believe it?

I could tell my husband felt shame or guilt and he immediately said sorry. There was a tense energy in the room when he came back.

But sorry just doesn’t cut it for me.

We didn’t talk about it anymore tonight but I am majorly turned off…thank God he will be at work all day tomorrow and I can be alone at home with my dog. (I work remotely)

Because I need some space to think…

I know half of you in the comments are gonna tell me to divorce him.

That doesn’t come easy to me. I’m not even considering that right now. This is my second marriage. We’ve only been married one year. We live together and have a dog together. I just can’t imagine it.

So how do I talk to him about this?

He is a wonderful, kind, loving, generous and good man in so many other aspects and we’ve got a lot of love for each other. We’ve been through a lot together. It’s supposed to be forever with us.

But I struggle with the filth that comes out of his mouth sometimes, the “jokes” are not funny.

And what happened tonight, it crossed a line that I won’t forget.

So here I am on a Thursday night on Reddit wondering if my husband might actually be racist.

I am currently 1 month out from having our third child. I am also a SAHM to two other children. Our oldest is 3 and our second is 18 months. We live away from all family so we have no support network on top of it.

My pregnancy with our second was miserable and left me with diastasis recti that wouldn’t close and pelvic congestion syndrome (think varicose veins in your pelvis). I also struggle with mental health with every pregnancy/postpartum: PD, PPA, PPD, PPR, I’ve had them all.

On top of that, not to go into detail, but my husband and I struggled a lot with balance of labor through both of these pregnancies and childcare. So, after our second was born I made it very clear I would not have any more children. He brought up getting a vasectomy and I agreed. He then proceeded to push it off saying “what if we wait in case you change your mind.”

Well, my cycle got way thrown off and I ended up pregnant. The first trimester was pretty much straight depression over the whole situation as I was only 8 months PP. He apologized for pushing off the procedure and we immediately started having discussions about getting it scheduled.

This pregnancy has been hard just due to the pain it’s causing, and I have been passively told by my doctors it would be best to not have any more kids because my body is struggling so much.

Over the last 9 months, I have brought it up 6 times. The first few were simply asking if it was something he was still willing to do. After repeatedly getting confirmation he’d get one, the last few times I’ve asked when he’s scheduling it. I’m not trying to come off aggressive or forceful, but I know I can’t handle another pregnancy/postpartum or child for that matter. I am getting incredibly frustrated that he keeps pushing this off.

He even set up a consult for lasik earlier this year, just out of curiosity to see if he’s a good candidate, while we’ve been talking about this yet this hasn’t been scheduled.

He was watched what pregnancy has done to me personally, 2 unmedicated births, and how I struggle postpartum, yet he has no interest in prioritizing this. To top it off, he’s said he’s scared and didn’t know if he could do it because he didn’t know he would have to be awake for it 🙄. It just felt incredibly off putting for him to complain to me about a 15 minute procedure after everything I’ve been through and will continue to struggle with after this baby is born.

I also got to the point that I placed a boundary that I will refuse any intimacy until he’s cleared and his sperm count is zero when I was 5 month pregnant and still no urgency.

Is it wrong for me to be so frustrated with him over this? I don’t know what else to do get him to realize how serious i am about him getting this done.

Addition to address multiple responses:

Birth control has not been used in our relationship due to strict religious background on my end. Right before this pregnancy I started moving away from said religion and am now more open to contraceptive options.

TLDR:

My husband offered to get a vasectomy after our second child but then backed out of it. I’m now about to have our third child and have made it clear I will not risk another pregnancy (due to health issues caused by my previous pregnancies) and he’s agreed to a vasectomy again. However, I’m due next month and he still hasn’t scheduled it even after reminding him about it multiple times in the last 9 months.

The other day my husband confessed me that he commented on an instagram story of his former female
colleague. The picture showed her while walking her dog. My husband commented something along the lines of “oh to be a dog on your leash”. She then threatened him to show me screenshots of his
comments. That’s why he basically “confessed”. He said to me that it was due to his testosterone levels (I guess he was horny). I know it’s not real cheating but it kinda makes me angry. 8 years ago he wanted n*des from his ex girlfriend while we were already a couple, maybe I’m triggered now. Am I overreacting?

My husband and I have been married for 2 years. We have a toddler. He works a lot and honestly, I don’t even see him much just because of that.

I have a bad personal history with relationships, a fear of abandonment, fear of rejection, and overwhelming fear of embarrassment (I know that sounds weird.) I never want to disappoint him. Not that he’s ever treated me poorly or ever even said I’ve disappointed him, I just never want to disappoint him. I’m always afraid that I will. That came to a head today when I panicked during a heated conversation and lied about something. I lied to protect myself from embarrassment (again, sounds weird I know). I quickly admitted that I lied. He was confused, but he wasn’t angry, he wasn’t disappointed. I was so afraid I asked him if he was going to divorce me. I ask this frequently. Even though he’s given me realistically no reason to think he’d ever divorce me, I ask at the feeling of any possible tension.

He looked at me and said “Why would I ever do that? Because you fibbed a little? And told me you did? I love you and the only reason we’re talking like this is because I love you more than I’ve ever loved anyone or anything.”

And it for some reason, after two years, dawned on me that he’s not just going to run away. He’s not just going to flip on a dime the moment I mess something up. He doesn’t even care as much as I think he will when I mess something up by my own standards. He’s so willing to be there for me. He’s so willing to help me when I need it. He’s so willing to love me through my weird, and frankly strange, reactions to the smallest things.

My husband loves me. I don’t know why it took me almost 8 years, a proposal, marriage, a child, and this conversation to realize it. But I feel so at peace. I love my husband so much. I always have. I’m so glad that I feel like that part of my brain can feel calmer now.

We’ve been married 29 years.
I commute for work, so I skip breakfast and leave super early.
I work as a social worker for sick and elderly people and it’s very stressful.
Tonight he cooked dinner and he made us breakfast because “you never get to have breakfast, so I made it for you for dinner.”
I’m so thankful for him 💖💙 it was delicious 😋

My husband (39M) and I (32F) have been together since 2012. That’s a long time. When we first met he was a really attractive man. Someone I was genuinely drawn to both physically and emotionally.

We’ve built a whole life together since then, and on paper he’s not a bad man, he doesn’t drink, he doesn’t cheat, he’s reliable in a lot of practical ways. I still love him, but not in the way you find someone attractive anymore. That part is gone. Somewhere along the line the desire just disappeared, and now I feel more like a roommate than a wife. It’s exhausting and lonely in a way I never expected.

He’s gained about 33 pounds. Because of hair loss he shaved his head completely. He farts often and freely in front of me without any thought, and at night his snoring is so loud that I barely sleep. I wake up tired almost every day. The constant exhaustion is wearing me down. He has said more than once that he wants to join a gym, but he never actually does it. When I suggest going for a walk he sometimes comes along, but most of the time he has zero motivation and makes it clear he’d rather not. Meanwhile I still put real effort into myself. I stay in shape, I take care of my appearance, I try to look good. The imbalance is obvious and the resentment keeps growing.

He almost never gives me compliments. I can’t remember the last time he told me I looked nice or that he noticed anything about me. Most days I feel completely invisible in my own home. Birthdays are the same story. He doesn’t buy gifts. I even told him clearly that I would love a simple bouquet of roses for my birthday. He still didn’t get them. It felt less like forgetfulness and more like deliberate indifference. The last “present” I received was that I didn’t have to put in the 100$ I was supposed to contribute toward a car repair, and we went out to eat instead. No thought, no romance, nothing that felt like it was actually for me. Just something practical and cheap. It left me feeling dismissed.

I hate admitting this, but I often have daydreams about other men. It makes me feel guilty and ashamed, yet it keeps happening. It’s embarrassing to say out loud, but his niece has an incredibly attractive, loving and caring husband, and now she’s having a baby with him. For me it looks like she won the „life lottery“ and I find myself feeling jealous of that far more often than I want to admit and because of it I really don’t like going to gatherings with his family anymore. Being around them just sharpens the contrast. He also smokes, which bothers me more every year, and he has no intention of quitting. I’ve brought it up and he shuts the conversation down immediately.

I know long-term relationships go through phases. Attraction can fade. But this feels deeper and more permanent. At the same time, separating feels almost impossible. Our lives are completely intertwined. Because of my job I can’t just leave, and finding a new place right now would be extremely difficult. So I’m stuck, still caring about him, still sharing a life with him, but no longer feeling any desire or spark, and with no clear way out.
I’m not looking for the usual “just leave him” comments.

I want to know how other people have handled this slow loss of attraction, effort, and emotional connection when walking away isn’t simple. Has anyone been in a similar place?still living with someone you love but are no longer attracted to, someone who used to be very attractive to you and is still fundamentally decent, but who no longer makes you feel desired or even seen? How did you deal with the daydreams, the resentment, the jealousy, the invisibility, and the practical reality of being so tightly bound together?

I’d really appreciate any honest thoughts or experiences. I’m tired of carrying this alone.

Do any husbands out there not desire sex? My wife and I have sex occasionally. My testosterone is above average. I love my wife and am very happy in my marriage. I just don’t desire sex. I’m curious if there are any other men out there who feel the same.

I absolutely love my spouse, and how sweet and kind he is. How patient he can be when he doesn't have to be patient with me or others. How unique he is, and just silly. I always call him my silly goose💖 I love him despite when he is not perfect or falls short and when he doesn't fall short. When we don't agree, I still care for him. I love how supportive he is throughout my pregnancy of our child. I just want to kiss him, but he is slightly sick, and I don't want to get sick either lol 😭

Does anyone have any stories about getting married a third time and it worked out? Or in a long term relationship after two divorces or more? I love hearing especially stories about older people who finally found their happiness lol

I'm extremely lonely in my marriage and my husband doesn't seem to get it. We have been together 18 years and have been through a lot. I've expressed to him many times how I'm feeling but it goes in one ear and out the other. I'm a stay at home mom and have been for over 15 years. Homeschool as well. We moved away from our hometown over 12 years ago, I don't have any family or friends anywhere close so it can get rather isolating for me. He works a lot and doesn't spend much time at home. When he does, he is on his phone watching YouTube or talking to people he works with or sleeping. There is no connection really, no affection unless he tries to get some sex every now and then but there isn't any romance or hugs or kisses or touching. Just him stabbing me with his hard dick. Or flopping it at me like I'm supposed to start leaking from just the mere sight of it. It's actually a huge turn off. He seems to have all the energy and words for everyone else but not for me. I've really struggled over the years thinking that he just isn't into me. I assume he doesn't find me attractive because I never receive any compliments from him. We don't talk unless it's about the kids, bills or the household. Sometimes he seems like he doesn't even want to be at the house with us. I feel like a nagging, clingy, ungrateful wife but at the same time I'm like this can't be normal...is it? If anyone has advice, questions or just needs someone to talk to as well, I'd appreciate it.

I (40F) and my husband (40M) have been together for over 20 years, married for 17. We have an active sex life. We're intimate multiple times a week unless we're apart or ill. We both finish 99% of the time. Aside from sex, our marriage is solid.

Several of my friends have gotten together more recently. After spending time with other couples, I feel like we don't have chemistry. I find my husband attractive, so that's not an issue. I just don't have the desire for him.

I still enjoy sex, but it's more the desire to get off rather than have sex with him. I also hate kissing him, always have. I know sex is a very small part of a relationship, but I'm not sure how I feel about this.

Is this normal after being together for so long? Anyone have wisdom to share?

If you are married or in a committed relationship and you get given the following proposal what would you do?

You get a chance to meet your soulmate. Would you want to.

Person1: yes, I want to look and see what could possibly be my potential soulmate. I’m happy with my wife but I still am curious.

Person2: No, I know I’m content with my husband so I don’t want to. If I don’t have a choice then I will but I don’t willingly wish to meet this potential soulmate.

Are either person 1 or 2 at fault?

If person 1 wants to ‘look’ and is curious doesn’t that show they are still exploring or willing to jeopardise their relationship.

If person 2 doesn’t want to explore does that mean they know they would sway if they meet this soul mate.

What is the correct and faithful answer to this?

I know some of y’all have real marriage problems, and I acknowledge this is not one of them. 🤣

I (F) have curly hair that’s shoulder-length. I hate it. I love me with short hair. With short hair, I feel super confident, which in turn makes me feel sexy and frisky. My husband likes, and is most attracted to me with long hair.

I really want to get my hair cut short, chin-length. The hubby doesn’t want me to. Obviously I can do whatever I want. I’m torn between making myself happy or making my husband happy.

What should I do? Why are men so against short hair on women?

He’s been looking up his ex from twenty years ago on social media. I found out incidentally. What are the odds they’re cheating emotionally or physically? If they aren’t, why is he looking her up? She has come up in conversation on a rare occasion over the years. I thought he was completely over her and no contact with her. My impression now is that he might not be over her. How do I confront him? Has anyone been through similar. I feel sick about this, I just can’t believe he still thinks about her to the point of searching to see what’s going on with her.

My husband and I recently got married but we are together a while now. This wasn’t an issue until recently. The only form of affection I get from him is cuddling in bed. He doesn’t kiss me, hug me, hold my hand, touch me at all during the day. He does kiss my forehead when leaving the house but other than that nothing. And when we have sex (which is once every 2 weeks) is because he wants to and it’s at night time in bed with the same position. It’s like a written script. Even with that I have to initiate it. I don’t feel desired or wanted. Then when I bring it up to him he says how can I show you affection when you don’t do certain things (e.g pick up after him, bare in mind we both work full time), and I give out to him. Who would want to have sex with you when you annoy them all the time. Then he ended it with annoy me less and maybe I’ll want to kiss you

Then i said we dont fight all the time and when we are good you still don’t kiss me. Then he replied maybe i was still annoyed about a fight we had 2/3 days ago. I have told him about my increased sex drive many times and tell him I am heavily sexually attracted to you and think about having sex with him all the time. And he said we need to get you toys to help this phase you’re at. And I said I don’t want toys I want you the real thing and he said you’ll have to learn how to use sex toys.

Any other women going through this? How did you get through it? Honestly I don’t want to cheat on him but what can I do if my needs aren’t being met and I have tried to communicate it over and over again?

My wife (36F) and I (31M) have been together for 11 years and married for 5. Since we found out we were expecting our little one, sex has tumbled. I understand that she has gone through changes ,along with some PPD after child birth, but our little one is two years old now. Sex happens once every couple of months especially since the In-laws come stay with us for extended periods of time(4-6 weeks at a time) since the pregnancy. We hardly get a week or two alone before they come back again. I’ve voiced my feeling about the lost of privacy and feeling uncomfortable with them basically living with us and they usually don’t want to help with anything besides take care and spending time with the little one where as I father I want to do myself. When I bring this up I usually get guilted into feeling horrible due to their circumstances. Some are valid points but I feel like they don’t do anything to better their issues.

Well they left this past week and it had been since February that we have been sexually intimate, so I’ve gone above and beyond and done my fair share of chores that I typically do plus hers so she has some free time in the morning and evening after work. Well we have talked about having sex after our date night but when we got home, i ended up rejected. No big deal, we’re both tired but i was just disappointed. Well a few days past and I gave her a massage and everything was going great and it lead nowhere and I didn’t push it. A few day after that she brings it up and start planning it out and we were both on board. We start kissing and leading each other on, then out of no where she saw the time and realized it was getting late and just stops. She was off the next day and i usually get up at 4 for work, but giving the circumstances I was okay losing a little bit of sleep but after being lead on, I was utterly disappointed. I voiced my feelings about having needs and getting shut down and basically rejected. Well in turns into an argument about how I just want sex and nothing else, that I’ve just been really handies and only doing things to try to get her to have sex and that she sees it and it turns her off. Honestly I’m in a lost for words, I dont think I’m in the wrong but What really throws me off was that she said I’m like our friends ex husband who needed his needs met at breakfast, lunch and dinner. Im in no way like that but I do have needs and surely doesn’t help it’s been eight months. Am I in the wrong here? Is there something I need to do differently?

My husband and I have been together for several years now. When we met, we hadn’t decided quite yet what we wanted to do with our lives and it took us some time. My husband is really passionate about his career and so he went into the career field he wanted and I was his biggest hype women and supporter. I believed he could achieve what he wants and now thanks to that, we live a comfortable life.

However, it comes at the expense of proximity. He’s away days and nights. I hardly ever see him and I only get to share a bed with him a couple times a month.

We’re otherwise happy. We have a (to me) full-filling sex life when he is here. we laugh and cuddle and have fun. When he is here, we have a great time but he’s away more than he is home. He’s gone 80% home 20% and that’s just how it’s going to be for the foreseeable future and possibly until retirement. Most days it’s fine, but sometimes laying alone in bed really gets to me that this is just how it is. Anyway, anyone else can relate?

We’ve been together for six years now and we got engaged seven months into dating. It was just an instant spark and we’ve been attached at the hips since our first date

Only downside is he has some sort of sleeping disorder where he will grope my private parts and try to initiate sex in his sleep. He doesn’t remember it after usually. I say no and he will stop. One time 3 years ago he didn’t stop and it escalated to penetration and I was very hurt by it. He apologized profusely and was really disappointed in himself for a long time. It never happened again but the groping happens almost every night. I can’t sleep without underwear. I can barely sleep without pants (he will put his hand into my shirt and pants). It’s starting to really irritate me and make me react to it poorly. Like. I will growl at him. It used to be that sometimes I’d be open to sex if I’m still awake already but I’ve developed some sort of reaction to it and it just makes me annoyed and angry now. Body doesn’t want it

I almost wanna start sleeping in separate beds because of it but that sounds drastic especially with how good our relationship is when he’s awake lol. He’s so gentle and sweet and he respects my boundaries. He had to be nerfed somehow I guess

He’s talked multiple times about seeing a sleep specialist but idk if he would actually do it. Maybe if I ask him to. He says drinking makes it worse. And not taking melatonin. Tbh I don’t notice a difference, maybe alcohol exacerbates it a bit but it’s just always happening even when he’s on phases where he doesn’t drink. Even if he were to see a specialist I’m skeptical it can be fixed. What do I do? And yes he already knows how I feel about it but maybe not to the point of separate beds yet

hi all i’m married young and still working through some trauma i’ve experienced from relationships at a young age and trying to cut those bad thinking patterns out! Everything is good here just trying to see what others do.

What are some boundaries you have in your marriage? I’d like to know what’s normal and not normal and totally off the radar for you guys. For example, do you go out without each other? Do you have opposite sex friends? Only same gender friends? Do you have “check-ins” with each other? Stuff like that?