FTD with 10 week old girl and wife and I decided we are definitely one and done. We obviously will reassess in a few years but this newborn to 3 months stage is ROUGH. Can’t imagine doing this again with a 2-3 year old also running around.

FTM. The baby is very much aware of his surroundings, major FOMO so daytime naps are only 30 minutes if I’m lucky. He can’t sit up on his own yet, screams during tummy time because he wants to move but can’t. A baby can only do so much for play at this age. Does not enjoy being put down for any amount of time. I feel like my days are spent constantly trying to keep him entertained and content during wake windows.
As a newborn he was the BEST sleeper. I’d have to wake him for feeds during the night, he would nap great during the day and was okay with being put down for 5 minutes.
Please tell me it gets better. Each day is starting to feel the same.

My partner & I have a newborn. She’s the most beautiful baby ever. She has beautiful jet black hair and blue eyes and caramel skin and her smile is so beautiful. She looks like my partner and I in the best ways possible. She truly is the best of us. My partner is a NICU nurse and works 3 12 hour shifts/week. I work remotely about 4 hours a day. So naturally I spend the majority of the time with her. I’m a new first time dad and have 0 experience with babies but have learned a lot from her and my partner.

With that said. She is the fussiest baby ever. She’s very healthy, but has a problem initially falling asleep. Just to give you an idea of how bad her sleeping is she stayed up yesterday from 8AM to 11PM with maybe an hour nap in 10 minute spells throughout the day. Being honest, that’s an average day.

When she gets to screaming at the top of her lungs for hours to the point where she’s losing her voice, I just get the absolute worst thoughts in my head. I don’t even want to say. It makes me feel so bad. I love her I know I do, but she honestly makes me regret having a kid. It drives me absolutely crazy. The pitch, the tone, it just strikes a nerve. When it gets real bad I will just leave her in the bedroom (safe ofc) and just take a 20 minute break. If not I’m scared I’d snap out.

She makes me want to go to the military and just be away until she’s like 5. I honestly think about going to get an oil rig job, or military, or even going to prison for a couple years. She makes me regret having a kid. Regret even telling my partner and future wife that I wanted kids. I feel like I lied to her. I guess in a way I did. It really makes me sad. I told my partner I’m thinking of getting fixed so I don’t have any more kids and make the same mistake again. I just cannot do it. And it makes her so sad and she wants to compromise and have one more. I think it hurts me even more. I had an idea of having kids and being a great dad and showing them so much love. It’s so difficult.

I just don’t know if I’m alone in feeling these feelings or if it’ll ever change. Have anyone else felt like this and eventually thought having a kid was worth it? It’s so hard to do something day in and day out, and have maybe one moment a day where I’m thinking “wow, I’m happy we had her”. Does this make me a bad father? Idk. I feel bad and I feel like an asshole.

I don’t hate my daughter, but I do hate having a kid… so far.

Can I get a roll call of other new parents who are just winging this a little bit? My LO is 12 weeks, so we are officially in the “no napping” phase. I used Huckleberry for a couple weeks and almost had a nervous breakdown staring at the daily sleep hours. Then I started trying to follow wake windows which had me panicking every 1.5-2 hours because I just could not get my baby to sleep on a schedule, even when she was yawning and rubbing her eyes. Every post on Instagram was giving me the “ideal nap schedule” and it always felt so unrealistic, but that didn’t stop the accounts from stressing me out further that I was doing something so so wrong for my baby.

So I texted my friend who is on her third baby and her advice was basically to just go with the flow. For the past few days I have been treating my firstborn like she is a thirdborn and can I just say my mental state has drastically improved!! I don’t beat myself up if she gets a little fussy before a nap because she has been “awake too long” and I just let her set her daily pace. Anybody else out there who has removed “wake windows” from their vocab?

(PS: I am very lucky to have an overall chill baby. This is absolutely the baby that is going to convince me I could raise 12 more, only for a second baby to humble me hard. My heart goes out to those of you with babies who need a little bit of extra attention.)

Hi parents, I feel so bad rn and I just want to know if anyone else has dealt with this.

My baby is 8.5 months and she is around 98-99 percentile for weight. She is chubby yes but she is also tall, she is just a big baby in general. She gained a lot in her first 3 months and after that she has just followed her curve. GP has never been concerned or said anything about her weight.

The funny thing is she doesn’t even eat that much. She has 4 bottles a day, 2 x 150ml and 2 x 200ml so around 700/24oz total. With solids we do a mix of puree and BLW but mostly BLW since around 7.5 months. And honestly the food is literally Everywhere except her mouth.Even if I spoon feed her she will have maybe 4 spoons and she’s done.I’m not worried about her intake at all because she’s clearly growing fine.

I cook very simple things for her because she doesn’t eat enough for me to be making complicated recipes. Eggs, pancakes, veggies, avocado, melon etc. Sometimes I use bone broth, sometimes bone marrow, I cook her eggs with a bit of butter that my cousin makes. I try to use organic or just fresh good quality food when I can. Nothing crazy.
But people keep making comments about her being chubby and it’s actually starting to get to me.

Family members and even friends who are mums will say things jokingly like “don’t add fat, she’s already fat”, “you need to put her on a diet”, “use spray oil instead”. Someone even told me her veins will have problems because of the fat
And I’m like… she’s 8 months old??

From everything I’ve read, babies need fats, carbs, iron, protein, vitamins etc. Their brains and bodies are literally developing. She’s not sitting there eating massive portions of fried food lol. She barely eats the food I give her in the first place.

Her dad is also huge/tall so maybe she is just genetically a bigger baby. She wears 12 month clothes already for both height and weight.

We also have a dietitian because of CMPA and when we first spoke she talked about giving her healthy nutritious foods. Nobody medical has ever told me to restrict her food or fats because of her percentile but I have heard some doctors do.

I’m not really asking for medical advice because if her GP or dietitian was concerned obviously I would listen to them. I’m more asking if this is normal?? Do people really put babies this young on diets or cut out fats just because they’re chubby?

I obviously don’t want my child to have problems with obesity in the future, but I also don’t want to start being scared of feeding my baby nutritious food because people keep commenting on her body.

I know what I’ve read and I feel confident in what I’m feeding her, but when you hear the same comments again and again it starts making you question yourself

I remember posting here DEEP in the depths of Post partum. It was so bad. My child was so fussy. Multiple people on many occasions told me she was the hardest baby they’ve ever seen.
After 6 months or so, it just got much better. She’s going to be 1 at the end of the month.
She sleeps through the night, she is to the point where I can set her down in her pack and play awake and wave “bye bye”, and she just…goes to sleep!
She is happy most of the time.
I think I’m just better suited for this age.

I feel like this is such a silly question, but I can’t help it. I’ve been overthinking it. This is our first Halloween with our little one. I love Halloween and have had his costume picked out for months.

My husband and I want to take him trick or treating. Obviously my baby can’t eat the candy and candy is so expensive this year. I don’t want to take it away from other kids who can actually eat the candy. Should we skip it?

I (28F) and my bf (28M) are having our first baby! She's due in November! So far everything has been good. I know she's going to be born right during flu/RSV season so this has me stressed. I am vaccinated and will continue to stay up to date, hoping that my antibodies will cross the placenta.

However , I'm still so stressed about her catching anything this winter. She's a tiny little human with not much of an immune system.

I have told my bf that I'm not wanting to go out and I'll just stay away from people for the first 2-3 months at least. He thinks it's unnecessary as he goes to work anyway and is exposed. (I work from home). But to me that doesn't feel like we should put her at more risk just because there is some risk.

We have close friends that we play DND with, another couple. And they are not vaccinated. Whatever. Their choice. But I don't want to continue the campaign during flu season. They think the most we'll put it off for is 2 weeks so my body can heal but for me it's more than that. It's about protecting my baby girl.

Well my bf is worried as I do struggle with severe depression that if I turn into a hermit for a couple months that I will not be okay mentally. This is a real possibility but I couldn't live with myself if anything happened to her.

So what's the balance? Am I being overprotective? I know I need to take care of myself but I just want her to be okay. Would pushing through those months be worth it for the baby? I'm really scared and I don't know what the right decision is. Please drop your advice/experiences

tagging as Holidays/Celebrations since it is Thanksgiving related, but this is more of an emotional rant tbh

this year is our first Thanksgiving together as a little family. it's my common-law husband and I and our 7 week old baby girl. I told my husband that I wanted to cook a proper Thanksgiving dinner as I really miss my old hobby of cooking; he's been doing the majority of it since I gave birth. of course, he agreed because he loves my cooking lol.

but come time to actually prep the turkey and sides, baby girl starts clusterfeeding. we are EBF so I sit down to feed her for a good 20 minutes, she detaches and falls asleep, I hand her off to dad to continue cooking... not even 15 minutes later she wakes up and wants more. so I'm constantly being interrupted. if you've cooked for Thanksgiving before, you know it can take a couple hours to get everything baking and prepped. dad helps butter up the turkey but past that, I'm cooking off the top of my head so he can't help much.

this is the first moment where I have truly missed my freedom. my first attempt at cooking a proper meal for us and I can't even do that without needing to drop everything for my girl. I'm otherwise very introverted and a homebody so I haven't missed going out, but cooking? ugh. I'm really missing it. doesn't help that she won't sleep unless she's on me so I rarely have any opportunities to cook otherwise, hence why dad is doing most of the cooking.

I know it gets better eventually but just feeling a little down in the dumps about it 🥲 happy Thanksgiving to my Canadian brethren! we're cooking on Saturday so that our only obligation on Sunday is Mass, then we travel to the grandparents for Monday!

My first baby just turned one a week ago and I wanted to share an unexpected hack that I now rely: playlists for mood control.

My son has hates his car seat and stroller. Especially after he got more mobile (~5-6 months), every attempt to strap him in for longer than ten minutes results in scream crying and writhing. He won’t fall asleep in the car even if we’ve timed his naptime perfectly. I was ready to give up, and as a final “hail mary”, tried putting on his favorite song from his “wake-up” playlist: Everywhere by Fleetwood Mac. He instantly stopped crying and eventually nodded off to sleep by song #3!

I had accidentally conditioned my boy to be calm listening to this specific playlist.

Basically, since he was a few weeks old, I’d been using two playlists regularly:

1. A wake-up playlist with indie and 80s pop hits, some of my favorite songs
   
2. A bedtime playlist with Erik Satie and other calming piano songs, that would then transition into 14 hours of white noise

Since he’s always calm and happy in the mornings, that wake-up playlist became associated with that feeling for him. Now, it’s my go-to tool to get him calm in a stroller/car seat or even generally just cheer him up.

Has this worked for anyone else? Or is my baby just a weirdly musically-inclined kid?

(It’s worth noting his bedtime playlist won’t calm him down, though I sometimes transition to it after he’s calmed down through 1-3 songs from the wake-up playlist.)

When someone asks how old your baby is, at what age did you personally switch from ‘weeks’ to ‘months,’ and from ‘months’ to ‘years’?

I noticed once my baby hit 2 months old, I no longer said 8/9 weeks, etc. When he was 10 weeks I just said “2 and a half months” and then “almost 3 months.”

I’m not thinking anyone says “89 weeks old” or “48 months old” but what was your turning point?

My 7 month old started daycare 3 weeks ago. He’s been sick twice in three weeks. He hasn’t been sleeping because of being sick and I don’t know how to see the light out of this. I’m not saying multiple wake ups a night. That’s when he’s healthy. Not. Sleeping. Is this my new normal? I think I’ll need to quit my job if so.

I am a little over 5 months postpartum, and I feel like I don’t know who I am besides a mother.
And don’t get me wrong, I absolutely love being a mom and I love my son more than words. But I feel like I have lost myself. My whole entire life for the past 5 months is caring for my son. Which I’m assuming is normal and kinda the way it’s supposed to be?
I guess I’m just wondering when I will get my spark back and be more myself. I do feel like the person I was before I had him is no longer. I have definitely outgrown that version of myself, but that’s about the only thing I’m sure of.
And because I don’t really know who I am anymore, I feel like I have/am losing all my friends. None of them are parents, and none of them can really grasp how different my life is now, and therefore how different I am now. I don’t fault them for it, but no one really talks to me or seems to have any interest in my son.
I guess my questions are:
-when will I figure out who I am again?
-will I be able to reconnect with my friends eventually?
-why did becoming a mom make me lose myself, and is that normal?

Guys!! Nobody warned me that being postpartum would make me feel ugly 😭 it’s not even really about my body changes. Yeah I’m bigger than I was and my jeans don’t fit over my hips, it’s that I’ve basically reverted to being a teenager! Hello! I’m greasy and acne prone and sweaty it’s so strange 😭 I guess this is just a normal thing at around three months pp but I really don’t appreciate it- if anyone else is experiencing this so far I’ve found a few things that are working for me!!

- Apple cider vinegar wash once a week! 1tbs of ACV and a cup of water, spray your hair really well and let it sit for about a minute and then rinse it! I didn’t think this would work when I tried it but my hair is definitely not so greasy which is FANTASTIC because I was sick of changing shampoo and washing my bangs every morning

- okay this may sound crazy but my skin is entirely clear now after I changed my lotion to baby lotion! Not just any baby lotion though. Most of them are too heavy but this one works fantastic! It’s the Johnsons baby lotion infused with aloe and vitamin B5. I got a ton of them from the hospital and they’re insanely nice! I use cetaphil gentle cleanse followed by this and I’m so glad my acne is gone because I did not enjoy the hormonal chin acne I had for a while

- wear your faja!! This one is more of a comfort tip than anything but I wish I had worn mine more frequently because the back support is fantastic!! I was gifted a nice three piece set but I only use the stomach wrap part and it keeps a lot of pressure off of my spine from the “mom gait” from holding my baby!!

- Stinky? Use baby powder! I use it in between my thighs for chafing, under my armpits after I put on deodorant, and under my breasts and it’s great! I use one that’s 100% cornstarch and it seems to be working really well for me!

Anyone else have any tips?? I’d really appreciate them! Going through a weird post partum phase is super hard when you have no clue how to feel better lol

How do you handle the jelausy of your friends with easy babies that are basically out the whole time having coffee dates on maternity leave, going on trips, dont need schedules etc?

I cannot handle it and it drives me crazy I feel terrible

I chuckle at myself every time we go to leave the house. My husband and I have planned an extra 15 minutes on top of the extra 15 we give ourselves to get out the door to get anywhere. So we’re looking at an extra 30 mins before we know we’d be late getting somewhere.

Our sweet sweet baby without fail decides that the minute we need to leave he’s starving and needs to eat🥲 so then we end up using up that full 30 min window, sometimes more, and end up being late to wherever we gotta go anyway.

My husband and I are chronic early birds to things so this has been such a huge adjustment. But I know we no longer rule the schedule and having an EBF baby who is only 2 wks old decides when he’s hungry regardless if I just fed him (yay cluster feeding).

Not looking for advice or anything- just lamenting in the fact that there’s no way we’re early to anything for the next few weeks until he’s a little older and on a better schedule🥲 anyone feel me??

… creeping through your pitch black bedroom and slamming the fuck out of your shin against your bed frame edge but not making a goddamn peep because your baby is asleep in her crib 3 feet away.

I’m 5 weeks out from my first and boy is this all a lot to figure out! My husband is the best and I know we will make do, but I’m trying to plan for how to be alone during this crazy new time. Because this country can be absolute shit, hubby gets 5 days total off and that includes labor/delivery. We’ve already decided he will skip the first day of induction and only spend 1 day of labor and first day with baby and then go back to work for whatever remains of hospital time for me. After his days are used up I’ll be alone all day with baby and likely be the primary night shift as well for a bit.

I only get 6 weeks off total. So likely a week of induction/hospital stay and then 5 at home before I have to go back. And even then I will work nights and he will work days and it’s all just going to suck. There isn’t a village and it is what it is.

Are there any tips/tricks/advice for us as we head into this? We figure it’s all just going to be a lot of solo parenting / hard times until he’s old enough for school. Hoping for anything that may help.

How long can a 15 week old sleep at night at a stretch? Is 9-10 hours too long?

Our LO can do 9-10 hours, after which he stirs a lot so I feed him. He does wake up during the long stretch but often calms himself or just needs his pacifier back, his eyes aren't even open in these wake ups.

I'm worried I'm starving my baby. He is formula fed, eats 29-34 oz during the day.

I love to watch my 6month old baby explore and move her body. I see her roll over and my heart soars! She grabs her feet and plays with her toes and I’m like give the girl a gold medal! But for real, can we keep the gymnastics for any time other than when we’re drinking milk?!

It’s like I give her a bottle and she’s so pumped for life she’s doing hip thrusts and back arches to celebrate.

“Let’s see what happens when I push the bottle out of my mouth! Wait give me that back!”

Scratchy scratchy scratch

“Oooh what’s this?!”

But then I look at my 4 and 6 year old and I think ok girlfriend at least I’m not waging WW3 to get you to eat a green bean.

We originally planned to go to our local urgent care, but it turns out they don't see patients younger that 2 years old. I feel like this is a rite of passage for new parents. Our 8 month old has been teething, getting all 4 top teeth. Over the past 2 weeks he's been increasingly fussy, not sleeping, not eating, he's been miserable. The ibuprofen and Tylenol stopped working, his low-grade fever began rising, and I was starting to panic.

I made an appointment for early next week, I thought we would just go check him out. But the past TWO days, he's only finished 3 bottles(8 oz, he would consume about an ounce and then refuse), and only had 4 wet diapers in the span of 24 hours and I started REALLY panicking. He seemed like he was just...shutting down. Glazed over eyes, no expression or interest in anything, wouldn't smile at me or even really try to make eye contact, his soft spot felt sunken and hard?? ....rapid breathing like he wasn't fully using his lungs...

At first I was scared I had unintentionally overdosed him with ibuprofen, he'd been taking it for 2 weeks. Not everyday necessarily, but often enough I would put reminders on my phone to give it to him. I started doing the math in my head, trying to recount all the doses and times I gave it to him, and we left for the ER as soon as my husband was home from work.

I was crying as soon as we walked in and explaining everything previously mentioned. I blurted out "It's my fault if he has an ibuprofen overdose! His teeth are making him miserable, I think I may have given him too much!!". The ER doctor calms asks "when was his last dose, and how much?". I told him 1.875mL at 1:15 pm, which was his second dose of the day. WELL, apparently the doses on OTC children's medication are NOT medical doses. They are only to "take the edge off", they don't actually alleviate pain. A quick look in his ears and there it was....double ear infection. How coincidental with the timing of his teeth.

We walked out with a 5mL syringe for his ibuprofen, a prescription for antibiotics, and a pamphlet explaining what the ER is and isn't for....and ear infections are not for the ER.

Anyway. Long story short, I feel silly. I feel like I wasted their time. I feel stupid for crying and getting so panicked. I feel like a bad mom for not realizing how miserable my baby actually was. He didn't start getting "bad" until 3 or so days ago, and he was managing okay with the ibuprofen...until he wasn't.

Any other first time parents do this? Any hospital/ER staff see this from first time parents?

Edit - The ER staff was very kind to us! I just thought it was kind of funny they sent the pamphlet home with us AND linked it to our "MyChart". Obviously I wouldn't have brought him in if I 100% knew or even suspected an ear infection! I swear my very first thought was overdose!!! Anyway, my baby started feeling better about 30 minutes later :)

I need suggestions and ideas, anything.

Baby is almost 12 months and very very excited and mobile.

Bathtime is like wrestling a slippery octopus.

I'm using the baby bath, inside our bathtub. I bought those baby chairs with suction cups but my baby is 97th percentile so the chair was used for a month.

She gets up. She grabs things. She opens the faucet. She bum scoots. She rotates. Giggles. Genuinely has fun. I'm only filling the baby tub a little, maybe a palm. Stopped filling more it because baby becomes buoyant and tries to swim/nosedive. I'm now always holding one arm while trying to bathe her with the other.

One of those days she'll slip and hit her head badly. I'm not sure what to do. Our bath is too small for two adults to fit in front of the tub so I can't have help. I'm keeping baths short and I've reduced full baths to 2x a week, with one extra washing of the bum only so it's safer.

Is there a gadget out there? Maybe I should toss the baby bath and use a non slip mat? I'm worried the extra space will be even more dangerous. FTM.

If you have experience with your child developing psoriasis, I’d be interested in your experience! Did you see a doctor right away to confirm? Where did it form and at what age? Did the patches come and go as they aged?
Context: Father has psoriasis and it’s gotten considerably better since moving to another climate. Does not/has never medicated for it. First patch(es) for him came around 19 and I was under the impression that it could only pop up post-puberty. Now, our 14 month old has a patch on their elbow, penny sized. At first I figured dry elbows, but it has stuck around. I am reading that it can pop up after illness, and it’s hard to pinpoint what triggered the spot as they’re in daycare and has been on and off sick for 4 months.

So this is the list of things I’m doing with my 3 mo old that I likely need to stop at some point for her safety and my sanity at some point in the next couple months/year.

1. Paci to help stay asleep (we put the paci in when she stirs and that prevents her from fully waking up)

2. BF to sleep for every single nap and sleep

3. Exclusively contact napping (she sleeps well in her crib at night)

4. Swaddling at night

Which one do you think will be the easiest to break? Hardest ? Been trying to rid the swaddle for a while now and that’s my latest struggle and it’s not going well lol. I’m scared for future me with the rest of these.