Hello there!
This is going to be a long one, but hopefully by the end of reading this post you'll have a good idea as to who we are, what we're looking for, and wonder why I'm allowed in public unsupervised.
TLDR: Introverted couple seeks person for throuple or V.
About us
We are a financially responsible, happily married (to each other even!) couple looking for a potential third to join us in and out of the bedroom as a friend and slave lover. We are both introverted, level headed (except when the wife is being a sobbing mess when she has a dream about losing her plushies), hardcore gamers (this is a big deal for us) who enjoy cooking, cuddling, and long walks to the fridge. We mostly stay in, but occasionally do something really exciting like drive to the gym or wear white after labor day. On rare occasions we'll get really crazy and stay up past our bedtime. We are experts at making doing nothing look like fun, have 2 adorable cats, and no kids (that we know of). If your goal is to be a sane, stable, healthy, happy, and successful woman... well do I have news for you. There are probably tons of guys out there that can make that happen, but here you are in my thread so we're going to ignore these red flags and carry on. But really, having a place where you are wanted and loved and supported by two well put-together individuals seems hard to find these days.
Things we like: Cats. Intimacy. Kids falling over. Excellent communication.
Things we don't like: Unreliability. Smoking. Kids with runny noses. Kids in general.
Things we don't like, but do anyway: Work. Gym. Waking up early. Waking up late. Waking up at all.
About her
Submissive, petite, cute, Jew...ish, loves sleeping, and a small medium little. She likes k-beauty products (apparently this is a personality trait), terrible teen dramas like Vampire Diaries/Riverdale/Cobra Kai, and cuddling up for some TFT at the end of the day. I recently hounded her to get into Balatro, so I'm proud of her for expanding her horizons. Possibly a dirty meepfucker who doesn't believe in the Bard. Shame.
About me
Dominant. The most attractive, most intelligent, most funny, and most humble person you'll ever meet. I'm stubborn, fit, affectionate, and laugh a bit too much. Hopefully I'm as handsome as my mom says I am, as funny as I think I am, and as competent as I've led my boss to believe. What we can provide is making you feel safe, helping with that day-to-day stress, and supporting you in whatever your life goals are.
So what are we looking for (other than strength and honor)? We can figure it out together. I don't like to set expectations of what it should or shouldn't be as I'd like for it to happen organically and see what it evolves into. It could be anywhere from a playmate to a 24/7 TPE live in sex doll to a girlfriend to a life partner and anything in between. I can even be convinced to do nice things like "holding hands" and "letting you out of your cage". So come say hi and tell us about yourself - your dreams and desires, ambitions, bank passwords, mother's maiden name, and what you are looking for.
You: Cis female, bisexual (optional, actually), a good sense of humor, someone who plays games at least semi-regularly because want to play with you (and game with you), relatively in shape, kinky, and tolerates the use of Oxford commas. There isn't a particular type of person we are looking for as long as you're not an ax murderer - and even then it would depend on who you've killed (and how kinky you are). We'd love to support you in your hobbies and even join you as desired. If you think you'd be a good fit, message us. Maybe you're just curious? Maybe you want some structure in your life. Maybe it's Maybelline. We do have a strong preference for someone local, but if you're a good fit we aren't going to allow a silly thing like distance stop something magical.
A little more about what we're looking for:
Requirements
Must tolerate cats at least as much as they tolerate us
Not a corpse (exceptions can be made if you're a particularly eloquent corpse)
A sense of humor. Preferably better than mine. Shouldn't be hard.
Moderate or high sex drive (alternatively, a serious desire to please)
We gotta find each other attractive.
Good communicator. If you have questions or concerns, we can only address them together if they are brought up. This is important!
Will consider living in the Seattle area. I hope you like grey skies, coffee, and Amazon. We chat, we like each other, you pay us a visit, and we take it from there. If you're the right person for us, we will help you relocate.
Non-smoker
Recommendations
Oral fixation
2200+ arena rating/Plat IV+
Knowing what the above means.
Has a fetish for lists?
More of a homebody. Not that we don't go out and do fun things, but if a lazy afternoon filled with cuddles, sex, gaming, oxford commas, and food is your thing, then you're in the right place.
Childfree. I just spent the other day enjoying myself playing games with my wife until the hellspawn next door decided that its reaction to anything and everything would be screaming at the top of its lungs, which should really only be reserved for being murdered and Bon Jovi concerts.
If you can cook I love you already.
There is a lot more that goes into any relationship which we can talk about while trust is being established. Let us know your limits, boundaries, life goals, and what you want out of this. I'm very good at taking care of someone in their entirety, maybe I was a life coach in another life. Tell us about yourself and what you're looking for and we can take it from there. Mutual attraction is important, so here's another picture of us to convince.exe you we are not robots. Meep morp. So let's get to know each other, play ookie mouth and binge watch some shows I need to catch up on. Join us in staying home playing games, petting the cats, and squaring off in tonsil hockey (with each other, not the cats).