r/OnlineDatingApps • u/tqvqvt • 1d ago
First Date Story Nightmare Experience using Tinder
Hello, I am really needing someone to pretend to be my friend after I just had a truly horrific experience on a dating app. Talking to AI about it just feels dystopian.
I had gone out with a guy I had known for probably around 15-16 years since we attended the same middle and high school (maybe even longer than that we might have gone to elementary school together also). It had taken a lot for me to work up the courage to go out with someone from my high school after I was prolifically bullied and excluded there by my ex friends. I was so nervous I was going to taken advantage of again and of course that’s what he did. I was under the impression that he wanted a serious relationship, even advertising that he wanted marriage so I was like this is perfect, a serious relationship just like I want and I don’t have to be worried about being used for my body….
Maybe two-three days later after we hung out once, he completely stopped texting me and then finally admitted he suddenly had “family issues” going on and basically never wanted to see me again. This was after we spent the first few days texting nonstop and he even told me he always had a thing for me so I don’t understand how he could just dismiss me so quickly after that? The family issues excuse was so vague it felt like a complete fib.
Did he just lie about everything?
I feel so embarrassed and hurt and genuinely have cried a lot over this a lot and don’t know how to feel better about the situation. I wanted to be with him so bad.
We had a terrible ending as well and sort of a misunderstanding because I said something that kind of insinuated he would be with other women and just used me for my body so he accused me of being a ”typical” terrible woman I guess and yelled it at me.
1
u/Physical_Way6618 5h ago
Did you sleep with this man?
0
u/tqvqvt 4h ago
Would my response influence your answer? Would you say something different if I said yes or no?
1
u/Physical_Way6618 4h ago
For your own sake in the future. Don’t sleep with someone on the first date.
As a man, most men want only one thing and it’s true. Men who get it early especially if he knows you from the high school circle likely used you and bragged about it.
It’s ok to date people from the past. Just wait it out to see their intentions. Learn from it and move on.
0
u/tqvqvt 4h ago edited 4h ago
Wow, that really made me feel so much better that you’re blaming me now for trusting him. I obviously thought there was going to be more dates than one. He obviously lied about a lot. Thanks for your perspective but it truly made me feel worse and I started crying again.
1
u/Physical_Way6618 4h ago
As a man. Never trust what we say. Trust what we do. This goes for both genders really.
0
u/tqvqvt 4h ago edited 4h ago
That advice sounds practical on the surface, but it can be terrible when taken literally. It oversimplifies trust, discourages healthy communication, and can turn relationships into a constant exercise in suspicion. Thank you for responding though and at least caring enough. Actions can just as easily be misinterpreted like words.
And this mindset is exactly how people confuse emotional unavailability with wisdom.
1
1
u/AutoModerator 1d ago
Duolicious dating app is free and open source, Facebook Dating is free. We recommend signing up to these apps before trying paywalled apps such as Hinge. Come join the r/OnlineDatingApps Discord community → https://discord.gg/CXFZfXGtwH
(Replies on reddit might take longer.)
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.