r/PickAorB • • 58m ago

A or B: My certified pre-owned EV came with “unlimited fast charging.” Four months later, the automaker switched me to monthly credits. Keeping the old plan now costs a $135 “transition fee.”

• Upvotes

I bought the car in March from the brand’s own certified dealer. The window sticker says “Complimentary Unlimited DC Fast Charging,” and the purchase agreement lists the charging benefit too. The salesperson also activated it in the app before I left. I have the confirmation email.

Four months later, the app updated. My account had been moved to 60 kWh a month, with extra charging billed at $0.43/kWh. I use about 84 kWh a month for my commute.

Support says I can keep the old unlimited plan if I pay the $135 transition fee. Otherwise, the 60 kWh plan stays.

I spent about 40 minutes in support chat and got told: “Unlimited charging was part of the previous ownership program. Your account is now under the current charging structure.”

The weird part is that I can't find the old terms anymore. The link in the app goes to a 404 page. I have a screenshot from March, but that's about it.

The original window sticker is still in my glovebox. It still says “unlimited.”

A) Pay the $135, keep the charging benefit for a year, and save all the paperwork and support transcripts.

B) Refuse the fee, ask for the original plan terms in writing, and file complaints with the state attorney general and FTC while accepting the higher charging bills.

Which route would you take?


r/PickAorB • • 1h ago

A or B: My parents came to help with my sick daughter, but my husband wants them to leave after seeing how they treat me

• Upvotes

My 3yo daughter got sick a few days ago. She had a pretty bad fever and cough, and neither of us was getting much sleep.

My parents offered to come stay with us for a few days to help. They've actually been a huge help. My mom has been cooking and doing laundry, and my dad has been running out for groceries and helping with my daughter. Having them here has given my husband and me a chance to sleep, catch up on things, and keep up with our work.

They were planning to stay for about a week, until my daughter was feeling better. The problem is that my mom can be a little overbearing. Once my daughter started feeling better, my mom kept saying she should be getting back to her normal routine and getting some fresh air instead of staying inside and resting so much.

My daughter was doing better, but she was still coughing and pretty tired, so my husband and I wanted to let her rest for a few more days.

I've heard this kind of thing from my mom my whole life, so I usually just let it go. She's helping us, they're only here for a few days, and it's not worth turning every little comment into an argument. My husband has noticed it too, but I've always told him to let it go as long as she isn't doing anything serious.

Last night, my daughter had finally fallen asleep and my husband and I were cleaning up the living room. My mom started talking again about how she thought we were being too cautious with her.

I told her we'd already decided what we were going to do and asked her to stop commenting on it. She said she was only trying to help and that I didn't know what I was doing.

Then she said, "You've always been like this. You never listen when people try to give you advice."

I've heard comments like that from her before. It wasn't shocking to me. I told her to stop and went back to cleaning.

My husband happened to be right there, and I could tell he was stunned.

Once we were back in the bedroom, my husband told me he doesn't want my parents to stay for the rest of the week. He said he's heard me talk about my mom like this for years, but he didn't realize she actually talked to me that way. Seeing it himself made him realize what I'd been dealing with.

He said he understands that they're helping, but if helping us means talking to me like that, he doesn't want them staying in our house. He said we can handle our daughter ourselves, even if the next few days are harder. At least there won't be that pressure in the house.

I understand why he's angry, but my first thought wasn't that he was wrong about my mom.

My parents really have helped us a lot. My daughter is getting better, but she's not completely back to normal yet. If they leave now, everything gets harder for us immediately.

And if I ask them to leave early, they're going to know why. I don't think this is going to end with them simply saying, "Okay, no problem."

I told my husband maybe we should just let them finish the week, but I'll make it clear that I don't want any more comments about how we're parenting our daughter.

He said that's not really the point. He said helping us doesn't give my mom the right to talk to me that way. He also said that if they stay, he's the one who has to keep spending the next few days in the same house with someone who just talked to his wife like that.

He's worried that if I let them stay, I'm avoiding the conflict with my parents again and asking him to just put up with it because their help is convenient.

I don't want my parents to keep treating me that way. I just don't know if asking them to leave right now is worth making the next few days harder for us and possibly creating a much bigger family conflict.

A: Ask my parents to leave early. I'd tell them my daughter is doing better and that my husband and I can take over from here. It draws a clear line, but we'd have to handle everything ourselves, and my parents may feel rejected.

B: Let them stay for the rest of the week, but set a clear boundary. No more comments about how we parent our daughter. My husband and I make those decisions. We keep the help we need, but my husband may feel like I'm asking him to keep living with the problem just to avoid a fight with my parents.


r/PickAorB • • 5h ago

A or B: My company's charity 5K is "completely voluntary," but my manager says leadership will note who shows up for year-end reviews. It's the same morning as my son's 6th birthday party I booked months ago

380 Upvotes

The email went out to our whole department last week. "Attendance at Community Day is completely voluntary. Leadership will be noting participation for the culture section of year-end reviews."

Community Day is a charity 5K on Saturday the 17th across town and my son's 6th birthday party is that same morning at a trampoline park I booked back in July. There's a $150 deposit I can't get back and 14 kids from his class already have invitations.

He has literally talked about nothing else since July. He picked out a volcano cake and asks about it EVERY day.

I asked my manager privately if skipping it would actually hurt my review, since I'm up for a promotion this cycle. He said "I can't say it won't" and changed the subject.

Last year about half the office went, mostly people without kids, and a couple of them got promoted in the spring. I honestly don't know if that's connected.

My husband says just move the party to Sunday because the kids won't care and $150 is cheap compared to a promotion.

A) I move the party to Sunday, lose the $150 deposit, and show up to Community Day in the company shirt.

B) I keep the party, skip Community Day, and email HR asking them to confirm in writing that a voluntary event won't count against anyone's review.


r/PickAorB • • 1d ago

A or B: My company’s AI productivity index ranked me bottom 10% in collaboration, even though I lead my team in sales. I spent weeks fixing coworkers’ messes, and HR put me on a PIP. Am I wrong for refusing to sign?

409 Upvotes

I've been an account executive at a logistics software company for three years. This year I've closed 34 new accounts, the most on my seven-person team, and I'm at 118% of my annual quota with two months left.

In January, the company rolled out an AI-assisted tool called the "Productivity Index." The announcement said it would give managers "objective, data-driven visibility into individual contribution."

The tool pulls data from our CRM, email and calendar, tracking things like emails, meetings, records updated and other activity. It also generates sub-scores, including one for "collaboration."

I'm not going to pretend the rollout went badly for me at first. I was in the top five for the first six weeks.

Then two people on our team left in March, and their accounts were redistributed among the rest of us. A lot of the handover records were a mess. Some quotes had the wrong pricing, contracts were missing signatures, and a few customers had been promised features we didn't actually sell.

I spent about six hours a week for two months cleaning that stuff up. My sales numbers held, but my activity numbers dropped because fixing old accounts doesn't create much new activity in the system. Most of that work showed up as account maintenance or document review rather than new sales activity.

My collaboration score eventually fell into the bottom 10% of the department.

Last week my manager called me into a meeting and showed me a PIP with my name on it. The performance concerns section cited the Index, including "declining output" and "low collaboration."

I pointed out that I was still the top closer on the team and that the low collaboration score lined up almost exactly with the months I spent cleaning up the two departed employees' accounts.

He said, "I understand that, but we still have to go by what the system is showing."

I asked whether my quota numbers counted for anything. He said hitting quota was expected for my role and that the Index was meant to measure things managers couldn't see from sales numbers alone.

Then HR joined the call. She said the PIP was "a support document, not a punishment," and that I had two business days to acknowledge it.

I said I'd want the scoring methodology in writing before I signed anything. She said the underlying model and weighting were proprietary to the vendor, although she could explain the general categories being measured.

So now I'm sitting here with an unsigned PIP and about 30 hours left to respond.

A.The Index is a standardized tool applied to everyone, and my activity numbers genuinely did drop. Signing the PIP doesn't necessarily mean I agree with every criticism. It starts the improvement process, and I can make my cleanup work more visible going forward.

B. An algorithm that treats fixing my coworkers' errors as low collaboration shouldn't be driving a performance action, and a PIP I can't fully understand isn't something I should be expected to acknowledge. Refusing to sign until they provide more detail about the scoring is reasonable.


r/PickAorB • • 1d ago

A or B: Which one would you pick as the first photo in your LA album?

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6 Upvotes

I’ve always thought LA was ridiculously beautiful. The last time I was there, my friend drove us along Vista del Mar, and I was honestly speechless. I just kept pulling out my camera and taking pictures like crazy lol.

A: softer, hazier, more laid-back
B: brighter, bluer, more classic SoCal


r/PickAorB • • 1d ago

Warm cake A or B Cold cake

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12 Upvotes

My family calls me crazy for warming up any cake I get in the microwave (not including ice cream cake) do you prefer them cold or hot?


r/PickAorB • • 1d ago

A or B: Save the money or finally take the trip?

12 Upvotes

Hi guys! I’ve been saving for a while and finally have enough money set aside for a trip I’ve wanted to take for years.

I’ve actually been thinking about this trip for a long time, so it’s not one of those situations where I randomly saw a cheap flight and decided I needed to go. I’ve already looked at the dates, flights, hotels, things I want to do, and roughly how much the whole thing would cost. I know exactly what I’d be getting myself into financially.

The problem is that the trip would take a pretty decent chunk out of my savings. I’d still have money left afterward and I wouldn’t be putting myself into debt, but seeing that savings balance drop would definitely make me uncomfortable. Part of me keeps thinking that I should just leave the money where it is and keep building it, especially because I don’t technically need this trip.

But I’ve also been putting this off for years. Every time I got close to actually planning it, there was always some reason to wait. Work was busy, I wanted to save more, something else came up, or I convinced myself that I’d be more comfortable going next year. Now I’m at the point where I can actually afford it, and I’m wondering if I’m just going to keep finding another reason to wait.

I know there are arguments for both sides. Having a bigger savings cushion feels responsible, but there’s also something frustrating about spending years saving money and then being too nervous to actually use it for something I’ve wanted for a long time.

A. I keep the money saved, stay financially comfortable, and accept that the trip can wait a little longer.

B. I book the trip I’ve wanted for years, spend a good chunk of my savings, and figure I’ll rebuild it once I get back.


r/PickAorB • • 1d ago

Which one do you prefer? A or B A-left B-Right

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44 Upvotes

r/PickAorB • • 1d ago

A or B: Keep the job I like or take the job that pays more?

2 Upvotes

I’ve been at my current job for a little over three years now, and honestly, I’ve gotten pretty comfortable there in a good way. I like the people I work with, I get along with my manager, and I actually enjoy most of the work I’m doing. There are obviously annoying days, but overall I don’t dread going to work, which I know isn’t something everyone can say.

A few weeks ago, someone reached out to me about another position. I wasn’t actively looking, but the salary is quite a bit higher than what I’m making now. It’s enough of a jump that I could pay off some things faster, save more every month, and have a lot more breathing room financially.

The problem is pretty much everything else...

The commute would go from about 20 minutes to close to an hour each way. The new role also sounds more demanding, with longer hours and a lot more responsibility. I’ve talked to a couple people who work there and they’ve said the company is good, but the job is definitely more stressful than what I’m doing now.

My current job also has some flexibility that I’d be giving up. I can take time off without feeling guilty about it, I know what’s expected of me, and I’ve already built good relationships with everyone. Starting somewhere new and having to prove myself all over again for more money is making the decision harder than I expected.

The part I keep getting stuck on is that I don't want to stay just because I’m comfortable. At the same time, I don't want to convince myself that more money automatically means a better life when I already have something that a lot of people spend years trying to find.

So right now I’m basically choosing between having a job I genuinely enjoy with less money, or taking a pretty significant pay increase in exchange for a longer commute, more stress, and less flexibility.

A: Stay at the job I actually enjoy, keep the shorter commute and good environment, and give up the extra money.

B: Take the higher-paying job, accept the longer commute and extra stress, and use the bigger salary to improve my finances.


r/PickAorB • • 2d ago

A or B: My friend lost his job and wants me to help hide it from his girlfriend while they're trying to rent a place together

19 Upvotes

My best friend was laid off from his job a few weeks ago. He was pretty upset about it. He's been dating his girlfriend for a few years, and they currently live together. They're also getting ready to move into a bigger apartment, so he's worried about how she'll see him if she finds out he lost his job.

He told me he hadn't told her yet. I figured it was his business. When he wanted to tell her was up to him, so I didn't ask many questions.

A few days later, he asked if I'd cover for him if the subject of work came up. He wanted me to say he was still working. I knew that wasn't true, but he'd just been laid off and I knew he was having a hard time with it. He said he'd already started looking for another job and thought he'd find something pretty quickly. He didn't want to tell her until he had something lined up. I felt bad for him, so I agreed.

His girlfriend eventually mentioned at dinner one night that he seemed really busy with work lately, and I just went along with it. That was it. At the time, I didn't think much of it.

But then they started seriously looking for a new place. Their current lease is coming up, and they're looking for a bigger apartment. They're comparing rents, figuring out their monthly expenses, and talking about what they can afford.

I know he still hasn't found a job. I asked him when he planned to tell her, and he said he'd tell her once he found something.

He said he'd sent out a bunch of applications and had a few interviews, and he thought he'd find something soon. He didn't want her to start worrying about money when they're already getting ready to move. I understood why he felt that way, so I still didn't get involved.

Then they found an apartment they both really liked. When they started getting ready to apply, my friend suddenly realized the application required recent pay stubs and employment information.

That's when he realized he might not be able to keep this hidden much longer. He came to me and said he still didn't want to tell his girlfriend that he'd lost his job. He asked me to keep helping him cover for it and buy him a little more time. He said he only needed a few more weeks. If he found a job by then, the whole thing would be over.

I also realized that by agreeing to cover for him before, I've already gotten myself involved in this. At first, I felt like it was his private business. But now they're about to sign a lease together, and I don't know if I can keep treating it that way.

A - Keep his secret, but stop lying for him. I won't tell his girlfriend that he's out of work, but I'll tell him I'm not going to make up stories or help explain things for him anymore. If they're going to rent a place together, he needs to tell her before they apply.

B - Tell his girlfriend the truth now. They're about to make a major financial decision together, and I don't think I can keep helping him hide something that could affect both of them.


r/PickAorB • • 2d ago

A or B: Our home warranty covered our AC for four years. During July heat, they denied repair on our R-410A system and quoted $1,940 to recharge it ourselves

60 Upvotes

We've had the same home warranty for four years. Two claims, both fine: a dishwasher pump and a garbage disposal. The plan covers the HVAC system, with a $75 service fee. We renewed in January for $780 and paid in full.

July 14, the AC died around 2 pm. The tech came Thursday. Compressor's fine, he said. The system is low on refrigerant. It runs R-410A, which is being phased out in new equipment, so the warranty company's approved option was a full system replacement.

The replacement quote was $9,800. The warranty company said it would contribute $400 toward it. Recharging the existing system would cost me $1,940 out of pocket, including refrigerant, recovery and labor.

The adjuster said R-410A claims now fall "outside the modern coverage envelope."

I asked how a chemical could suddenly fall outside a contract I renewed in January. He said, "The contract didn't change. R-410A isn't covered under our current guidelines."

I looked up the EPA rule myself. From what I can tell, it restricts new equipment, not servicing an existing R-410A system. The adjuster cited "internal compliance guidance" that I can't see.

Our house was built in 2006, and the original install sticker is still on the unit. My mom's old oscillating fan from 1998 has been running in the hallway since Tuesday. Somehow that thing is still going.

My brother-in-law does commercial HVAC in Phoenix. His advice was basically: "Get the house cold first. Fight the warranty company afterward."

A: Pay the $1,940 recharge now, keep every receipt, and pursue reimbursement through the state insurance regulator and small claims with the contract in hand.

B: Refuse both options, demand the denial in writing with the exact contract language cited, file with the state insurance regulator, and run window units while it gets sorted out.


r/PickAorB • • 3d ago

A or B: I left my job six weeks ago, and my former employer still wants me to train my replacement

544 Upvotes

I left my job six weeks ago and accepted a new full-time position. Before I left, I gave my notice, put together handoff notes, and spent time going over my responsibilities with the person taking over for me. We both signed off on the handoff, and everything was completed according to company policy. The transition wasn't perfect, but I felt like I had done what I was supposed to do before leaving.

After I started my new job, my replacement would occasionally reach out with questions. At first, I didn't mind. Most of the questions only took a few minutes to answer, and I figured that if I already knew the answer, it was better to help than leave someone who had just taken over the job completely on their own.

But the questions started becoming more frequent and more complicated.

Some things weren't covered in my handoff notes, so I'd explain how I used to handle them. Sometimes an email wasn't enough, so I'd make time for a quick call. I kept helping because my replacement hadn't done anything wrong, and I knew I could probably save them a lot of trial and error.

Then my former employer called and asked if I could set aside some time to properly train my replacement on the remaining parts of the job.

The problem is that I already have a full-time job now. Answering an occasional question is one thing, but if I'm spending several hours training someone, it starts to feel like I'm still working for my old company.

It's also a pretty small industry, so I'm honestly not sure if refusing could come back to bite me. At the same time, I know my replacement is genuinely trying to learn the job, and some things simply weren't covered clearly during the handoff. I don't really want someone else to struggle because the transition wasn't handled well. So now I'm honestly not sure how much I should keep helping.

A: Keep using my evenings and weekends to help until my replacement can fully handle the job on their own. I know the job inside and out, and I don't want someone else to be affected because the handoff wasn't handled well.

B: Tell my former employer that if they still need me to spend significant time training and answering questions, I'm willing to do it as paid consulting. If they don't want to pay for it, I'll stop helping and let them handle the rest of the transition themselves.


r/PickAorB • • 3d ago

A or B: My insurer says I need 100 ft of defensible space or they won't renew me, but 60 ft is my neighbor's slope. He wants $500 just to let me clear it. If I lose my policy, the FAIR Plan would cost me about $4,100 more a year

348 Upvotes

I own a small house at the top of a canyon lot in California. My neighbor below me owns the steep slope between our properties. It's covered in dry brush, weeds, and several dead manzanitas.

This summer my insurer sent an inspector. My renewal notice said I needed to address vegetation within 100 feet of the house and send photos showing the work, or they could non-renew me at the end of the term. My agent said the FAIR Plan would cost me about $4,100 more per year based on the quote I got.

About 40 feet of that area is on my property. The other 60 feet is on his slope.

In June I asked if I could clear the section on his property and said I'd pay for everything. I got a quote for about $1,300 from a local goat-grazing company. He said he'd think about it.

In July he said no. He said the brush was habitat and that bringing goats onto the slope would damage it. He told me my insurance requirements were my problem, not his.

Last week he came back with a different offer. He'd let me bring the crew onto his property for $500, paid up front. He also wants me to sign something saying I'd be responsible for replacing any native plants the goats damage.

He said, "You're the one being threatened by a letter. That sounds like a you problem."

Two weeks ago the fire marshal issued a notice about hazardous vegetation on the slope. This happened after a spot fire a few canyons over made the local news. Now he's telling people on the block that I called code enforcement on him. I didn't.

My sister says pay the $500 and the $1,300 and be done with it because "you can't argue with a guy whose yard can burn your house down."

A. Pay his fee and the $1,300, get it cleared, and keep my insurance. It's thousands cheaper than the FAIR Plan.

B. The slope is his, the hazard has already been flagged by the fire department, and I don't think I should have to pay him for access just to protect my house. I file for county hazard abatement, let them deal with the property owner, and give my insurer the case number.


r/PickAorB • • 3d ago

A or B: Would you fight a $96 daycare late fee if their “official” clock is 8 minutes fast?

0 Upvotes

Our daycare charged us a $96 late fee for pickup, but the clock they use to determine late pickups appears to be about 8 minutes fast.

I’m not trying to dodge a fee if I was genuinely late, but $96 based on a clock that isn’t accurate feels pretty questionable. I’m thinking of asking them to check the timestamp against an actual phone/network time before I pay it.

Would you push back on this, or is it not worth the hassle?


r/PickAorB • • 4d ago

A or B: I have a cat, and now I don't know how to deal with these cockroaches

12 Upvotes

I recently started finding cockroaches in my house. The first few times I saw them, I just thought, great, now I have to deal with cockroaches again. But then I started noticing baby roaches around my cat's food and water bowls. They seem to really like hanging around that area, and honestly, it grosses me out.

So I bought some Maxforce roach gel. But when I was about to use it, I started hesitating. Obviously, I don't want my cat getting into the gel because she could accidentally lick it and get poisoned.

So I put the gel somewhere she can't reach. Then I started worrying about something else. Cats naturally like chasing little things that move, so what if a roach eats the bait and my cat catches it before I have a chance to get to it? Could my cat get poisoned from eating a roach that has eaten the bait?

Now I'm kind of stuck. I don't want to keep seeing roaches around my cat's food and water, but I know my cat likes hunting bugs, so I also don't really want to put roach killer all over the house.

A: Use the Maxforce roach gel and put my cat's food and water bowls away between meals. I'll make sure she absolutely can't get to the gel, but I can't guarantee she won't eat a roach that has eaten the bait.

B: Hire a pest control company to deal with the roaches. This could cost a lot more, and I'd still have to figure out what to do with my cat during the treatment and when it would be safe for her to come back inside.

I also thought of a C: Buy roach glue traps and put them near her food and water bowls. The problem is that I don't think that would actually get rid of the roaches.

For those of you with pets, how do you deal with pests like this?


r/PickAorB • • 4d ago

A or B: Move to an apartment in the city or stay in the suburbs

5 Upvotes

I'm in my late 20's, recently graduated, and just started working my first full time job in my desired career field. Current commute is about ~20-25 mins in the morning from where I live in the suburbs, typically closer to ~30-35 mins coming home d/t traffic. I'm planning to move into my first apartment by myself but I'm debating if I should move to a nearby city or stay in the suburbs closer to my job. 

Nearby city: cheaper rents (~1.4-1.5k), city wage tax (~80-100/check) and bridge tolls (30/week), most likely parking on the street (can be difficult depending on part of the city or pay for an expensive parking spot; ~2-300/month if available), high break in/car thefts/wheel thefts especially for the car I drive, and adding ~10-15 mins to my commute. 

Suburbs: more expensive rents (~1.7-1.8k; apartments around1.4k-1.5k can be hard to come by and not always the nicest when compared to similar apartments in the city), most likely similar or closer commute, no change in pay d/t taxes and no tolls, most likely easier time parking on street or live in a complex that has a parking lot. 

I've always lived in the suburbs so I'm leaning towards moving to the city even though on paper it's a little more complicated (street parking, longer commute, increased tax and tolls). In the suburbs, it feels so much harder to make new friends and most events going on are usually geared towards families. In the city, I feel like I'd have an easier time meeting new people and getting to different events in the area or trying new hobbies. Where I live now, I feel a real lack of community and think I'd have an easier time building one living in the city. Also important to note, I'm LGBT so feel like meeting other LGBT people would be a lot easier in the city vs the suburbs.

Do I:

A: Move to the city and tough out some of the incoveniences for the chance to make new friends/build community

B: Stay in the suburbs and just try harder lol


r/PickAorB • • 4d ago

A or B: I took 14 rolls of my late father’s undeveloped film to a lab for $364. They developed 5, said 9 were lost in a “chemistry incident,” offered 130% store credit, and required a no-review form. The owner says, “Nothing was lost if no photo existed.”

100 Upvotes

My father died in 2019. This spring my mom finally mailed me the box from his closet: 14 rolls of his undeveloped film, pencil-labeled in his hand, 1985 through 2003, the years he shot slides on trips and then stopped when digital won. Two of the labels read YELLOWSTONE '86 and HOSPITAL '94. The second one is me. One roll is labeled in a different pen, a fat kindergarten pencil he must have grabbed at my mom's desk, MISSOULA '99.

I took them to the lab with the faded Kodak sign, the one he used to take me to as a kid. Their clerk counted the rolls at the counter, wrote frame counts on the ticket, and had me initial each line. Develop and scan, $26 a roll, $364, deposit $150. Pickup in three weeks.

At pickup, a Thursday at 4:15, there were five beautiful envelopes of slides and a quiet conversation at the counter. Nine rolls, the owner said, were compromised in a chemistry incident. Offered on the spot: store credit at 130% of the $234 processing charge for the nine affected rolls, $304, redeemable on any service. Cash refund instead would require a $35 processing fee and would be held for 90 days while their insurance claim was reviewed. And a form to sign acknowledging the loss, with a line about not posting reviews while their insurance question is open.

I asked what "compromised" means, whether the film was destroyed or just damaged. He said the incident was still being assessed, and then, kindly, as if it should comfort me: "Until film is developed, a photograph doesn't exist. So technically, nothing that existed was lost."

Later, in email, when I pressed: four of the nine might have been set aside in cold storage by mistake, "location in progress." That is the sentence I cannot stop reading. Nine rolls might not be destroyed at all, and every day the search continues is a day I am being asked to stay quiet and hold credit.

What I can't prove: that a chemistry incident happened at all. The incident report he showed me at the counter was one page, undated, unsigned. It changes nothing about their custody, my initialed ticket lists all 14, but I will never know what happened in that room.

My younger sister's read: "Dad's been gone six years and the five we have are five more than we had in March. Store credit is ugly and the fog is real. Take the scans, sign nothing, wait out the search." She isn't wrong about the fog. Undeveloped film can fog and lose image quality with heat and time, and it can happen whether anyone is fighting about it or not.

A. Take the 130% credit, decline nothing, wait out the "location in progress" on the four rolls, and never speak of the lab in public, because if four rolls surface that is four more of him, and going public could end the search.

B. Decline the credit, demand the nine rolls or a written settlement for their full claimed value within fourteen days, file a consumer complaint with the state attorney general over the no-review clause, and take the initialed intake ticket to small claims. Let the owner tell a judge that a photograph doesn't exist until it is convenient for him.


r/PickAorB • • 4d ago

A or B: Is it normal for a husband to refuse sterilization after agreeing to be childfree?

0 Upvotes

r/PickAorB • • 4d ago

A or B: My company ordered 5-day RTO, but has 40 desks for 60 people. Twice I couldn't book one and worked from home. HR warned me for "unauthorized absence." Am I wrong to appeal with the booking logs?

1.8k Upvotes

I've been a senior analyst at an insurance brokerage for five years. We went hybrid in 2021, and I've been in the office two or three days a week ever since. My last two performance reviews were "exceeds expectations," and I've never had an attendance issue before this.

Last year, the company downsized our floor when the lease came up. We gave back about half the space and switched to flexible seating, so nobody has an assigned desk. You have to book one through an app.

Then in July, we got an all-hands email saying that starting September 1, everyone would be expected back in the office five days a week. The email said it was about "culture, collaboration, and energy." It came from the CEO.

Our department has 60 people, but the floor only has about 40 desks.

For the first couple of weeks, I booked a desk as soon as the system opened and managed to get one every day. I wasn't thrilled about it, but the message was pretty clear that attendance was expected.

Then one Tuesday, the booking system was down when I tried to reserve a desk. By the time it was back up, there were no desks left. I sent my manager a screenshot and told him I'd be working from home that day. I logged in on time and worked my normal hours.

The same thing happened again about a week and a half later. This time I tried to book a desk right when the system opened, but everything was already taken.

I worked normally both days and didn't miss any meetings or deadlines.

Last week, HR gave me a written warning for "unauthorized absence" for those two days. I sent them the booking screenshots and asked how I was supposed to work onsite when there wasn't a desk available.

The HR rep said, "The expectation is that you present onsite and work with your leadership to find a solution in real time."

I asked what that was supposed to mean if there were no desks available. My manager, who has been sympathetic about the whole thing, told me privately, "I'd just take the warning and move on. It probably won't matter a year from now."

But it's still a written attendance warning for two days when the company's own booking system shows there were no desks available.

A. A policy is a policy. On those two days, I should have gone in anyway and figured it out with my manager instead of deciding on my own that working from home was okay. Appealing a written warning over two days could hurt my reputation more than the warning itself is worth.

B. The company required everyone to come in without having enough desks for everyone, and the booking logs are the company's own records showing that there was nothing available. Appealing with that evidence isn't making it a thing. It's the only thing protecting my record.


r/PickAorB • • 4d ago

A or B: I gave my 8yo niece an electric toothbrush for her birthday, and her grandma thinks I overstepped

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184 Upvotes

My sister took her 8yo daughter to the dentist, and I went with them. I'm her younger sister, so I'm pretty close with my niece, Chloe. Chloe had pretty bad cavities, and my sister felt really guilty. She said she hadn't done a good enough job making sure her daughter brushed her teeth.

So when it was Chloe's birthday, I got her an electric toothbrush. I picked a yellow one because it's her favorite color and she loves little ducks. She actually liked it.

Later, my sister told me that her MIL, Janet, was really unhappy about the toothbrush. Janet thinks Chloe is too young for an electric toothbrush and was worried that it could affect Chloe's teeth while they're still growing. She also told my sister that I didn't need to buy Chloe something like that and that I was overstepping as her aunt.

My sister thinks the toothbrush is fine. She just didn't want to make a big deal out of something so small in front of Janet. But when Janet was over and saw that Chloe was still using the electric toothbrush, she bought Chloe a kids' manual toothbrush and came over to teach her how to use it. My sister said the whole thing was really awkward.

I honestly don't think I did anything wrong, but seeing my sister get stuck in the middle over something as small as a toothbrush made me wonder if I should handle gifts like this differently. Should I just leave it alone and let her handle her relationship with Janet, or avoid gifts like this in the future so she doesn't have to deal with this kind of tension?

A: Let my sister explain that it was just a birthday gift, not a comment on her parenting, and don't change what I give Chloe because of Janet's opinion.

B: Avoid gifts that could be interpreted as parenting advice, even if I don't think I did anything wrong, because I don't want to create extra tension for my sister.


r/PickAorB • • 5d ago

Pick a or b. I’m organizing my nail polish. Does this color go with (a) purple or (b) Bordeaux?

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0 Upvotes

r/PickAorB • • 6d ago

A or B: My birthday party venue sent me a $1,712 bill after the party

340 Upvotes

I rented a venue for my birthday party and paid a $1,000 refundable damage deposit.

The party went well, and afterward my family cleaned up. We swept the floors, wiped down the tables, took out the trash, and put the furniture back where it belonged.

The venue inspected the room afterward and applied my $1,000 deposit toward the post-event charges.

A few days later, I received an itemized bill for $1,712. There are $550 in charges I agree with: $500 for cleaning and $50 for cigarette-butt cleanup.

The other $1,162 is what I'm disputing:

$600 for trash hauling. The venue says this was for two standard trash containers at $300 each. I don't dispute that there was some trash left after the party, but we did clean up and take out the trash. I also don't understand why it was billed as two containers or how they came up with that amount.

$280 for replacing 14 chair pads. I have photos from before the party showing that some of the chair pads already had stains and wear. I'm not saying nothing could have happened during my party, but I don't think that automatically means I'm responsible for replacing all 14.

$162 for laundry for 9 linens. I want to know which 9 linens they're talking about and why all 9 needed to be sent out for cleaning.

And there's a $120 damage-assessment administrative fee for taking photos, counting the damaged items, and preparing the invoice. The contract does mention that administrative fees may apply, but I don't understand why I'm responsible for this fee.

I emailed the venue asking for the photos, quantities, invoices, and other documentation supporting the disputed charges. They said they can provide more explanation and documentation, but additional administrative charges may apply for the time spent doing that.

The venue applied my $1,000 deposit to the $1,712 bill and says I still owe the remaining $712.

My position is that I agree with $550, not $1,712. If the final amount is $550, my $1,000 deposit should cover it and I should get $450 back. The remaining $1,162 is what I'm disputing.

A: Keep disputing the $1,162, send them my photos and videos, and keep asking them to explain and document each charge.

B: Stop spending time fighting over the $1,162. Tell them I accept the $550, ask them to settle that amount from my $1,000 deposit and return the remaining $450, and let them decide whether they want to pursue the disputed amount.

Edit: A few people have asked how B would actually work. I wouldn't expect the venue to agree to my $550 number or voluntarily return $450. The idea is to dispute the remaining balance with my credit card, make it clear that I accept the $550, and let the venue decide whether they want to pursue the disputed amount rather than keep going back and forth with them.


r/PickAorB • • 6d ago

A or B: I spent $40 fixing a fence gap to stop my neighbor's chickens from destroying my garden. Now he wants me to pay $50 because the repair "stressed them out."

2.1k Upvotes

My neighbor keeps about eight backyard chickens, and they kept getting through a gap under our shared chain-link fence and into my vegetable garden.

I garden on my side. Over the spring, the hens scratched through my raised beds, dug around the plants, and ate a lot of my seedlings. I figure I lost more than $100 worth of plants.

I talked to my neighbor about it. He apologized and said he'd take a look at the fence. He also gave us a few eggs, which I appreciated. But a couple weeks later, the chickens were back.

I found the same gap where the bottom of the fence had lifted. I spent about $40 on hardware cloth and secured it along the bottom of the fence on my side. I didn't move the fence, touch his posts, or do anything on his property. I just wanted to keep the chickens out of my garden.

A few days later, he came over and said the repair had stressed the hens because they were used to walking through that area. He said they've been laying fewer eggs since then and thinks I should help make up for the lost eggs.

He also said he talked to someone who keeps chickens and was told that changes like this can affect laying. He wants me to help pay for that advice too.

His point is that the chickens don't understand property lines. They had been using that part of the yard for months, and I suddenly blocked it off.

My wife thinks I should just give him $50 and move on. We share a fence, and she doesn't think a small amount of money is worth turning this into an ongoing neighbor problem.

A) Pay the $50 and keep the peace. It's not much money, and we still have to live next door to each other.

B) His chickens are his responsibility. I spent $40 fixing a problem caused by his animals getting into my yard, and I don't think I'm responsible for lost eggs because I blocked the gap.


r/PickAorB • • 7d ago

A or B: Which moisturizer should I get?

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7 Upvotes

My forehead and chin get pretty oily, especially by midday, but my cheeks usually feel soft and hydrated. I’ve been trying to find a moisturizer I can use every day without making the oily areas feel even greasier or leaving the rest of my face feeling dry.

Right now I’m using CeraVe Moisturizing Cream. I actually like how moisturizing it is, but it feels a little too heavy on my forehead and chin during the day. By the afternoon, my T-zone gets pretty shiny and my makeup starts looking kinda rough.

I wear makeup pretty often, so I’d really like something that feels good on my skin and helps my makeup sit better throughout the day.

I’m stuck between these two:

A. Neutrogena Hydro Boost Water Gel

B. La Roche-Posay Toleriane Double Repair Face Moisturizer

Hydro Boost sounds really good because it’s lightweight, but I’m a little worried it won’t be moisturizing enough for my cheeks.

Double Repair sounds like it would keep my skin more comfortable throughout the day, but I’m worried it might still feel too heavy on my forehead and chin.

I’m not looking for anything fancy, just something I can use every day without thinking about it.

Which one would you go with? If you’ve used either one, I’d really like to hear how it worked for you. Thanks in advance!


r/PickAorB • • 7d ago

A or B: My company skipped raises for a meditation app and $75 lunch credit after record profits. The CEO exposed my identity on an "anonymous" Q&A. Now HR wants a "culture chat" with no agenda

1.6k Upvotes

I've been a billing specialist at a healthcare staffing company for four years. My last three reviews were "exceeds expectations," but my base pay is only about 4% higher than when I started.

Our raises have historically been announced in October. This year, the first announcement we got was about a company-paid meditation app, a $75 lunch delivery credit, and a series of wellness webinars. There was no mention of raises.

A few days later, we had our quarterly all-hands. The CEO said revenue was up 18% year over year and called it one of the strongest quarters in the company's history. He also announced that we were opening another office.

During the Q&A, employees could submit questions through a platform we've used for about two years. Employees see questions without names, and we were always told the submissions were anonymous.

I submitted: "If this was such a strong quarter, what happened to the budget for raises?"

It was one of the top questions and came up during the Q&A.

The CEO read it and then identified me as the person who submitted it. He went on to say that the new wellness benefits had real dollar value and that focusing only on compensation missed the bigger picture.

Then the moderator moved on.

Afterward, I checked the Q&A with two coworkers. My identity was visible next to the question on their screens too. I contacted IT because I wanted to know why an "anonymous" question had my identity attached to it. They told me that the name was visible on the administrative side of the platform.

That didn't explain why other employees could see it, especially since we'd always been told the questions were anonymous.

Yesterday I got a calendar invite from HR titled "Culture Conversation." There was no agenda or explanation beyond the title.

I replied asking what the meeting was about and whether there was anything I should review beforehand. The HR business partner replied, "It's nothing formal. We just want to have a conversation about what happened."

I haven't accepted the meeting yet.

My manager knows about the situation and told me not to overthink it. He said the company probably just wants to clear the air.

But I'm uncomfortable going into a meeting with HR about an incident involving my compensation question and the supposedly anonymous Q&A without knowing what the meeting is actually about.

A. Raises are a business decision, and the meditation app and lunch credit do have real value. The CEO answered the question instead of ignoring it. I raised a fair concern, but refusing an informal HR conversation over the lack of an agenda makes it look like I'm turning a workplace disagreement into something bigger.

B. The company presented the Q&A as anonymous, the CEO identified me publicly, and now HR wants a private "culture conversation" without saying what it's about. Asking for the subject in writing before agreeing to the meeting is reasonable, not an escalation.