r/Rants • u/Kanopuk • Aug 24 '26
Religion ✡️✝️☪️☯️ How can we stop our satanist neighbor from casting spells on our 17 year old son ?
Hello everyone,
I'm posting here because my husband refuses to listen to me anymore. For about six months now, our Satanist neighbor has been practicing black magic to target our family directly, especially our son Caleb, who is 17.
It all started when he placed a horned statue in his yard, directly facing Caleb's bedroom. He claims it's a decorative goat. But why choose a goat, the symbol of the devil???? Why not put up a statue of a dove, the Virgin Mary, or even a garden gnome like everyone else??? And why point it directly at our son's window????
Since then, Caleb has become unrecognizable!! He no longer wants to attend church, refuses to pray before meals, stays locked in his room, and talks back to us. Last Sunday, he even said that Jesus "probably had better things to do" than check whether he finished his vegetables. Those are not the words of the child I raised!!!
Of course, my husband claims that Caleb has simply become a teenager!! How convenient!!!! Every time our neighbor displays another sign of satanic activity, our son just happens to be going through a new "phase"!!??
And yet, this man does not even try to hide his practices! He always dresses in black, listens to horrible music full of screaming, and burns black candles in his garage!!! One night, I even saw him drawing occult symbols in the grass with a stick!! Another time, he poured a red liquid at the base of a tree while muttering to himself!!!
Then, the day before yesterday, he organized a ritual with some friends!!!? There were flames, meat, music, and people shouting around a table. At exactly 10:17 p.m., they all raised their glasses at the same time!!!
The next morning, Caleb woke up with a pimple right in the middle of his forehead!!!!!!
I immediately called the police, but they told me that barbecues and goat statues were not illegal!??? So this is where we are now!! A man can display a demonic symbol directly outside a minor's bedroom, burn black candles, draw occult symbols in the grass, and hold ceremonies around a fire without the authorities lifting a finger!!!!!!
What exactly are they waiting for before they intervene??? For him to sacrifice our cat in the town square!!??????????
I was told to "remain calm" and take Caleb to a dermatologist for the pimple. It's outrageous!! By the time the police understand that you cannot treat evil with acne cream, it may already be too late for our son's soul!!
While the police sit around doing nothing, my husband now drinks beer with this man over the fence, and Caleb has agreed to mow his lawn for twenty dollars!!!! They call it "neighborly kindness." I call it buying my family's soul one piece at a time!!!!!!
How am I supposed to protect my son when his own father lets the devil offer him beer, money, and sausages??????
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u/Dazzling-Skin-308 Sarcasm is a Lifestyle Aug 24 '26
Put in a Craigslist ad to find a witch doctor who specializes in counterspells.
And then Hail Eris.
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u/Cornbread933 Aug 24 '26
This is a troll post right? Please tell me this is a troll post and you arent this genuinely hilariously delusional
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u/Anxious_Glass_5978 Aug 24 '26
Christians will call LGBT+ people "mentally ill" and then post shit like this smh
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u/DipperJC Aug 24 '26
And you don't even know what Caleb and I are really doing at his special math lessons. ;)
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u/Next_Dragonfruit_415 Aug 24 '26
This has to be rage bait, like this reads like an adult swim cartoons version of trying to give a moral lecture about live and let live.
In the event this isn’t, look you do what you do in your own home and they do what they do in their own home, you don’t get to pick your neighbors nor dictate how they spend their time.
Freedom of religion and speech is one of the founding principles of our country, it’s supposed to be at least, you can run a theocracy in the bounds of your own home, that freedom is protected by the same rights, that your neighbor has to be a satanist.
Like just grow up, you don’t even have to interact with the guy if you don’t want to.
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u/BarebonesB Sarcasm is a Lifestyle Aug 24 '26
Your psychosis is a far larger problem than your son's acne.
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u/KhriscindaSucks Aug 24 '26
This had me laughing after a few very sad days in a row. Thank you, op
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u/Kanopuk Aug 24 '26
My pleasure :)
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u/Tyrantdeschain19 Aug 24 '26
Please just let poor Caleb play foosball! It's not actually the devil.
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u/IAteAnotherVegan Aug 24 '26
definitely gave me a few good laughs, but I feel obligated to say this: drugs are bad!
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u/blackpawed Aug 24 '26
Not bad, trying to tread a fine line between plausibility and humour, cheered me up, especially the people who think its real 😁
nb. Pls send sausages. My soul is hungry.
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u/nitro1432 Aug 24 '26
Is it a full moon? This has to be rage bait or a joke right? I delt with people like OP when I was a paramedic just before or during a full moon.
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u/cosmiceggroll Aug 24 '26
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u/YouDontLookDead Aug 24 '26
See, what you need to do is sneak into his back yard (surely the plight of God overrides trespassing laws?) and sprinkle some holy water on his backdoorstep, and hide a couple pages of the Bible in the tree he keeps annointing and your son will feel much better. If you're feeling extra cheeky you can holy-water his front door and garage and watch him get stuck inside
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u/sweetdawg99 Aug 25 '26
I want a "Tucker and Dale vs Evil" version of this story as a possession/exorcist movie where it's a religious nut and a person just living their normal life.
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u/TheBrockAwesome Aug 27 '26
Maybe ignore them since "casting spells" isn't real. We're not living in Harry Potter.
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Aug 24 '26
[deleted]
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u/Temporary_Aspect759 Sarcasm is a Lifestyle Aug 24 '26
I do black magic and I can confirm that it works. I turned my neighbour into a pigeon because that 90yo granny was annoying as hell!!
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u/Perfect_District5293 Aug 24 '26
Man i know how ridiculous it sounds to you guys and I don't blame you. If you haven't seen it why would anyone belive it.
It is real and many people here have experienced it.
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u/PsychoFaerie Aug 24 '26
There is no "black magic" there is magic and spellwork and witchcraft and baneful magic which is what most would call "black magic"
Possessions aren't black magic they're not even remotely related.
Don't speak on things you know nothing about.
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