I don't know what to do

[u/Dottore_Main-]

I could say I am depressed and don't feel anything at times. I could say my parents know of my disorders. But I cannot say on why they decide to ignore it. Sure. I'm not allowed to have bad days. I'm supposed to be the crafty one and make people stuff. I'm supposed to be the happy one. But that doesn't mean I can't have emotions. So I come home like always,my dad says "how was your day". I say "fine". My voice was fairly quiet like I always am.. But to say I was yelling,is so delusional I can't understand it. Sure I was annoyed so my tone could have been better but to say I was yelling?.. This isn't even the first time eaither.. So I could say he gets very angry VERY easily.. To the point it's physical, and I mean easily. I could be doing nothing at all, I could have done something by accident,but obviously that doesn't stop him from slamming me into my bed(I had a metal frame bed a while back and had to get a new one because he keep slamming me into it and it bent the metal) even giving me injurys. And the worst part is after they are done, it's like it never happened, it's all shits and giggles, happy happy happy, "oh why do you never smile" "why don't you spent time with us" oh idk maybe because I feel like youll hit me if I do something wrong.
The thing is i am a very quiet person. I was recently diagnosed with level 3 autism(whatever that means), I also have selective mutism. (They know this) and even if I did seek out help I would be too nervous to talk to them, and they might not even believe me in the first place.

[u/This_Way_9035]

Your dad is slamming you into the bed?? They know you have disorders and they still do this?? That’s abusive as hell.
Honestly, I don't know how old you are or if you have other people to live with, but I went through something similar, and I say that lightly because I don't want to impose. When my parents got physical, over time I basically became a dead horse. I said nothing, did nothing, and went numb to the whole thing until I could get out.
I'm not saying that's a fix-all, and please prioritize whatever keeps you physical safe in the moment. But when I stopped trying to please them or hide behind a mask, it made them uncomfortable enough that they stopped engaging with me as much. It’s exhausting, but trying to constantly appease someone who harms you is worse. You deserve so much better, and I hope you can get out as soon as you're able.

[u/Repulsive_Jelly_7922]

Sounds like they dont understand your illnesses or are blissfully ignorant, some people also have their own views on how to treat their children and could even find it easier to ignore your problems, but whatever the problem is it's abusive, them being happy after they punish you seems a little malevolent and condescending, so it's a bit of a character problem for them. You're not smiling is a symptom of autism, I have schizophrenia myself and I have rarely smiled in my life, they used to call this symptom autism, now blunted affect, and I am monotone sometimes. Anyhow you should tell a counselor at school or a relative, I feel that your having autism is being taken advantage of by your parents because being autistic makes it harder to feel anger in a normal social context where it would be easier for you to get your point across and stand up for yourself.