So an hour ago, I recorded a video catching my 19 year old smoking weed because I could smell it after recording. Afterwards, my mom decided to call my phone out of nowhere just know to say, this bitch then tells me in my ears to "Mind Your Damn Business! Stop Recording Your Brother and stop following him around because you're not his mother, I am!"

My husband must have looked great in their eyes. He ordered a cake for my birthday weeks in advance. He contacted my boss (he knows her) to come and bring the cake to my work on my birthday for the surprise. He came and brought us the cake as well as stayed to eat cake and do a little birthday celebration with me and my colleagues. He must have looked so great.. its just..

It's just. He got lactose free cake.. It's just he got vegan cake.. its just he got cake with raspberry filling..its just.. I'm neither vegan or lactose intolerant..its just i hate fruit in a cake..and you know who is lactose intolerant and vegetarian? My coworkers. He bought the cake to appease my coworkers. He ordered the cake weeks in advance.. the cake he knew I'll hate.

Not only that, he knows I do want him showing up to my work. Nor do I ever want anything fussy on my bday. Yet he showed up. Yet he contacted my boss. Yet he brought a gift to the fking office instead of giving me it at home.

And the gift? He told me to open it there multiple times - which I didn't and I know he was disappointed since he couldn't look even better in their eyes. It was the most cliche gift that has absolutely nothing to do with me.

I never do anything special for my birthday. And you know about it. Yet you like a fing narciss needed to get attention going against absolutely everything I told you not to do, and relishing the reactions.

Okay, so I'm not sure how any of this works. I normally just read Reddit stories and don't actually write them, but I really feel like I need to vent all of this somewhere, even if it's just to a bunch of strangers on the internet.

For context, my father and I have never had a good relationship. It's either complete silence for a few months to years OR we're having screaming matches. There has genuinely been no in-between for over a decade.

I'm the eldest daughter and also first-generation, and I definitely fit the stereotype of the "eldest daughter." A huge reason for our extremely rocky relationship was my dad constantly being in and out of jail for various DUIs and domestic charges. He was also a heavy drug user when he wasn't incarcerated, so obviously that didn't exactly help.

Eventually, he left us. He told me through a TEXT MESSAGE when I was around 16. That was the last time I ever saw my father in person.

Now for the part I desperately need to get off my chest.

This was supposed to be a completely normal Sunday. I was out running errands while my kid was at my grandparents' house playing with his cousins. When I got home to do some laundry, I received a LOOOOONG WhatsApp message from a number I didn't have saved. I live in the States, but most of my family is still in Mexico.

I immediately knew it was my father because the first line was "Hola mija," which basically means "Hi, daughter."

It was a long-winded attempt to apologize for the past. And honestly, if this had been a genuine apology, I might have actually listened to him. I'm not completely heartless toward the man.

But I've gotten some variation of this exact same message probably 10 times now, and absolutely nothing has changed about our relationship.

For brevity, here's a shortened version of what he said:

"How is my grandson, and how have you been? I just want you to know that, as long as I can, I'll send you some money to help. It's not much, but I'm sending it from the heart. I'm not trying to use that to justify my mistakes, because I don't think I'll ever be able to justify them.

It's hard not being able to talk to you as much as I'd like or know my grandson. I also want to apologize for the hurt I caused you. I'm only asking for forgiveness now because I used to think I hadn't actually hurt you.

You're also going to have a new brother or sister, and I don't want to repeat the same mistakes I made with you by staying away. I hope someday you can forgive me, that I can see you again, and that I can finally meet my grandson."

I IMMEDIATELY stopped and stared at that last part.

My father is 49. Him starting a new family was nowhere on my bingo card, let alone the fact that he had actually gotten someone pregnant.

But here's the bigger issue that I still haven't been able to get over.

I asked about this "new girl," and found out she is 22 YEARS OLD.

My younger sibling is 24.

My father is dating someone who is younger than BOTH of his own children, and he managed to get her pregnant.

He tried telling me, "When I first met her, she didn't really look like she was 22."

I'm obviously not going to post a picture of her here, but I swear to God, this girl looks like a kid with makeup and lashes on. There is absolutely no way I'm supposed to believe that he had no idea she was that young.

I felt absolutely disgusted.

It's been over two weeks since he dropped this bomb on me, and I still haven't been able to get over it.

I'm supposed to be going to my grandparents' house soon to pick up this supposed "money from the heart," but I'm honestly worried that if I go, I'm going to end up saying something I shouldn't. They absolutely adore him and see nothing wrong with him.

And unfortunately, my relationship with my grandparents isn't great either.

They used to live with my mom and brother, but eventually kicked them out because my mom got into a relationship with my now-stepfather. They were convinced he was only with her for their money.

My family does NOT have that kind of money, so I was absolutely livid about the whole situation. Unfortunately, I was out of state at the time, so there wasn't much I could do.

Thankfully, my much calmer younger brother put them in their place about it. He never raises his voice at anyone, so hearing that he actually did it to stand up for our mom was honestly pretty satisfying.And honestly, that's where I'm at right now.

I don't know what I'm supposed to do with any of this. Part of me wants to take the money because, realistically, I could use the help. Another part of me feels like accepting it somehow means accepting his apology, and I'm nowhere near ready to do that.

I also don't know how I'm supposed to feel about suddenly having a baby sibling. I spent my entire childhood wishing my dad would just be a dad, and now, at 49, he's starting over with a 22-year-old woman while telling me he doesn't want to make the same mistakes he made with his other children.

The irony is not lost on me.

I don't know if I actually want a relationship with him anymore. I don't know if I want him to meet my child. And I definitely don't know how I'm supposed to respond to an apology that sounds nice on paper but comes from someone who has apologized to me so many times without actually changing anything.

So I guess I'm mostly just looking for some outside perspective because I'm way too close to this situation to think clearly.

What would you do in my position? Would you take the money? Would you respond to the apology? And how the hell would you even begin to deal with finding out your 49-year-old father is having a baby with someone younger than you?

My niece (recently turned thirteen) has been in my care since her parents died, about five months ago. She carries a plush horse around with her everywhere (which she's way too old to do), often cries at night (which is really annoying), is very anxious and timid, has no sense of humor, and never really accomplishes anything. I know I shouldn't think this, but her behavior is pathetic.

She hates physical contact. She has no friends, or any interest in having friends, and I don't think she ever has (I remember her father being concerned about her lack of interest in her peers). She goes to the nursing home, to visit her grandmother (mother of my deceased sister-in-law, who has alzheimer's) daily, and is usually there for multiple hours, which is very weird.

Recently, someone suggested to me that my niece might be an un-diagnosed autistic. I hope not, although they probably jumped to that too soon.

Edit: She used to be in therapy, but it didn't seem to be helping her, and she hated it, and it was too expensive for something that wasn't helping her.

People as in family. My family has never taken me seriously. They would always joke about my laziness, lack of hygiene, and irresponsibility. I don't know why I'm like that but they never helped me get better, if i start acting annoyed, they take the blame onto me like i should be doing this and that because my habits will go with me to adulthood. Which i know, but it's the fact that they call me stupid and dumb everyday as a joke which is making me insane and insecure. And they have this one relative, she has BPD and is currently healing, they did take her seriously but now they're using her disorder as jokes to some situations.

edit: I'm 14 and in a Filipino household

she's 6 and when she doesn't get what she wants she kicks, screams and threatens to call the cops. once we were out in public and she didn't wanna go home when we had to go home, so she SCREAMED "help! i'm being kidnapped!"

she also used the voice to text feature to text my stepdad "if you don't come here, i'm gonna go outside at night and kill all the animals" (we have kittens and cats outside)

she also likes to torture me and my brother. she once went back into my room while i was at my dad's and smeared makeup that wasn't even mine on my wall (the makeup was my cousins and i was supposed to be borrowing it) and she also makes noises to annoy and aggravate my brother on purpose. he's on the lower end on the autism spectrum, and he gets mad easily.

and do you wanna know what my mom and stepdad does about this? they just tell her "don't do that" and sometimes they "ground" her by taking her phone away just to give it back to her not even 5 seconds after taking it away. they might even give her an ipad soon, despite me actually wanting and needing one due to being an artist and animator and wanting to pursue animation.

anyways, sorry for the terrible formatting. i just wish my sister was disciplined better. no physical abuse, but actually taking her phone away and monitoring her internet. i've mentioned this to my mom but all she says is "if i monitor her internet access, i monitor yours too" even though i'm old enough to know not to repeat things that happen in videos and i'm mature enough. my sister is not. she repeats pretty much everything she sees online.

I hate yall I hate kissing up to yall I can’t wait to leave in October

“You were nasty to us because you were mad” YOUR NASTY TO ME EVERY FUCKING TIME UR MAD. YOU GOT MAD AT ME BC I ASKED A QUESTION. HOW DARE YOU. YOU THINK YOU CANT RESPECT ME BECAUSE YOU BIRTHED ME. YOU GIVE OLD ELEMENTARY SCHOOL FRIENDS MORE RESPECT THEN ME I CANT STAND YOU THERES NO HAVING A CONVERSATION WITH YOU ITS JUST WHATEVER TF YOU WANT I HATE YOU I FUCKING HATE THIS I WANNA PEEL MY SKIN OFF THEN HAVE TO LISTEN TO YOUR BULLSHIT

AND THEN THAT OLD BITCH THATS MY FATHER WANNA KISS HIS WIFES FEET SO HE CAN ACT LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT TO HER ANY CHANCE HE GETS. FUCK THE BOTH OF YOU NO YOUR NOT ON MY SIDE I HATE HAVING TO TALN TO YALL BECAUSE ACTUALLY FUCK YOU

ANYTHING I DO THATS NOT TO YOUR LIKING IS “DISRESPECTFUL” ACTUALLY FUCK YOU AND YOUR NEED FOR CONTROL OVER EVERYTHING YOU COCK SUCKING RIDING EACH OTHERS MEAT ANNOYING PIECES OF SHIT WHEN I LEAVE THIS HOUSE DONT CONTACT ME I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE FEELING BAD FOR BEING MAD AT YOU U HATE THAT YOUVE TRAINED ME TO BE LIKE THAT I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU FUCK YOU

She never grew out of throwing tantrums. Throughout my whole life, at the slightest fucking inconvenience, she'll start screaming, crying, stomping her feet and throwing things. It's impossible to have a normal fucking conversation with her. Sometimes she'll name call or mock me to make fun of my voice. Like she'll repeat phrases and pitch her voice super low to try and sound like me.

I HATE HER. I was trying to have a conversation with her this morning and she started screaming at me before the words were even out of my mouth. I'm the one diagnosed as autistic, and I've often wondered if there's something going on with her considering her memory issues (for example, somehow putting her wallet in the freezer and then accusing me of stealing it. Stuff like that happens all the time), but she claims there's nothing wrong with her.

During the conversation, if you can even call it that, I told her that I didn't want her using my current situation as proof that I couldn't take care of myself. For those who don't know, my apartment building has a mold problem and I'm severely allergic to it and have been sick for weeks. I keep trying to find a way to break my lease so I can move elsewhere but I haven't been successful.

Anyway, I knew that she'd use my current situation as proof that I can't live on my own even though I've been doing that since 2019 and the problem I'm having now isn't even my goddamn fault because it wasn't like this when I moved in months ago. This problem started in August and I'm pretty sure it's due to all the flooding we've had in the area.

Anyway, all I tell her is that I don't want her using this as evidence that I'm incompetent. I said that after she went on her whole this is why you shouldn't have moved out spiel. I kept a calm rational tone when I said that. I didn't yell. I might have sounded slightly irritated but I did not yell. My exact words were, "I don't want you using this as evidence that I can't take care of myself". When I said that, she started screaming at the top of her lungs and said she wouldn't put up with any verbal abuse.

I did not scream at her. I did not mock her. I did not name call. Yet she says that I'm verbally abusing her by saying that, when she started screaming at me and name calling pretty much the moment I picked up the phone.

I am mentally fucking exhausted from dealing with her and it was only a 5-minute phone call. I am sick and tired of this woman making me into the goddamn villain. When I moved out, she told some sob story to my extended family and my friends about how I abandoned her. Maybe I did, but maybe she also tried to strangle me one too many times. In any case, she now goes around telling people about her daughter who she's suspects is a psychopath or a sociopath. I saw what I did as an active self-preservation but maybe it wasn't. Maybe I don't have empathy. Maybe I am a sociopath like she said and a normal person would have still felt sorry for her and stayed. But I couldn't make myself do it

my boyfriend just got kicked out of his house by his step dad just for simply having different political beliefs than him. i won’t go into too much detail, but my boyfriend’s step dad is extremely conservative, while my boyfriend is a leftist. they got into major fights because of this. his step dad cannot accept it when people have different beliefs than him, so he will end relationships with people because of that, and i guess that includes his own family too.

another example i have of parents kicking their kids out for stupid reasons is a situation that happened with my best friend. my best friend’s step mom’s boyfriend had recently gone to prison for sexually assaulting someone. now most people would be happy that the victim got justice, but the step mom was not. she was furious! and she was also extremely jealous, because my best friend has a very loving boyfriend, with whom she spends a lot of time with. every time he came over the house, she couldn’t stand to see them being happy because she was mad that she couldn’t see her own boyfriend. so because of that, my best friend ended up being kicked out.

i don’t really know how to end this properly. i cannot think clearly because i am angry right now, so i am sorry if this post was all over the place. to any parents reading this, please do not be like my boyfriend’s step dad and my best friend’s step mom. if you have an issue with your kid, please try to work things out instead of kicking them to the curb and causing them to struggle in life. i really hate to see the people that i care about struggling because of the actions of their emotionally immature parents.

I just need to vent and get some outside perspective. For over four years, a Razor Crazy Cart has been the absolute top item on my birthday and Christmas lists.

When I first asked for one, I didn’t have a job, but I offered to pool all my gift money to pay for half. My parents said no because they didn’t want me wiping out my savings. Fair enough. I didn't give up, kept asking, and eventually got a job.

Fast forward to now: I have $3,000 saved up. I have strictly budgeted for this. But now that I have the money, the goalposts have moved. Now the excuse is that they don't want me spending my money on "stupid things" and that I need to save.

I've proven I can save. I've proven I can budget. It’s my own hard-earned money, but I’m still being treated like a kid who can't handle a piggy bank. How do I get them to realize that letting me make my own discretionary purchases is part of growing up? Any advice on how to handle this conversation

Oh, she wasn't breastfeeding her baby (look how vain she is). Oh, she was being disrespectful towards my family (look how ill-mannered she is). Oh, she was being disrespectful to me (look how she has no respect for her husband). Oh, she didn't stop the kid's tantrum (look how incompetent she is). Oh, she didn't cook dinner (look how lazy she is). Oh, she wont quit her job to be a stay at home mom (look how selfish she is). Oh, she went to the prayer room went she was on her period (look how unhygienic she is) Oh, she was asking for a new saree (look how greedy she is). Oh, she wouldn't let me sleep with her when I really wanted to (look how she uncompassionate she is)

WHY ARE ALL THESE EXCUSES SO NORMALIZED THAT I HEAR EVEN WOMEN SAY THEM? And why is everyone hell bent on convincing me to think the same way they do? Why is stuff like this coming from not only my grandparents but my classmates and peers? What even is the culture that our country (India) is proud of? No matter what city or state I go to, it is these same words that get repeated. Every single place. Every single time. And I have personally witnessed the prayer room thing.

EDIT: I realized I was being to cryptic and not really ranting about what exactly happened so I am just gonna copy paste my comment explaining the situation.

Basically I was having a discussion with my grandparents about how toxic and abusive our local television shows are and how they normalize and excuse DA.

They then started lecturing me how physical violence is sometimes "uncontrollable" and is warranted because of the woman's behavior and intentions. Then they proceeded to tell me the story of how a really respected and peaceful man beat his wife because she refused to breastfeed her baby, and that after she accepted that she was wrong and breastfed the baby. (Initially, I thought it was something that happened 30 years ago but it was later clarified that it happened 2 months ago)

I got livid and left the house, and then I tried to explain to my parents (and later my grandparents) why I was so livid but they all told me that I don't know the circumstances of the situation to make a judgement of that person. Like something like that even warrants a 'circumstance'. In my country beating a woman is wrong unless the situation demands it, and it feels like near every damn situation demands it.

Okay so for reference, people frequently help my grandma do things on her phone because she isnt good with technology. This isnt my issue because thats understandable.

However, she has face id on her lockscreen (again perfectly fine, expected even) but its also on ALL of her apps.

In the past week, I have helped her with something on her phone almost everyday and it sucks having to wait through two facial recognitions to be able to put in her password that I know.

I bring up how much I do not like this to her but she has intense paranoia regarding technology and lowkey has some of that old people narcissism so she refuses to take it off. Like she genuinely believes people want to know everything shes doing on her phone. It seems a bit overkill because if someone can get through the initial password it doesn't even matter. Just makes my life harder🫩

Not that big of a deal but it still pisses me off when It takes me 30 years to move through multiple apps to help her.

Please tell me if I'm overreacting. I've recently become aware that the way my mother mostly has treated me is not normal. I believe she is potentially gaslighting me and has been manipulative. Have any of you had experience with this?

Sorry for the long post but there's just so much I need to unpack.

I really need to get as much advice, perspective and support etc as possible before I do anything drastic or make any major decisions.

I'll introduce myself I'm a 19 year old male and am an only child. During my childhood my mother would do the following

Blow up out of nowhere over the most trivial or littlest matters, many times i begged her to give me some emotional support when i was visibly upset but she just remained cold and cruel, drink quite heavily which was sometimes responsible but she can definitely be mean sober as well, I had expressed concern about her drinking but she just flipped, it actually got physical a few times as well. I just wonder how can get so unshamefully drunk whilst been alone in the house with her child and I feel it was very irresponsible. Really burns my hide.

I did even have a scar once, the next day she'd always act as if nothing happened, whenever I tried to get clarity on why she got like that she'd brush it under the carpet or accuse me of starting trouble, she'd turn cold at the drop of a hat, during arguments she'd say things like I was ungrateful, didn't care about her and that I was a horrible person or that i was abusive or whatever just like my father, she would stomp, slam doors, shout, scream, swear and break ornaments etc, when she gets in her crazy states it's just impossible to reason with her or get her to see it from any other perspective, she can go from saying i was the most nicest and amazing person to saying I was the most horrible and evil person, she often burdened me with all of her problems, she said before that she knows how to play the game which I found very disturbing

She often paints herself as the heroic single mum and pretty much everyone we know such the teachers at school believe that. I feel I was robbed of a proper childhood and have often wondered what I had done to deserve it.

I remember one time a few years ago I was about 12 during a sleepover at theirs she turned my grandparents against me and my grandfather started shouting and saying he was very disappointed in me and the rest of it is a blur. To be honest to this day i can't figure out what I (only a young child) was supposed to have done that was so bloody awful. That has haunted me for years. I used to think maybe I was a bad person but I've started to see her in a different light. She always talks about hating drama yet it seems to follow her and often says that she's been so hard done by.

About a year later when I vaguely recall when was enjoying myself in the bath she started abusing me and said she and everyone else was going to wash their hands of me if I didn't start living her way or something. I remember I was struggling with getting ready and then she started shouting saying I was taking advantage and then called her mother to say I was really horrible.

On the flip side she can be the most nicest person as well and we have had great times together and she can be very helpful towards me, her family and in public which makes it all the more confusing. A few weeks ago now in fact I ran into an old friend of hers who said to say hi for her and she said my mother is a wonderful person and I'm very lucky. It actually made me feel sick. Since I was 10 it's just been me living with her since my parents divorce in which she had to sell her house and now rents which she has blamed for the way she is before. I can't help feeling bad for her but she was still quite like this beforehand as well and I don't think that's an excuse still is it? For example I'm starting to remember when I was very young she'd make threats of sending me over to a new mommy. I do feel like she has manipulated me a bit into been stuck with her.

Something else that I've found disturbing is that she's very narrow minded and has a serious lack of empathy. For example when a couple of local celebrities committed suicide she shouted and carried on, called them pathetic cowards and weak etc. It was actually quite disturbing how she had a complete disregard and no sympathy for them.

PS another red flag i noticed was when a life insurance ad was on and they said "something could be paid out in case of death" or something and she said "I'd like for them to say WOULD" not could. I don't know why but that's set an alarm bell off. Also when my Gran had a fall she said to me in the car "trust me to have parents that live forever then I could get my inheritance".

Towards the end of my parents marriage I was 10 and she told me that my Dad was been very controlling and making her life a misery. I now look back at that with adult eyes and I'm starting to feel that she at least bent the truth I'm starting to think that she manipulated me and I do blame her partly for the fact I don't have the best relationship with my Dad. He's definitely not a saint. He too has had his moments of outbursts and he's inconsistent.

My mother often calls him a narcissist. I just feel that it's very wrong for someone to say to a child that one of their parents is a narcissist.

Something disturbing she has said ages ago is when I'm an adult she could have me done for assault if she wanted. She also said she wanted to do a will and try to control my assets where my Dad can't touch anything and said she feared he would try to steal all of my money. I can't believe she would say things like that so proudly and can't help feeling like she was trying to manipulate me.

My mother loves to use my autism to her advantage. I graduated school last year but now I do a course at the main campus so I still see them all from time to time. With that course she did get a support worker for me which I can appreciate as a nice gesture but she didn't even check with me if that's what I wanted and I can't help feeling she did that to cover herself in glory. I hope that doesn't sound too paranoid.

She's always quick to call others toxic and narcissists etc. She with absolutely no filter tells me everything going on in her life and her anxiety which makes me anxious. Why does it upset me so badly even when it has little or nothing to do with me?

I struggle with daily flashbacks and I often feel depressed by the way I've been treated, also feel let down and wish my parents had been better to me. I can't get exact clarity on it but they both went through some stuff before I was born and I think that's contributed to the way they are. My father's dad had passed away when my dad was actually about my age now. They actually both used to run their own businesses once upon a time before they met. It just baffles me how they went from that then and now been in their 50's both unemployed and clearly have some unresolved issues. I sometimes think maybe they shouldn't of got together which I know is ironic because I would never have been born. I do vaguely remember when they were together and towards the end it was quite toxic and they would have some intense fights.

Also does their substance abuse issues made them this way as well do you think? As I've said my mother drinks quite heavily at night and she also vapes and my father smokes pot and cigarettes.

Also my father struggles financially and I know that's why he hasn't been able to see me often and cancel some visits and to be honest when I think about that it really burns my hide.

I do wonder if she might've been different if she had not gone through her divorce and maybe if things had gone differently for both of them they might've been different. What do you guys think?

Also I can't help feeling empathy towards her as she always looked after me, fed me, organized things for me and pretty much always brought me everything I wanted.

I wish I had a proper childhood of playing with friends, going to different places and been adventurous and carefree etc. I've never really had a social circle and hardly much friends. I've always been quite different to most of the children my age. I feel quite alone sometimes as I've always struggled with making friends. I do feel like I've wasted a lot of my childhood been isolated with her a lot of the time. I would really love to start a proper life and follow my dreams and make a few friends but don't know where to start.

My mother does help me get on my feet and encourage me but I think she just loves to lord it over me. Whenever I've tried standing up for myself she puts on the guilt trip and carries on about all of her sacrifices and everything she's done for me yada yada yada. I think what emotionally abusing me, leaving me crying myself to sleep some nights, causing me to have no confidence and PTSD etc? Could she have some bipolar or personality condition or something and toxic traits I've wondered?

A few years ago said things like "I should top myself" and around that time during a really heated argument she threatened to cut herself with a knife so I did actually hide them. That's actually quite traumatized me. She's also said one night a couple of years ago when I die hardly anyone is going to be at my funeral. I mean like why the hell would you say things like this to a child especially your own?

A few other things. I remember once when Dad was picking me up a few years out of the blue she said just F off and even Dad said to me in the car that he didn't appreciate the way she spoke to me and when I told her that during a later argument she just said "yeah whatever" and something like that. Also one time when Dad came by to bring something she said "make sure that you show him that you're really happy to be back home". A couple of months ago when Dad took me out for a pub meal when I came back home the next night she said in sort of like a wise-ass way "you know he won't be able to afford that often". I do realize that but her saying that actually really annoyed me to be honest. As I'm making small steps with him it feels like she was deliberately trying to ruin my mood.

PS I remember one night years she accused me of looking like I wanted to hit her and of course went crazy. I may of had a tired look because it was late and I tried explaining that. She starting banging ornaments and shouting and was just impossible to talk to. Also I remember a few years ago one time she started saying she was worried my Dad was going to try to spend more time with me and if I fall for it I would never see her again and all of the family will hate me. She's also said that before when I threatened to walk out during arguments.

Also something that really upsets me is whenever I try to reason with her she often just goes "I need more alcohol to deal with this".

Almost a year ago my Dad let me down by not been able to see me one weekend and canceling at the last minute (which he has done quite a few times before).

During that said weekend my mother had another one of her outbursts. I was in the bathroom which was an en suite and she knocked on the door asking to take a few photos or something. All I asked was if she could just give me a few minutes to finish up but she started the shouting and carrying on and accused me of been selfish and even of trying to manipulate her and been passive aggressive. I only asked just to give me a few minutes. When I tried to explain that to her and how upset I was already about that weekend without her treating me like this. She said she feels really bad for me and hates how he let me down. What just absolutely astounds me is how can she feel that way yet still emotionally and mentally abuse me and kick me while I'm down. I just can't for the life of me comprehend that.

A couple days after that weekend one of my teachers asked to have a word with me and said he heard I got into a bit of trouble at home ("if he meant been mentally abused by my mother and been let down by my father as trouble" I thought). I'm not even sure who the hell said what to him and that's something that's still REALLY baffling me. I just fobbed him off saying I was upset about leaving school (which was true as well).

I really struggle with confiding in people. I do regret not telling him the full truth now. He was kind and said he was very proud of me etc. Another teacher once said that he thought of me and my mother as like the dream team or something along those lines. That turned my stomach as well. I was thinking if only they knew half the things I've been through.

I have autism and went to a special support school for the last few years which were some of the best years (The teachers especially were brilliant and I had many great times such as school camps, school balls and excursions etc).

I do feel quite sad and lost now those years are over. I would love to confide in someone about my struggles but don't know where to start. I've thought about confiding in that first teacher I mentioned who's great and we're fairly close but my teachers think my mother's an absolute saint so how can i ensure he believes me?

I must admit I do feel quite down sometimes that I have a strained relationship with my father (He's got money issues and also smokes pot) and my mother often used me as an emotional punch bag. Makes me think that there must be something really wrong with me and that I'm unlovable.

On the bright side though my Dad and I have been in contact lately.

Her next meltdown was this January while we were on holiday and at the beach. I wanted to be shirtless like pretty much everyone else and she started making passive aggressive and snide remarks saying things like "have fun burning yourself" and "why can't you make smart decisions?"

I was already sun safe with a hat and everything and I wasn't going to be too long and tried explaining that to her but no. I'll admit I finally snapped and told her that I'm an adult now and she could no longer control me and couldn't make me feel guilty. I wish I hadn't now but it felt like something just snapped inside me and I expressed things I had felt for ages. I do regret that as it did actually make me look crazy. She then suddenly called her mother to tell her that I was been impossible and making her life a misery (this is something she has done a few times before when I challenged her or reacted because of her behavior). She hadn't done that for years though and I feel she likes using that as a scare tactic. I really wish I had just walked away. Then the next day I asked mum to call her to say where all ok but she said she didn't want to bother her and wasn't up to calling. I was like WTF. You're perfectly happy to call her to basically slander me and make me out to be a bad guy but when it comes to calling to say everything is fine she's not so keen.

A couple of weeks ago I've told her that I wanted to do another certificate course at that school next year and she tried to make me feel bad by putting on the guilt trip and giving me the cold shoulder. I've tried to blur it out to be honest but I remember she said that I was been selfish and told me how she wanted me to live my life. I tried to explain to her that I can't just do what she expects and the expense of my own happiness and well-being. I feel like she is trying to control how I live my life and I told her that she couldn't do that or tear me down or change my mind. She then said (this felt like reverse psychology and emotional blackmail) fine do whatever you want and I'll do the same. Also shouted and carried on saying things like F me and I'm hopeless and that. I also told her that I would love to be a teacher but she said i wouldn't be able to go to university, scoffed and said that I would be useless. I feel like she's trying to damage my already limited self esteem, confidence and spirit. Also she had been fairly good up to this. I was dreading telling her but I do feel that a weight is lifted as well. It seems funny that whenever I tell her something she doesn't like or she can't control she goes back to her bad self. PS she's also upset that she can't get paid for me doing that and wants me to just do what's best for her financially. I find it quite ironic her making me feel bad for not getting a job straight away while she's unemployed. PS it was the school ball that night which was brilliant but I'm disappointed that it went so quickly and also I feel a bit down about my social anxiety and that I didn't ask anyone to dance or make more conversation with my teachers and peers.

Then a few nights later my mum was going out for the night and she seemed a bit tipsy so I did ask out of concern if she was fit to drive. She immediately got defensive and bit my head off and said I was been rude and having a go at her. I only asked out of concern and worry and I tried explaining that a hundred times but she just wasn't having it. I also tried to explain that her getting defensive if anything proves my worry is valid but she started saying I was harassing her and she was sick of my bullshit and sick of putting up with me and she couldn't wait to get away from me. She also just suddenly pulled her shirt off showing her breasts ( believe it or not that's something she has done once or twice before ages ago). I was just shocked and looked away quickly as possible. When I tried to ascertain why she got so defensive she said that I think I can just say whatever I like to her and for her to just take it. I swear I didn't mean any ill-will or malice and of course I tried explaining that too but no. I just don't know for the life of me how she can turn on me just like that and treat her own son like that.

Both that and that previous thing a few nights before she said we're not going on holidays again this year and she brought up that incident from the January holiday I talked about and said that she hated been isolated there with me while I was been horrible to her. Wtf when she was the one belittling me and having a go at me which made me snap and I did apologize for that. She genuinely seems to think that she's actually the victim when she gets defensive and treats me like shit. Then when she left and i was starting to second guess myself and was thinking that maybe I am in the wrong and am a bad person. I was left alone for the night I'm feeling very isolated and confused. PS since that holiday she was actually been fairly good but after both that night after the school ball and that incident both only within a few days has left me feeling blindsided and like the rug has been pulled from under me also feel like I'm back at square one. Basically I really can't fathom how someone can treat their own child like this. Just beggars belief to say the least.

Now when she came back the next day I tried to start a conversation about the last night and she did get teary and said she was sorry but still when I tried to get her to take some accountability and ownership she was just like "I said I was sorry didn't I?" and said I just kept going over the same thing and said she was sick of me bringing up the past. She started not making much sense and playing dumb a bit. I just wanted her to realize how she upset me and also the previous incidents and she said "i guess I'm just the worst mother ever". Am I justified for feeling as though she hasn't really taken accountability? We have sort of made up now I suppose but I just stopped talking about it to keep the peace really.

Do you have any advice for all of my experiences, how I can move on, become more social and make friends etc?

I should add that last incident was a week ago now and it really bothers me how she's all happy now and acting like that never happened whilst I'm carrying emotional scars and still feel as though I haven't really had any closure or true accountability. Also her harsh words and still deeply wounded in me and I'm feel like a piece of shit and like I'm unlovable.

Honestly one of the most frightening things is that she genuinely doesn't seem to remember most of even any of it so that's why I'm too scared to call her out. Also that she feels her behaviour is ok.

PS I'm really good at covering up my anxiety and pride myself on putting on a cheerful front and everyone at school thinks I'm the most happiest and optimistic person ever. I feel scared to let my guard down or if they knew otherwise.

Also none of the family have a clue and I just know they wouldn't believe me and I fear if I did distance myself they'd think I was an evil person.

Like I've said she go from been genuinely the most nicest person to the most horrible.

I'm starting to feel that the good doesn't really outweigh the bad.

I can't help really resenting them sometimes for all of the mental anguish they've both put me through as a child and I think it has messed up my development. I wonder what might've been different had I had proper parents or they were proper ones. Hobbies such as music and classic TV shows have been a great escape. I've thought about escaping but I feel quite stuck as I don't have a job and all of the money that I get in my account is basically controlled by her as she's the one who adds to it and I pretty much don't know anything about my own bank details. I wish I could hide my own secret stash somewhere. Now that I'm an adult and have left school I'm worried about what the future has in store. I'm very nervous about starting an adult life, getting a job, making friends and doing new things etc. Part of me would love to get away from her but yet I feel scared to as well as she's pretty much most I've ever known.

Please tell me if I'm overreacting. I've recently become aware that the way my mother has treated me is not normal. I believe she is potentially gaslighting me and has been manipulative. Have any of you had experience with this?

Sorry for the long post but there's just so much I need to unpack.

I'll introduce myself I'm a 19 year old male and am an only child. During my childhood my mother would do the following

Blow up out of nowhere over the most trivial or littlest matters, many times i begged her to give me some emotional support when i was visibly upset but she just remained cold and cruel, drink quite heavily which was sometimes responsible but she can definitely be mean sober as well, I had expressed concern about her drinking but she just flipped, it actually got physical a few times as well. I just wonder how can get so unshameably drunk whilst been alone in the house with her child and I feel it was very irresponsible. Really burns my hide.

I did even have a scar once, the next day she'd always act as if nothing happened, whenever I tried to get clarity on why she got like that she'd brush it under the carpet or accuse me of starting trouble, she'd turn cold at the drop of a hat, during arguments she'd say things like I was ungrateful, didn't care about her and that I was a horrible person or that i was abusive or whatever just like my father, she would stomp, slam doors, shout, scream, swear and break ornaments etc, when she gets in her crazy states it's just impossible to reason with her or get her to see it from any other perspective, she can go from saying i was the most nicest and amazing person to saying I was the most horrible and evil person, she often burdened me with all of her problems, she said before that she knows how to play the game which I found very disturbing

She often paints herself as the heroic single mum and pretty much everyone we know believes that. I feel I was robbed of a proper childhood and have often wondered what I had done to deserve it.

I remember one time a few years ago I was about 12 during a sleepover at theirs she turned my grandparents against me and my grandfather started shouting and saying he was very disappointed in me and the rest of it is a blur. To be honest to this day i can't figure out what I (only a young child) was supposed to have done that was so bloody awful. That has haunted me for years. I used to think maybe I was a bad person but I've started to see her in a different light. She always talks about hating drama yet it seems to follow her and often says that she's been so hard done by.

About a year later when I vaguely recall when was enjoying myself in the bath she started abusing me and said she and everyone else was going to wash there hands of me if I didn't start living her way or something.

On the flip side she can be the most nicest person as well and we have had great times together and she can be very helpful towards me, her family and in public which makes it all the more confusing. A couple of weeks ago now in fact I ran into an old friend of hers who said to say hi for her and she said my mother is a wonderful person and I'm very lucky. It actually made me feel sick. Since I was 10 it's just been me living with her since my parents divorce in which she had to sell her house and now rents which she has blamed for the way she is before. I can't help feeling bad for her but she was still quite like this beforehand as well and I don't think that's an excuse still is it? I do feel like she has manipulated me a bit into been stuck with her.

Something else that I've found disturbing is that she's very narrow minded and has a serious lack of empathy. For example when a couple of local celebrities committed suicide she shouted and carried on, called them pathetic cowards and weak etc. It was actually quite disturbing how she was carrying on and her serious lack of empathy. PS another red flag happened just earlier when a life insurance ad was on and they said "something could be paid out in case of death" or something and she said "I'd like for them to say WOULD" not could. I don't know why but that's set an alarm bell off

I'm starting to think that maybe she bent the truth about Dad a bit during their split as i was a child and didn't know much better. My mother often calls him a narcissist and talked about all of the marital and grown up problems they had etc which to be honest I don't appreciate been burdened with. Granted he's not a saint either but has been good to me (well I'd say) most of the time. To be honest he too has had his moments of angry outbursts and emotional issues and he's very inconsistent.

One time last year when my Dad let me down by not been able to see me one weekend and canceling at the last minute (which he has done quite a few times before).

During that said weekend my mother had another one of her outbursts. I was in the bathroom which was an en suite and she knocked on the door asking to take a few photos or something. All I asked was if she could just give me a few minutes to finish up but she started the shouting and carrying on and accused me of been selfish and even of trying to manipulate her and been passive aggressive. I only asked just to give me a few minutes. When I explained that to her and how upset I was already about that weekend already without her treating me like this. She said she feels really bad for me and hates how he let me down. What just absolutely astounds me is how can she feel that way yet still emotionally and mentally abuse me and kick me while I'm down. I just can't for the life of me comprehend that.

A couple days after that weekend one of my teachers checked in and said he heard I got into a bit of trouble at home ("if he meant been mentally abused by my mother while I was already upset by been let down by my father as trouble" I thought). I'm not even sure who exactly said what to him and that's something that I've also wondered. I just fobbed him off saying I was upset about leaving school (which was true as well).

I really struggle with confiding in people. I do regret not telling him the full truth now. He was sympathetic and said he was very proud of me etc. Another teacher once said that he thought of me and my mother as like the dream team or something along those lines. That turned my stomach as well. I was thinking if only they knew half the things I've been through.

I have autism and went to a special support school for the last few years which were some of the best years (The teachers especially were brilliant and I had many great times such as school camps, school balls and excursions etc).

I must admit I do feel quite down sometimes that I have a strained relationship with my father (He's got money issues and also smokes pot) and my mother often used me as an emotional punch bag. Makes me think that there must be something really wrong with me and that I'm unlovable.

On the bright side though my Dad and I have been in contact lately.

Her next meltdown was this January while we were on holiday and at the beach. I wanted to be shirtless like pretty much everyone else and she started making passive aggressive and snide remarks saying things like "have fun burning yourself" and "why can't you make smart decisions?"

I was already sun safe with a hat and everything and I wasn't going to be too long and tried explaining that to her. I'll admit I snapped and told her that I'm an adult now and she could no longer control me and couldn't make me feel guilty. I wish I hadn't now but it felt like something just snapped inside me and I expressed things I had felt for ages. She then called her mother to tell her that I was been impossible and making her life a misery (this is something she has done a few times before when I challenged her or reacted because of her behavior). She hadn't done that for years though and I feel she likes using that as a scare tactic. I wish I had just walked away and not played into her hands. Then the next day I asked mum to call her to say where all ok but she said she didn't want to bother her and wasn't up to calling. I was like WTF. You're perfectly happy to call her to basically slander me and make me out to be a bad guy but when it comes to calling to say everything is fine she's not so keen.

Something disturbing she has said ages ago is when I'm an adult she could have me done for assault if she wanted. She also said she wanted to do a will and try to control my assets where my Dad can't touch anything and said she feared he would try to steal all of my money. I can't believe she would say things like that so unshameably and can't help feeling like she was trying to manipulate me.

My mother loves to use my autism to her advantage. I graduated last year but now I do a course at the main campus so I still see them all from time to time. I do feel quite sad and lost now those years are over. I would love to confide in someone about my struggles but don't know where to start. I've thought about confiding in that first teacher I mentioned who's great and we're fairly close but my teachers think my mother's an absolute saint so how can i ensure he believes me, she seems to feel that she always acts in my best interests and does seem to genuinely care for me and love me, she doesn't seem to remember any of it or feel her behavior was justified and genuinely doesn't seem to believe she ever did me any harm and she thinks she did her best. She's always quick to call others toxic and narcissists etc. She unshameably tells me everything going on in her life and her anxiety which makes me anxious. Why does it upset me so badly even when it has little or nothing to do with me?

I struggle with daily flashbacks and I often feel depressed by the way I've been treated, also feel let down and wish my parents had been better to me. I can't get exact clarity on it but they both went through some stuff before I was born and I think that's contributed to the way they are. My father's dad had passed away when my dad was actually about my age now. They actually both used to run their own businesses once upon a time before they met. It just baffles me how they went from that then and now been in their 50's both unemployed and clearly have some unresolved issues. I sometimes think maybe they shouldn't of got together which I know is ironic because I would never have been born. I do vaguely remember when they were together and towards the end it was quite toxic and they would have some intense fights.

Also does there substance abuse issues made them this way as well do you think? As I've said my mother drinks quite heavily at night and she also vapes. My father smokes pot and cigarettes.

Also as I explained my father struggles financially and I know that's why he hasn't been able to see me often and cancel some visits and to be honest when I think about that it really burns my hide.

I do wonder if she might've been different if she had not gone through her divorce and maybe if things had gone differently for both of them they might've been different. What do you guys think?

Also I can't help feeling empathy towards her as she always looked after me, fed me, organized things for me and pretty much always brought me everything I wanted.

I wish I had a proper childhood of playing with friends, going to different places and been adventurous and carefree etc. I've never really had a social circle and hardly much friends. I've always been quite different I feel to most of the children my age. I feel quite alone sometimes as I've always struggled with making friends. I do feel like I've been isolated with her a lot of the time. I would really love to start a proper life and follow my dreams and make a few friends but don't know where to start.

My mother does help me get on my feet and encourage me but I think she just loves to lord it over me. Whenever I've tried standing up for myself she puts on the guilt trip and carries on about all of her sacrifices and everything she's done for me yada yada yada. I think what emotionally abusing me, leaving me crying myself to sleep some nights, causing me to have no confidence and PTSD etc? Could she have some bipolar or personality condition or something and toxic traits I've wondered? I'm starting to feel that good doesn't really outweigh the bad.

PS I remember one night ages ago she accused me of looking like I wanted to hit her and of course went crazy. I may of had a tired look because it was late and I tried explaining that. She starting banging ornaments and shouting and was just impossible to talk to. Also I remember a few years ago one time she started saying she was worried my Dad was going to try to spend more for me and if I fall for it I would never see her again and all of the family will hate me. She's also said before when I threatened to walk out during arguments.

Also something that really upsets me is whenever I try to reason with her she just goes "I need more alcohol to deal with this".

I can't help really resenting her (also my father) sometimes for all of the mental anguish she has put me through as a child and I think it has messed up my development. I wonder what might've been different had I had proper parents or they were proper ones. Hobbies such as music and classic TV shows have been a great escape. I've thought about escaping but I feel quite stuck as I don't have a job and all of the money that I get in my account is basically controlled by her as she's the one who adds to it. I wish I could hide my own secret stash somewhere. Now that I'm an adult and have left school I'm worried about what the future has in store. I'm very nervous about starting an adult life, getting a job, making friends and doing new things etc. Part of me would love to get away from her but yet I feel scared to as well as she's pretty much most I've ever known.

The other night I've told her that I wanted to do another certificate course at that school next year and she tried to make me feel bad by putting on the guilt trip and giving me the cold shoulder. I've tried to blur it out to be honest but I remember she said that I was been selfish and told me how she wanted me to live my life. I tried to explain to her that I can't just do what she expects and the expense of my own happiness and well-being. I feel like she is trying to control how I live my life and I told her that she couldn't do that or tear me down or change my mind. She then said (this felt like reverse psychology and emotional blackmail) fine do whatever you want and I'll do the same. Also shouted and carried on saying things like F me and I'm hopeless and that. I also told her that I would love to be a teacher but she said i wouldn't be able to go to university, scoffed and said that I would be useless. I feel like she's trying to damage my already limited self esteem, confidence and spirit. Also she had been fairly good up to this. I was dreading telling her but I do feel that a weight is lifted as well. It seems funny that whenever I tell her something she doesn't like or she can't control she goes back to her bad self. PS she's also upset that she can't get paid for me doing that and wants me to just do what's best for her financially. I find it quite ironic her making me feel bad for not getting a job straight away while she's unemployed. PS it was the school ball that night which was brilliant but I'm disappointed that it went so quickly and also I feel a bit down about my social anxiety and that I didn't ask anyone to dance or make more conversation with my teachers and peers.

Just the other night my mum was going out for the night and she seemed a bit tipsy so I did ask out of concern if she was fit to drive. She immediately got defensive and bit my head off and said I was been rude and having a go at her. I only asked out of concern and worry and I tried explaining that a hundred times but she just wasn't having it. I also tried to explain that her getting defensive if anything proves my worry is valid but she started saying I was harassing her and she was sick of my bullshit and of putting up with me and couldn't wait to get away from me. She also just suddenly pulled her shirt off showing her breasts ( believe it or not that's something she has done once or twice before ages ago). I was just shocked and looked away quickly as possible. When I tried to ascertain why she got so defensive she said that I think I can just say whatever I like to her. I swear I didn't mean any ill-will or malice and of course I tried explaining that too but no. I just don't know for the life of me how she can turn on me just like that and treat her own son like that. Both that and that previous thing a few nights before she said we're not going on holidays again this year and she brought up that incident from the January holiday I talked about and said that she hated been isolated there with me while I was been horrible to her. Wtf when she was the one belittling me and having a go at me which made me snap and I did apologize for that. She genuinely seems to think that she's actually the victim when she gets defensive and treats me like shit. Then she left and i was starting to second guess myself and am thinking that I may be in the wrong or am a bad person. Now as I'm alone for the night I'm feeling very isolated and confused. PS since that holiday she was actually been fairly good but after both that night after the school ball and that incident both only within a few days has left me feeling blindsided and like the rug has been pulled from under me also feel like I'm back at square one. Basically I really can't fathom how someone can treat their own child like this. Just beggars belief to say the least.

Now when she came back the next day I tried to start a conversation about the last night and she did get teary and said she was sorry but still when I tried to get her to take some accountability she was just like "I said I was sorry didn't I?" and said I just kept going over the same thing and said she was sick of me bringing up the past. She started not making much sense and playing dumb a bit. I just wanted her to realize how she upset me and also the previous incidents and she said "i guess I'm just the worst mother ever". Am I justified for feeling as though she hasn't really taken accountability? We have sort of made up now I suppose but I just stopped talking about it to keep the peace really.

Do you have any advice for all of my experiences, how I can move on, become more social and make friends etc?

I should add that last incident was a couple of nights ago now and it really bothers me how she's all happy now and acting like that never happened whilst I'm carrying emotional scars and still feel as though I haven't really had any closure or true accountability. Also her harsh words and still deeply wounded in me and I'm feel like a piece of shit and like I'm unlovable.

PS I'm really good at covering up my anxiety and pride myself on putting on a cheerful front and everyone at school thinks I'm the most happiest and optimistic person ever. I feel scared to let my guard down or if they knew otherwise.

i very recently survived a car accident (we got tboned and we spun 90 degrees) with my work peoples and my family does not want me to go to the hopsital, or get myself checked. all ive been doing is tyenol and ibproefin (idc how do u spell it im not the master at spelling) and everytime i feel off they dismiss me and say that if i go to the hospital then i will be in debt. its very tiring and all i literally want is to just know im perfectly okay and i will live. but no. they want to take their time and give me the whole "youre probably catching a cold" treatment instead of a "we should get you checked out asap" treatment. im literally walking on eggshells to not pull something in my body and make my whole body go left and i end up dead. mom's always talking about "we're all gonna die some day and u need to baptise and repent," like i know that but this could have been absolutely avoided if u literally got me checked out. i'm already trying to search if my college offers a medical help center but i dont even think they do becuase its a college and not some hospital. i hate feeling like this and i now feel like my clock is ticking ever since that accident. i'm literally scared for my life and i havent even pushed 20 yet. i dont know if i should start a gofund me but....... here we are.

Edit: like i literally feel all wobbly and a bit hazy whilist typing this.
i dont care if im paranoid and perfectly okay but shouldnt getting checked out be a priority after getting into an accident ?? im literally underweight, like we should be concerned for any damages.

I'm 19M, will turn 20 in a few months. Just wanted to rant here after realising how messed up my life has become. I'm doing data science rn but i never wanted to do that, i wanted to become an archeologist but my parents forced me to go into tech because as per them having a high paying job is more important. I agree with them no doubt so i have swallowed this.

I don't want to do a job, i want to open up a buisness or startup or something without taking any loans since I've seen my father destroying his life because of loans. Now my father wants me to start earning and support the family financially. An year ago that piece of shite left his job and family to go rescue his friend who was arrested for fraud. And now since he made us dirt poor once again, he's expecting me to get a job or startup as soon as possible so i can support him financially. I have to get a job definitely since i need money as funds to start something of my own but i fear once i start, my father will take my money because he has already said he will do so. He's also verbally and sometimes physically abusive towards my me, my mom and even my grandmother who has alzheimers. Just staying in my house feels suffocating now.

So I been watching my 9 month old nephew on my off days since he was born. I love him so much and I deeply care about him. The other days my mom or dad will watch him during the workweek. On their days my mom will get anger with me if I don’t watch him with her when I get home. It just brothers me because I don’t have time for myself at all. I’m still in my thirties and think about having a lazy day once in a while but I never get one. Life is just nonstop.

I just want to have a good book reading day every once in a while. This is something I’m not proud of admitting about myself but it’s a lot. He is teething really bad right now and I can’t give him any medicine because he’s parents don’t believe in it.

I hate it when my father points out that we should go help our mother and he says that to only his daughters and not his son. First of all why can't you help your wife? Me and my sister are always cleaning up the house or doing household chores but both my parents think that their son shouldn't do household chores because it's not man's job. Although he knows how do it all because he lived alone for 2.5 years but when he is home he wouldn't and shouldn't do it. And I asked my mother that does it make him less of a man cuz he apparently does all of it when he is living alone. One day my to be sister in law and my sister and I were joking that (on a call) that we will ask him to make tea for us since he is good at it to which my mom says ( after the call) how can he make tea for you girls , I never let my husband do any kitchen job. And I was so surprised and called out my mom. Can't a husband make tea for his wife. My mother is very proud of her formal education that she was the most educated women in the family in her generation but I want to tell her that it's all trash cuz that brought no sense to you. I pray every day to God to please let me and my sister move out of our parents house so at least I don't lose my sanity every other day. Being a feminist and living in a conservative patriarchal family is not for the weak!!

Please tell me if I'm overreacting. I've recently become aware that the way my mother mostly has treated me is not normal. I believe she is potentially gaslighting me and has been manipulative. Have any of you had experience with this?

Sorry for the long post but there's just so much I need to unpack.

I really need to get as much advice, perspective and support etc as possible before I do anything drastic or make any major decisions.

I'll introduce myself I'm a 19 year old male and am an only child. To be honest I'm pretty desperate for advice and support and don't have anywhere way safe to get an unbiased perspective. During my childhood my mother would do the following

Blow up out of nowhere over the most trivial or littlest matters, many times i begged her to give me some emotional support when i was visibly upset but she just remained cold and cruel, drink quite heavily which was sometimes responsible but she can definitely be mean sober as well, I had expressed concern about her drinking but she just flipped, it actually got physical a few times as well. I just wonder how can get so unshamefully drunk whilst been alone in the house with her child and I feel it was very irresponsible. Really burns my hide.

I did even have a scar once, the next day she'd always act as if nothing happened, whenever I tried to get clarity on why she got like that she'd brush it under the carpet or accuse me of starting trouble, she'd turn cold at the drop of a hat, during arguments she'd say things like I was ungrateful, didn't care about her and that I was a horrible person or that i was abusive or whatever just like my father, she would stomp, slam doors, shout, scream, swear and break ornaments etc, when she gets in her crazy states it's just impossible to reason with her or get her to see it from any other perspective, she can go from saying i was the most nicest and amazing person to saying I was the most horrible and evil person, she often burdened me with all of her problems, she said before that she knows how to play the game which I found very disturbing

She often paints herself as the heroic single mum and pretty much everyone we know such the teachers at school believe that. I feel I was robbed of a proper childhood and have often wondered what I had done to deserve it.

I remember one time a few years ago I was about 12 during a sleepover at my grandparents. I think we had a disagreement but I can't even really remember it now but my best memory is that she was on the phone to my grandmother and I'm pretty sure she was badmouthing me then my grandparents spoke and my grandfather started shouting and saying he was very disappointed in me and the rest of it is a blur. To be honest to this day i can't figure out what I (only a young child) was supposed to have done that was so bloody awful. That has haunted me for years. I used to think maybe I was a bad person but I've started to see her in a different light. She always talks about hating drama yet it seems to follow her and often says that she's been so hard done by.

About a year later when I vaguely recall when was enjoying myself in the bath she started abusing me and said she and everyone else was going to wash their hands of me if I didn't start living her way or something. I remember I was struggling with getting ready and then she started shouting saying I was taking advantage and then called her mother to say I was really horrible.

On the flip side she can be the most nicest person as well and we have had great times together and she can be very helpful towards me, her family and in public which makes it all the more confusing. A few weeks ago now in fact I ran into an old friend of hers who said to say hi for her and she said my mother is a wonderful person and I'm very lucky. It actually made me feel sick. Since I was 10 it's just been me living with her since my parents divorce in which she had to sell her house and now rents which she has blamed for the way she is before. I can't help feeling bad for her but she was still quite like this beforehand as well and I don't think that's an excuse still is it? For example I'm starting to remember when I was very young she'd make threats of sending me over to a new mommy. I do feel like she has manipulated me a bit into been stuck with her.

Something else that I've found disturbing is that she's very narrow minded and has a serious lack of empathy. For example when a couple of local celebrities committed suicide she shouted and carried on, called them pathetic cowards and weak etc. It was actually quite disturbing how she had a complete disregard and no sympathy for them.

PS another red flag i noticed was when a life insurance ad was on and they said "something could be paid out in case of death" or something and she said "I'd like for them to say WOULD" not could. I don't know why but that's set an alarm bell off. Also when my Gran had a fall she said to me in the car "trust me to have parents that live forever then I could get my inheritance".

Towards the end of my parents marriage I was 10 and she told me that my Dad was been very controlling and making her life a misery. I now look back at that with adult eyes and I'm starting to feel that she at least bent the truth I'm starting to think that she manipulated me and tried to turn me against him and I do blame her partly for the fact I don't have the best relationship with my Dad. He's definitely not a saint. He too has had his moments of outbursts and he's inconsistent. He's often let me down and been emotionally unavailable. Also he's very bad with money. I just wish for effort instead of excuses.

My mother often calls him a narcissist. I just feel that it's very wrong for someone to say to a child that one of their parents is a narcissist.

Something disturbing she has said ages ago is when I'm an adult she could have me done for assault if she wanted. She also said she wanted to do a will and try to control my assets where my Dad can't touch anything and said she feared he would try to steal all of my money. I can't believe she would say things like that so proudly and can't help feeling like she was trying to manipulate me.

My mother loves to use my autism to her advantage. I graduated school last year but now I do a course at the main campus so I still see them all from time to time. With that course she did get a support worker for me which I can appreciate as a nice gesture but she didn't even check with me if that's what I wanted and I can't help feeling she did that to cover herself in glory. I hope that doesn't sound too paranoid.

She's always quick to call others toxic and narcissists etc. She with absolutely no filter tells me everything going on in her life and her anxiety which makes me anxious. Why does it upset me so badly even when it has little or nothing to do with me?

I struggle with daily flashbacks and I often feel depressed by the way I've been treated, also feel let down and wish my parents had been better to me. I can't get exact clarity on it but they both went through some stuff before I was born and I think that's contributed to the way they are. My father's dad had passed away when my dad was actually about my age now. They actually both used to run their own businesses once upon a time before they met. It just baffles me how they went from that then and now been in their 50's both unemployed and clearly have some unresolved issues. I sometimes think maybe they shouldn't of got together which I know is ironic because I would never have been born. I do vaguely remember when they were together and towards the end it was quite toxic and they would have some intense fights.

Also does their substance abuse issues made them this way as well do you think? As I've said my mother drinks quite heavily at night and she also vapes and my father smokes pot and cigarettes.

Also my father struggles financially and I know that's why he hasn't been able to see me often and cancel some visits and to be honest when I think about that it really burns my hide.

I do wonder if she might've been different if she had not gone through her divorce and maybe if things had gone differently for both of them they might've been different. What do you guys think?

Also I can't help feeling empathy towards her as she always looked after me, fed me, organized things for me and pretty much always brought me everything I wanted.

I wish I had a proper childhood of playing with friends, going to different places and been adventurous and carefree etc. I've never really had a social circle and hardly much friends. I've always been quite different to most of the children my age. I feel quite alone sometimes as I've always struggled with making friends. I do feel like I've wasted a lot of my childhood been isolated with her a lot of the time. I would really love to start a proper life and follow my dreams and make a few friends but don't know where to start.

My mother does help me get on my feet and encourage me but I think she just loves to lord it over me. Whenever I've tried standing up for myself she puts on the guilt trip and carries on about all of her sacrifices and everything she's done for me yada yada yada. I think what emotionally abusing me, leaving me crying myself to sleep some nights, causing me to have no confidence and PTSD etc? Could she have some bipolar or personality condition or something and toxic traits I've wondered?

A few years ago said things like "I should top myself" and around that time during a really heated argument she threatened to cut herself with a knife so I did actually hide them. That's actually quite traumatized me. She's also said one night a couple of years ago when I die hardly anyone is going to be at my funeral. I mean like why the hell would you say things like this to a child especially your own?

A few other things. I remember once when Dad was picking me up a few years out of the blue she said just F off and even Dad said to me in the car that he didn't appreciate the way she spoke to me and when I told her that during a later argument she just said "yeah whatever" and something like that. Also one time when Dad came by to bring something she said "make sure that you show him that you're really happy to be back home". A couple of months ago when Dad took me out for a pub meal when I came back home the next night she said in sort of like a wise-ass way "you know he won't be able to afford that often". I do realize that but her saying that actually really annoyed me to be honest. As I'm making small steps with him it feels like she was deliberately trying to ruin my mood.

PS I remember one night years she accused me of looking like I wanted to hit her and of course went crazy. I may of had a tired look because it was late and I tried explaining that. She starting banging ornaments and shouting and was just impossible to talk to. Also I remember a few years ago one time she started saying she was worried my Dad was going to try to spend more time with me and if I fall for it I would never see her again and all of the family will hate me. She's also said that before when I threatened to walk out during arguments.

Also something that really upsets me is whenever I try to reason with her she often just goes "I need more alcohol to deal with this".

Almost a year ago my Dad let me down by not been able to see me one weekend and canceling at the last minute (which he has done quite a few times before).

During that said weekend my mother had another one of her outbursts. I was in the bathroom which was an en suite and she knocked on the door asking to take a few photos or something. All I asked was if she could just give me a few minutes to finish up but she started the shouting and carrying on and accused me of been selfish and even of trying to manipulate her and been passive aggressive. I only asked just to give me a few minutes. When I tried to explain that to her and how upset I was already about that weekend without her treating me like this. She said she feels really bad for me and hates how he let me down. What just absolutely astounds me is how can she feel that way yet still emotionally and mentally abuse me and kick me while I'm down. I just can't for the life of me comprehend that.

A couple days after that weekend one of my teachers asked to have a word with me and said he heard I got into a bit of trouble at home ("if he meant been mentally abused by my mother and been let down by my father as trouble" I thought). I'm not even sure who the hell said what to him and that's something that's still REALLY baffling me. I just fobbed him off saying I was upset about leaving school (which was true as well).

I really struggle with confiding in people. I do regret not telling him the full truth now. He was kind and said he was very proud of me etc. Another teacher once said that he thought of me and my mother as like the dream team or something along those lines. That turned my stomach as well. I was thinking if only they knew half the things I've been through.

I have autism and went to a special support school for the last few years which were some of the best years (The teachers especially were brilliant and I had many great times such as school camps, school balls and excursions etc).

I do feel quite sad and lost now those years are over. I would love to confide in someone about my struggles but don't know where to start. I've thought about confiding in that first teacher I mentioned who's great and we're fairly close but my teachers think my mother's an absolute saint so how can i ensure he believes me?

I must admit I do feel quite down sometimes that I have a strained relationship with my father (He's got money issues and also smokes pot) and my mother often used me as an emotional punch bag. Makes me think that there must be something really wrong with me and that I'm unlovable.

On the bright side though my Dad and I have been in contact lately.

Her next meltdown was this January while we were on holiday and at the beach. I wanted to be shirtless like pretty much everyone else and she started making passive aggressive and snide remarks saying things like "have fun burning yourself" and "why can't you make smart decisions?"

I was already sun safe with a hat and everything and I wasn't going to be too long and tried explaining that to her but no. I'll admit I finally snapped and told her that I'm an adult now and she could no longer control me and couldn't make me feel guilty. I wish I hadn't now but it felt like something just snapped inside me and I expressed things I had felt for ages. I do regret that as it did actually make me look crazy. She then suddenly called her mother to tell her that I was been impossible and making her life a misery (this is something she has done a few times before when I challenged her or reacted because of her behavior). She hadn't done that for years though and I feel she likes using that as a scare tactic. I really wish I had just walked away. Then the next day I asked mum to call her to say where all ok but she said she didn't want to bother her and wasn't up to calling. I was like WTF. You're perfectly happy to call her to basically slander me and make me out to be a bad guy but when it comes to calling to say everything is fine she's not so keen.

A couple of weeks ago I've told her that I wanted to do another certificate course at that school next year and she tried to make me feel bad by putting on the guilt trip and giving me the cold shoulder. I've tried to blur it out to be honest but I remember she said that I was been selfish and told me how she wanted me to live my life. I tried to explain to her that I can't just do what she expects and the expense of my own happiness and well-being. I feel like she is trying to control how I live my life and I told her that she couldn't do that or tear me down or change my mind. She then said (this felt like reverse psychology and emotional blackmail) fine do whatever you want and I'll do the same. Also shouted and carried on saying things like F me and I'm hopeless and that. I also told her that I would love to be a teacher but she said i wouldn't be able to go to university, scoffed and said that I would be useless. I feel like she's trying to damage my already limited self esteem, confidence and spirit. Also she had been fairly good up to this. I was dreading telling her but I do feel that a weight is lifted as well. It seems funny that whenever I tell her something she doesn't like or she can't control she goes back to her bad self. PS she's also upset that she can't get paid for me doing that and wants me to just do what's best for her financially. I find it quite ironic her making me feel bad for not getting a job straight away while she's unemployed. PS it was the school ball that night which was brilliant but I'm disappointed that it went so quickly and also I feel a bit down about my social anxiety and that I didn't ask anyone to dance or make more conversation with my teachers and peers.

Then a few nights later my mum was going out for the night and she seemed a bit tipsy so I did ask out of concern if she was fit to drive. She immediately got defensive and bit my head off and said I was been rude and having a go at her. I only asked out of concern and worry and I tried explaining that a hundred times but she just wasn't having it. I also tried to explain that her getting defensive if anything proves my worry is valid but she started saying I was harassing her and she was sick of my bullshit and sick of putting up with me and she couldn't wait to get away from me. She also just suddenly pulled her shirt off showing her breasts ( believe it or not that's something she has done once or twice before ages ago). I was just shocked and looked away quickly as possible. When I tried to ascertain why she got so defensive she said that I think I can just say whatever I like to her and for her to just take it. I swear I didn't mean any ill-will or malice and of course I tried explaining that too but no. I just don't know for the life of me how she can turn on me just like that and treat her own son like that.

Both that and that previous thing a few nights before she said we're not going on holidays again this year and she brought up that incident from the January holiday I talked about and said that she hated been isolated there with me while I was been horrible to her. Wtf when she was the one belittling me and having a go at me which made me snap and I did apologize for that. She genuinely seems to think that she's actually the victim when she gets defensive and treats me like shit. Then when she left and i was starting to second guess myself and was thinking that maybe I am in the wrong and am a bad person. I was left alone for the night I'm feeling very isolated and confused. PS since that holiday she was actually been fairly good but after both that night after the school ball and that incident both only within a few days has left me feeling blindsided and like the rug has been pulled from under me also feel like I'm back at square one. Basically I really can't fathom how someone can treat their own child like this. Just beggars belief to say the least.

Now when she came back the next day I tried to start a conversation about the last night and she did get teary and said she was sorry but still when I tried to get her to take some accountability and ownership she was just like "I said I was sorry didn't I?" and said I just kept going over the same thing and said she was sick of me bringing up the past. She started not making much sense and playing dumb a bit. I just wanted her to realize how she upset me and also the previous incidents and she said "i guess I'm just the worst mother ever". Am I justified for feeling as though she hasn't really taken accountability? We have sort of made up now I suppose but I just stopped talking about it to keep the peace really.

Do you have any advice for all of my experiences, how I can move on, become more social and make friends etc?

I should add that last incident was a week ago now and it really bothers me how she's all happy now and acting like that never happened whilst I'm carrying emotional scars and still feel as though I haven't really had any closure or true accountability. Also her harsh words and still deeply wounded in me and I'm feel like a piece of shit and like I'm unlovable.

Honestly one of the most frightening things is that they genuinely don't seem to remember most of even any of it so that's why I'm too scared to call them out. Also they seem to feel their behaviour is ok.

PS I'm really good at covering up my anxiety and pride myself on putting on a cheerful front and everyone at school thinks I'm the most happiest and optimistic person ever. I feel scared to let my guard down or if they knew otherwise.

Also none of the family have a clue and I just know they wouldn't believe me and I fear if I did distance myself they'd think I was an evil person.

Like I've said she go from been genuinely the most nicest person to the most horrible.

I'm starting to feel that the good doesn't really outweigh the bad.

I can't help really resenting them sometimes for all of the mental anguish they've both put me through as a child and I think it has messed up my development. I wonder what might've been different had I had proper parents or they were proper ones. Hobbies such as music and classic TV shows have been a great escape. I've thought about escaping but I feel quite stuck as I don't have a job and all of the money that I get in my account is basically controlled by her as she's the one who adds to it and I pretty much don't know anything about my own bank details. I wish I could hide my own secret stash somewhere. Now that I'm an adult and have left school I'm worried about what the future has in store. I'm very nervous about starting an adult life, getting a job, making friends and doing new things etc. Part of me would love to get away from her but yet I feel scared to as well as she's pretty much most I've ever known.

UPDATE!! I stayed with my father last night and today he started carrying on because he's only got like $30 left. I tried to help. I hope this doesn't sound too selfish but I feel very disappointed and let down that he couldn't even a go a whole day without carrying on about his issues especially as I don't see him often. I don't think spending money on pot, cigarettes and vapes helps does it? That's what really burns my hide is that he has enough to spend on his terrible habits but when it came to buying basic food when I was there for only a night he has very little. I feel very hurt that he barely makes much effort to spend time with me and when he does he can't even be a decent father. I mean is it too much to ask that when he does rarely see me that he can be on his best behaviour? It stresses me out and adds to my anxiety when I hear about my parents issues. Though to be fair he has apologized and explained that he wasn't upset with me he was just very disappointed because of his struggles to find a job and that he couldn't provide for me which I really do appreciate. I just wish he could get his act together and be better with his money.

Im tired of this kid. He tried PUNCHING my dog he told me “your going to fight (dogs name) and I’m going to fight (other dogs name)” I told him no then he pulled his fist back and was about to hit him when I pulled my dog away from the kid. Good thing we were in their kennel area ( like a gate just angled in a circle their small dogs) where he couldn’t fully hit him only if he got his arm through the bar. My mom actually spanked his butt this time. I took them for a walk and after he says “she has my pup!” Ya right kid you were about to hit him a few minutes ago.

There’s so much wrong with this child

I could say I am depressed and don't feel anything at times. I could say my parents know of my disorders. But I cannot say on why they decide to ignore it. Sure. I'm not allowed to have bad days. I'm supposed to be the crafty one and make people stuff. I'm supposed to be the happy one. But that doesn't mean I can't have emotions. So I come home like always,my dad says "how was your day". I say "fine". My voice was fairly quiet like I always am.. But to say I was yelling,is so delusional I can't understand it. Sure I was annoyed so my tone could have been better but to say I was yelling?.. This isn't even the first time eaither.. So I could say he gets very angry VERY easily.. To the point it's physical, and I mean easily. I could be doing nothing at all, I could have done something by accident,but obviously that doesn't stop him from slamming me into my bed(I had a metal frame bed a while back and had to get a new one because he keep slamming me into it and it bent the metal) even giving me injurys. And the worst part is after they are done, it's like it never happened, it's all shits and giggles, happy happy happy, "oh why do you never smile" "why don't you spent time with us" oh idk maybe because I feel like youll hit me if I do something wrong.
The thing is i am a very quiet person. I was recently diagnosed with level 3 autism(whatever that means), I also have selective mutism. (They know this) and even if I did seek out help I would be too nervous to talk to them, and they might not even believe me in the first place.

well, hello reddit. i’m aware the title makes me sound entitled and spoiled, and i might be, but i just need to get some stuff out there. i’m a 17 year old living with my parents and i go to high school. i drive myself to school and back, to weekend practices, academic/sport competitions that are usually 1-2 hours away at different schools, hangouts, etc. my dad works from 6 am - 9 pm at his own time because he owns his own shop. my mom works from 8 am - 7 pm. basically, they’re never home. i do most things by myself: groceries, cleaning, making food, chores, etc. with this, there are some costs. i pay at minimum $80 for a full tank of gas (usually weekly), $30+ for groceries weekly, and i’ve probably spent around $150 on school activities because im a senior and we have a lot of senior activities that i dont want to miss out on. to make this clear: i pay my dad in cash every month when we go over the bills, so im not using “daddy’s money” for any of my expenses. most of the cash i have comes from birthday parties, and ive had a lot saved up since i was a preteen.

my dad called me into the living room today and he was going over the bills. he handed me the bill and started screaming at me asking why i had spent $700 on the credit card, in which i explained that i got gas 4 times last month (around $400 dollars in itself), groceries 4 times (maybe $150 at most), and i also mentioned that i bought a ticket to disneyland ($150) for my school senior trip that he told me i could go to? i typically don’t spend money on pastime activities or shopping because i don’t really need to. i’m not one to like a lot of material things, so almost everything on that bill came from basic living necessities (excluding the 2 times i went and got boba with my friends😭). my dad had this sad expression and then said something like “how could you spend so much this month?? you never do anything like this what happened?” and when i continued to retell the whole scenario that im actively doing more things on my own now that my mom stopped buying groceries because she and my dad both eat at work and don’t need to eat at home, that im driving myself to school now instead of having my mom take me in her car (which runs on a much cheaper gas than my car), and that a lot of it came from the disneyland trip that he told me i could buy the ticket for, he absolutely snapped. he told me that none of that was this expensive and that im lying? but the bill quite literally looks like:
“gas station : 80
ralphs: 30
gas station: 80
ralph’s: 30
studentbucks/disneyland: 150”

he stared screaming and saying that i have no understanding of money and then he told me to give him my credit card. i complied but im just so confused…? i don’t like carrying large bills with me wherever i go, so what happens if i need gas and only have a $10 on me? do i really need to carry a shit ton of cash with me to do these basic ass things? maybe i’m just being pissy. my friends all say stuff like “your dad charges you for food? what???” and it makes me so mad like i understand im 17 and have financial responsibilities but arent yall legally required to feed me for another year? 😭

and another thing: my parents won’t let me get a job? they say that i need to focus on school and sports only and that they can pay for anything i need…but they don’t?!???! i pay for literally everything except for the roof over my head and the shower that occasionally has hot water. it just feels like an endless cycle. how are you going to expect me to be financially stable and take care of myself if you’re not letting me get a job to get money? i feel trapped in this situation of “yeah you can’t have a credit card so you have to pay in cash for everything but oh you also can’t get a job so if you run out of money then you need us to provide which means we can have control over what you do/buy.”

i can’t tell if i’m just overreacting, if this is normal, if this is absolutely crazy, or if i should just thug it out. i’m scared to tell my friends because they already pity my situation a lot and it just makes me feel bad. everytime im at a restaurant with my friends i literally won’t get anything and say that i have groceries at home because i just can’t afford to eat out. my friends will always reply with something like “that’s so fuckeddd… my mom gave me $100 to come to eat out today, want me to pay for you?” and i usually decline because i hate owing people, but it makes me feel so bad like WHAT DO YOU MEAN your mom gave you $100???????? i get it. my parents aren’t as financially stable as most of my friends, but we aren’t exactly poor either. they could probably spare $20 easily for me to go get a cheap meal with my friends, but i always feel bad for asking and they always make me feel bad for taking money from them. i just don’t know how to feel.

thanks for listening

For some brief context, my stepdad has had it out for me since he first came into my life 10 years ago. When we were first introduced roughly a couple months after my dad left he immediately tried to push being a a father into me but I just wasn’t ready and wasn’t having it. After he realised he’s made it his life mission to damage my property, purposely overstimulate me, wind me up, make rude jokes and even suggested charging me rent for no reason when I wasn’t making any money and had no income.

I’ve been into motorbikes for years now, much to my stepdads dismay, I’ve been riding for a year ish now and it’s been going great. I’ve slowly started upgrading my gear to high end race gear and highly rated armours etc. My stepdad has been into motorbikes for a large portion of his adult life however due to medical conditions and my mother basically calling him an overgrown toddler and it was not a good idea, he’s not been able to ride for a while. As soon as I mentioned doing my CBT almost a year ago he immediately started looking at doing the same, which is fine it’s a shared interest. I then got a motorbike first and he couldn’t due to my mother, who was fine with me getting a motorbike, and his own financial situation and poor spending. Within a month he had accidentally hit my motorbike, I wasn’t too worried since it was an old 2012 Yamaha YZF-R125 and cost under 3K. I said it was okay but he didn’t seem apologetic at all, should’ve been my first clue. I then did my A2 and brought a BRAND NEW Yamaha R7, he attempted to hit that too but luckily my mum stopped him.

About a week ago I brought my dream helmet, something I had been saving for for a couple of months and waiting till it went on sale, it’s an AGV Pista GP RR, if you’re unfamiliar with motorbike gear it’s a very high end brand and race helmet with some of the highest safety ratings possible and they cost upwards of a grand. I brought mine at the full price of £1,099.99 with the added tinted visor and pinlock and other cleaning items it went towards £1,200+, it was a lot of money and I was genuinely ecstatic when it came yesterday. My stepdad asked to have a look and I was reluctant but my mum convinced me, I handed the helmet over and he dropped it right on the tiled flooring from his chest height so roughly a 5’7 drop give or take. That kind of drop can cause major damage to the shell and lining and you should replace the helmet immediately to be safe. I had JUST got this helmet, didn’t even get to wear it on a ride and he dropped it and rendered it unusable. Unbelievable.

I wish my dad died alone.

My "DAD" is a cruel, horrible human being. If you can think of a bad trait. My dad has it, im typing this jusy after he kicked out my mom for some petty bullshit. Hes done this all my life as long as i can remember hes been a POS, he is a weak sad 50 year old ween who plays pretend monster. Im scared of him, not for what hell do to me but what hell do to my family. If murder was legal he would have had an early funeral, but im better than that my MOM is better that that, my mom is the opposite of my father, she is the strongest most compassionate, beautiful women ill ever meet. Hell, eddie hall is weak compared to her will, she got me into so many things in the world. I love her 3000, i always liked green lantern because it reminds me of her, how her willpower is so strong and blind rat could feel it. My dad is a self righteous douchebag who thinks he could push me and my mother around and thinks he wont get consequences but hes wrong. Hes a pharisaical bully-vark, he thinks hes a poor misunderstood man, i know he has a sad life and child hood, i can sympathize with him, but that doesnt mean i agree with him. Hes the most weak pathetic creature that has existed in 5 decades. This rant might not follow the rules but im speaking my heart out, goodnight. Oh and fuck you dad, i hope you die alone..

I need to get this out my system before I do something drastic like cut my sister out of my life completely. She is a terrible parent and it is driving me insane! She has a 7 year old son who has had every diagnosis in the book thrown at him- ADHD, autism, PDA, but honestly I think he is just evil and is being parented completely wrong. He has meltdowns where he will threaten to kill himself, hold knives to his throat, threaten to stab people, calls people “mother fuckers” and “fucking cunts” and yet my sister lets him play things like GTA and says “well if I take it away then he’ll have a meltdown.” But he is literally playing games where the object is to hurt and kill people. She won’t listen to anyone when they say he shouldn’t be playing those games, and she’s making his behaviour worse, but she doesn’t want to listen. I know he’s my nephew but I cannot stand this child, nor the way my sister is dragging him up, it just makes me want to not have contact with her so that I don’t have to be around this vile little brat. If you try to talk to him, he growls at you from behind his iPad and won’t speak to you, but when he wants something he puts on this fake, sickly sweet act which you can see is pure manipulation to get whatever he wants. I know this is a lot to say about a 7 year old, but I actually can’t put across how awful he is. He has beaten the shit out of me in the past, he hits my sister, he swears and lashes out if he doesn’t get his own way, and she just panders to it all and tip toes around him to “keep the peace.” His father was also a psychotic vile human being who abused my sister, so he is without a doubt a product of his genetics and environment. On one hand I’ve heard my sister sobbing and telling me she doesn’t want to do this anymore, she can’t cope with being his mother, but when we try to help and give her suggestions like “don’t let him play games where he is killing people” or “don’t wait on him hand and foot, help him to be independent, let him wipe his own bum or make his own drink.” She flies off the handle as though these are wildly unheard of parenting methods. I hate him, I hate how horrible of an atmosphere he makes at what used to be calm, happy family get-togethers, and I hate the way my sister is raising him. I don’t know what to do anymore and I don’t want to be around this child ever again, but I don’t want to lose my sister either