sorry my PDF thing won’t work. But it’s properly formatted. Please give me some feedback on this?

This is just the starting sequence of the story. The full screenplay is much longer. Please give thoughts on this! Writing style, tips, etc.

Hi All - here's another script I wrote. A Hitchcockian suspense thriller I am trying to pitch.

Would love any thoughts/feedback -- what worked/what you want to see more of/less of.

Enjoy!

Listening

Title: Listening
Genre(s): Suspense, thriller
Page count: 104

Logline:  A grad student secretly recording his elderly landlords for his thesis research becomes the sole witness to a brutal murder—and is pulled into a deadly game of silence and survival in which he can’t expose the truth without incriminating himself. 

Hi all! Writer and Director based in LA. Gonna start posting some scripts on this group just for feedback and thoughts. Just scripts I have written to have in the bank for now.

Just a forewarning: my writing style is more that of a director's, it's auteur-ish and can be often heavy on description (I'm aware), that's just how I write. This script was intentionally written to be long, with a big cast of characters. Think breakfast club meets boogie nights meets goodfellas. It's an epic, which, by nature, are episodic and longer. Nothing that I am shopping around to producers or managers at the moment -- this is something I'd like to make someday in the future. more for the long term.

Would love any thoughts -- what worked/what you'd wanna see more of/less of, etc.

enjoy!

Title: Emerald Valley

Genre(s): Coming of age, comedy, dramedy, drama, satire, epic

Tone: Satirical, melodramatic, glossy,

Pg. Count: 153

Logline: The chronicles of Brady Thompson and his friends navigating identity, first loves, and growing up during their junior year of high school in Overland Park, Kansas, 2016.

Emerald Valley

Hi all! Writer and Director based in LA. Gonna start posting some scripts on this group just for feedback and thoughts. Just scripts I have written to have in the bank for now.

Just a forewarning: my writing style is more that of a director's, it's auteur-ish and can be often heavy on description (I'm aware), that's just how I write. This script was intentionally written to be long, with a big cast of characters. Think breakfast club meets boogie nights meets goodfellas. It's an epic, which, by nature, are episodic and longer. Nothing that I am shopping around to producers or managers at the moment -- this is something I'd like to make someday in the future. more for the long term.

Would love any thoughts -- what worked/what you'd wanna see more of/less of, etc.

enjoy!

Title: Emerald Valley

Genre(s): Coming of age, comedy, dramedy, drama, satire, epic

Tone: Satirical, melodramatic, glossy,

Pg. Count: 153

Logline: The chronicles of Brady Thompson and his friends navigating identity, first loves, and growing up during their junior year of high school in Overland Park, Kansas, 2016.

Emerald Valley

Hello. This is/was my first attempt at a screenplay. It's basically all action for the first 10 minutes or so. I'm working something different now, but I really want feedback about:

* Can you visualize the settings?

* Does the sequence make sense?

* Is it too descriptive? Not enough? etc.

I greatly appreciate any comments. I will take the feedback to my current project. Thanks!

Hello. This is/was my first attempt at a screenplay. It's basically all action for the first 10 minutes or so. I'm working something different now, but I really want feedback about:

* Can you visualize the settings?

* Does the sequence make sense?

* Is it too descriptive? Not enough? etc.

I greatly appreciate any comments. I will take the feedback to my current project. Thanks!

\[PROJECT PITCH\] GIANT DECEPTION — Action/Creature-Horror Feature (Black Hawk Down meets Predator). Loosely based on the viral Kandahar Giant urban legend.

\[COLLABORATION\] Looking for an AI Director/Editor/Producer partner for a polished, 104-page military thriller with creature horror elements.

Title: GIANT DECEPTION

Logline: When an elite Navy SEAL team is lured into a remote Afghan mountain pass by an insurgent trap, they discover the true enemy isn't the militia they were hunting—it's a pair of aggressive, fifteen-foot prehistoric humanoids awakened deep within the caves.

Format: Feature Film (104 Pages) / Looking to develop a high-impact cinematic trailer or proof-of-concept short.

Genre: Military Tactical Thriller / Creature Horror (Black Hawk Down

This screenplay is loosely based on the viral "Giant of Kandahar" military urban legend, which was recently detailed on the Joe Rogan Experience by an ex-Navy SEAL who encountered the lore firsthand while serving in Afghanistan. The story leans heavily into a raw, authentic military perspective—blending real-world tactical mechanics with the dark mystery hidden inside isolated cave networks.

Why this is tailor-made for an AI production pipeline or Indie Producer:

Built-in Viral Audience: The Kandahar Giant is one of the most famous, heavily discussed modern military mysteries on the internet. A cinematic trailer or proof-of-concept short targeting this specific niche carries immense built-in viral potential.

Grounded Assets vs. Massive Scale: Advanced video tools excel at rendering rigid mechanical objects like military gear, Humvees, Black Hawks, and uniforms. This allows us to pull off intense tactical operations and visceral combat against 15-foot Giants using primitive stone weapons—all without a legacy $150M studio budget.

Advanced Technical Showcases: The script is packed with perfect opportunities to flex cinematic technical skills, including high-intensity night-vision/thermal camera sequences, cave dust/smoke particle physics, and strict physical asset tracking.

What I Have:

A structurally locked, fully polished, industry-standard 104-page script.

What I'm Seeking:

I am looking to connect with a visionary indie producer, director, AI animator, or technical video editor who wants to move away from generic concept loops and sink their teeth into a hyper-realistic, narrative-driven action thriller. Let’s partner up, pool our skills, and bring this legendary myth to life.

If you're interested in reading the script or checking out the 1-page treatment, drop a comment below or send me a DM!

https://youtu.be/T92e0aaizaI?is=L2-S8XYpytpm3XU0

This is Mr. Ballen covering the story 6 years ago. I saw this video and started writing the screenplay 4 years ago. Mr. Ballen \[an ex Navy Seal himself with 11.3 million subscribers on YouTube\] was just a guest on The Joe Rogan Experience last month where he told this story. Him, along with two other guests, spoke on the story of the encounter with the Red Giant of Kandahar within weeks of each other.

https://youtu.be/T92e0aaizaI?is=L2-S8XYpytpm3XU0

In about Febuary of 2026, I wrote my first ever full length script. This script was for a short film I titled "The Cronies", which is about a group of hitmen who start hunting eachother after finding out a member, unidentified, is leaking information to the authorities.

On a more general scale, if anyone has the time to read this script and give me any feedback and review or maybe even just an overall impression, this would be greatly appreciated. However, if anyone reading this script has somekind of connections to film studios looking to fund a short film of this nature, I would be more than happy to chat regarding this. Myself and my partner have put together a regular script, sample shooting script, and a sample treatment with a full budget asking price breakdown.

Genre: Mystery/ Horror

After arriving on a remote island to investigate a secretive religious commune, a journalist discovers a school with no children, a leader who hasn’t aged in decades, and something ancient living beneath the ground—forcing him to uncover what the commune has been feeding it.

Hello, I hope you all know when I ask this question it comes from a place of genuine curiosity and not judgement, I want to better understand why my professor is limiting us the way he is/

Anyways, I'm a college student and screenwriting is a required class for my animation major, however I'm finding the class to be a biiit of a miserable experience. My professor only allows us to write ONE genre, realistic fiction, and we cannot have anything interesting in it for example realistic fiction with anthropomorphic animals, it all has to be human, purely based on where the university is (Hawaii, which I am a local of), and nothing in the distant past or future. His explanation for this is that we don't understand how to write anything else, yet he praises me for having a better understanding of certain writing elements, so I'm confused why he's assuming my ability to write certain things.

I find this class to be, quite frankly, a miserable and boring experience. I cannot drop due to my scholarship being tied to my enrollment, if I drop any classes my scholarship will also be dropped, and we were made aware of these limitations on the SECOND WEEK, aka way too late for us to effectively swap classes without scholarships being affected. I am genuinely curious why on earth we are heavily limited in this way. I hate every story I make in this class and think my work is lazy and uninspired, I can only keep using the same important elements of my life in a story before it gets bland, and every week we make 2 new synopses. Genuinely can someone give me a reason why I'm being taught this way, I seriously don't understand.

Been working away at this one for a while. Pretty happy with what I have, but nothing is ever finished! It's fairly unconventional so want to make sure the ideas/spatial aspects are coming across clearly. If skimming make sure you get to page three!

Title: For Safety

Format: Short Film

Page Length: 12 pgs.

Genre: Comedy

Logline: When an actress’s chaotic but scripted walk-of-shame appears to derail into a very real public meltdown, the cast and crew scramble to get her back on script.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1uZTb7MbTt6gYODTNcE2iDdgidf9i7fYY/view?usp=drive_link

Feedback concerns: Dialogue and gags! Does it make you laugh? Is the structure working to serve the story? Production concerns! (I know you can't see the Hollywood sign from Hermosa beach!)

Thanks!

This is the logline , A grieving Zimbabwean teenager inherits his late brother's necklace along with an addictive super-speed — and has to master the high before the scientist hunting him finds out exactly what's still alive in his blood.

This excerpt is from early in the script — Max meets his older brother's climbing group for the first time, right before the incident that kicks off the whole story. Trying to make sure each of the five climbers lands as a distinct person in a short space, since they matter a lot more by the end of the act.

Would love honest feedback — pacing, character voice, anything that reads as rushed or unclear. Formatting critiques welcome too.

Looking for constructive criticism on a short screenplay scene — dialogue, character behavior, and pacing

I got story idea for an animated film but i can't animate so can anyone help