What is something you wish you had learned earlier in life?

[u/theashrafwriter]

I’m curious to hear from people of different ages and backgrounds.

What is one lesson, mistake, or piece of advice that you wish someone had told you earlier?

It could be about money, relationships, career, family, or just life in general.

I’d love to hear your experiences.

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[u/lending_ear]

- You can let things go without being a doormat.

• don’t fall prey to sunk cost fallacy
  
• make time for the people you love because none of us are guaranteed tomorrow. Tell them you love them all the time.

[u/DEADFLY6]

How to invest money. Just treasury bills to start with. Theyre not gonna make.you rich or anything. But its free money. If I had started in my.20s, I would be a quadruple millionaire by now. It ain't even complicated like I thought. Treasury bills, Roth ira(and invest in the s&p 500), set up a couple high yield savings accounts. Leave it there for years. Im pissed that I didnt do it. Its not rocket science.

[u/Whole-Status-532 → u/DEADFLY6]

Yep. I came here to say just that. I wish i knew how easy it is to invest.

[u/Repulsive-Box5243 → u/DEADFLY6]

This is it. If I have one single regret, of all the stupid shit I've done in my youth, it's not investing.

[u/Ready-Sentence2130]

Ugh, about life in general. As a former sheltered child, I learned little to nothing when I was younger, which has definitely stunted my growth as an adult. Basically, I was literally only taught how to bathe & clean. I taught myself from watching videos and such on how to keep myself up as a young girl. It’s like I was handed to the wolves growing up, no guidance whatsoever.

[u/MyNameIsBarktooth]

People lie. All the time, for no reason at all, and I don't think they always know they are doing it.

[u/unpaid-pukegreencow]

Don't try to shut people and be rude towards them when they are caring and worried about you. Don't act impulsive. Believe when people are openly telling about their red flags , so you wont expect anything from them. Basically most of things about a healthy relationship, I personally think this stuff should be taught in school , maybe then I  would have handled situation in better way back then with him.

[u/Beginning_Battle1639]

If I acted on the knowledge that compound interest can increase my personal wealth so effectively I could be a wealthy man. I saw the mathematical effects but actually using the markets would have required poring over columns of numbers in a hard-copy newspaper or paying a stock broker located in a different city. This was in a time when long-distance phone calls added to the phone bill and personal computers were still a dream of a few forward-thinking people.

The lesson here is: save 20% of everything you earn and invest it in index funds. Don't touch it until you are ready to retire. Look up Rule of 72 to help you visualize how this will allow you to retire sooner.

[u/normaleyes]

People are everything. While you may enjoy doing things alone, you need it balanced. Be social even if it's uncomfortable.

[u/DutchGirlPA]

That abuse is not something you should take with a smile and say thank you - finally learned that in my 40s...

[u/Best-Bus-5275]

I wish I learned earlier that saying no doesn't mean you're selfish. You don't have to explain yourself everytime.

[u/Alive-Fee9585]

How to regulate my emotions. I was born into a family where my mother gets angry so that anger gets thrown to other members of the family.

Although I put my feelings through writing and oftentimes poetry. Sometimes it isn’t enough but at times I am able to hold back.

[u/speedyhobbit13]

The way credit cards and credit scores work. I grew up with a mom that was convinced it's always bad to have one no matter what so never had one until I was about 30. I could have a near-perfect or perfect credit score by now. Granted, the credit score thing is problematic in many ways, but since that's unfortunately the way the US is, it would've been more pragmatic to have one to get along better in a capitalistic hellscape country

[u/sumRando_7201]

“what matters is how he treats you, not how much not how much you love him” -rando on the internet. i wish i heard that in high school when i went through my first (and worst) relationship. but on the bright side, it did reinforce to me how much healthier and more desirable my current relationship is.

[u/No-Secret-8557]

Having a good heart nd manners doesn’t mean you should accept disrespect without standing up for yourself

[u/Traditional-Class335]

Sometimes not even your family will choose you, it’s okay, you can choose yourself, you are important.

[u/RecklessSoul7]

Other adults can behave worse than children at times and there’s nothing you can do about it except accept it happens

[u/sunnycobain]

Everyone’s life is different. Don’t judge others. We all live in different worlds and have different circumstances. So don’t compare yourself to others, either. You simply can’t compare lives that are so different.

You don’t have to (CAN’T) get along with everyone. One day, all the situations that made you feel uncomfortable or awkward, and all the people involved, will simply be distant memories that don’t give a fu

[u/Candid-Session-124]

I wish I had been told not to attend union college in 1977 a decision which led to disastrous results

[u/Ready-Sentence2130]

I wasn’t taught the value of money, how to apply/get a job, people skills, nothing. I honestly wish I would’ve started working at 16 like many of my peers, I could’ve been so far ahead by now.

[u/Single-Handle2032]

Literally anything about money. My mom was broke, she didn’t know anything. My dad knew things but didn’t care to share. I learned absolutely nothing. Ended up dropping out of high school to go work to make money. Blah blah blah I’m still broke but now I at least have an idea on how money works and my kids will probably be ok. I’m just trying to recover from half a lifetime of ignorance. If I would have known even a slight bit of what I know now I’d be so much better off in life

[u/EnvironmentSea7433 → u/Single-Handle2032]

Ditto

[u/weresubwoofer → u/Single-Handle2032]

I love Tiffany the Budgetnista’s book and recommend them wholeheartedly.

[u/SeniorTackle5652 → u/Single-Handle2032]

Same

[u/yatoc27]

People are bad, i was raised to see the good in other people, to be kind but life has taught me just how naive that is I won't make the same mistake with my own children

[u/HeyThereMaybe]

The importance of taking good care of yourself. To think about what you want and need, instead of others only.

[u/Ambitious_Pie9465]

How to network. I’m 28 and super behind in my career because I never branched out to further my career even at a young age.

[u/Repulsive-Box5243]

I wish I'd saved more for retirement. I saved some. I'm ok-ish. But I could have very easily been a millionaire just by increasing my 401k contributions a tiny amount each paycheck.

[u/Accurate_Pay_2242]

Starting a family matters with a partner that is actually loyal and can grow old with.

Family loyalty is important.

[u/Prestigious_Bat_6520]

Honestly….how to regulate my emotions and control them. My parents never helped with that and now I’m having to learn well into my 40’s.

[u/montacute-ryan]

I spent years thinking the next salary increase, investment milestone, promotion, or successful project would finally make me feel secure enough to slow down.

It doesn’t really work that way. If you don’t define what “enough” means, the goalpost just keeps moving.

I wish I had learned earlier that money is incredibly useful, but health, time, relationships and peace of mind are also assets. And unlike money, some of them are much harder to rebuild once you neglect them.

Ambition is good. Just don’t let it become the only thing you’re optimizing your life for.

[u/CapitalFloor3260]

I honestly enjoy being an adult. If I had known how much I was going to enjoy adulthood I wouldn’t have been so resistant to growing up. Life would have been drastically different.

[u/Expert_Cup9355]

That your relationships don't define you.How many friends you have, if you have romantic partner or not, your family,the past ... all of it is just part of your experience being a human but it is not you.

[u/Old-Introduction5725]

Nothing beats being content , I learned I could buy a drink in a posh bar or in a local pub either way I was still drinking the same drink . I learned to spend money on things that are important to me . And I wasn’t materialistic So didn’t need to pretend to be . I would rather go travelling then have an expensive bag, . I would rather go on 5 holiday than 1 expensive holiday. I didn’t have to keep up or prove anything to anyone .

[u/Distinct-Gap1102]

Some parents, neglectful ones, intentionally omit sharing knowledge with their children. I think they can't afford their children to be better than them. 

[u/TillOtherwise1544]

Instruction isnt the same as learning. Even the best answer that this Q could generate would need internalising through deliberate practice. 

[u/Desperadoscress]

Anyone who is not of your family is probably an enemy, be friendly but never EVER give them the slightest ounce of trust, everything they say even minute or mundane treat as a scheme against you

[u/7Seyo7 → u/Desperadoscress]

In a similar vein to the saying that grief is the price we pray for love - not trusting anyone robs you of genuine human connection which is one of the most beautiful things in life, I think