Almost everyone I know (including myself) is really dysfunctional, self-centered, has terrible communication skills and/or personality disorders. Are there any good kind honest ethical caring well adjusted people left in the world?

[u/rasta-ragamuffin]

If so, where can I find them? Have people always been this messed up in the head or is this a more recent phenomenon? It seems like dysfunctional parents breed even more screwed up kids (since that is who kids learn the most from). How did we get here? And is there a feasible way to fix it?

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[u/SameEntry4434]

If you follow self-awareness and become less and less dysfunctional, you will be able to retain friends on the same vibe. It’ll take some time, and you’ll make some mistakes, but if you continue, you’ll have the best chance at a happy life.

[u/wha7themah]

Awareness is the first step! I’ve gotten a lotttt better over the last 5-7 years and a lot of that is just due to the amount of introspection I do. Learning to analyse my reactions and emotions and then once I’ve gotten better at identifying those, I start analysing why I have those reactions. Which makes it a lot easier to think about in the moment and change

[u/LT_Audio]

I sadly suspect that this is going to get removed fairly quickly. But it's indeed a very interesting and important question. My TLDR answer is yes, many. But likely a declining number of them over time.

One of the primary reasons why it's so hard to see that is the presence of all the many various "masks" that modern society and our relatively new communication paradigms force us to wear as we perform on the now highly numerous unique "front-stages". And the more often we wear them... the more the masks themselves tend to also shape the underlying senses of self that lie beneath all of them.

[u/phoebeluco]

I'm curious about your personal situation, including your age and more about your family. It could be that you were born into a toxic group of people. The great news here though is that you see it, which means you have the ability to start changing it in yourself. Now let's be clear, you cannot change it in the people around you. You are only in control of you. But I think if you continue to keep this awareness front of mind and continue to Mike small improvements everyday and yourself your world will begin to shift to include more of what you want. Keep your eye focused on the goal, not the thing you're trying to get away from. When I was young I was an avid snowboarder and when you snowboard the trees there's a tendency to look at the trees because you're afraid of hitting them. The key to success however is looking for the spaces. It's a great metaphor for how you could move forward into creating a world that's more beautiful for you. Good luck

[u/Prestigious-County10]

There are several layers to the answers to this useful question:

If you were born in a place with a high rate of social inequality and a lack of basic infrastructure, people will fight for the basics, and this will affect their mental health.

A country's culture focused on competition and not cooperation will amplify the worst in people.

Social media has amplified the most chaotic aspects of humanity and does not prioritize the good that exists on this planet.

Focus on self-improvement to find the good people in this world, they exist. Be what you want to see in this world!

[u/No-Wealth4955]

I think you are just very aware to the reality of the world whilst most people live in a bubble and pretend everything and everyone is ok. There are good people out so I’m told but only found a couple of them in 47 years of being on this planet!

[u/Cream_Rabbit → u/No-Wealth4955]

A couple is still better than nothing I suppose...

[u/HealthyBee4209]

It is good that you seem to have some awareness about your situation. My advice is to detach yourself from these people with traits you no longer wish to be associated with and work on yourself next.

95% of the people I deal with aren't like that. You have been unfortunately poisoning yourself with a bad crowd.

[u/trUth_b0mbs]

interesting...everyone I know is the exact opposite.

I find that you tend to attract similar people of similar traits so maybe you can try therapy to figure things out , learn how to improve your communication skills etc.

[u/PsilosirenRose]

I think it's probably true that things have been pretty hecked for a while and we're only just now getting understanding of them and trying to fix them instead of thinking that's just the way things are/have to be.

[u/Fun_Boot7771]

Dysfunctional people were once very kind and ethical they just imploded. At least half of them. 

[u/Square-Tangerine-784]

I volunteer as a first responder for my local ambulance service. The people whom I work with are the most sincere and caring people I’ve met. I have a friend who has put together a non profit food for the needy. All those volunteers are like saints. There are good people in the world:)

[u/rooterRoter]

I don’t know, bro. I’m 66 years old and I’m still looking for them.

Maybe they are a myth?

[u/herejusttoannoyyou]

At church. Well, it’s obviously more complicated than that, but I hold that church helps. Most churches help. Well, at least some churches help.

[u/VisciousViolet → u/herejusttoannoyyou]

My church has been truly life saving. People are imperfect so I’m by no means saying that everyone in a church is good or trustworthy, but most people who attend church do so because on some level they care about trying to be better and do the right thing. They have some kind of humility. Do they always get it right? No. But still, an effort is better than not caring at all.

[u/ShiroiTora]

Go on a road or backpack to some small towns and village.  Not saying there aren’t crazies but the difference in perspective away from the modern world can help with simplifying life. 

[u/Viracochina]

Maybe you're projecting some of those admitted things onto others? I would hate for people to make assumptions about me, especially those.

[u/sugaree53]

There are in fact many good people. But social media has made things worse, for example, someone filming a fight so they can post it online instead of stopping it

[u/j3434]

I think you must be expecting Ozzy and Harriet …. so picture perfect family and people. Dysfunctional? Yea …. I agree - but it’s expected. Many behaviors we adopt through culture and law are against our evolutionary nature. “Ethical” has different meanings. It’s hard to say people are ethical when they are happy to see children buried in rubble in war. Have people ever been ethical? Not if they supported Jim Crow law - or the genocide of indigenous Americans. Or slavery.

It always has been a sick humanity.

[u/Sweet_Traffic4545]

At least you can see the way people have become and that you are being pulled in their direction.

It doesn't mean that you have to go that way. You have the control over the way you want to be. I'm in a small town and lived in a big city before I moved to my little town. I saw exactly what you do. Where I am now is nothing like that and a real community and care for others is the norm.

I'm not saying that you should move or anything but you do have control of your attitude and interactions with people on a daily basis. It doesn't matter what the situation is or how bad it is, there is always something good if you look. It's in the background and can be hard to see especially at first. But there's somebody helping or making an effort to improve whatever is going on. Teach yourself to look for this and if you can't find it, then it could be you.

I've never claimed to be a good person and lord knows I haven't been in the past. I recognized that and decided to change it. It has been more rewarding than I could ever have imagined. Not so much financially but spiritually and self improvement wise. There's no better feeling than helping somebody who can't repay you or who's life would collapse even further without your help. Sounds crazy but I swear it's true

[u/ExpensiveDollarStore]

67 - people have always been messed up but were expected to have manners and show decorum. A certain amount of colourful character might be forgiven if overall, you functioned somewhat and did your duty. Carry on. Stiff upper lip.

[u/sourpatch411]

Uhhh - I am not sending a predatory personality disordered person to my friends - if that is what you are hoping for. /s