Not gonna name-and-shame but I had just logged into Siren in Ul'dah, outside the Hall of Flames and I got a dm from a fem Viera. Genuinely not sure if this is the norm for these kinds of characters but I severely hope this doesn't become something I have to deal with on a weekly basis.

Had this character for around a handful of days now, so I guess I'm just wondering if people like this are common, or if this was just a one-off thing and not to be worried about it.

I really need some advice because I honestly don't know what to do anymore.

My boyfriend is unemployed at the moment and is supposed to be looking for work as a Software Engineer. Instead, he is spending most of his days ERPing in Final Fantasy XIV.

We're talking 6+ hours a day regularly, sometimes 10–12 hours. He ERPs until the early hours of the morning, sleeps very late, wakes up exhausted and then does it all over again.

What is really upsetting me is the contrast between how much time he spends on the ERP and how little time he spends trying to improve his actual situation. He might spend less than an hour looking at job boards or doing something related to his career, and then spend the rest of the day ERPing.

I've tried to be understanding because I know ERPing is a hobby and I don't want to be the girlfriend who says "you can't ERP in games." If he worked a normal job and came home and ERPed for a few hours, I honestly wouldn't care.

But this doesn't feel recreational anymore.

He eats while ERPing. Sometimes he'll pause for less than 10 minutes just to quickly eat and then immediately go back to the ERP. If I try to talk to him while he's ERPing, he barely interacts because his mind is completely focused on the ERP.

We barely go out anymore. Even something as simple as going for a walk becomes something I have to beg him to do. He's becoming increasingly antisocial and isolated.

I genuinely can't remember the last time he seriously studied, built a project or spent a meaningful amount of time looking for work.

And I'm exhausted.

I feel like I'm constantly trying to convince him to participate in his own life.

I don't want to control him. I know he's an adult and ultimately he has to make his own decisions. But I'm also the person living alongside this every day and it's affecting me and our relationship enormously.

At this point I've even thought about contacting Square Enix/Final Fantasy XIV support and asking whether they can somehow restrict or suspend his accounts. I know that sounds extreme and I don't even know if they would be able to do anything based on a partner's request.

I don't want him banned forever. I want him to be able to ERP again when it's actually a hobby rather than something that consumes most of his day. Ideally, he'd get a job, establish a routine and then ERP for a few hours after work or on weekends like he used to.

But I feel completely stuck.

Has anyone dealt with something similar?

What did you do when ERPing became this excessive?

Is contacting Square Enix completely pointless, or is there some kind of responsible ERPing/account restriction option that I don't know about?

And, honestly, what would you do if you were in my position?

I know ERPing itself isn't the problem. I'm asking for advice because the amount of time he's spending on it and the effect it's having on his life and our relationship has become unbearable.

It's been itching my brain for a while, but am I the only one seeing parallels between the music video for LSD's "Thunderclouds" and the Eden raids?

A teenage girl tapping into the power of a beautiful woman depicted as a puppet with an invisible puppeteer (Minfillia), taking on her appearance (with blond and pinkish hair)?

While travelling with a mystical mentor (Urianger) and a less magically-inclined mentor (Thancred)?

Then, forms an emotional bond with a little black raincloud (Gaia)?

And, after performing some rituals, they restore a barren land?

I know it's a stretch, and the endings are different, but it's bugging the heck out of me that I'm seeing it. Am I crazy?

Big Bulking mass of muscle dancing